Final Chapter: Capital M for sMut. This is probably a little self-indulgent but I had half of it written before I finished the first chapter. Kind of a meandering way to get there, I know. Next time I should probably just make it a one shot and get right to the point.
Not mine, as you know.
The sense of comfort Dan felt when he awoke was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Smothered in down, sinking into cloud-like pillows and Blair nestled against him, his arms draped around her. Her warm scent taunted him, making him hyper aware of her proximity. He knew if she woke, she'd be aware of it too. Moving awkwardly so not to wake her, he slowly slipped his arms from her, shuffling deliberately toward the edge of the bed.
He sat for a moment, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest. The strap of her camisole slipping off her shoulder. The dark sweep of her lashes shadowed on her cheek. Pale translucent skin, like a Snow White he wanted to kiss awake. His body told him to slip back into bed again beside her and submit to his baser instincts.
Slow. That's what she wanted…needed…and what Blair Waldorf wanted, she got.
Dan picked his jeans up off the floor and slipped them on over his boxers. He opened the door cautiously, listening intently for sounds of life in the house. Feeling relief at the silence. No Serena, no Dorota. They were in the clear.
The thought of Serena made his thoughts drift back to their extended conversations the night before.
She had been resting her body against his, head on his shoulder, looking up at him. He had felt his heart beating a steady rhythm against her cheek. Her words came clearly, unconnected to her previous whispers.
"So, what about Serena?"
"What about her?" His lips found the pulse at her temple.
Blair closed her eyes, momentarily, before reasserting her point. "What are we going to tell her?"
His eyebrow quirked. "I don't know if it's so much what but when are we going to tell her."
"Same difference." Blair had drawn her brows together, reaching over to cover his hand with her own, smoothing her palm over his skin. "Dan, can we keep it…this…quiet for a while? I...I…the media has only just backed off after Louis and I'm not so keen on the mayhem that will ensue once this gets out." Her tone grew more acerbic. "Why couldn't your book just be lost and forgotten amongst the other pile of trash new releases? You really should stop promoting it."
"Too bad, Waldorf, the book tour is already locked in." His head fell back in the pillows. "We need to tell Serena though."
"Yes…but can we at least leave it for a few days? Keep it our secret." She smiled coyly at him. "I like having secrets with you, Humphrey. I always have."
He laughed at that and rolled them over so her face lay against his, trapping her mouth with his own.
Her voice was breathless when she found it again. "I'm not finished talking about Serena."
"Forget about Serena." Whispering into her ear and nuzzling into soft skin.
Tilting her head allow him clear access but refusing to be distracted from her question. "I can't believe that she is out of your mind. She was your dream girl. She's everyone's dream."
"Was is the operative word." She rolled her head back toward him, forcing him to withdraw from her neck. An amused expression crossed his face as he pulled back, scanning her face. "Oh ho…are we insecure? That's rich."
She turned away from him. "You deal with your insecurities and I'll deal with mine!"
He ran his hand down her arm. "I admit, I like you jealous. But there's no need for it. I haven't thought about Serena like that for a long time now." She turned back toward him, silent, as if waiting for more confessions. "Serena was an ideal to me, like a dream, as you say." Her breath became agitated. "What I felt for her was real, what we had…but…it just became so much hard work. The gloss came off and I never found it again. You…however..." His fingers drifted up her spine, feeling the silken slide of her camisole against her skin "...You grew on me slowly."
"I'm not lichen, Humphrey."
"Exactly like lichen. Insidiously creeping into my heart." Smiling into her hair. "You have always provoked me. I have wanted to strangle you…you know it. But you fascinated me; I thought you were everything I wasn't. You are so courageous, fiercely defensive of the people you love, but you expect so much from them in return. They have to deserve you, win your affection. And it's true you are a prize. I want to win you."
"You're winning. Just keep talking." She moved up the bed, resting her face close to his, almost nose to nose. Her dark eyes swimming against his, their breath mingling.
"…Keep talking…uh…when I write about you, words can't come fast enough. It's been like that since I met you. You can read my journals if you don't believe me. Pages and pages about Blair Waldorf."
