A/N Thanks to my fabulous reviewers. And thanks for sticking with this now very AU story.
Blair awoke to knocking at her bedroom door.
"Blair?" Louis' worried tones reached her clearly. "Dorota insists you're in there. Are you sick? I want to see you, let me in. I'm concerned for you. You didn't answer my calls last night."
Blair rolled over, realising she was still lying on her coverlet. She had fallen asleep in the midst of reading the Dan's book for the second time. She still held it tightly in her hands.
She collected her thoughts. "Louis? I'm sorry! I've been unwell. I only just woke up."
"My darling, I'm sorry to wake you. Are you ok?"
She tried to put a smile in her voice. "I'm fine…now."
She pulled herself off the bed and looked at herself in the mirror. Her makeup from the day before was smeared and her slept-in clothes were crumpled. Mascara trailed down her cheeks, even though she didn't remember the tears. How could he put that in a book? The manipulative creep!
"Blair?"
She forced herself to answer him breezily. "Louis, let me have a shower and I'll meet you downstairs in a minute."
"Come on, Blair. Let me in!"
"No! I need to make myself beautiful."
"Blair, how many times have I seen you first thing in the morning. You are always beautiful."
Blair looked again at herself in the mirror. Dan wants to ruin me. "No, I'm not."
"What did you say, darling? I can't hear you. Why are we talking through this door?"
"It's not important, Louis. Please. Meet me downstairs."
Blair heard Louis' reluctant footsteps fade away.
Half an hour later, Blair surveyed herself in the mirror. She applied another coat of lip-gloss, hoping it would detract from the shadows under her eyes.
Ok. Talk to Louis. Call Serena. Call the lawyers. Blair's thought process stalled. Then what?
She flinched and dropped her lip-gloss at the sound of renewed knocking at her door. "Blair? I have to go now. I only dropped through on my way to the consulate because I was worried about you. Meet me for lunch?"
She opened the door before he could knock again. "Lunch? That would be ideal, Louis. I need to talk to you. Can we make it private?"
"Of course, darling. I would love to be private with you."
"No, seriously, Louis. We have to talk."
He looked perplexed. "Ok. Come to the consulate. We have a private dining room there."
She gave him a weak smile as she accompanied him down the stairs. "Thank you, Louis. You're too good to me."
"No, it is you who is too good for me." Blair closed her eyes and averted her face as he leaned into kiss her. As he pulled back, she saw bewilderment clearly cross his features.
"Blair, I can cancel my meeting. What is wrong? Can we talk now?"
"No!" I need time to work out what I'm going to say to you! "No, Louis, it can wait. I'll be at the embassy by one o'clock."
She lifted her face for a kiss, feeling like Judas.
The elevator doors closed behind him. Blair sighed and headed toward the kitchen. What am I going to say to him? I can't tell him the truth. And now to call Serena! Oh, God.
Blair was just removing the kettle from the hob when Serena stalked in, still clad in her dressing gown.
"S! I was just about to call you." Blair smiled at her friend and moved across to hug her. "I didn't realise you were here!"
Serena received the hug stiffly. "I waited for you last night. I don't believe you were sick. Blair, did you sleep with him?"
"Who?"
"Well, not Louis, obviously. How many men are you sleeping with? I mean Dan!"
Blair took a breath and let it out slowly. She focused her attention on the water she was pouring into the teapot. "He told you. I won't lie to you, Serena. I did. It was a mistake, and I regret it, but it happened."
"Did it happen the way it happened in the book?"
Blair turned to face Serena. "What? No! He told you that too?"
"No. But I have my ways. I can't believe Dan lied to me. He nearly had me convinced."
"What do you mean?"
"He said you and he never slept together!"
"Well, technically we slept together a number of times, but we only ever had sex once."
"And he put it in a book!"
"No, he didn't, S. He put me sleeping with Chuck and nearly leaving Louis for him in a book."
Serena looked stunned. "You slept with Chuck too?"
"Yes! I'm a horrible cheater. Judge away."
Serena rolled her eyes. "This is crazy, B. This isn't you. What are you going to do? It's pretty fucked up!"
"I know! I have to break up with Louis, before I ruin him and then… then I'm leaving New York immediately. I don't know where." Blair looked distressed. "It can't be Paris because the paparazzi..."
"And Dan?"
"I'm calling my lawyers to stop this book."
"I think Dan is already planning that, but he's stalling so he can speak to you."
"He can wait forever for all I care. He used me, and you, and everyone else he knows, as literary fodder. He's put every single thing I've done for the past 5 years in a book. Things even Gossip Girl never found out."
