Blair wandered downstairs in a daze. Serena was sitting at the breakfast table, flicking through a magazine. She jumped to her feet when she saw Blair coming into the room.

"Blair! You've finally left your room."

Blair said nothing, only making her way around the table to her friends waiting arms. She buried her head into Serena's welcome shoulder, releasing her pent up tears.

Serena wrapped her arms around Blair's tense body, waiting for her to speak.

"Serena, I've been such a fool!"

"You're not a fool, B, maybe just a little misguided."

"I've ruined everything. Why did I have to wage a path of destruction, before I finally realised I was lying to myself?"

"Well, you're not one to do things in halves, B. Come on, sit down and talk to me. I'm sure we can work through some of this."

Serena walked through to the lounge, taking a seat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her. Blair followed, taking a seat where directed and leaning her head against Serena's shoulder.

She wiped her eyes. "S, I was so angry at Dan, when I thought that he had put Chuck and I in the book. I thought he was trying to expose me. But I didn't think it through. I didn't want to try and work out why I was so angry. I just reacted and…when Chuck convinced me it truly was a coincidence…" She stopped short. "You haven't read the whole thing, it's too hard to explain."

"Try me, B. I actually forced Dan into letting me read the rest of it."

"Well, It's exactly what happened between Chuck and I, when we had sex for the last time. It was crazy; I was convinced that it signified he and I were meant to be together. I wanted to leave Louis, but Chuck wouldn't let me. I never told you. I never told anyone about it." She moved restlessly. "I felt so awful that I could treat Louis like that, but I just swallowed it, afraid that I'd be left with nothing. No Louis, no Chuck…no…one. I was in denial."

Serena tried to catch her eyes, but Blair dropped her head further. "I read the book again and I realised I wasn't angry at Dan, only at how he characterised me. I was so angry with Sophie for being weak. Not following her heart. Doing what I did when I didn't leave Louis for Chuck." Blair paused, wiping her eyes again. Serena stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. "Why would Dan write that if he didn't know what happened with Chuck?"

"B, I think you're just going to have to ask him that."

"I can't do that. He must loathe me now!"

"I think he'll forgive you, B, but you have to let him. You've pushed him pretty far."

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me, S? I don't even know what I think about him. How can he even like me, or respect me, after the way I behaved? I don't even respect myself!"

"Blair, I can't tell you what Dan has said to me about you. He needs to tell you himself. Look, your town car is downstairs. I'll come with you to his door but I'm not going inside."

"I want to see him. I don't even know if he'll be home."

Serena smiled. "Oh, I'm sure he is. He's been just as foolish as you. Sorry, not foolish…misguided."

Blair nodded her head silently. She moved back into Serena's arms. "Thank you, S, you're my best friend. I know Dan's novel hasn't been easy for you either."

"It has been hard, B, but, you know what? I can handle it."

Blair's face crumpled again.

"B! Enough tears. Go upstairs, pull yourself together and you can go talk to him."

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Dan jumped at the sound at his door. He'd been attempting to write a paper he'd managed to get an extension for, but had been staring at the introduction for hours. It was hard to concentrate on the critical aspects of Shelley's love poems in the mental state he was in. He read Love's Philosophy again and again, until he knew every phrase and nuance by heart. He wished he'd picked Dante's Inferno for his paper instead.

He closed his laptop and made his way slowly to the door. He had locked it for once, sick of people bursting in unannounced. He opened it to find Blair walking down the steps away from him.

"Blair?"

"You are here. The door was locked." She gave him a tenuous smile. "I didn't think you ever locked the door, even if you weren't here." She bit her lip. "I thought it was a wise move; hopefully someone would come and steal everything."

He returned her smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, well…I'm kind of attached to a few things in here. You're welcome to come and loot though, if that's what you're here for."

Blair let her breath out in a rush of relief, but she didn't take the bait. She walked back up the stairs toward him.

"Can I come in? I thought we could talk."

He gestured for her to enter. She moved past him and stood, looking a little lost, in his kitchen.

He walked over and lowered his head, his fingers fidgeting aimlessly with the cup sitting on the kitchen bench. "I thought you'd be with Chuck. Did he speak to you?"

"Yes, and I spoke to him. Seeing him made me realise a whole lot of things."

"Where is he?"

Blair grimaced. "I don't know…Dan, why would you care? Call him if you want to see him so much…just don't ask him here."

"I thought after you spoke to him…"

"It's over between he and I, Dan, really over. I can barely look at him now. Every time I even think about him, I feel angry with myself for all the things I allowed him to do to me. I've been so blind..."

Dan looked up at her, his fingers falling still. He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off.

"Dan…the book. Serena and Chuck have told me some things but I need to hear them from you…if they're true."

"I'm sorry, Blair. I should never have written about you like that. Yes, a series of unfortunate events have led to it's almost publication. But I only wrote it for me. To give me some kind of choice, even if it were meaningless, in a situation I was completely helpless in."

Blair walked closer to Dan, placing her hand on his arm. He could scarcely breathe.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"It was what I wanted to tell you on the night we…It was the first time I'd seen you since I found out about it."