"… And how much you hated her…" Blair's face loomed closer.
"Yes, how much she infuriated me. And how complex she was, how strong, how unique, how clever." His lips crossed the small distance between them. "And more recently…how sexy she was."
"That's charming. Dan's dirty diaries." Her pink cheeks belied the sneer in her voice.
"You won't be able to find the x-rated ones." He winked at her. "I did have to rewrite that scene in Inside a few times before I got it right. I have a much more, shall we say, extended version."
Blair's eyebrows shot up, her mouth forming a circle. "Dan! What if someone... Vanessa's probably got it!"
"Blair, relax. It doesn't exist, I'm teasing you."
She narrowed her eyes. "You are so sly. I don't believe you…I'll find it."
"Great, I can see exactly how this is going to pan out, every time you're alone in my space, you're going to rummage through my stuff, looking for something that doesn't even exist…" Blair compressed her lips and said nothing. His turned up in the corners. "See…I know you…you're not even denying it."
Blair dropped her eyes to his grinning mouth. It grew wider. "I think you like the idea…" Dan leaned in and kissed her. "Admit it…you want it to exist."
She closed her eyes, a flush spreading across her face…
Dan smiled as he tried to locate the kettle in Blair's kitchen.
xoxoxoxoxox
Blair stretched like a cat as she awoke. She felt the warm patch of empty bed next to her and rolled into it, burying her face in the pillow Dan had just departed from. She inhaled deeply, letting herself drift back into dream.
His calloused, chewed fingers tracing patterns into her skin, making it tremble. So different to the manicured digits she was familiar with.
"Close your eyes." He obliged her. She swept her mouth up against his softly, just barely brushing his lips with hers. His closed eyes lent a vulnerability to his face and she leaned in to kiss him again, just tasting him. He lifted his chin, trying to catch her lips but they evaded him.
His eyelids flickered, trying to track her movements. "No cheating, Humphrey."
He clamped his eyes firmly shut once more. "I didn't realise it was a game."
"Of course it's a game." Placing her fingers over his eyes, lashes brushing against their tips.
His head nudged up into her hand. "Stop teasing me."
Tracing his lips and teeth, catching her nails on stubble. "What are you going to do about it?"
"This." Dan rolled her over onto her back, settling between her thighs. Her head rested between his hands, his thumbs sketching across her cheeks. His mouth closing over hers.
Her eyes snapped open at a loud smash, startling her from her reverie. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, following the noise downstairs, draping her dressing gown around her.
She found him in the kitchen, hair falling over his forehead as he inspected the pieces of shattered porcelain lying at his feet. His shirt was open, jeans riding low on his hips. Her eyes traced the v at the base of his belly and back up to his bemused expression.
"I can think of better ways you could have woken me than by destroying my mothers Doulton."
Dan lifted his eyes from the floor, a smile blossoming slowly on his face. His eyes trailed up her body, lingering on the length of exposed leg below her short dressing gown. "Good morning to you too. Did you sleep well?"
Her tones softened. "Better than I have for months, until you started blundering around my kitchen. Leave that. Dorota can clean it up later."
"I didn't mean to wake you but I thought you might like some tea."
"You're making me tea, Humphrey?"
"Uh, well, I wanted to bring it to you in bed, but…"
"No one has ever done that for me, who wasn't getting paid." She smiled archly at him. "You better watch out, Dorota might think you're trying to usurp her place."
"I think I'd lose that battle. Come here." He opened his arms and she moved forward into them.
"That's better. Good morning." She whispered up into his lips.
"Mmmmm." He pressed his mouth down on hers. Blair quivered and moved closer to him. Her lips opened beneath his, welcoming his kiss. He moved her away from the shards of crockery and lifted her onto a stool, letting her legs wrap around his hips, her fingers teasing his hair as his hands slid around her ribcage.
Dan pulled away, breathless. "So, is this slow?"
"This is slow, Cabbage Patch…"
"Cabbage Patch, huh? That's certainly a mood killer."
