Hey guys! Uh, let's see...another depressing one shot, yes I can't keep myself away from them! I was looking through my other one shots, and I thought, well you guys really seemed to love "Toy Soldier" then, I just so happened to hear the song "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne, and I couldn't help but write this. To answer your question, it isn't like Toy Soldier, but the same theme. Oh, and I do take a couple of things from the song, but not everything, you shall see what I mean! Please Enjoy "When You're Gone"...
A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY BETA READER-SomeoneNamedLiz
WHEN YOU'RE GONE
I may not get to see you as often as I like, I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart, I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go.
CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE
"How are you doing?" The four words of a frequently asked question that I can never seem to answer truthfully.
How I'm really doing, the way that my heart aches to a point where I want to vomit, the way that I can practically hear the baby inside of my belly crying with me for him, the feeling of loneliness eating away at me constantly but I always seem to choke the words out, "I'm fine."
Deep down, the day where he left me replays in my head every second, of every day...
*FLASHBACK*
"I'll be back soon Clare, I promise, the time will fly by," Eli whispered in my ear, as I clung to his body, not wanting him to let go and get onto the bus that would take him far, far away from me to a place where he could possibly never return.
"It'll be okay Clare, I'll be okay," Eli says, trying to calm me down while rubbing my lower back, attempting to comfort me.
It wasn't working this time.
"This is for us, for the baby," he whispers, getting down on his knees in front of me as I raked my fingers through his hair, watching him gently rub circles over the small, but noticeable bulge through my shirt coming from my stomach.
"I-I'm going to miss you," I said, tears falling from my cheeks onto his face as he slowly stood up, his left hand staying on my stomach and rubbing gentle, smooth circles while the other cupped my cheek.
"There's not a day that will go by, that I won't miss you Clare," he whispered, placing a small, gentle kiss on the corner of my lips before pulling away, our foreheads touching as he mumbled, "It's time for me to go."
"N-No, n-not yet, you still have one minute," I whimpered in his grip, quickly wrapping my arms around him again before he could even think about leaving the front porch of our house.
"Clare, I have to go," he said calmly, the tone of his voice gentle, but stern.
I nodded frantically, biting back my bottom lip, trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to rip through my mouth. I watched as he smirked, placing his hat over his head to complete his uniform.
"I'll be back Clare, I promise," Eli whispered, kissing my lips briefly before letting go of my hands, as they dropped to my sides. My heart sunk into my stomach, watching my husband, the love of my life, take a long, antagonizing walk up and onto the bus that would take him away from me.
I raised my head slowly, waving to him as he smirked through the window, mouthing, "I love you."
*FLASHBACK ENDS*
As I lay here now, on our bed, I flip through the channels of our television in hopes of a distraction.
My heart sinks into my stomach as I glance next to me, looking at the perfectly made bed. No one has slept beside me in seven months; this left side of the bed has been empty for the most part, except for the times that I've cried on that side.
I slowly move my hand over the blanket, breathing in Eli's side of the bed, in hopes that it'll smell exactly like him. But, it's too late; it's been too long for the scent to remain in its rightful place.
"Clare!" I heard my brother call out from downstairs, "Clare! Where are you?"
My feet slowly moved over the bed to get to the edge of it, as Drew came running into the room like a nervous wreck, like he always does when he comes by. Whenever I don't answer him soon enough, he assumes that I'm having the baby alone and I'm in strenuous pain.
"I was calling your name Clare, learn to answer me," he ordered as I nodded, "I'll remember that when I'm actually having the baby, Drew, relax, you're worse than...you're worse than Eli over his letters."
"What do you expect from him Clare? He needs to know that you're okay and there's someone that's around to take you to the hospital, if that moment ever comes," Drew smiled, pulling me into a hug as I hissed, "Easy Drew, my back is killing me."
"What do you think it is?" He asked as I forced a smile, "Maybe it's the fact that I have a human growing inside of me and at the moment, that won't stop kicking."
Drew smiled and our grin's both faded, when an emergency broadcast was being shown on the television.
"No! Stop!" I screamed, fighting over Drew for the remote as he shook his head, holding it above me until I tried reaching for it but couldn't grab it, until I punched him in the ribs. He then caved as I watched the volume on the TV rising.
"Oh my god," I covered my mouth, almost dropping to the floor, if Drew hadn't caught me.
"There's been a major explosion in Afghanistan, it is said that a whole campus of Canadian men were blown up and the names will be released to the families within a couple of days. But for now, we do have some footage on the bombing," I shook my head as Drew embraced me into a tight hug, even though I didn't want to be comforted by him, I wanted to be comforted by my husband, my Eli.
Tears streamed down my face, my heart racing in fear of the thought of losing Eli just a month before he was supposed to come home.
"It's alright, he's probably fine," Drew said in a frantic, but calm tone to try to keep me calm, but we both knew that wasn't going to work out very well. My heart continued to race, my stomach feeling as if there was a gaping hole between my chest and my hipbones.
"I-I can't breathe D-Drew, I-I can't-," I fought to try to find ways to breathe, but nothing seemed to work.
My eyes glared at the television, only making matters worse as the shaky camera was filmed by a most likely, fellow soldier. I gulped, listening to the explosion through the television, the scene going black as the explosion echoed through my ears and Drew placed both of his hands on the sides of my face, "C-Clare, I'm right here, keep looking at me, keep breathing, come on!"
I shook my head, but my lungs seemed as if they weren't connected to my nose to breathe, as Drew panicked, searching for a phone to call 911. My eyelids began to grow heavy, my body giving out on me and the last thing I thought before the darkness took over me, was if Eli was okay...
