SURPRISE! It's not over yet!

You guys are going to HATE me.

But I still really appreciate all of the reviews. I love reading them :)

An annoying beeping woke me up on Monday morning. I slammed my hand on it to shut it up, then buried my head under my blankets. As my mind cleared from just-woke-up fogginess, Selena was the first thing that entered my mind.

I smiled and managed to throw the blankets off of me. I stared up at the ceiling, wallowing in the memories of the perfect days we had spent together and at the possibilities we could make happen. We had either been texting, calling, or Skype-ing each other since we had been separated.

Taking a breath, I shot myself out of bed. The sooner I got ready, the sooner I would see Selena.

While brushing my teeth, I mulled over how people would react to us. There were always going to be people opposed to the idea of gays and lesbians, but I believed that if you have someone you deeply care about, then you can overcome any obstacles put up by ignorant people.

I dressed and put on my make-up in record time that morning and when I ran down the stairs to the kitchen, my mother was pouring a cup of coffee looking groggy.

"Good morning," I said cheerily to her.

"Good morning," she said tiredly as she gave me an odd look. My blood boiled for a second and I wondered 'Why is it so surprising I'm being nice?' but I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It's possible I haven't been entirely pleasant around my mom.

I grabbed a piece of toast and nibbled on it as I thought.

I missed the days when I was younger and she was my best friend. Of course, she wanted me to be a perfect little pre-debutant then, too, but looking back, she just wanted what was best for me. She loved things like big bows and frilly dresses, so maybe it was her way of trying to make me happy.

I couldn't remember the last time I told her I loved her.

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

I stood up.

"I love you."

I could tell she was surprised. Instead of making a snarky comment, she just replied, "I love you too, sweet pea."

Sweet pea.

That had been her nickname for me when I was little.

Awkwardly, I asked, "Um, are you ready to go?"

Even though I was a junior in high school and had turned seventeen last month, I still didn't like to drive. I wasn't very good at it anyway: my first time, I put a scratch all the way down on one side of the car on a sign in a parking lot.

When my mom and I were in the car, I stared out the window, smiling widely. I couldn't wait to see Selena. After fifteen minutes that were far too long, I was jumping out of the car with my backpack slung over my shoulder.

"Bye, Mom!"

I didn't wait for a reply.

When I got to the hallway, there were a few people hanging around their lockers, but none of them were Selena, so I didn't care. I put my books and bag in my locker, then debated what to do. Selena might be in the library, so I headed there.

A quick look in the library was enough to tell me Selena wasn't there, either, but Miley, Nick, and Joe were sitting on the couch. I was considering turning around to wait for Selena in the hall, but Joe looked over and saw me.

Not wanting to seem weird, I walked over to them and took a seat on the arm of the couch.

"Good morning," I greeted them. Not bothering to wait for them to finish their greetings, I asked Miley, "Have you seen Selena?"

I would have asked Nick and Joe, too, but Nick still thought he had a chance with Selena. That caused a cross between satisfaction and annoyance inside me; satisfaction because she was mine and annoyance because the thought of Nick trying to hit on Selena infuriated me. Still, he was my friend and I didn't want to purposefully hurt him, even if I was with the girl he had just told me last week he liked. I smiled. She was mine, my girl. I liked the sound of that.

"No. Are we not enough for you?" Miley said teasingly.

"Not even close," I said with grin, leaning in to hug her. She tried to push me away, but I still managed to crush her in a hug. "Just kidding. But I still need to find her." I stood up and started to walk to the door, saying over my shoulder, "I'll be right back."

Just as I was about to make a sharp turn out of the library, a body turned right in front of me. I began to jump back, but then I realized who it was.

"Selena! I've been looking for you," I said warmly, my hands finding hers. I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, but when her body stiffened, I quickly turned it into an awkward hug.

I looked at her with concern in my eyes, but she just looked away and mumbled, "Hi," as she broke our hands apart and headed for the couch.

Something wasn't right.

"Hey," she said as she squeezed in on the couch. No one else seemed to notice anything off, but she didn't look exactly chipper. Not herself. And she wouldn't even look at me. I may not have ever had a girlfriend, but I know that she was supposed to want to be near me, smile and giggle with me, play with my hands or my hair or at least acknowledge me.

I tried to think of a way to ask her what was going on. When we were together on the weekend, talking came easily but now… I just wanted to pull her away, look in her eyes, and her just to pour her hear out so that I could fix it.

I kept trying to catch her eye, but she kept her eyes away from me or on someone else. I went around the couch and put my hands on her shoulders, but she just tensed.

The way Selena was acting worried me. Was everything okay? Was something going on? The situation made my stomach more than a little tumultuous as I went in my first period class.

I kept trying to catch Selena in between classes, but either she was almost sprinting to get away to her next class or was already gone. Sitting in Mr. Lewis's classroom, I thought about the time Selena rescued me from this very room.

An idea came to me. Maybe I could rescue her. Seeing her had brightened my day, so why couldn't I do the same?

