AN: thanks for the reviews. Enjoy the next chapter.
Chapter 4.
Paul woke up to the sound of someone retching, and he smirked. Bella was hangover and it sure as hell was funny to him. Just because he felt somehow sorry it didn't mean he liked her more. He stood up and stretched, and then started to walk towards the bathroom, before he reached the door his phone rung and when he saw who was calling he swore.
"Fuck Sam! I'm sorry I forgot that yesterday I should have phased…" He said hastily before his Alpha started to rant at him. "Something came up… rather someone and I was too involved to leave her side… if you know what I mean…." He added suggestively hoping to get away with it, there would be hell to pay if anyone knew that he was with Bella.
Sam laughed and Paul took a breath. "It's okay Paul; I know that fucking a woman always comes first on your list of priorities."
Paul felt hurt by the comment, but at the same time he could admit that it had been true for a long time. Sex was the only thing that had kept him balanced while phasing and killing vampires, it was his outlet. Still he wasn't so lame and Sam should have known better. But could anyone really say that they knew him? Being in his mind didn't necessarily mean that they knew him. "Well, you know me, add food before my duties and you've it correctly."
"It's okay Paul, just checking that you're alive and well. We'll catch each other in two weeks' time. Try to remember." Sam said seriously.
"Yeah, say hi to the guys." Paul replied and then the line went dead.
Paul turned towards the bathroom, he got in and took a towel, he put it under the water and then placed it on Bella's forehead. She was still puking her soul out. "You should have stopped me." She moaned. "I'm never going to get drunk ever again."
He took her hair away from her shoulders and touching them gave him a strange feeling, the softness and the texture were amazing. He sighed, knowing well that he didn't want to get even more involved with her. "Have you ever gotten drunk before?" He asked.
She threw up again and then answered. "Just once after me and Rosalie faked my death. That night thinking how much I was going to hurt all the people that I loved… well, let's say that I really drunk myself stupid."
Paul could sympathize with her, he had gotten drunk too the day before leaving La Push. Because it was one thing thinking of leaving, but it took guts to do it. She was brave in his book, and he didn't like that he was somehow starting to respect her. He noticed then that she had finished and he helped her up. Slowly they walked to the couch and he sat her there. "I'll make some light breakfast."
She gulped and nodded. "Thank you."
When everything was ready they ate in silence. Paul couldn't take that kind of intimacy anymore. Having breakfast at his place felt too… natural with her and he didn't like it at all. "So… how the hell did you manage to fake your death? And why?"
Bella sighed and then put her head in her hands. "I realized that no one could see my decisions or feel me. So I stated to think of a way to get away knowing that I would probably hurt them less if I died rather than trying to get back to Jacob…well I…" She took a deep breath. "Rosalie never approved about me becoming a vampire… so I thought she was my best shot at freedom. When I talked to her, she was unsure whether to be horrified by my revelation or to be happy. Being happy won in the end and she offered to help me. It wasn't going to be easy and she asked me to think seriously about it, but at that time I didn't see another way out. I did care for Edward, but I didn't want to die anymore." She said.
Paul thought it over. "There was no other way than fake your death… the Volturi would be pacified by it, the Cullens would grieve but be safe. But what about your father and Jacob?"
Bella turned to look at him, with her deep beautiful eyes. "If I turned into a vampire… do you think it would have hurt them less?"
Paul grunted, she did have a point. "Still, you could have asked Jacob's help. At least you could have told him that you were alive…"
"And what would have happened if Edward went to see Jacob and read in his mind that I wasn't dead?" She asked him, and he was starting to see the hopelessness of the situation.
"You really fucked up your life royally." He managed to say.
"At least I have a life to live, Jacob and my father have people who love them and the Cullens… well they'll get over it eventually, or at least get better."
"And what about your beloved leech?" Paul couldn't stop asking her.
Bella looked down. "I think Edward… well... he'll get better eventually. I know he loves me but at the same time he never wanted for me to turn into a vampire. He thought they had no soul and he felt a monster to condemn me to that fate, so probably at the end he'll feel better that I died rather that damn my soul."
Paul stood up and started to pace. "So the only way out was to die… I cannot fault your logic but how exactly did you succeed in fooling the Cullens?"
Bella hesitated a moment and then she pulled up the right sleeve of her top. Paul could see that the bite-scar was no more and instead there were two long scars starting from her wrist up to her shoulder. "When they went hunting I left the house writing a note that I was going with my car to the nearby town, when I was almost there I got out of the car and Rosalie arrived with… a body of a woman looking similar to me. Rosalie cut out my old scar and collected the skin and some blood. She… placed the body and the blood into the driver's seat; she then crashed and burned the car onto a tree." Bella was trembling while telling him the awful story. "I was in shock both with the blood loss and the realization that I was really doing it."
Paul took her in his arms and she placed her head on his chest. Then she went on. "Rosalie had prepared a fake ID and gave me a wealthy bank account, a new car and the little bungalow where I'm living… I left and after a week she contacted me through a letter telling me that it was a done deal. So here I am… alone, broken but alive. I don't… regret anything I've done… but I'm sorry that my dad, Jacob and Edward are hurting… I'm hurting too and I'll carry with me the weight of my and their pain forever, but what other choice did I have? If I went back to Jake… the Volturi would have come and after punishing the Cullens… they would have exterminated the pack…. I couldn't risk anyone's life once again."
Paul pulled her closer; she had been selfless for once. "Fuck if it doesn't suck being you Swan!"
Bella laughed shortly. "I couldn't have said it better. But at least I have a life to live; I can start from scratch and build my future. I owe it to Jacob… my humanity was something he thought was worth more than anything else…"
"Honestly Bella, I don't know what to say. I cannot think of another way to get out of that situation, but at the same time I feel sorry for your family and Jacob. They were broken by the news of your death… but I can see that it would have been a disaster if you came back…" He said, her situation had been hopeless and she had tried her best to get out of it unscated. Probably he would have done the same thing, but it was a lonely existence what she was facing. "Have you got any friends?"
She shook her head. "I meet people at the university but I just know them superficially, I'm scared to involve them in my dangerous life and at the same time I don't think I can allow myself to love someone else."
Paul nodded, he knew the feeling well. It was difficult being a non-imprinted wolf because he couldn't reveal his secret to a woman leaving him alone and unable to really build a serious and honest relationship. "This supernatural shit fucked up my life too."
Bella smiled sadly at him. "I know that you don't like me much, but I would really love for us to become friends. We don't have to see each other often but I wouldn't mind to talk to you sometimes."
Paul thought it over, he didn't want to get involved with her in any capacity, but at the same time he craved some closeness with someone. Since his father's death he had never let himself care for someone else but he was starting to see that by being reacquainted with Bella his life had already changed. "We can try Swan, but I can't promise you that it'll work."
Bella took a deep breath. "It's more than I was hoping for… thank you Paul."
He didn't know how to feel, when she was so close his judgment went awry. Shrugging his shoulders he moved away from her. "Get yourself cleaned up and leave Swan, I need to go to work."
She smiled softly and this time he could see her eyes twinkling. "Sure sure." She said and got into his bathroom.
Paul smiled at the closed door and then frowned. That little chit of a girl was too much too handle, but he liked challenges and he wasn't going to back down.