Why she ran straight for the TARDIS she didn't know, but it was the only place that felt like home any more. She knew he would come running after her, knew he would look in the TARDIS first and find her straight away, but Rose felt so drawn to the welcoming doors of her beloved blue box that she couldn't help but run inside to her room to curl up on her bed. The bedclothes were warm and her pillows smelled like him – him the way she'd known him before he'd gone and done this stupid thing – and she buried her face in one and began to cry.
She couldn't begin to put into words what she was feeling; all she knew was that it was too much for her to bear without tears, and she couldn't spend another second looking at him the way he was now in the flat; broken and tired, the light gone from his eyes. After the first wave of sobs began to subside, she rolled over to the edge of her bed and looked at the picture on her nightstand. It was of the two of them, taken long before Zatharenafolconorrae. There were places in touristy parts of London where you could dress in Victorian clothes and have a sepia-toned picture taken for a lark, but this was an honest-to-goodness old fashioned, hand-tinted photo of the two of them together, taken in the real 1915. Rose had on a beaded blue dress with an empire waist, her hair in a gravity-defying pile at the back of her head as she sat on a flowered settee, looking dreamily towards the window. The Doctor was in a smart Edwardian suit, complete with snazzy bow tie, and he was standing behind her, looking quite serious, one hand resting on her shoulder. She had put her hand over his at the last second, scandalizing the photographer but giving Rose her most favorite picture of all time.
Even with the falsely stern expression on his face, there was a wicked shine to his eyes that she lived to see. When she saw that gleam in his eyes, she knew trouble was coming, and that meant that everything was all right. If she were being honest with herself, she hadn't seen that gleam in weeks.
And now he'd gone and done this to himself. She clutched the photo to her chest and cried even harder. So hard, in fact, that she didn't realize the Doctor had come not only into the TARDIS but also into her room until she felt his weight on the mattress and his hand on her back.
"Rose," he sang, rubbing little circles on her back as she rocked with sobs. "Please don't cry. I'm still the same. Still me. Just…human."
"You could have told me," she gasped. "You could have said something, so we could have talked about it."
"I didn't want you to try to tell me no," he said.
"Why did you do it?" she wailed, curling up to rest her head in his lap. He still smelled the same, and his hand felt the same on her back as it ever had, except for being warmer than she was used to. She couldn't get the echo of his tormented screaming out of her head. He said he'd lost consciousness after the first ten minutes or so, and according to her mother it had gone on for nearly an hour. There was absolutely no way on the face of the Earth that he would have done that just for her. She couldn't wrap her mind around the scope of something like that. Somehow it would have been easier to accept if he had simply given his life for her – a split-second decision to step in front of a bullet or drink a draught of poison meant for her. But for him to consciously walk into the TARDIS and calmly trade in his entire existence for another one just for her was entirely too much to even think about, let alone accept.
He sighed and switched from her back to her hair. "You'd think I was barmy if I told you."
"I already think that," Rose said. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. "Please tell me."
"Because some day there isn't going to be any more Rose Tyler, but there would still be me. And I've already lost everything that I can bear to lose in this existence. You are the last of everything that has ever mattered to me, and when you go, there will be nothing left. The last adventure I ever want to have is the one we'll have together. If you'll have me, now that I'm nothing special."
Rose turned so she was looking up at him. "Of course I'll have you. My Doctor." She reached up and put her hand on his face. His cheeks were flushed and the tears in his eyes spilled warmly onto her fingertips. His eyes were tight and heavy-lidded and his breathing was slow and somewhat labored. Exhausted, having just ripped himself apart and put himself back together as a new species, and yet here he was, consoling her. Putting her first.
"I'll always belong to you," he said, turning so he could kiss her fingers. "Can you answer me one question, though?"
She sniffed again. "Yeah."
"Are you upset because I'm human now, or are you upset because I did it without talking to you first? Because I'm beginning to worry that you don't want me now that I'm human."
"Oh!" she cried, sitting up so she could look deeply into his tired eyes. "I'm upset because you didn't tell me. Of course I want you. I love you! But you can't do this to me. If we're gonna be together, you can't make huge decisions without talking to me about it first."