"But, Blair, you don't look bad. Your Sophie is far more likable than my Angela. He's made me look like an idiot."
"But Angela isn't you, Serena." Blair put her hand up as Serena began to contradict her. "Yes, she looks like you, but anyone who reads it, and knows you, knows you truly aren't that superficial! He's put me in a book, Serena. All of me. And I hate it. I hate my story. And I hate him!"
"But you can rise above it, Blair. You can still marry Louis and leave all of this Gossip Girl rubbish behind you. Do you really think anyone can touch you, once you're the princess of Monaco? Look what Princess Stephanie gets up to!"
"She's a princess by birth, Serena. It doesn't matter how many circus performers she marries. My situation is a little different and if anyone reads that book and puts two and two together… I'll be a pariah! I'm tarnished, Serena, I'm repulsive. And I can't be with Louis anymore."
"It's a book, Blair."
"Are you slow, Serena? You've read the thing!"
"I've only read a sample. I didn't have the whole book, only a few chapters."
"Well believe me! Dan put my entire adult life into it. There are things I can't live down. Time will not heal all wounds!"
'And what about Dan?"
"What about Dan? He can go and find someone else to write ruinous novels about!"
"Blair, listen to me. I think he's in love with you. Were you just using him?"
"Serena. He's not in love with me. And he's the one who's been using us all! Whatever he said to you; he's just trying to cover his tracks. And now I need to call my lawyers to get this book stopped!"
Blair stormed from the kitchen, leaving Serena feeling more conflicted than she thought possible.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Dan awoke to the familiar sight of his coffee table. He felt unwashed and gritty. He had fallen asleep holding his phone and it was still gripped tightly in his sweaty palm.
Four messages.
Rufus.
Nate.
Two from Serena.
Nothing from Blair.
Dan deleted the messages without opening them.
He sighed heavily, collapsing back into the Dan shaped dent in his sofa. She can have until the end of the day and then I'm calling the publishers. Hope that she would contact him was fading with every passing moment.
Misery descended upon him. He wondered how the hell he was going to concentrate on the paper he had due the following day. At least he could stay holed up in the loft. He had no classes that day. Blair would know where to find him. If she was looking for him at all.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Blair found herself at the reception for the Consulate General of Monaco, on 5th Avenue, at 12:55. Panic kept threatening to surface but she managed to smile gracefully at the receptionist. "I'm meeting Louis Grimaldi for lunch?"
The receptionist smiled back at her." Of course, Ms Waldorf. Security will escort you."
The black clad guards walked either side of her. She wished she could be anywhere else but where she was at that exact moment. She had intended to call her lawyers before meeting Louis, but decided to leave it until after. She could kill two birds with one stone then and tell them to cancel the prenuptial arrangements they were in the midst of planning and focus their energies on suing the publishing house…and Dan…to prevent publication.
Louis was waiting for her, holding a large bunch of peonies. He looked tired and a little stressed. Blair felt her heart sink a little more, thinking about what she was about to do to him. He had been so good to her. And she had treated him like dirt. Do I have to tell him everything? Blair felt her courage quail further.
He stood up and walked over to kiss her hello but she put her hand up to stop him. He saw she had removed her engagement ring.
He seized her hand between his own. "Blair? Does this mean?"
She let out a pent up breath. "Yes. Louis, I'm sorry. I can't go through with this any more."
"But…why? I thought we had been so happy?"
"Louis, you will make some girl very happy one day. But I'm not that girl." She lowered her head as a tear began to make its way down her cheek. "I can't marry you."
He continued to hold her hand. "I suspected this would happen, cherie. I think, perhaps, it is why I wanted to marry you so quickly. So that you wouldn't have time to change your mind."
She forced herself to raise her head and meet Louis' eyes. "I don't think it ever would have worked out in the long run between us, Louis. I think… I think I would have destroyed you. I am truly not good enough for you."
"Blair, it is not so. You are an angel, worthy of anyone."
"You are sweet to me, Louis, but it's not true. I have to tell you something." Blair felt her head spin with the weight of what she was about to tell him. "This will probably make you hate me, but I have to be honest with you..."
Louis cocked his head to the side and waited silently while Blair faltered in her speech. "…I cheated on you, Louis. Not once, but twice. I thought I could pretend it never happened but…I…and I did for a while. But it's turning me into a beast!"
