A/N: Our team won 3rd in the state! Yay! Thank you to all of the many people that reviewed/added this story to their favorites I currently have all of the OC forms that I need, so, here's the list!

Zetsu: Sayuri Hayashi (20-year-old ex-ANBU from Konohagakure, Amaya's older sister)

Tobi/Madara: Cina Klien (17-year-old non-official ninja from Kumogakure)

Kakuzu: Koukyo Houtai (25-year-old jounin from Takigakure)

Hidan: Shouki Hisan (21-year-old jounin from Kusagakure, Kanari's older sister) and Kanari Hisan (18-year-old ANBU from Kirigakure, Shouki's younger sister)

Kisame: Yuzuki Asai (20-year-old Hunter Nin from Getsugakure)

Itachi: Aero Mikuzaki (20-year-old ANBU Captain from Moyagakure)

Sasori: Amaya Hayashi (15-year-old jounin from Konohagakure, Sayuri's younger sister)

Deidara: Meme Yamasaki (17-year-old chunin from Konohagakure)

However, if anyone wants Orochimaru, please ask.

Konohagakure: Three Bakas Meet Three Beauties

Sasori's POV:

I was the first to wake up the morning of our departures. I hate waiting and keeping people waiting, so I had set my internal alarm for 3 am. I did some last-minute packing of weapons and poison, took my small backpack, and left the base at about 3:15. It was still dark out, and would still be dark when I reached Konoha, so the border protection would be less than usual. Because, really, who would be awake at 3 am., besides me?

I walked, no, scratch that. I speed walked for about half an hour before I saw a glimpse of Konoha, about 1 mile away. At that point I slowed down my pace to a walk and masked my chakra.

I got to the point where I could see the chunin that were guarding the main gates. One of them was asleep and the other looked like he had stayed up for three days straight. I smiled at my good fortune. I took out two poisoned kunai and threw them directly at the center of their foreheads.

They both died instantly. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Zetsu popped out of a tree and walked over to where I was standing.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, somewhat irritated that he chose to go to the same village as me.

"We were having trouble sleeping. Your alarm woke us up." Both sides of Zetsu answered. I narrowed my eyes a tiny bit and then smirked.

"Fine then. You can come along with me, if you want. But I get the first pick on a girl."

"That's fine with us. We agreed to use my method anyway."

"NO! I only agreed to use your method to find the girl! Then I get my chance to try to get her to like me!"

"Shut up. It doesn't really matter." Both sides of Zetsu went quiet as we all heard someone clearing their throat behind us.

"Nice of you to join us, Deidara. You're late," I frowned, immediately recognizing the shape of the silhouette that could be seen against the blue light of the horizon.

"You didn't wait for me, Sasori-Danna," Deidara mock-pouted.

"I hate waiting," I replied simply before turning towards Konoha and walking through the main entrance. Zetsu followed me, his golden eyes lingering a little bit too long on the dead bodies. Deidara rushed after us, not wanting to be left alone.

Zetsu's POV:

The corpses of the two guards at the main gate of Konoha were still bothering me as walked down the empty street. They would go to waste if I didn't come back and eat them. I pondered this for a moment before deciding that Sasori probably used poisoned kunai, seeing as that was his specialty, to kill them and I didn't want to get sick. Especially not when trying to court a girl.

Sasori stopped suddenly and became tense. Deidara and I stopped and listened as well. There was this… noise… coming from somewhere a little bit ahead of us. All three of us masked our chakra and continued silently towards the direction of where the noise was coming from.

As we got closer, we could hear the individual voices more clearly. All were female. Sasori turned around to look at Deidara and I. Deidara had a small smile on his face and I turned my head to look at the lit up house at the end of the street before returning my gaze to Sasori and Deidara.

They both nodded. I smirked and we all jumped effortlessly to the top of the girls' roof.

"What next, Sayuri?" A happy-sounding voice asked innocently.

"Truth or dare! How 'bout it, Amaya? You up for a game of truth or dare?" A confident-sounding voice asked.

"Tch. Last time we played that game, I ended up confessing unbending love to Rock Lee. No way." A tired-sounding voice said.

"Come on! Pleeease?" The happy voice asked.

"Yeah, come on, Amaya! Pleeease?" The confident voice whined.

"Ugh. Fine. But none of your perverted dares, Sayuri. And none of your dares about gross food, Meme. I mean, really. I won't eat bugs. Ever." The tired voice protested. Sasori held up three fingers. As seconds of squealing girls passed, the three fingers turned to two, one, and finally none at all. Then we all dashed into the living room, through the open window.

Deidara's POV:

When we rushed into the living room with our weapons drawn and Akatsuki coats fluttering from the abrupt movement, there was a moment of silence before the shortest girl opened her mouth to scream.

