It was the morning after the ball. James was at Lily's flat. She was still asleep and he was lying next to her watching her sleep. Elated didn't even begin to describe how he felt at that moment. He was lying next to her, watching Lily sleep just like he had done the last time they had slept together, except this time was so much different. He knew she wouldn't feel guilty when she woke up, and she wouldn't hate him. In fact, he was even allowed to hold her, kiss her, and love her again.
He leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"Uh…not now Colin…let me wake up first…" Lily grumbled, rolling over.
"Colin?" whispered James, sounding hurt. "Colin? You thought I was him?"
"Huh…what? James…" said Lily, suddenly waking up and sitting straight up.
"Now you know my name," James huffed, getting out of bed.
"Oh James don't be mad, it was just a slip of the tongue. I was half asleep," groaned Lily, following James into the living room.
"Yeah right," said James stiffly, as he pulled on his clothes.
"What are you doing?" sighed Lily.
"Going home to get changed before work," he snapped.
"James…don't be angry…"
"What else am I meant to be? You called me your ex boyfriend's name, the one that proposed to you a month ago!" James shouted.
"I'm sorry!"
"Right," said James, "I'm off."
Before Lily could say anything or stop him he had stormed out the front door.
---------------------------------------
"Hey, are you okay?" Remus asked Lily.
She was at headquarters looking for James, because the Order was having a meeting which was about to start. Lily hadn't had a chance to talk to James that day.
"Yeah, I just need to talk to James," she said, craning her neck to look around for James. "We had a bit of a fight this morning, and now he isn't speaking to me."
"What did you do? He never stops speaking to you," said Remus.
"I called him Colin, in bed this morning."
"Ah…"
"Yeah, I was half asleep and it just slipped out. He heard and now he won't speak to me," sighed Lily.
"He'll come round, he always does," Remus reassured her.
"I guess," she sighed. "Come on the meeting is starting."
"Alright," said Lily, going into the meeting room. James was there. He looked at her when she walked in, then he deliberately looked away.
"James…" said Lily at the end of the meeting, as he was filing out with everyone else.
He brushed past her.
"Come on, you're going to have to talk to me sometime!" she said, catching up with him. He was heading towards his bedroom. "You're acting as if I've done something terrible! I didn't kill someone or cheat! I didn't sleep with someone else like you did!" She was starting to get mad at the way he was acting (now).
"That was a mistake," said James angrily.
"So was what I did this morning! Except mine wasn't half as bad as yours!"
"I thought we were past this."
"Yeah we are. I got past that, can't you get past being called Colin? It's not that big of a deal, James. So stop being such a baby and grow up."
"Grow up? You called me…"
"I know, I know and I'm sorry, but it was just a habit."
"Was it? Are you sure? Maybe it was a subconscious way of you telling me that you think you made a mistake. That you can't forgive me for sleeping with someone else, and that you do want to be with him again."
"Is that what you really think? That I am so stupid I don't know my own mind, that I don't know what I feel and who I feel them for?" said Lily, the hurt evident on her face.
"I don't know. Maybe," said James, not looking at her.
"If that is how you feel, fine," said Lily, backing away.
"Where are you going?"
"As far away from you as I can get. If you don't trust me to know what I want, then this is over," said Lily sadly, then she disappeared down the hall and out of sight.