"I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too."

And that was it, they pulled away and he got into a cab and went to the train station.

Chapter 7

James was standing looking up at the screens to see if his train was delayed. It wasn't safe to apparate long distances anymore. Deatheaters had started to intercept, and you could end up anywhere.

Just then someone grabbed him by the collar and flung him against the brick wall.

"Sirius what the hell are you doing?" James shouted in surprise. Sirius still had him up against the wall by his neck.

"No what the hell are you doing? How could you leave her in that state? You claim to love her, but if you loved her you couldn't have done that to her," Sirius shouted.

"Who? Lily?" exclaimed James, "she was alright when I left. She was upset but she was okay."

"Well she isn't now," said Sirius letting go of James. He could tell that James was genuinely surprised, and he knew Lily didn't always show her emotions.

"Why? What happened? Is she hurt? Tell me!" demanded James.

"She is up in your room, sobbing her heart out. She won't speak to me or Remus," said Sirius.

"When did this happen?"

"As soon as you left."

"I…I thought she was okay. She seemed okay."

"You know Lily,"

"Yeah I do," sighed James. He had to go back, he couldn't leave knowing how upset she was. He would never forgive himself and more importantly Lily would never forgive him.

"We should apparate back."

"Okay," said James.

---------------------------------------

James was standing outside his bedroom door, he could hear Lily crying. Sirius wasn't exaggerating, she was really crying, heartbreaking sobs. He gently opened the door. She was lying on his bed with her back to her, curled up in a ball. James went in and sat down on the bed.

"Lily…."

"J…J…James?"

"Yeah it's me," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Wh..what are y-you doing here? Y-you sho-should be…."

"Shhhhhh……I can't leave you like this."

"I….I'm fine."

"For some reason I don't believe you," he said pulling her up into a sitting position and gently wiping the tears from her face.

"Why am I never enough?"

"What?"

"Why am I never enough? I wasn't a good enough reason for you to not sleep with…Gina."

"Lily…."

"And now I'm not a good enough reason for you to stay…"

"I…You…."

"I asked you to stay, I want you to stay…but you left anyway."

"I came back."

"Who…..Who made you?"

"You."

"Liar," she sniffed.

"Come here," he said pulling her to him, "You are enough. You're more than enough. The only reason I was leaving was you, because I couldn't….I can't watch while you marry Colin. I can't do it….and please you can't ask me to."

"I'm not," said Lily pulling away from James.

"Thank you."

"I mean I'm not getting married," said Lily holding up her hand, "I spoke to Colin this morning, I told him I couldn't marry him. We broke up, he wanted more and I couldn't give it to him."

"You did the right thing," said James, "If you were hesitating that much, then you couldn't have stood up and said til death to us part to him."

"I guess," she shrugged.

"Are you alright? About the break up I mean"

"Hmmmmm not really. He was a great, funny, kind, sweet man that loved me….and I hurt him. I didn't mean to but I did."

"It's best for him in the long run," said James. "I'm not just saying that because….of what I said last night."

"I know," said Lily, "Did you mean….you know last night…"

"Every word."

"Oh….why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"I just….I hurt you so badly before. I didn't have any right to tell you that. I thought Colin made you happy, and I just want you to be happy even if it's not with me. So I sat back and let you be happy."

"Then…why now?"

"He asked you to marry him. To be his wife, but….you're my wife…"

"I'm not your wife anymore, I haven't been for three years."

"In my heart you're still my wife, you'll always be my wife. I know I broke those vows in the worst possible way, but I knew I'd love you forever and that is one part of those vows I have kept and always will."

"I never knew…" Lily whispered.

"I know…I should have told you sooner but when I saw you again at the meeting. I couldn't risk you leaving again, it was better to have you in my life as a friend than not at all…because the two years that you were gone I just seemed to exist…I didn't feel like I was living I was just going through the motions….It's you that makes me me. When you're not here I'm…nothing."

"This….it's just so much to take in," sighed Lily, "And I'm just so tired…"

"I know, you look exhausted. Were you up all night?"

"Pretty much."

"You need to rest then," said James kindly, "You should go to sleep."

"If I do, when I wake up…will you be here?"

"Yes, I'll be here when you wake up I promise"

"Okay," said Lily lying down.

"Okay," said James lying down next to her.

"Are you going to Edinburgh tomorrow?"

"No, I'm not going to Edinburgh at all, unless you want me to."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Then I won't"

"Good," said Lily rolling over and placing her head on his chest and falling asleep.