I, thinking quickly, covered her mouth with my hand and pulled her towards me just in time to stop her from making any noise. I saw the other two girls tense and get into battle stances. They probably would have attacked us if Sasori hadn't pulled out a kunai and held it at the short girl's throat. Both of the other girls clenched their fists and grit their teeth as they stood up normally again.

"What do you want?" The tallest, and probably oldest, girl asked angrily.

"Sorry for crashing your slumber party, but we're here to take your virginity," Zetsu answered. All three girls were caught off guard with his answer. The girl I was holding started struggling madly to get out of my hold, fearing the worst.

"Stop playing games. Just tell us who you are and what the hell you want with us," the middle-height girl said in a deadly calm, but worn out, voice that reminded me somewhat of that damned Uchiha's younger brother mixed with Hidan. I smirked.

"Hey, Sasori, they're feisty, hm. That could be a good sign, yeah," I said, referring to the fact that we needed to bring back worthy girls. Not just some any old whore. The tallest girl's eyes got wide.

"Sasori…? That means… Akatsuki!" She pointed accusingly at us, confident that she was right. The middle-height girl's eyes narrowed and the short girl's struggling got even more desperate. Sasori smiled and pressed a pressure point on the short girl's neck, making her muscles tense to the point where she couldn't move.

Before the other girls could react, Zetsu pressed their pressure points as well. All three girls collapsed to the ground, paralyzed. Sasori got out his bingo book for Konoha and flipped through a couple pages. Once he was satisfied, he closed the book and smiled at the girls.

"They're all in here," he said, waving he bingo book.

"Good. I was starting to enjoy having them as company. And now all we have to do is bring them to the base and we can have them as 'company' every night." I looked at the girls and noticed things about them that made them stand out.

"I want her," I said, pointing to the short girl that I had been holding hostage earlier. She was about "5 '1" with jet black hair that went just a little bit lower than her shoulders, gorgeous hazel eyes, and wasn't anorexically skinny but definitely not overweight. Her chest and hips were just a little larger than average. She was wearing aqua blue pajama pants with neon yellow ducks and a solid white v-neck t-shirt.

"Sasori gets first pick because he got here first. I get second pick, and you pick last because you came last," Zetsu explained. I felt… oddly disappointed.

"I want her," Sasori said, looking at his bingo book again and pointing to the medium-height girl. She was about "5 '3" with pretty stick-straight silvery hair that went down to the small of her back, turquoise eyes, and skinny. Her smaller curves fit her smaller body well. She was wearing black and silver checkered pajama pants and a red tank top.

"Amaya Hayashi. Age: 15. Rank: Jounin. Completed 3 A-ranked missions, 6 B-ranked missions, 17 C-ranked missions, and 5 D-ranked missions. Chakra: None. Specialties: Unknown. Weapons: Unknown. Kekkei Genkai: Unknown." Sasori smiled and shut his book and smiled at the girl as her eyes widened.

"I want her," Zetsu pointed to the tallest girl. She was about "5 '5" with long coppery colored hair that was tied up in a high ponytail, caramel brown eyes that had green-blue splotches near the center of her eyes, and average build. Her chest was large and she had noticeable curves. She was wearing green and gold shorts and a white crop top.

"Sayuri Hayashi. Age: 20. Rank: ex-Anbu. Completed 7 A-ranked missions, 9 B-ranked missions, 4 C-ranked missions, and 21 D-ranked missions. Chakra: fire and wind. Specialties: Fire stream no jutsu, fire style: spiky ball, fire style: golden vortex, wind style: breath of Aeolus, wind style: whirlwind kick, wind razor no jutsu, and water style: healing waters. Weapons: Demon Wolf. Kekkei Genkai: Wolf Eye (enhances hearing, sight, and smell)." Sasori shut the book again.

"So… that means I get the girl I picked, yeah?" I asked.

"Ah, yes. Meme Yamasaki. Age: 17. Rank: chunin. Completed 1 A-rank mission, 1 B-rank mission, 19 C-rank missions, and 20 D-ranked missions. Chakra: fire and wind. Specialties: None. Weapons: None. Kekkei Genkai: None." Sasori shut the bingo book for the last time.

All three of us smiled at our choices. All of us were happy with who we had picked. We turned back towards the girls who, at this point, all had wide eyes and rapid heart rates.

"… Wait…" Amaya managed to choke out, fighting against her paralysis. "… My sword… I can't… Leave him…" I raised an eyebrow at her. Him? Who was she talking about? I looked over at Sasori. He had a stoic look plastered to his face, but I could tell he was hiding an emotion that he didn't want to be seen.

