"You're back early," said Lily. James had just apparated to her flat, but his shift didn't end for another 4 hours.
"Yeah, they sent me home," said James.
Lily was sitting on the sofa, going over a report. James was looking out the window with his back to her.
"Why?" asked Lily, putting her pen down. Something was wrong with him, she knew it was.
"I don't know how to tell you this."
"Just tell me," said Lily, highly worried now.
"I didn't have a choice, you need to know that. I couldn't say no, but I don't want to…" babbled James, still not turning round to face Lily.
"James, you're starting to scare me. Just tell me what it is," said Lily, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I have to go away," said James quietly.
"Away?"
"On a mission, undercover."
"For how long?" asked Lily. She knew that as part of his job, he sometimes did have to go undercover for a few weeks.
"I don't know, but they said at least 3 months."
"3 months," repeated Lily slowly, hating the way those words sounded as she said them.
"At least, which means it could be more like 6."
"6 months," whispered Lily, her chest feeling painfully tight. "You'll be gone for 6 months?"
"Probably," said James, turning to face her. She looked shell shocked. "I'm sorry, you know I couldn't say no."
"I know, but…" she said, still trying to wrap her mind around it. "6 months."
"It's a long time, I know," said James, running finger down her cheek.
"Undercover…that means we can't even write to each other, right?"
"Right."
"James…" said Lily tearfully, tugging on his arm and hugging him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," James told her, trying with all his might not to cry too. "If anyone else could have done it…"
"I know," said Lily, snuggling closer into his chest. "When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow night," said James, running his hands through her hair.
"That's…" she searched for the right word, shock evident in her face, "soon."
"I know."
"I'll miss you so much," said Lily, clinging to him.
"I'll miss you too. I love you Lily. Remember that and know that how I feel won't change no matter how long I'm gone."
"Okay."
"Come on," said Lily, pulling away and taking his hand.
"Where are we going?"
"To make the most of our last night together," she smiled, tugging him along.
------------------------------------------------------------
Don't wish
it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me
I
could honestly say
That things can only get better
"Make sure you come back in one piece," said Miriam. She, Lily and Sirius were at headquarters saying goodbye to James. He was due to leave in ten minutes.
"I'll do my best," said James, hugging his mother again.
"See that you do," Miriam said, using her infamous mock-stern voice.
"Love you mum," he said, kissing her cheek.
"Love you too, dear," said Miriam.
"Is it okay if I talk to Lily alone for a minute?" said James, taking Lily by the hand.
"Sure," said Sirius, nodding. He and James had already said goodbye. Sirius had made a promise to James to look after Lily and see that she was alright.
And
while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be
long
Before you and me run
To the place in our hearts
Where
we hide
James led Lily into his old room. He turned to her, and he saw that she looked as unhappy as he felt. In fact, her eyes were starting to fill up.
"Come on don't cry," he said, pulling her into his arms. "It's not like I'm going forever."
"It could be. You don't know that you'll ever come back," said Lily, her voice muffled.
And I
guess that's why
They call it the blues
Time on my hands
Could
be time spent with you
Laughing like children
Living like
lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's
why
They call it the blues
"I'll do everything and anything to make sure I come back."
"I know you will."
"There is something I want to tell you, and you have to let me get it out. So don't interrupt, okay?"
"Okay," said Lily, pulling away from him and looking up at his face.
Just
stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each
second
Without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man
Without
me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I
simply love you
More than I love life itself
"Now I don't know how long I'll be gone," James started, trying to keep his voice level and remember everything he had to say. "It could be months, it could be years. It takes as long as it takes. So although I love you—and I love you more than anything in the world—I know it will be hard on you. So… when I come back, and you haven't waited… if you find someone else." He sucked in a quick breath and continued, thinking carefully about the wording of his next few sentences. "I won't think any less of you… I mean I will understand… I won't but still… it's okay if you do. I want you to be happy, I don't want you to be lonely or miserable…"
And I
guess that's why
They call it the blues
Time on my hands
Could
be time spent with you
Laughing like children
Living like
lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's
why
They call it the blues
"Are you done?" Lily asked, smiling at how silly he was being.
"Uh…" he said, thinking about it. "Yeah I am."
Lily pulled his head down to meet hers, and kissed him as if her life depended on it.
"You listen to me," Lily said, mimicking Miriam's stern voice as she straightened James's collar. "I love you and I will wait as long it takes for you to come back."
Wait on me
girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply
love you
More than I love life itself
"I just… I meant…"
"I don't care what you meant. I am going to be here when you get back, whenever that might be. I love you and I don't want anyone else," she said, staring intently into his eyes.
"But…"
"James, I'm starting to think you want me to find someone else," Lily said indignantly, taking a step away from James.
"Of course I don't. But you shouldn't have to suffer…"
"I'm going to suffer though, because you're not here. But I can take it as long as you come back to me."
"You mean it?"
"Yes," said Lily, kissing him again. "You better be going."
"I know," he said, pressing his forehead against hers. "I love you."
"Love you more."
And I
guess that's why
They call it the blues
Time on my hands
Could
be time spent with you
Laughing like children
Living like
lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's
why
They call it the blues