A/N's I wanted to update fast because I didn't want to leave anyone in the midst of Blair's meltdown for too long. Work still got in the way. Sorry about that.

I really don't own these characters. They do and say all sorts of things I never intended them to. And they are making this story far longer than it was ever meant to be. Thanks for sticking with them. And thanks, as always, to my wonderful reviewers!

Dan had run back up the stairs and was frantically searching the loft for shoes. He hadn't left the loft in a few days and a boot had gone completely missing in the debris that had accumulated. He had to go after Blair. But being shoeless wouldn't really help his cause.

He was on the floor, reaching under the sofa, when a familiar voice startled him.

"Hello? Dan?"

He stood up warily. "Serena. I don't have the time right now. I've got to go and try to talk to Blair. She thinks the very worst of me. You should go."

She placed her handbag on the kitchen bench and perched on a stool, blatantly disregarding his words. "You can try, but I'm not sure I'd bother if I were you. You've got no chance of even getting past her doorman…or Dorota. Blair even made Dorota give the doorman a photo of you, to make sure he didn't let you in. He said he already knew very well who you were."

Dan dropped his shoe to the floor. "She has to come out sometime, doesn't she?"

"Not really. We both know how stubborn Blair can be." She hesitated, looking questioningly across the room at him. "I didn't just come here to tell you that. Dan, I want to read the rest of the novel. You have to admit you owe it to me. I attempted to steal Blair's copy, but she's carrying it with her everywhere."

Dan crossed his arms across his chest. "Uh…that was my only copy."

"I don't believe that. You must have it on file somewhere, if I know you at all."

Dan grunted noncommittally.

"Look, Dan, I promise not to judge."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

"Or be angry. I think I know the worst of it already. It's just that Blair has gone entirely off the deep end and I can't get through to her. Maybe this will help."

"It's a bad idea, Serena. I've already called Lily's lawyers and they're assembling the case against Vanessa. I really think it would be for the best if no one else ever read this. As soon as it's all over, I'm going to delete the fucking thing."

"You do what you need to do, but if you let me read it, I promise I'll try to help you speak to Blair. You've got no other option at the moment. She's in complete lock down."

Dan wavered.

"Come on, Dan. You know the parts I've read, just let me read the other chapters!"

"Ok…Ok, Serena. I swear you could make me do anything." He walked across the room to claim his laptop, roughly setting it down on the bench.

Serena smiled. "Manipulating you is like child's play, Dan."

"Don't push it. I have no idea why I'm doing this."

"You know exactly why you're doing this. To see Blair."

Dan found the file and opened it, pushing the laptop across to Serena.

"There. You can find the stuff you haven't read. Just promise not physically attack me."

Serena raised her eyebrows. "Blair attacked you?"

"Violently. I'm surprised I still have a hair on my head." He ran his fingers through it, disordering his curls further, as if assuring himself they were still there. "What is she doing? She told me nothing, except she'd ended it with Louis."

"I have no idea. When I last saw her, she said she was packing for Switzerland. But I haven't seen her come out of her room since. She won't talk to me."

"Has she seen anyone? What about Chuck?"

"I don't know, Dan, but I doubt it." She gave him a pointed look. "Now let me read this. It's going to take a while and the longer it takes, the longer you're going to have to wait."

Serena settled into the novel and Dan, finding himself at a loss, lay on the sofa again.

It took a few hours for her to pick through the chapters and she found herself rereading parts she had previously read, engrossed in the narrative. She sat silently for a spell after she finished the final chapter, looking over at Dan who was lying on the sofa with his eyes shut. His restlessness told her he wasn't asleep.

"Dan? I'm done. Thankyou…I think."

He opened his eyes immediately and looked at her searchingly.

Serena returned his gaze guardedly. "I need to ask you why you wrote this. I believe you when you say that it's being published against your will but…why…where did this come from?"

Dan moved on the sofa so Serena couldn't see his face. "I wrote it in the fall. After I kissed her. I mean, I had written parts of it before. But after we kissed, I looked back through my old journals and found I'd written more about her than I remembered. I had written about every encounter I had with her since I met her. I wrote character studies of everyone I met, but hers was the one that I changed constantly."

He sat up, placing his head into his palms. "It just turned into a novel. But I didn't write it to expose her and I didn't just carelessly use you all for some literary exercise. I wrote it because I knew I couldn't have her. I wrote for me, for some kind of closure."

An array of emotions flitted across Serena's face before she could bring herself to speak. "I'm not sure if I'm the right person to be hearing this, Dan. But I did ask you and I guess I have to respect your honesty. I get it, though. You fell in love with her but you didn't fight for her. Did you ever tell her how you felt?"