"Well then, why don't we pack some stuff for them, before we leave? I mean, we have time. It's only 4 am." Zetsu suggested helpfully. I looked at the girls again. If they hadn't been paralyzed, I bet they would be thanking him… Sort of…

"Fine. Which room is whose?" Sasori said without emotion.

"I'm… a guest. Look… suitcase," Meme struggled to say.

"Green," Sayuri said in a shaky voice.

"Black," Amaya choked out.

Sasori's POV:

I walked up the stairs and went all the way down the hall until I came to a black and white door. I opened it and went inside. Posters and art projects littered the floor and walls of the room, and, in the corner, was a small black and red bed with a black katana with a hilt wrapped in white bandages lying on top of it.

I grabbed a backpack off of the bedpost and quickly stuffed the sword inside. But not quickly enough to miss the odd symbols carved into the blade of the sword. I then went over to her dresser on the opposite side of her room and opened all of the drawers. I blushed and got a mild nosebleed at the sight. On the top of all of her other clothes were her lacy bras and underwear.

I stuffed a couple of each article of clothing into the backpack and headed for the door. But before I reached the door, I noticed a line of pictures in picture frames on her desk. The pictures started off as a girl and a boy (twins) as babies. The next picture was of the toddlers playing together. They both looked so happy. I recognized the girl to be Amaya. I looked at the next picture. It was Amaya and her twin on their 6th birthday, or at least that's what the banner in the background said.

I frowned slightly as I saw the next picture. It was Amaya going to her first day of school at the academy, but she was alone in the picture, and she looked extremely serious. As I looked closer, I could see the hilt of her sword sticking out of her backpack. Where had the sword come from? Why did she look so… stoical? I looked at the next picture. This was when she was about 11 and her whole family was in it. Her mom, her dad, Sayuri, and her. Her entire family was smiling, except her. Again, no brother. Again, she was holding the sword. Again, she looked dead-like.

What had happened? Without thinking, I took the picture of her and her brother out of the frame and put it in my pocket. Then I left the room and went back downstairs.

Zetsu's POV:

I walked up the stairs and turned into the first door on the right. Her door was painted a nice shade of green that reminded me of an evergreen forest during winter. I entered her bedroom and noticed a dark black sword made out of chakra metal almost as big as Kisame's Samehada with blood red fabric on the hilt propped up against her bedside table. I picked up the sword and made my way over to her closet. There I found a backpack in which I put her sword and some 'ahem' various articles of clothing.

I took one last look around her bedroom before deciding that Sayuri probably wouldn't need any more things than what I had already packed. Then I left the room and went back downstairs.

Deidara's POV:

As the other two guys went up to grab some stuff for their girls from their rooms, I was let to watch the girls because Meme already had her stuff packed conveniently into a small suitcase. But it wouldn't hurt to check her stuff, right?

I unzipped the suitcase and began rummaging through her clothes and toiletries. At the bottom of the suitcase was a photo of her and… the Uchihas? I stared in disbelief at the picture and read the caption over and over to myself "Cousins all together," was what it read. The picture was of her and Sasuke ganging up on Itachi, who looked very pissed off. I laughed to myself and put the picture back into her suitcase.

"I would've never guessed that you were Itachi's cousin, hm." I said to Meme. She worked her hardest to smile as a reply.

"You know, you have really pretty hair, yeah," I smirked and crouched next to her, taking a strand between my fingers. Her entire face turned red. I laughed at her response and stood up again. Then Sasori came back down with a backpack, followed shortly by Zetsu with another backpack.

"Ready?" Sasori asked.

"Of course," I replied. I picked Meme up bridal style and yelled 'Katsu!' causing a large bird made of clay to pop up and come to life just outside of the house. I set Meme's suitcase on the bird, but never let go of her as I climbed onto it's back. Sasori carried Amaya and her backpack over to the bird I made as well and kept holding on to her as I willed the bird to fly up and away towards the Akatsuki base. I didn't need to wait for Zetsu, because I knew that he had probably already taken Sayuri and her backpack to the base by traveling underground.

When Sasori, our girls, and I got back to the base, the sun had just risen above the horizon and we were all extremely tired. Leader came to inform us that Zetsu was already back and resting with Sayuri and that all of the Akatsuki members and their mates would have a meeting when everyone got back (and, for some, that involved waking up as well 'cough' Hidan 'cough' 'cough').

Sasori nodded and went back to his room with Amaya. I took Meme back to my room as well and plopped both of us down on the comfy bed. I cuddled with her (she couldn't cuddle back, nor do I think she would have, because she's still paralyzed) until we both fell asleep.

A/N: Oh my god. Longest chapter I've ever written. Never again. It took about 3 hours to write all of this… Anyway… Please R&R!