He nodded. "I apologize. I don't apologize for doing what I did, but I apologize for not…talking to you first. It's going to be hard to get used to, that. But I will do my best from here out. You have to understand that I've been human for all of an hour and fifteen minutes, and I'm bound to make a few more mistakes before I'm as good at being a human as I was at being a Time Lord. And if my track record as a Time Lord says anything about what kind of man I'll be once I get this down, I am going to be a brilliant human."
"With the ego of an ancient alien," she said with a sigh. "This is gonna be very interesting."
"Would it be possible for us to get some sleep now? I can honestly say I've never been this tired in my life." He yawned again. "That is so weird – it just sort of happens, doesn't it? That may be the hardest thing to get used to."
"Come here," Rose said. "There's only one thing that will make it stop." She pulled him down to the bed to lie beside her. He snuggled up next to her as tightly as he could and he was asleep within minutes. Rose kissed his cheek and settled her head down on his shoulder and followed shortly afterward.
Jackie had helped the Doctor down the stairs and into the TARDIS. Now she had been waiting nearly an hour in the control room for them to come out again. She was sitting in the jump seat when she saw a little table nearby that she swore had not been there before. There was a glass of wine and a few pieces of Milk Tray on a little plate beside the glass.
"That for me?" Jackie asked the emptiness. She looked around for the Doctor or Rose, but they were still in Rose's room. She shrugged and hopped off the seat, helping herself to the candy – all her favorites, mind – and the wine. When she'd finished, the lights in the control room dimmed and the lights in the hallway grew brighter by fractions until Jackie went down the hallway, following the lights until they led her to a room at the end of the hallway. The door slid open and Jackie gasped at the sight of a sprawling sunken bathtub filled with suds. A towel, dressing gown and pyjamas were laid out on a bench near the tub, with another glass of wine sitting near the water's edge. Rose had mentioned that sometimes the TARDIS did things for the passengers on the ship, but Jackie hadn't understood what her daughter had meant until now.
Jackie looked at the ceiling. "You thanking me for sitting with him?" she asked. The lights in the bathroom dimmed and Il Divo began playing softly over the speakers.
She grinned. "I guess you are." She didn't waste time getting into the tub and was thrilled to find that there were little jets of water under the surface. She closed her eyes and put her head back and had a nice, lovely soak. The water, she noticed, never cooled to an uncomfortable temperature like it did when she took a bath in the flat, and when she was done she followed the lights to another room on the ship with an enormous bed and very soft sheets. Il Divo followed her down the hallway and she fell asleep feeling very much like she imagined the Queen felt every night when she went to bed.
The next morning Rose woke to find the Doctor lying on his side, head propped up on one hand, smiling down at her. His eyes looked as bright as they always had, and for a moment she'd forgotten what had happened the night before.
"Hello," he said. The lingering rawness in his throat reminded her well enough.
"How did you sleep?" she asked, stretching.
"Hard," he answered. "Like a regular person, I believe. No wonder you do it so much." He leaned forward and gave her a kiss.
She smiled into the kiss. "Good morning. So, today we start a whole new adventure."
"Not just yet," he said. "There's one more thing that has to get taken care of first." He held up one finger and climbed out of bed and, after a long stretch and another yawn that made him laugh with exasperation at himself, he dashed out of the bedroom and into the hallway. He came back several minutes later, looking a little less enthusiastic than he had when he'd left.
"What's the matter?" Rose asked, sitting up.
He screwed up his face and leaned against her wall. "Seems life as a human is going to be very interesting. I can't remember how to fly the TARDIS, and your mother is sleeping in a spare room at the other end of the hall."
"What?" Rose cried, getting all the way out of bed.
"I know!" he said, crossing his arms. "Who invited her? I hope she doesn't think this means she can move in here with us."
"Why can't you fly the TARDIS?" she asked.
He shrugged casually, but she could see the tightness in his eyes. "Probably just partial amnesia as a result of the biological rewriting process. Should come back eventually. That changes my plans considerably, but we'll make do."