"Not in so few words. I gave her the book, didn't I? I thought it would be pretty clear."

"To anyone else, Dan, yes. But there's something that really bothers her about it. I've never seen her hate anyone as much as she hates you at the moment. Not even Chuck…or me."

Dan winced.

"Don't take that too much to heart, Dan." Serena shot him a cautious half smile. "Blair hating someone is usually tantamount to her loving them. If she wasn't feeling something, she'd just despise you."

Dan smiled ruefully back at her, in spite of himself. "I hope you're trying to make me feel better. I'm pretty sure, though, she just out and out hates me."

Serena shook her head but said nothing.

Dan moved over to where she was sitting. "Serena, I've got to say I'm surprised. I never expected you to take it this so well. My feelings for Blair, I mean. And the book, I could have been more flattering to you."

"Dan, look, I am the first to admit that I felt pretty bitter when I first read this." She tapped the laptop. "But, I'm just a bit part in it. It's bigger than me and if I get in the way, I think I'm liable to be crushed! But," She picked up his hand and held it between her own, "I'll say this one thing, Dan. I haven't even seen the two of you together in a room since May. But for you to both behaving this irrationally…you've either got to sort it out between yourselves…or deal with the fact that your friendship…or what ever it was…is over. You can't just sit here and stew over it forever."

Dan blinked. "Thanks for your sage advice, Serena. But she thinks I betrayed her. How can I explain my part if she won't even let me talk to her?"

She placed his hand back on the bench and rose from the stool. "I'm going to the penthouse to see her. I would tell you to come, but I think it might be better if I try to talk to her first."

"I'd really like to come. I am going to go crazy if I sit here any longer."

"Stay, Dan. I promise I'll return soon as possible."

Serena returned sooner than Dan expected. She stood at his open door, watching his half-hearted attempts at tidying the loft. He had clearly showered, changed his clothes and found his shoes, as his appearance was far less rumpled than it had been previously.

"I sorry, Dan, I tried. She wouldn't listen to me. In fact, she wouldn't even let me in her room."

Dan put his hands up in frustration. "This is going to send me insane!"

"I have an idea. Well, I had an idea and I just did it…I knew you'd try to talk me out of it if I didn't do it before I got back." Serena hesitated, clearly unsure of how Dan would react.

"Serena! What did you do?"

She gave him a slightly apprehensive smile. "I called Chuck. I asked him to talk to Blair."

Dan raised his eyebrow at her. "You called Chuck? Great! Now all I need is for Blair to throw herself into his arms."

"And well she might, Dan. It's just an option you're going to have to live with."

"Believe me, Serena, I'm living with it. But to just invite him in and ask him to get involved?"

"Whatever, Dan. Chuck still loves Blair. Always will, even if they're not together. I know he would always try to help her, even if it inadvertently helps you, if she were in trouble. Which she is."

She continued to look expectantly at him. He sighed, resignedly. "What? Is there more?"

"Chuck said he'd help, but he wants to read the book first."

"What, Serena? No! Come on."

"Dan, it's only fair. I explained to him that Blair thinks that you wrote something fairly explicit about them, based on fact. He wants to read it. I don't think I explained it very well. In fact, I still find it confusing. I don't see how Blair can think something her fictional character did with your fictional character is actually based on something she did with Chuck."

Dan stood up. "Well, I guess you should give it to him. While you're at it, why not just print out a few more copies and give them to anyone else you see. In fact, just post it online. Send it straight to Gossip Girl. I just don't care anymore. You know where the printer is. Help yourself!" He walked out of the loft, slamming the door behind him.

xoxoxoxoxox

Blair didn't even raise her head off the bed when Dorota trundled in to her darkened bedroom.

"Miss Blair, you have visitor."

"Dorota, I told you. I'm not seeing anyone.

"It's Mr Chuck, Blair." She pulled heavy curtains open, flooding the room with light.

"Do you really think I'd want to see him, Dorota? Are you out of your mind?"

"I would like it if you saw something, Blair. More than your bed. You lie here for two days!"

Blair groaned into her pillow. "Well, bad luck, I'm not moving."

Chuck's voice sounded at her door as Dorota left the room.

"Blair, you clearly don't want to see me. But Serena asked for my help and you know I'd do anything for her." His words belied the mocking tones of his voice.

"Chuck. Just go away. I don't know what Serena told you, but I blame you as much as anyone for my ruination. In fact, I think you're the architect of it."

"I'm sure you do. But I want to tell you something."

"There is nothing you have to say that I would want to hear."

"Look, Blair, enough. I've read the book. Ok? There are some things I need to say."

Blair turned over and sat up. Chuck leaned laconically at her doorway. She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. "This is getting ridiculous. Soon everybody in New York will have read it. I have to get out of this city."

