"No," she stated again, stepping back from him, gulping back her frustrations at the situation. Looking back at Jimmy. "I'm sorry, I'm not…No."

"Max," Jimmy interjected. "You know them, you talk to them everyday. You know that there isn't something right with this. Her whole family is dead and she is missing. You're going to let that go?"

"It's not who I am anymore."

"Oh, it's who you are," Jimmy said. "And you know it. He knows it too. You're a great mom, but you're a hell of a cop too."

She shook her head again, trying to ignore the same pull she felt before. "Not anymore."

Kenny gulped, as she reached back and grabbed his hand. She's had my back for longer then I can remember. "She made her decision."

"Her decision?" Jimmy asked, looking at the death grip she had on Kenny's hand. "All of this was her decision? Look at your wife, for gods sake!"

"Honey?" Kenny pressed, as she looked away. "You have something to say?"

No, she thought, no, I can't do this now. The part of myself I buried for him because he asked me to. To be who he wanted me to be…I thought he knew me…the one person who really got me. I can't…It's okay. Raising our kids, being this person, I love the time with them, but…I promised him. "I can't breathe in here. Excuse me."

"Not a chance," Jimmy interjected. "Sit down. Both of you."

Max gulped. A fraud, she thought, they all know I am. Kenny is going to hate me. He knew me, how could he forget that? We've been getting back to a good spot again and…because I changed who I was for him. Ignoring Jimmy, she turned to face her husband. "Kenny, I…I think I need to do this."

He felt his heart freeze up in his chest, as he looked at her for a long moment. She's going to get herself killed, he thought, no regrets, that's what she said. That she was happy. My Max, he thought, my tough, strong, smart, partner, best friend…my amazing loving, sexy, caring wife, a fantastic mother…and she's about to jump back into this and get herself killed. "You think?"

"Don't," she said softly. "I can't do…I can't handle you freezing me out again. It physically hurt and…I can't live like that again."

He felt himself caving at her words. How vulnerable she looked. She's never vulnerable… "Max…I know, okay?"

"I promise I'll be safe…it's a one time thing," she trailed off, a little unsure of her feelings over it. "Please, I can't do this without you. We always made a good team."

"A one time thing?" he repeated, knowing that wasn't true. She'll be back into this, the line of fire, leaping first, looking later. She wants me to say it's okay, that we'll be okay…We will be. Look at her, tell her. "You're stuck with me, Honey. I got your back."

"It is a one time thing," Max repeated, turning to look at Jimmy again. "And I have some conditions."

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Max leaned up against the doorjamb, watching Lindsay sleep in her crib. My baby, she thought, is growing up so fast. Another one, do we really want another one? Running her hand over her flat stomach…we're so up and down lately. What did I just agree to do?

"You coming to bed?" Kenny asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"In a minute," she said quietly, watching Lindsay again for a few more seconds. "How could anyone hurt someone so little and helpless? I didn't know, before we had kids, that I would love them this much, that I could."

"I knew you would be a great mom," Kenny said finally, joining her in watching Lindsay. "I mean it, you're amazing with all four of them. You're everything that I've always wanted."

"I love you," she said quietly, turning to look at him. "But you have to trust me to take care of myself. I'm not 25 anymore, I've grown up. I'm not going to do anything to endanger myself, you or our kids. Please believe me."

"I trust you. You're not helpless, I know that…you get involved. You're passionate. It hits home for me too, Honey."

"I don't have any regrets. Kenny?" she asked, turning to look at him. "Are you okay?"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer. "You know I'm not. Seeing those kids? Ripped my insides out again. I miss him, Max…it wasn't fair, you fell apart, but were able to pull it together enough to go get the killers. I couldn't do anything."

She looked up at him. "Getting the killers got my sister killed. That wasn't worth it and…I can't do that again."

"What?"

She shook her head. "Caro would…Nate and Samantha would still have…I should of never of went."

"You never told me that."

She shook her head. "Everything happened so fast…we took them in, Lindsay, my stroke, this stuff with us and…I didn't have time to think about it…and…this…I know you want me safe, our family safe and."

"You listen to me," he said firmly, looking her in the eye. "You're not pulling the same crap I did. Max, what happened to Caroline isn't your fault and you get that out of your head right now. One of us has to be sane around here."

She hugged him tighter to her. "I'm scared, okay? I meant it, I need you with me in this. What if…You don't hate me?"