I raised my hand. Before Mr. Lewis could even call on me, I said, "May I go to the bathroom?"

He sighed. "Yes, Demi."

"Thank you," I said, and tried not to run as I left the room.

My anticipation was building as I speed-walked through the school to the hall where Selena's French room was. A smile was spreading across my mouth. She would be thrilled.

I got to the French room and leaned against a wall. My hand reached into my pocket for my cell phone, but just met air and fabric. Damn, I hadn't brought my phone to school today. Well, there were other ways to get someone's attention.

I slid over to the door and prepared to wave my arms at Selena till she looked at me when a fully grown woman walked in front of the door.

When I saw her looking at me, my eyes widened to the extent of nearly falling out of my head and instinctively, I ducked down. As soon as I hit the ground, I realized I was screwed. Wincing, I slowly stood back up to face her.

She was still staring at me while several students who had apparently seen my spectacle were laughing.

I opened the door and said weakly, "Hi, Ms. Faye."

"Hello, Demi. What exactly- well, what were you-"

Thinking fast, I answered, "Um, well, Mrs. Owens sent me from the office and I was about to knock when you walked over here and I got a little scared so I, well, fell."

Now the whole class collectively giggled.

"Alright, what did Mrs. Owens need?"

Oh. I didn't think of that one.

"Um… she told me Selena needed to come to the office for something."

"Did she not send a note?"

My heart pounded and sweat prickled my palms.

"She didn't say anything about one."

I held my breath as she seemed to think this over.

"Okay, Selena, you may go."

A nervous Selena stood up and walked over to the door. I waited till we were out of the line of sight of the class room before pulling her around a corner and leaning her against a wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Busting you out for a minute or two." I grinned as I leaned in.

Selena looked away and bit her lip anxiously while a frown lightly knitted her eyebrows.

Suddenly, my plan didn't seem so brilliant anymore.

"This morning you were… Is there anything wrong?" I asked, a little worried again.

"Demi…" she began, and slid out from under my arms and took a few steps away.

Concernedly, I reached out to touch her.

"Don't!" She held up a hand to stop me and looked around worriedly. She caught me confused gaze. "Look, I'm sorry, but someone could see.

Still, I took step towards her. I had an awful feeling where this was going as I asked cautiously, "I don't understand. Why would that matter?"

"I've been thinking and… well, neither one of us realized how serious this really is. Doing this would be a huge thing."

"Doing what?" I asked dryly.

"Being open, telling people and letting them know that we were… well, like this."

"So you want me to act like there's nothing between us, like we don't feel anything about each other."

My voice was flat.

"No, it's not that-"

"So we'll act like a couple and like we care about each other?"

"I can't," Selena said softly.

What happened to the brave, amazing Selena I had this weekend? Reaching for her, I took both of her hands in mine.

"Yes, you can. We can. We'll do this together, I'll be right here-"

"Demi, think! This could seriously change our lives. People look at…" Selena looked like she had trouble saying the next three words. "Gays and lesbians differently. Some people would hate us and reject us and it would make life so much harder."

She sounded stressed and desperate. Her words turned into a plea.

"Demi, I'm scared. Look, why can't we just… keep this between us and keep it quiet?"

"Because I can't lie about something this big!" I said, nearing a shout. Softening my voice, I came closer to Selena. "I want to be with you." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And I want to share the way I feel about you with everyone."

"Isn't us knowing how we feel enough?"

Right then, I saw it in her eyes. She wasn't going to take the plunge, not going to take this chance with me. She wasn't even going to think about it. We were at two different places. I was ready to be out and proud and to flaunt my sexuality, not hide it. I had been in the closet far too long and now, what other people would think was more important to Selena than accepting and not being ashamed of how we felt.

I was flooded with hurt and disappointment, then I hardened.

"I need more than that, Selena."

I pulled my hands away and started walking away from her. For a moment, I thought she might reach out and stop me, tell me she'd do anything for me and that she was ready to take on the world with me.

But she didn't and I kept walking, tears biting at my eyes. I thought that everything was going to be perfect, but things had just fallen apart. I fought the urge to run back and hold Selena and tell her I would stay in the closet a little while longer for her, but something made me keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was fear, maybe it was the desire to be able to be myself openly. Maybe it was all three.

As I stood in front of the Mr. Lewis' classroom, I just couldn't bring myself to go in. How could I just sit back down and pretend I was okay and nothing happened?

I slid down to the floor with my back on the wall and squinted as a bright ray of sun shone directly into my eyes.

As I closed my eyes, I wondered if Selena would ever be anything besides my past to me again.

She had given me hope, love, and my first taste of what it really meant to be gay.

A tear escaped my eye as I realized the truth.

They weren't made to last.

Yeah. When I first wrote this, it made me sink into a miserable mood. I almost didn't post it since everyone seemed to love the cuteness but... this make it more real in my opinion.

Review? It's your last chance :(