Rachel had been with Santana for two years. She had found comfort in the Latina after losing to Vocal Adrenaline in Regionals sophomore year and they'd been practically inseparable since. There had been many opportunities where they could have said Those three words. It wasn't that Rachel doubted Santana's feelings. She saw the same love that she felt for the other girl whenever she looked into her eyes. It was as if Santana was afraid that she would be scared off, despite all of their plans. They were moving to New York together and sharing an apartment.
FLASHBACK
"Why should we let you two share an apartment when you're more than friends?" Santana's mother asked.
"Well, Mom, Rach and I spend so much time at one another's house anyway. And despite what you guys are thinking, we are going to spend time together in New York whenever we can. And yes, that will include spending time in each other's apartments. I refuse to live in a dorm. It would just be easier if we lived together." Santana said. All four parents raised an unconvinced eyebrow. Santana and Rachel shared a look before Rachel spoke up.
"Dad, Daddy, Mr. and Mrs. Lopez, we understand your reservations about Santana and I living together and being in a relationship. But, as I'm sure you are all aware, New York apartments are very expensive. By living together, Santana and I are actually saving you all money and you guys are already paying so much for our educations." Rachel said. The parents looked at each other.
"All right. You can share an apartment." Rachel's dad, Leroy, said.
END FLASHBACK
Rachel knew that the Latina loved her as much as Rachel loved her Latina, but she also knew that she wasn't going to be the one to say it it first. Throughout their entire relationship, Rachel had been the one initiating, as if Santana was worried about pushing the diva to far. It was Rachel who had asked Santana on their first date. Rachel who had initiated their first kiss. Rachel who had initiated going farther and farther until that became Rachel initiating their first time together (though Santana quickly took over that one). Once Santana knew that Rachel was comfortable with something, she had no problem initiating it. She just didn't like going into uncharted territory and risk hurting or even losing Rachel. Even after two years, Santana still worried about the diva leaving her. Rachel had never voiced her thoughts to anyone and she sighed, ran a hand through her hair, and walked up to her girlfriend. They had just gotten to New York where Nationals were once again being held and were getting some lunch after they had dropped off their bags. Once again they had only been able to afford two rooms and once again, Santana and Rachel had claimed a bed for themselves. Santana smiled as Rachel approached her and quickly slid an arm around the diva's waist.
"Hey! I ordered you a Garden Salad and a Raspberry Lemonade while you were in the bathroom. Quinn's going to call us when our food is ready." Santana said. Rachel looked up at her girlfriend.
"Where will we be?" Rachel asked. Santana smiled mysteriously.
"We're going for a walk, my curious diva. I want to talk. We didn't get to talk much on the plane, since someone slept on my shoulder the entire time." Santana teased her. Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Well, someone kept me up all night." Rachel said. Santana raised an eyebrow.
"You weren't complaining last night. Come on." Santana said. The pair walked out of the deli and Rachel laid her head in Santana's shoulder as they walked hand in hand. "So... Guess what I realized." Santana said. Rachel looked up at her.
"What?" she asked. Santana squeezed her hand.
"That I love you." Santana said casually. Rachel froze. "Rach?" Santana asked. Rachel nodded.
"When did you realize this?" she asked. Santana smiles.
"Oh God. You're going to hate me. I felt it coming for awhile, but I truly accepted it when I watched you sing Pretending last year at Nationals. You looked directly at me, gave a small smile, and I was gone. At that moment, I knew that I was completely in love with you." Santana said. Rachel smiled.
"And it took you a year to tell me?" Rachel asked. Santana shrugged and looked at her feet, as she often did when she was nervous. It was a trait that she hated about herself, but Rachel found completely adorable. Chuckling, Rachel gently lifted her chin up. "I love you too." Rachel said, kissing her softly. Santana smiled.
"When did you know?" Santana asked.
"I started feeling it when you sang Valerie at Sectionals last year. By Regionals, I just hadn't admitted it to myself, but when we made eye contact during Get It Right, I knew I had to and when we were singing Loser Like Me, I did." Rachel said. Santana poked her in the side.
"You didn't tell me either." Santana said. Rachel nodded.
"I was tired of initiating everything. I wanted you to be the first one to take charge." Rachel said. Santana looked down again.
"I didn't want to rush you." she admitted. Rachel smiled.
"Its okay. I can't think of anything more perfect than being in my dream city and having my dream girl tell me she loves me for the first time." Rachel said. Santana hugged Rachel.
"I love you, Rachel." Santana said. Rachel kissed her girlfriend.
"I love you too. Let's go check on our food, okay?" Rachel said. Santana smiled and nodded. Rachel grabbed her hand and the two walked to the restaurant.