"He proposed."

Those two little words hit James like a ton of bricks.

Chapter 6

"He…Colin proposed…to you….proposed marriage…him your husband….you…." said James eloquently.

"Yup," said Lily.

"Um…What did you…" said James, each word and thought causing him heartache. She couldn't marry him, she just couldn't. How could he live knowing that she, Lily had made those vows to someone else. His wife, his soulmate, his best friend, his other half…She couldn't marry Colin. He wouldn't survive that.

"I freaked….I panicked. He told me to think about it, and tell him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow…"

"He said he wants to get married quickly, without a huge fuss. Just the two of us, a few witnesses and the co-ordinator…which I guess is romantic….." babbled Lily, "I need your help"

"My help? Why do you need my help?"

"I need you to tell me what I should do"

"I can't do that Lily, I can't make this decision for you."

"What do you think I should do? What do you think would be best?" asked Lily, she was so thrown by what had happened and the only person she wanted to talk to was James. He always seemed to be able to calm her down and make her see that things weren't as bad as she thought.

"I can't tell you that. You can't ask me that," said James staring at the wall.

"Why? Why can't you tell me what you think?"

"You really want to know what I think? I mean really. I don't want to add more onto your mind."

"I want to know what my best friend thinks."

"I mean it Lily, if I say it I can't take it back."

"Tell me"

"Don't marry him," said James.

Lily took a deep intake of breath. Deep down she wasn't expecting James to tell her to marry Colin, she just needed to hear him say it.

"Come back to me…" he continued.

That she was not expecting.

"What?" she whispered. They were talking about her and Colin, what was James saying.

"Don't marry him. Come back to me. Give me a second chance…"

"I don't understand…."

"I still love you."

"James I….." said Lily shakily as she stood up.

"You told me to tell you. I'm sorry if I've just confused you more…but I do love you. I have never stopped loving you."

"I can't handle this right now….why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm sorry. I just needed you to know that…."

"I can't…..I have to…leave…" she said getting up and leaving.

"Lily…."

"No…no James. You can't do this. My boyfriend just proposed to me tonight, I'm here doubting if I love him enough to marry him…."

"You didn't hesitate when I asked…."

"Maybe I should have…"

"But…."

"No buts. Colin is a great guy, he adores me, he would never hurt me…"

"Neither would…."

"But you did, you DESTROYED ME!!" Lily screamed.

"Lily…"

"No, no you don't get to talk to me like this. You broke put me back together."

"Please, just listen to me…." Said James desperately, but when she ran from the room he didn't try and stop her or go after her.

---------------------------------------------------

"What do you mean you're leaving?" asked Sirius incredulously the next morning.

"I mean I was offered a job in Edinburgh, my family has a place up there so I'm taking it," said James numbly.

"How could you have been offered a job? You didn't say a word to anyone. What is going on?" said Sirius.

"He asked her to marry him," he sighed.

"Colin and Lily?"

"Yeah."

"Ahhhhhh"

"She came to me last night and asked me what I thought she should do."

"What did you say?" asked Sirius, who knew exactly how James felt about Lily. James had never told him, or gave any sign but he was like his brother. He knew.

"I told her not to marry him. I told her to give me a second chance. I told her I never stopped loving her."

"Right," said Sirius sitting down next to James who just looked numb, as if he wasn't aware of anything going on around him. "What did she say?"

"She said I destroyed her. I broke her and Colin put her back together."

"Oh…."

"She's going to say yes to him. I can't be around to watch her marry….I can't do it. I need to leave, I need to leave today."

"You're not even going to say goodbye to her," said Sirius.

"I can't. How can I say goodbye to Lily? How can I do that?"

"You can't just leave without a word."

"I have to. She can reach me if she wants to. I'll leave you my contact details."

"If you're sure"

"I am."

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James was walking down the garden path for the last time. Sirius was going to send all his things on to him tomorrow. He couldn't believe that he was actually leaving, that he wouldn't see Lily, Sirius and Remus everyday. But most of all Lily, how was he going to live without her?

"James….Don't go. Don't leave."

James looked where the voice was coming from, and Lily stepped out of the shadows.

"Lily…I…How did…"

"Sirius called me. Where you really going to leave…without telling me or even saying goodbye?" said Lily. James could tell by her face that she had been up most of the night, most likely in tears. Even now it looked as if she might burst into tears at any time. He could see the pain and hurt in her eyes, and it killed him.

"I'm sorry," he said not even being able to look at her. "I didn't want to hurt you…"

"So you just disappear?"

"I can't stay here…"

"Please stay….don't go"

"I have to," said James sadly.

Lily just nodded sadly, "Come visit?"

"Of course," said James.

"I can't believe you're really not going to be here tomorrow. Who's going to listen to my insane ramblings in the middle of the night?"

"I'm sure Sirius will do," said James kindly.

"He's great but he's not you."

"You'll be fine, and if you really need me send an owl."

"It's not the same, it'll never be the same."

"I know…" he said sadly.

"Good luck," said Lily sadly, then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, into her cheek.

"Then stay."

"No."

"It's not fair."

"No it's not," he said pulling away.

"It sucks."

"It sure does," he said pulling her into a hug, "Love you," he whispered.

"I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too."

And that was it, they pulled away and he got into a cab and went to the train station.

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Don't hate me!!

But feel free to review and shout at me.

Don't worry though this is not the end.

Mhm - this is a LJ fic and I think there will be about 15 chapters.