Declarations of Love Chapter 20, a glee fanfic

Rachel Berry was sitting at her regular outdoor lunch table with Kurt Hummel, Mercedes Jones, and Tina Cohen-Chang. The only people missing were Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez, though it was no surprise that they were absent. Rachel and Santana hadn't had the nicest of breakups and Rachel could hardly stand to be around the Latina when it wasn't necessary for Glee.

"So how are you dealing with the whole Santana thing?" Kurt asked. Rachel shrugged.

"She asked about you the other day." Mercedes offered. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"That's great for her. She can ask about me all she wants. She shouldn't have cheated on me with that random whore she met." Rachel snapped.

FLASHBACK

Rachel walked into the convention center that the cheerleading competition was being held in. She wanted to surprise Santana and make up with her after the fight they'd had the night before. She turned a corner and saw her girlfriend making out with another cheerleader against the wall. "Oh my god." she said, backing up. Santana's head snapped to the side and her face dripped with guilt as she looked down.

"Rachel..."

"I'll just leave." Rachel said.

"Rachel, wait!"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" the girl asked.

"My girlfriend." Santana answered. Rachel shook her head. "Yes, Rachel. Please. I'm sorry." the Latina said, walking toward her.

"Get away from me!" Rachel yelled. Santana ignored her. "You're nothing but a slut! I knew I should have listened to Finn!" Santana stopped, looking as if she'd just been slapped. She'd been called a slut multiple times before, but she never expected to hear it come from Rachel. "I hate you, Santana." Rachel hissed. Santana backed away as Rachel glared at her.

END FLASHBACK

Rachel was jolted out of her flashback as she heard music coming from the loud speakers.

"Oh my god." Tina said. Rachel's head snapped to the side and she saw the Cheerios decked out in matching costumes running down the steps. Suddenly, Santana - with Brittany, Mike Chang, and Matt Rutherford following - walking down the steps as she started singing.

She aiin't she ain't you no she aint you
She aiin't she ain't you no she aint you
She aiin't she ain't you no she aint you
She aiin't she ain't you no she aint you

Just as she reached the little landing in the middle of the steps, Santana began singing.

You make it hard for me to see somebody else
I'm calling her your name yes mess up, cause I'm thinking about you
Its your fault babe, I never wanted us to break up, no not this way
But you don't understand it girl

Rachel frowned as Santana made eye contact with her. She'd made it very clear that they were over and Santana shouldn't even bother trying to convince her otherwise. Rachel made sure Santana knew there was no way Rachel could ever forgive her for cheating on her.

As Santana began doing the choreography, she began to get a little nervous. She knew Rachel was still very pissed at her, but she wanted the diva to know that her intentions were true. She hoped that what she had planned would help the smaller girl realize it. She knew that it would take a very long time for the Jewish girl to forgive her, but hopefully this was a start.

She touches me, I'm wishing that they were your hands
And when I'm with her it's only about the sex
With you I had a bad romance, and if I could just trade her in I would
Cause nobody can compare you noo

Santana mentally held her breath (considering she couldn't do it physically since she was singing) as Rachel's face barely began to soften.

Yeah, I think I better let her go, can't leave you alone
Baby ever minute I'm with her, all I want is you
I wanna leave but I'm afraid, that you don't even feel the same
Now I realize, that she ain't you, she ain't you

Oh no no no no, oh no no no
Na na na na na

She ain't you, oh no no no
Cause she ain't no she ain't

Rachel wanted to keep her hard exterior, but she had to admit that Santana looked incredibly hot. The Cheerios were wearing white short shorts, white tank tops, red tennis shoes and red jackets (that was the only way they could get Sue to approve allowing them to be out of their uniforms for the performance) with their hair still up in their ponytails (again, Sue's rules, though Santana did require that all the Cheerios had to restraighten their hair right before the performance), while Mike and Matt were wearing the same thing, only with jeans instead of shorts and wife beaters instead of tank tops under their jackets. They were also wearing red hats (Matt insisted on it and nothing Santana said could talk him out of it).

I've been sleeping out, for quite some nights now
It's not the same in my bed

Santana made her way over to where Rachel was sitting, preparing to do more choreography.

But if she found out what's going on in my head
It will be all bad, have me right back, but she don't understand it girl

Rachel glared as Santana straddled her, practically giving her a lap dance, as she continued singing. She could hear Mercedes, Kurt, and Tina snorting behind her.