"I've looked into it, Blair. What Humphrey said is true. It's being published against his will. Vanessa indeed stole the manuscript and sent it to a publisher. It's so sensational that they couldn't help themselves but publish it. I think you'll be happy with the reparation you'll get, whether the book's published or not."

"It certainly won't be published, Chuck."

"Oh, but that would be such a shame."

"Why? We look like horrible people. You more than anyone."

"Oh, I don't know, he paints us all as the lovable scoundrels we are. If anyone associates me with Charlie Trout…I'm so pleased he used his old name for me…it can only enhance my mystique." He smiled lazily at her. "Why would I dislike it, Blair?"

She flopped back on the bed. "I should have known. Of course, it's all about you."

"You have to admit it, despite the sloppy brush strokes, he nailed my charm."

"How can you say that? He wrote about that night…when…" Blair faltered. "When you gave me up. How did he know that?"

"He didn't know it." Chuck raised his eyebrows. "I agree, Blair, it's uncanny. Brooklyn must have a fey grandmother tucked away somewhere. But I didn't tell him about that night. I haven't told anyone. The story isn't truly the same. One character is wrong for a start. The only real similarity is his character telling you to stay with the prince, or whoever he is in Humphrey's novel."

He walked closer toward the bed. Blair sat up and pulled the blanket further over her legs. "I didn't give you up either, Blair, I just gave you back to yourself. And I regret it."

Blair blinked. She searched Chuck's face, for a hint that he was dissembling. But there was none. She shook her head determinedly. "I refuse to believe that it's just coincidence, Chuck."

"It is, Blair. Believe me, I have no problem with you thinking badly of Humphrey. I prefer it, in fact. But I didn't want you to think badly of me." His face became intent. "That I would betray you. Again."

"Your betrayal wouldn't surprise me in the slightest."

"I know, Blair, I have a bad track record. But this could be our chance. I know you've ditched the Prince; we could start over. I missed you, reading Humphrey's book reminded me how much. I must admit he surprised me, he really does get you."

"Chuck. Of all moments, you pick right now to come and say this to me?"

"You say you're ruined? Come on, Blair. This is meant to be. The timing is perfect. Come with me, we could go anywhere. Forget Humphrey and his book. I can take you away from all this."

"If you had asked me before, I might have just considered it, Chuck. But not now."

He pressed her further. "It's fate, Blair, pushing us together. You and I both know it."

Blair sighed resignedly. "It may be fate, Chuck, but your reasoning is off. When I read Dan's book I realised something. I thought I had been weak for not leaving Louis to be with you, when I believed that was what I really wanted. But, Chuck, if I had really wanted to be with you, nothing you said could have changed my mind that night. I've realised it was my choice and did I make it." She gave a bitter laugh. "And I didn't have to get engaged to Louis to prove to myself I didn't need you. I could have just chosen myself. I've hurt an innocent man, who deserved better, to learn it. But I have learnt it. I didn't need your blessing."

Chuck lowered his brow. "It doesn't have to be like this, Blair. I know I've changed. I'll show you. I won't hurt you again."

"It's too late, Chuck. I had been so in the habit of loving you, I didn't even realise when those feelings didn't exist anymore. I was constructing something I didn't need, or even want. It's really over. We missed our chance."

"I can't believe you, Blair."

"Believe what you want, Chuck. It actually doesn't matter to me either way."

"And Humphrey? His book seems to have bestowed an array of revelations on you. Are you sure he's not one of them too?" Chuck sneered.

"That's none of your business. But…I think it's too late for that. I'm sure I've managed to exterminate any feeling he had for me."

"Mmm, Dumphrey doesn't take a hint very well. Unfortunately, I think you're mistaken."

"I'm not talking to you about this! It's time for you to go, Chuck. Shut my door on the way out."

He moved forward until his legs pushed up against the side of her bed. "Blair, I know you'll regret this."

"I've said all I need to say, Chuck. I really don't give a damn." She lay back on her bed and smiled for the first time in days. "God! That felt good to say."

Blair pulled the coverlet over her head. Chuck continued to try and remonstrate with her, but she remained unmoved. She lay silently, listening for the sound of the door closing behind him. Which it did, eventually.

Only silence remained. Blair pulled the coverlet from her face. Seeing Chuck had bought everything into clarity. It was really over. She felt like a weight had been lifted. No Louis. No Chuck. She could start again. I can do anything. Go anywhere. Except the one place I…

Blair reached across to her bedside table and opened the drawer, retrieving her copy of Dan's book. It fell open on her lap, the pages looking battered from her repeated reference to it. She turned to the beginning once more, reading the story as if it were the first time.