"I don't think so. It just depends on how you say it." She lowered her voice and looked suggestively up at him through her lashes. "Cabbage Patch, I'm going back to bed. Care to follow me?"
His eyes darkened and he lowered his head to her neck, kissing the hollow at the base of her throat. "When you look at me like that…say that to me…you could call me anything…"
She moved closer to feel more of him, running her hands up under his shirt, his body stirring against hers as she tugged the curls at the nape of his neck. He murmured into her lips, moving his hands down to her buttocks and pressing her closer.
A shrill noise distracted them. "Oh God..."
They looked up to see Serena at the door, wide-eyed and very pink. She turned away from them, looking at her phone. "Excuse me, while I go and poke my eyes out."
Blair stuttered, pushing Dan away and sliding to the floor. "S…Serena. I didn't know you were home. I didn't hear you come in."
"I'm not surprised. I got home last night but I thought you must have been asleep." Her eyes switched between them. "I didn't know Dan was here."
"It's not what it looks like. It only just happened."
"Blair, I'm sure it's exactly what it looks like…it's pretty hard to mistake. "
Blair had the grace to blush. Dan just gave Serena an intent look, as if willing her far away.
"We were going to tell you."
"It's ok, Blair, do you think I didn't see this coming from a mile off? It's been obvious to everyone but you." She tossed her head, avoiding their eyes. "Well, I've got to go, or I'll be late for work."
"Stay, Serena, have some tea. Dan made it, I'm sure it's undrinkable." Dan still contributed nothing.
"I don't think so, I'm never going to let anything from this kitchen pass my lips after this. And I can see when I'm not welcome…Dan…I'll leave you to it."
Blair narrowed her eyes. "Serena. It's ok if this makes you feel awkward. We can talk about this."
"This is awkward, believe me. But it's better than when you wanted to kill him, unless you were actually trying to suffocate him." Her eyes flickered between them.
Dan stepped forward before she could back out of the room. "Uh…Serena, thank you, for your help, for everything. This could never have happened if it weren't for you."
Blair added. "S, I never imagined you'd be so forgiving."
"Well, I don't see what I have to forgive, except your appalling behaviour. The angst coming from you both was cute, as was the merciless flirting, but it was getting a little boring. If the only way I could get either of you back, in some semblance of normality, is…like this…then so be it. Now, I really am out of here. "
With those parting words, Serena collected her bag and quit the apartment as quickly as possible. Her lips twisted a little as she looked at her phone, composing a message before she could change her mind.
Blair moved closer to Dan so they stood together in the kitchen. He lifted his hand to her chin and ran his thumb over the plump curve of her bottom lip. "Blair…"
She lowered her eyelids. "I'm going back to bed, Humphrey, Dorota will be here soon. You can bring the tea, I'm not missing out on you waiting on me…besides I like cold tea…"
She walked out of the kitchen, demurely lowering her head. Dan grabbed the tray he had prepared, following the line of her legs as she walked up the stairs to her bedroom, looking behind her. Smirking at the difficult time he was experiencing trying to balance the tray, walk up the stairs and watch her at the same time.
She waited at her door as he came through and flicked the lock behind him. "No unwelcome interruptions."
Both their phones sounded a message alert simultaneously. It could only herald one thing.
Blair rolled her eyes and claimed her phone from her dressing table. It opened to reveal an image of Blair locked in Dan's arms, her mouth on his, legs tight around hips, hands under his shirt. Close enough to be engaged in sex, if it weren't for the rumpled clothing trapped between them.
Blair felt heat rush up her body. From the embarrassment or something else, she couldn't tell. "I'm going to murder Serena!"
She held the phone up to him so he could see the compromising photo and the accompanying text.
Just in, Upper East Siders. An inside scoop on our Insider. Things are certainly heating up in Queen B's kitchen. Our photo reveals lonely boy's perpetual loneliness could be at an end. Consoling ourselves in the gutter are we, B? Given the current queue of broken hearts behind our queen, we can only wonder how long this might last.