Blair looked to the floor. "I guess I didn't really give you a chance to explain."

Dan shook his head. "I could have tried harder... I was worried you'd never want to see me again…and Blair, our friendship meant too much to me to risk."

She tightened her grip on his arm. "Dan, you have been my friend, and you never asked for anything. You have never berated me…without reason; you have defended me. The worse thing you've ever really done to me is exposing my appalling karaoke. I thought that I could keep you separate. But when you were out of my life…it was…" She reached to her face to wipe away a tear. "I realised that the part of my life I was sharing with you was the only element I was actually enjoying…and I used you, worse than you used me."

He furrowed his brow, restraining himself from reaching across to her cheek. "I let you do it, Blair. I've been a very willing participant all the way. I've been a fool. I didn't mean to ruin your life."

"It's ok, Humphrey, I ruined it myself, I didn't really need your help to do it. Your book was a catalyst but I sowed the seeds."

"So you don't blame me for your absolute social destruction?"

"No…despite your best efforts."

"And you don't hate me?"

She shook her head.

"So that must mean we're friends again?" Dan looked vaguely wistful.

"I guess…" Blair felt a knot of dissatisfaction settle in her stomach. She looked up at him and withdrew her hand. "Who else do I have? Without you and Serena, I'd be completely alone."

Dan took her hand and led her over to the sofa. They sat down but he retained her fingers, entwining them with his.

She looked down at their hands as he cleared his voice to speak.

"Blair, if you're not going to be the future queen of Monaco and the book isn't going to print, then you're not ruined. The publishers backed off when Lily's lawyers approached them on my behalf. The lawyers are just waiting for me to decide whether I'm going to sue for damages. I don't know that I can…it would destroy Vanessa, and as much as I never want to see her again, I don't want to crush her."

Blair snatched her hand back and folded her arms. "I don't see why not."

Dan smiled. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"She was completely happy to send the rest of us to hell. I think she deserves everything that's coming to her."

"Blair, she's alone…a poor student in Barcelona…what am I going to do? Get her extradited from Spain? I don't really want to put myself through it all. Surely there's enough media attention around you at the moment for all of us. I think it's better to settle quietly. As alien a concept as that might be."

Blair narrowed her eyes at him. "Very crafty, Humphrey. Turn the tables on me. Well, two can play that game." She leaned back on the sofa and took a breath. "It appears I'm the only person you actually willingly let read your book. I want to know why?"

Dan looked startled. "I thought you understood? I didn't want the book published, Blair, but when it started happening, I wanted to give you a choice." He paused, searching for his next words. "There's a lot in my book that isn't fiction. I wanted you to know what I'd written about you."

"I don't see how that gave me a choice?"

"I guess…I didn't realise it would make you fly off the handle about Chuck again. I really didn't know what you would do." He paused, a silent laugh on his lips. "C'mon, Waldorf, do you even know what you're going to do at any given time. It's hardly surprising."

"I resent that, Humphrey! I pride myself on my forethought and good planning."

"Ahh…that's what it's called. Forgive me." He leaned back, looking across at her. "Let me start again. Blair, I almost came forward as the author when I first found out…but after…there is so much about you in it…I couldn't let it come out without giving you a choice in it's publication. When you attacked me, it seemed pretty clear what your answer was."

Blair looked down and clasped her hands firmly together in her lap. She raised her head after a moment and met his eyes. "Is it too late to reverse it? I mean to reinstate the publication?"

Dan stuttered. "I…I…don't know… I guess not, but…"

"Humphrey, you clearly haven't ever studied Voltaire…not that I'm in any way comparing you to him…you couldn't even…" She rolled her eyes. "Look, Dan, you should publish and let the consequences be damned. The best way to scotch any rumour is to band together, smile and say nothing. What's the worst thing that can happen?" She smirked. "Besides getting sued"

He turned his lips down. "That would be pretty bad."

"Dan, seriously, if you really are giving me a voice in this, then…don't stop the publication." Blair leaned forward and let her forehead rest on his arm. "It's not my story now. I changed my own ending." She stopped and then looked back up at him, her eyes dancing. "Of course it makes it a bit harder to sue…although I can probably still get a case together."

Dan couldn't speak. It took every bit of his will power not to lean forward and kiss her.

She continued. "I want you to be successful, Dan…the book." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "The book is truly great. It could be a best seller. And Serena will get over it…she almost is already and I know she wants you and I to be friends. Chuck loves how he's portrayed…even though I don't care what he thinks and neither should you. Everyone can just deal with it. People may speculate, but it's actually not going to matter when they see that it hasn't changed anyone's relationships."

"Blair?"

She looked down at the floor and then back up at him through her lashes with a half smile, making his heart stop. "I'm not the girl who broke the poor romantic writer's heart." She placed her hand on his knee. "And I need my friend."

Dan froze at the contact, swallowing all the words that rose to his lips.

He said the only safe thing he could think of.

"Blair, do you want to watch a movie with me?"