DREW'S PERSPECTIVE
"She saw the breaking news and just started panicking, I didn't know what to do-," I told the Doctor as he smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder, "She's fine son, she just worked herself up too much. If you need to, then you'll have to keep her away from the TV and any news about her husband or the War. I'm sorry, but it's for her own good."
"Okay, I will," I whispered, then asked, before he could walk away, "Is the baby okay?"
"Healthy as a horse, she must be doing a really great job at eating healthy and exercising," I smiled, knowing that Clare walks everyday around the neighborhood, and eats healthier than I did during my training in high school.
"I hope everything works out for her and her husband," he told me as I glanced over at Clare, who was sleeping soundlessly with her heart monitor beeping steadily before me.
I smiled, tears falling down my face, looking at our interlocked hands as I stroked my fingers through her hair, "Oh god Clare...you're such a worry wort. I-I know you probably can't hear me with all the medication you're on, b-but Eli's okay...I'm sure he is, he has to be."
My heart raced as I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, and I smiled, glancing down at the messengers name and the message that went along with it...
CLARE'S PERSPECTIVE
"Eli..." I moaned his name out loud, whimpering in slight pain as I coughed, opening my heavy eyelids.
I smiled lightly, seeing my hand interlocked with Drew's as he grinned, tears forming in his eyes as he said, "Y-you're finally awake." I glanced around my surroundings, realizing I was in a hospital room, hooked up to an I.V. and heart monitor.
"H-How long was I out?" I asked as Drew smiled, "Only about two hours, but if I do say so myself, it was the longest two hours I've ever sat through."
I laughed, "Y-You're so impatient Drew."
Just as I finally gained my knowledge back, my heart monitor started beeping loudly as I asked, "I-Is the baby okay? W-Where's Eli? D-Did you get any messages from him? Do you know-," Drew cut me off, "Clare, the baby is fine."
"W-What about Eli? Where is he? Did he call, message, email? Anything?" I asked, as Drew smiled, shaking his head, "T-That isn't good Drew, why are you smiling? He could be dead!"
He laughed at me as tears flowed down my cheeks, "I think we have something better than a call or a text or a bbm or...an email," he joked, walking out of the room and disappearing before my eyes.
Less than one minute later, Drew smiled, walking in with an apple laptop in his hand.
"W-What are you doing? Did you steal that? Drew, I can't afford to get you out of jail right now and I have more important things to worry-," I stopped mid outburst, when Drew turned the laptop screen to face me, and I saw Eli, a smirk on his face.
"H-He's okay?" I asked, tears streaming down my face as Drew nodded, "He's alive Clare, he's alive."
Eli covered his mouth on the screen, and I could see his tears, as he placed his hand on the screen, "O-oh god Clare, what have you done?" I smiled, tears falling to my lips, getting all caught up as Drew mumbled, "I'll leave you two love birds alone to fly."
"Shut up," I whispered as Eli asked, "Me?"
I shook my head, slowly sitting up in hospital bed as Drew rested the laptop on my lap and I whimpered, "N-No Eli, y-you keep talking...it was just Drew."
"I know what happened Clare; I was on this laptop for the past two hours with Drew. You have to stop worrying about me Clare, you c-could've lost the baby and I-I could've lost the both of you," he whispered as I watched him shift on his cot and I said, "I thought you were dead Eli, what was I supposed to do, remain calm?"
"Yes Clare, you have a baby to worry about, don't worry about me...you know I'll always be okay," he said, shifting in his bed as I smiled, "I-I'm just so happy you're okay."
Tears ran down Eli's face as he said, "W-When Drew started off the conversation by telling me you were in the hospital I was so close to suiting up and running my way back to you."
I laughed, "You would do that?"
"Me, Elijah Goldsworthy not run to the love of my life when she's in danger? Yeah, you're right, doesn't sound like an Eli thing to do...," he joked, as I grinned, "I can't believe you're cracking jokes with me when a whole army camp was blown up today and one of those men could've been you."
"It could've been Clare, but it wasn't," he whispered, and then continued, "I would fight my way through fire to get back to you Clare, no explosion or bullet will kill me as long as you're alive."
"I miss you so much," I whispered placing a hand on the screen, trying to be able to feel his hand that was also on the screen, but the tears streamed down my face quicker when we couldn't feel each other.
"Oh crap, I-I have to go..." he said, rushing away as I gasped, "Wait!"
"Clare, I have to go, I love you and I love our baby," he said, as I then asked quickly, "W-where are you going? Was there another explosion or-." My eyes searched frantically on the screen, wishing to see Eli, but it seemed as if he was already gone.
I didn't get to say I love him too...
My eyes lit up, seeing Eli again, as I asked, "W-Where are you going? What's going on?"
"I have a place to be Clare, I have to go," he said firmly, but a hint of happiness in his voice as I asked, "W-Where? Are they transferring you somewhere else now because I need the address to send you letters?"
He scoffed, saying, "You don't have to send me letters at this place."
"But I have to hear from you somehow Eli!" I said, because he wasn't making any sense, how the hell was I supposed to keep in contact with him if he wouldn't give me a frickin' destination?
"Here's the place, you got a pen and a paper?" He asked, as I glanced around me, seeing a post it sticking to my heart monitor and I ripped it off, grabbing a pen that was lying on the table beside me.
I smiled, "Got it, start talking."
"Okay, it's..." my heart stopped, listening to him read off our address.
I glanced up at him, "E-Eli, this is our address, you know that right? You don't live-."
Eli cut me off, smiling, placing his hat over his head, as my heart filled with warmth when he whispered, "That's right Clare, it is our address...I'm coming home."
END OF WHEN YOU'RE GONE
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Love you guys,
Cliffhanger Girl
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