Blair's face flushed further. "So much for keeping this quiet. Look at it!"
"I am looking, Blair. I guess our secret's out."
"Clearly, Humphrey. What am I going to do with you?" She stepped around him and wound her arms across his waist, running her hands up his chest, feeling the swell of his tensed muscles. "Should I kick you out or keep you?" Tracking the line of his abdomen with her fingers, her breath against the skin of his back. "I think I'll keep you."
Dan closed his eyes, finding himself trapped, unable to turn to her like he wanted, unable to move forward and put the tray down. He felt it tipping and tried to steady his hands. "Can I just put this down?"
"Hmmm, dilemma, you being helpless at my hands…good…tea on my carpet…bad" She kept her arms around him. She ran her fingertips almost imperceptibly around the waistband of his jeans, pausing on his hipbones and tracing further down.
He groaned. "I'm not going to be responsible for my actions, if you keep that up."
Blair whispered into his ear. "Be vigilant, Humphrey." She dropped her dressing gown to the floor and slipped under his arm, between the tray and his chest. She pushed his shirt over his shoulders and down his back, trapping his arms further.
She looked up and placed her hands on his chest, running her palms over his nipples. "Let's see how firm your resolve can be." Her hands moved to his fly, cupping the contents with her palm.
Dan's breath shuddered. "Isn't it a little soon in our relationship to introduce torture, Waldorf?"
"Humphrey, I thought that was our entire premise."
Blair unbuttoned his fly, pushing his zip down and easing the fabric over his hips. His boxers followed the same path down his thighs. Her fingers traced back up his inner leg, stopping short, until she kissed her way down his stomach. He felt her hot breath and the anticipation of her mouth nearly overtook him.
"Blair, I can't keep this up much longer."
One brow lifted. "It doesn't look like you're having any problems with that from here."
He looked down and watched her cherry red lips engulf him, dark eyes looking up. Her cheeks hollowed as she pulled back and he felt the pressure of her tongue on the tip of his cock.
"Ohhhh…Blair."
The contents of the tea tray crashed to floor, followed promptly by the tray itself.
"Jesus! Blair…"
Dan's hands moved to Blair's head, entangling with her hair. She pulled from him, head resting back in his fingers, her own tracing his thighs. "You've ruined the set now. Eleanor isn't going to be happy with you."
"So, it's my fault?"
Her mouth moved forward so he could feel her whisper against him. "Definitely. You have no self control."
Dan pulled her to her feet. His hands reached round her, buried in her hair, moving down to cup her ass, pushing up the silk of her shorts. He pressed her closer, open mouthed, trying to communicate his passion.
The door handle rattled violently. "Miss Blair, are you ok? You have broke something again?"
Blair tore her mouth away from Dan's. Her voice came breathlessly. "It's fine, Dorota, I can handle it."
Dorota knocked loudly. "Miss Blair, I clean up!"
Blair's voice sounded louder, venting her frustration. "Dorota! Go away!"
They collapsed back on the bed, the jeans still wrapped around Dan's feet making him stagger. Blair straddled him, tugging off his shirt, her knees either side of his thighs. He ran his hands down her back, shifting her to feel the pressure of her pelvis against him. She pressed down on him, plunging her tongue deep into his mouth.
He rubbed the thin straps of her camisole against her shoulders. "Clothes…in the way…let me see you." His mouth followed the track of his fingers as he pushed the camisole down over her chest. He cupped a breast in his hand, cream and raspberry, teasing the tip with his tongue. She moaned and rolled her head forward, running her fingers into his hair, making him draw it further into his mouth.
He traced his hand down her stomach as she writhed. Softer skin than he could possibly have imagined. Slipping inside her waistband as his mouth wound its way back and forth between her nipples.
He withdrew his lips, watching her features contort from the touch of his fingers. Seeking, he reached further, strumming his fingers into the cramped space between them.
"Dan…" She breathed his name, grinding her hips down voluptuously. She caught her tongue between her teeth, dissolving into the feeling of his long fingers inside her, his thumb pressing against her. He felt the moist silk at her crotch slipping aside as she rubbed against his stiff cock.