"What plans?"
"Well," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I wanted to take you somewhere prettier than the alley behind the Powell Estate. Is there a park around here? Somewhere picturesque?"
"In this part of London?" Rose asked with a laugh. "I don't think so."
He nodded, eyeing her. "All right, then. Come with me, Rose Tyler." He offered her his arm and she took it, letting him lead her into the bowels of the ship until they came to a hallway she had never seen before.
He looked behind them. "Hope I remember the way back," he said with a nervous chuckle, then led her on down the hallway and into a huge room that was white from floor to ceiling except for a tiny computer on a kiosk in the middle of the room. He grinned at her and went to the kiosk and began typing furiously, scowling at the little screen. After a while the kiosk descended into the floor and he ran back to grab her by the hand.
"Watch this," he whispered, nudging her. He giggled, looking around the room with anticipation. A moment later Rose saw little lights beginning to flicker up near the ceiling. She watched as a glittering cascade of particles began to shower down along the walls. Wherever the particles went turned from blank white to sky and trees and plants and terrain until the particles made their way to the floor, spreading beneat them and Rose felt actual grass under her feet. When the particles reached the kiosk, she could smell the apple grass and feel the warmth of the double suns overhead.
"It's New Earth!" Rose cried, spinning around with her arms out wide. "How did you do that?"
"Superlative hologram generator," the Doctor answered. "Drains the TARDIS power in huge gulps, but it's so worth it right now."
"What are we doing?" Rose asked. The Doctor offered her his hand and she took it. He led her to a spot by the edge of the hologram river and she was surprised to find that she could sit on the hologram rocks.
"Just about perfect," he said, looking around. "Only better thing would have been the actual planet, but as I can't remember how to pilot my ship right now, this will do nicely. Shift." She scooted over on the rock so he could sit beside her. They took in the artificial surroundings for a while, holding hands, Rose resting her head on his shoulder.
"I'm at quite a loss," he said after some time. "I know how to do everything, but when it comes to an everyday existence, I don't know how to do anything. I haven't the faintest idea about an actual job, or paying the rent on time, or knowing when to change the water in the goldfish bowl, or any of that. It's kind of an exciting proposition, when you think of it. Nine hundred years old and I've never done a load of laundry. But I'm not the least bit afraid of it. Know why?"
Rose narrowed her eyes, smiling. "Because I'm gonna end up doing all the laundry?" she asked.
"Well," he said, looking away. "I wasn't going to suggest it, but as long as you have."
She laughed and slapped him on the arm. "I never said that."
"You never said you'd marry me, either," he said, locking eyes with her, suddenly quite serious.
Rose nearly fell backwards off the imaginary rock. "What?"
He frowned. "Ever since I turned human, which admittedly wasn't that long ago, you have this thing for asking me to repeat myself. What is that about, anyway?"
"Just this one last thing, please," Rose said. "If you could just repeat what you just said."
"Hold on," he said, digging into his pocket. Rose's heart skipped a beat until she saw he was pulling out the sonic screwdriver. He pointed it at the ceiling and day suddenly turned to a gorgeous, moonlit twilight, complete with the gentle chirring of crickets in the distance. He looked around and nodded his satisfaction. "Much better. That's what was missing." He hopped off the rock, put the sonic in his pocket and knelt in the apple grass, taking hold of her hands. She started to cry.
"On Gallifrey, we had all sorts of courtship rituals; genetic compatibility matrices, endurance challenges, traversing the Wastes together with one pouch of water and a single pillow. I like Earth's way much better. Far more direct." He reached into his other pocket and pulled out the velvet box. Rose's eyes widened and her hands began to shake. "I can't live another day as a human not knowing if you'll be there with me for the rest of our lives. So, Rose Marion Tyler, will you marry me?"
"Yes!" She cried, jumping off the rock that wasn't there to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him hard on the lips. They fell back into the apple grass, laughing and kissing each other until the fake moon began to flicker and he had to shut off the hologram. Then, they went on kissing for quite a while longer.