Santana smirked as she got back up, dancing in front of Rachel as Brittany, Matt, and Mike joined her.

Yeah, I think I better let her go, can't leave you alone
Baby... I'm with her, all I want is you
I wanna leave but I'm afraid, that you don't even feel the same
Now I realize, that she ain't you, she ain't you

Oh no no no no, oh no no no
Na na na na na

She ain't you, oh no no no
Cause she ain't no she ain't

Rachel looked anywhere but at Santana as the Latina finished up her song.

I think I better let her go, can't leave you alone
Baby... I'm with her, all I want is you
I wanna leave but I'm afraid, that you don't even feel the same
Now I realize, that she ain't you, she ain't you

Oh no no no no, oh no no no
She ain't you, oh no no no
Na na na na na

Santana finished her song standing right in front of Rachel. "What'd you think, Rach?" she asked, catching her breath. Rachel looked up, shooting daggers.

"Did you think that by singing to me in front of the entire school that I'd automatically forgive you?" she snapped. Santana flinched at her tone.

"No-"

"Because it won't work."

"That's not what I was going for. I know I have to earn your forgiveness." Santana said.

"Well you won't." Rachel said, standing up and pushing past Santana, who quickly turned around and motioned for Artie Abrams to start the music for her next song.

Darling, I know your heart's seen better times
I know our songs had better rhymes
Before today
Darling, I guess I made the wrong mistakes
I understand if you need your space
Please take your time

Rachel slowly turned around and saw Santana walking toward her. She allowed the Latina to guide her to the table as she continued to sing.

Before you go away
So far away
You need to realize

Baby, it's not just you
You know it hurts me too
Watching you leave
With tears on your sleeve
Notice that mine aren't exactly dry
Baby, it's not just you
That's hurting
It's me too

I'm sorry
I wasn't there to catch the fall
I didn't hear you when you've called
All of those nights
Please don't forget the good days with me
I can make back the heart aching beat
When it gets dark and it's hard to see
I'll turn on the lights

Before you go away
So far away
You need to realize

Baby, it's not just you
You know it hurts me too
Watching you leave
With tears on your sleeve
Notice that mine aren't exactly dry
Baby, it's not just you
That's hurting
It's me too

I'm not giving up
You don't have to leave
I am willing to beg till I break my knees

Santana jumped on the table Rachel was sitting at and looked directly at her.

I believe in us
Don't give up on me
Girl, I know that you're hurting
And I'm sorry for the pain
I promise that I'll change
Forgive me
Forgive me

Baby, it's not just you
You know it hurts me too
Watching you leave
With tears on your sleeve
Notice that mine aren't exactly dry
Baby, it's not just you
That's hurting
It's me too

Baby, it's not just you
You know it hurts me too
We had it all
How could we fall
Baby I thought we would never die

Baby its not just you
That's hurting
Its me too

Not just you
Baby its not just you
Baby its not just you

Santana slowly got down from the table. Upon further inspection, she realized that Rachel was crying. She sent Artie a look that told him to turn down her microphone and only spoke when he had done so. "Rachel? Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Santana... why?" Rachel asked.

"I was an idiot. I've tried to say this in person, but you won't talk to me. I tried saying this over the phone, but you won't pick up. I've tried texting you, but you deleted and/or ignored them. I tried writing you notes, but you just tucked them in your binder after you read them. This was the only way I could think of after all of that." Santana said.

"Santana, you cheated on me with some random cheerleader that you met at your Cheerios competition. How do you think that felt when I showed up to surprise my girlfriend and I see her making out with someone else?" Rachel asked. Santana bowed her head.

"I know. I'm sorry. I was still upset about our fight. I know that's no excuse. I'm so sorry, Rachel." Rachel shook her head.

"You just confirmed my fears that you would jump ship and latch onto the first person you saw after things got tough for us." she said.

"I... you thought that?"

"How could I not? You're Santana Lopez." Santana was silent. "And the worst part was that I was so close to telling you that I'm in love with you." Santana looked up quickly.

"You're in love with me?" she whispered. Rachel nodded. "You're in love with me." she said to herself.

"I don't want to be. But I am. Dammit, Santana, I'm in love with you." Rachel said. Santana smiled.

"Rachel... I love you too." she said. Rachel nodded. "Does this... I mean can we..." Santana trailed off. Rachel nodded slightly.

"Never again?"

"Never again mi estrella." Santana said, kissing the diva.