He moved his head up to her ear, his voice urgent. "Blair. Condoms. Do you have any?"
"Uh…yes… top drawer…right side…" She rolled her shoulders forward, mouth on his shoulder.
Dan groaned. "Blair…" He withdrew his hand.
"Ok! I'll get them. I don't recall you being so concerned.
"Call me safety boy. Neither of us were thinking last time."
Blair conceded by dropping her eyelids and pulled away from him. He took the opportunity to kick the jeans from his feet.
She stood between his open thighs and he shuffled forward to kiss her belly as she struggled with the condom wrapper. Hands tracing the back of her thighs, his fingers dipping and teasing. Her legs shifted apart as he shimmied her shorts and camisole over her hips. His lips followed their descent, eyes sneaking to watch her face.
Her chest rose faster. "Humphrey, you're distracting me…"
"Good."
Dan lowered his head, dipping his mouth to her, tasting her. She dropped her hands to his head, willing him closer. He cupped her buttocks in both hands when he felt her knees give, supporting her body as it sagged into him. His mouth bore down upon her, tongue seeking, and she gasped, her fingers tensing in his curls. Grinding her hips into him, his mouth and tongue moving, finding her rhythm. She stuttered his name as her whole body tensed. Shuddering as he took her whole weight in his arms.
He collapsed backward, landing on his elbows; Blair exposed to him, sitting across his knees, drunk from the sight. She leaned forward and claimed his mouth, tasting the salt on his lips. Using both hands to unroll the condom over him, all dark eyed urgency. Moisture on her thighs as she straddled him, using her fingers to steer his way. Her head fell back as he sat up to grasp her hips in his hands, sinking into her depths, fathoms deep.
Sweat traced a line between her breasts and Dan leaned closer, tasting it with his tongue, forging a path of heat through her. She rotated her hips forward, lips moving wordlessly. His hands moved up her back, pressing her body closer as she clutched at his shoulders. Her hand reached for him, lifting his mouth to meet hers. Grinding deeper, tongue on tongue, twisting her hands into his hair to hold him nearer.
He raised his hips to increase his traction as she tilted her pelvis against his, humming incoherently into his mouth. He pulled his face away, dipping his head back, her name on his lips, thrusting into her, holding her hips as she surged against him. Blair's lips contorted as her back arched and she bit down on his shoulder to stifle her response.
They fell back together into her bed. Flush faced, lips clinging to skin, pulses mingling. Wordless. Blair ran her fingers into Dan's hair, her thumb tracing across his brows.
Dan kissed her, lips lingering upon hers and then withdrew to dispose of the condom. He pulled the bed covers back and gathered her up underneath them, rolling her into his arms.
She kept her hands to his face, watching the corners of his mouth twitch. "What is circulating around in that little mind of yours?"
"I'm thinking…how best to translate that into prose."
Blair raised herself onto her elbow, taking in the tilt of his head and the quiver in his lips, and slapped his arm. "If you ever dare publish anything about me again, I will kill you."
His smirk widened into a smile. "But…Blair…I should write more books starring Sophie…I could redeem her reputation. What do you think of a crime series, kind of a…Nancy Drew meets Vogue type thing? Sophie the glamour detective, celebrated for her persistence against fashion crime. "
"That would be appalling."
"Or I could make her a villain, who becomes so notorious, that I have to kill her off in some kind of dramatic moral lesson."
Her eyes widened in mock outrage. "No! You can't kill me off."
Kissing her on the neck. "…I've got it… How about the amorous adventures of Sophie? A young girls erotic journey from Manhattan to Monaco."
Blair started giggling. "Too soon, Humphrey."
"It'll take a lot of research though, for such a convoluted story." He drew his hand down the long white curve of her back. "I'd better keep at it."
Acknowledgements to Georgette Heyer and Seinfeld for some of the ending.
Thanks again to all my reviewers.
A seed for a new next story is currently germinating in my head. I hope you all stay tuned.