"You piss me off sometimes…I could never hate you, Honey. You're the other half of me. I got your back."

"It's a one time thing."

"Is that what you want?"

She looked up. "What?"

"You want it to be a one time thing?"

"That was a condition I set."

"You're a cop. That's what Jimmy kept saying to you…And he's right."

Max stared at him for a long moment, trying to make sense of her feelings on the issue. "You know I love being a mom? This time with them is priceless to me."

"But?" Kenny pressed, hearing it in her voice.

Now or never, Max thought, the things I don't want to tell him. "Work was important to me, you know that. Things changed, everything did, really fast. I miss it, Kenny, of course I do. This…I'm scared to do this. Because of Caro…and because I don't want to.. I don't want to resent you if I realize how much I do miss it."

"Max."

"I changed who I was for you," she continued, not holding it in any longer. "You knew who I was when we got married. I thought you were the one person who got me, who really understood who I was…then you asked me to give up, to be someone else, and that wasn't fair. We lost so much, and…I didn't want to lose you too. So I did what you wanted, gave up my career, became a full time Mom. I made the decision, I could of said no."

"You really regret all of this?" Kenny asked before he could think better of it. She hates me, I knew it. "Getting married? Having kids? All of it?"

"That is not what I said."

"It's exactly what you said."

"You think I regret getting married and having a family with you?" Max asked, stepping back. "Really? You're the love of my life, Kenny. There isn't anyone else I could ever imagine wanting to be with. I love our family."

"But you're miserable."

"I am not. I love being a mom…it's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. What makes it even better, is I get to do it with you."

"You're all over the place, Honey. What do you want?"

She took a steadying breath. "I don't know."

"I love you," he said softly. "I want you, I need you, to be happy."

She nodded, not trusting her voice anymore. "Lets just get through this first?"

He wrapped his arms around her tightly again. "Come on, lets go to bed."

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"She still have the goods?" Skeeter asked.

Thinking of the bundle of nerves she was that morning, Kenny nodded. "Yeah. Max knows what she's doing."

"She thinks they know something?"

"They asked her to find out what we know. That set off some alarms with her."

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I'm a terrible friend, Max thought, they're going to hate me. "Really?"

"You are out of it," Natalie sighed. "What's going on?"

"What?" Max asked, thinking of her wired necklace and looking over at her daughters playing on the swings. Stick to the story. "I'm fine. Really."

"Did you," Natalie trailed off. "I mean about Ann? Do they know anything?"

Do it, Max thought, summoning up that buried part of herself. "I don't know much…Kenny doesn't talk to me about work anymore, but…they don't have any leads. They need to find Ann, Nat. Her kids and husband were murdered….if she knows something, if she ran and is hiding…all they want to do is find her."

Natalie shook her head. "That's all?"

"It's like she fell off the planet."

"What else can you find out?"

"I could find out a lot more if you tell me what you know," Max said quietly. "I don't do cryptic well. She's my friend too, Nat. I want to help her."

Natalie shuddered. "I don't…do you think she killed them?"

Yes, Max thought, or she had a part of it. I can't…How could anyone? "There isn't enough information to know for sure."

"You didn't answer."

"I learned never to jump to conclusions. You want me asking questions, finding answers? I'll do it. You have to trust me."

"Of course I trust you, we're friends."

"Then what is it?" Max asked carefully. "We're going to help her."

"I…she's scared."

Crap, Max thought, crap. "Natalie? What is it?"

"Please? I can't…I promised."

"You can tell me."

"She didn't kill them, any of them…Paul, he…now that he's dead, she'll be safe?"

"Did Paul hurt her?" Max pressed. "Is that why she vanished?"

Natalie shook her head. "I promised her. Please, she needs to get away from here and her picture is all over the news. We need to get her out of here."

"Nat."

"You don't get it," she continued. "You don't know what it's like. It's obvious how much your husband loves you, your kids are spunky and adorable, your niece and nephew are delightful…your life is perfect. You don't know what it's like."

"My life is far from perfect," Max retorted. It was close for awhile, she thought, we're going to be okay.

"Your husband wanting to have sex all the time isn't even in the same ballpark."

She winced, well aware of the recording. "It is when it's what we do for a year to avoid actually dealing with our problems. This isn't about us, Nat, it's about Ann. If she's scared, hurt…what do you need from me?"

"Just like that?"

"It's been a long time since I've felt useful. She needs our help."

Natalie nodded. "Okay. Lets go."