"Oh…"
"You see Louis. I'm bad for you. I don't know what I'm capable of doing and I don't know who I am! I hate the person I'm becoming and I…" She reached into the pocket of her purse and retrieved the priceless heirloom engagement ring he had given her those months ago.
"Now you're free. Find some other girl who deserves this, Louis." She held the ring in the palm of her hand, thrusting it toward Louis.
He kept his hands behind his back. "Blair, this is my fault. I should never have left you alone. If you regret this…maybe…we could try to work through this."
Blair shook her head. "Louis, thank you. But don't tell me you could ever trust me again…when I can't trust myself." She placed the ring on the dining table and clutched her handbag closer.
He looked pained but forced himself to speak. "Who…who was it? Chuck?"
"Yes…and then Dan…"
"And Dan…I see." He looked stunned.
"I told you Louis. I'm bad for you." Tears began to stream down her face. "Just think what a lucky escape you made." With her parting words still on her lips, Blair turned and fled.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Dan sat up at the sound of the door but before he had time to stand and open it, Blair burst through. She marched to the sofa, looming over him.
"I was going to leave the city and never talk to you again. But, you win. Humphrey."
"Blair!… I'm glad you came."
She held the copy of Inside he had sent her aloft. Brandishing it in his face. "Are you trying to destroy me, Humphrey? Is this some kind of sick joke?"
Dan stood up in a hurry. "No! No…I knew you'd think that…that's why I sent it to you, before it came out."
"How could you put that into a book?"
"Blair, it's physically impossible for me to have put that into a book. It happened a week ago."
"I don't mean that. I mean Chuck!"
Dan looked mystified. "I don't know what you're talking about?"
"That I would have left Louis…or Henri as you call him…to be with Chuck but he said no, that I should live my fairytale. How did you find out? I bet that Basstard told you. No one else knew!"
"Blair, I don't understand."
"When I slept with Chuck!"
"You slept with Chuck?" Dan's face sagged and he sat back heavily on the sofa.
"You knew that! You put it in your book! You're as bad as him."
"Blair… I swear…I didn't. This is pure mischance."
"I don't believe you, Humphrey! It cannot be a coincidence."
Dan stood up again. "It is, Blair! Clearly the muses are having a laugh at our expense. I never wrote this book to hurt you!"
"Well, it has. You'll be hearing from my lawyers."
"I can get it cancelled. I just wanted to talk to you before I did…"
"You'll still be hearing from my lawyers. I'm not a literary device, Humphrey! You put my life in those pages!"
"People don't know the real you. They don't know what is real."
"But it's still my story. It's about me! You say I'm not second to Serena? Yeah, I can see that. You've never tried to ruin her life!" Blair rushed at him, hands open read to slap. He cringed away from her glancing blows. "You make me so furious! Do you think I wanted to be sensationalised in some appalling serial?"
Dan felt anger begin to flare inside him. " Blair, you're not listening to me. Will you give me a fucking chance?"
"No! You've had all the chances you're getting Humphrey. I never want to see you again!"
"Blair, stop this! You're allowing this to happen to you. What I prophesied in the book, when Sophie married Henri. Becoming an exaggerated version of an Upper East Side bitch. Do you really want to be your mother, Blair?"
Blair gave a howl of rage. "I'm not…and never will be my mother." She seized hold of Dan's hair and gave it a furious tug. He gasped in pain and grasped her wrist, trying to pull her hand free. They both tumbled to the floor in chaotic motion; Dan banging his head on the hard tiles. He lay dazed as Blair wrestled with him. He still held her wrist and tried, unsuccessfully, to prevent Blair from ripping out handfuls of his hair.
It was over quickly. Blair gasped and stopped moving, her laboured breathing turning to sobs. Dan could feel her body shaking against his. He instantly released her hand and wrapped his arms around her, holding her head against his chest.
"Shhhh, Blair, it's ok. You don't need to cry."
"I've left Louis. Your book has ruined my life. You've ruined my life!"
Her tears soaked through his shirt.
"Blair…it's ok. Everything is gonna be ok! Just trust me."
She tore herself from him, pushing his hands violently away. "No. It won't be ok, Humphrey. It's going to be a nightmare."
She stood up from the floor and stepped over his prone body on her way to the door. She slammed it behind her as Dan picked himself up, rubbing his head. He immediately pulled the door open and pursued her down the stairs.
He found her on the street, getting into her town car. He stood barefoot on the sidewalk, pleading with her. "Blair! You're not giving me a chance to explain!"
"You're not getting anything from me. Ever again. Stay away from me, Humphrey."
The black car pulled into the traffic and it was gone.