Chapter 3

Firsts

Oh dear God, why was I doing this? I was sitting on a bench, waiting for James, who had insisted to buy me, ahem, Leslie, her favorite candy from Honeydukes Cellar. I was meanwhile freezing my butt off in the cold autumn, and thinking about Melissa's words. James had been really sweet to me, ahem, Leslie, so far. Could his kind gestures all be an act?

"Cauldron Cake?" James popped up in front of me. I put aside my thoughts, and took the delicious pastry. "Perhaps we should get a table at the Three Broomsticks. It'll be warm there. Let's go," James instructed and took my arm. I gratefully took his arm and we headed off to the warm shop.

During the walk, I pestered James with questions. They were all somehow related to what Melissa told me. "So, is Camille doing okay?" I asked softly.

"Oh, um, yeah. Camille's doing fine. Um, we sort of broke up," James stammered in discomfort.

"What happened?" I asked shyly, "Not that it's my business or anything, but if it makes you feel better to talk about it…" I added quickly.

"Well, see, Sirius insulted her. It was just a joke, and it wasn't meant to be an insult, but she hexed him. Badly. Sirius is still in the Hospital Wing trying to get over the side effects of that nasty hex. So I broke up with her. Anyone who knows Sirius well, knows he wouldn't really try to hurt someone. Especially after what happened this summer to him…" James trailed off. I started to wonder what had happened to Sirius over the summer. "Either way, it wasn't right of Camille to react so awful, she could have told him to sod off, you know?" James asked me. I nodded slightly. Maybe I was caught up in the moment, but it was no excuse for not noticing the wooden pole I clanged into. My head started furiously throbbing.

"Are you alright?" James yelled in alarm. Only then did I notice some blood trickle down my nose. James mumbled a spell and my forehead immediately felt better. Another spell, and the blood disappeared.

"Oh God, that hurt," I groaned. This day was not going according to plan. James then lifted me off the ground and carried me to the Three Broomsticks. Why oh why did these things happen to me? Once again with the not according to plan thing.

James dropped me in a chair at the Three Broomsticks. He requested two butterbeers when the waitress came over to our table. She nodded and left us to our conversation.

"I heard you used to go out with girls quite a lot," I mentioned, and immediately regretted it. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it as a bad thing or anything!" I stammered.

"It's alright. You're not that used to conversations, from what I can tell," James insisted, "I used to, that is true. Then something happened and I stopped. See, someone said I was awful for being like that, someone that meant a lot to me," James looked down at his feet. I felt slightly sorry for him. "I stopped speed dating, and when Camille became my girlfriend, well, I guess I decided to try a long lasting relationship. But," James continued.

"But it didn't work out, huh?" I suggested, meaningfully.

"I guess not," James admitted, "But I think I'll find the right girl someday. She's hiding out there somewhere. I intend to find her," he added in. I had to admire his persistence. Maybe this boy wasn't so bad after all.

"I don't think you're all that bad," .I whispered quietly. James was being rather nice, and I sort of enjoyed being with him.

"What I don't get about you, Leslie, is you are in Gryffindor, yet you insist on being hidden. It doesn't make sense. There has to be some bravery in you if you are in Gryffindor. I am determined to find it," James stood up and ruffled my hair.

"Don't think of me as a pet, or experiment, James Potter!" I growled. Something inside me jumped and churned. I wanted to prove that Leslie was not a little 5 year old, and was not a puzzle to solve and throw away.

"You see? You have it in you, Les. You just have to find it," James noted. I stopped to understand and then chuckled.

"This date is truthfully going better than I thought it would," I admitted. James laughed.

"Come with me, I'm going to show you a very nice place. It's a bit far off, but it's worth it," James commanded, and grabbed my wrist. Then he pulled me out into the autumn air.

He was right, the place James had been talking about was beautiful. There were golden, crimson, bronze, and violet leaves everywhere. The trees were gorgeous, and the breeze was light and swift. I sat on a bench and looked around, "It's lovely!" I gasped. He grinned cheekily. "No really James, this place… it's so…" I tried to say.

"Romantic?" James smiled and sat next to me.

"Yes, I suppose, but what I meant was," I turned to face him but found instead, his face an inch from my own. "I," I tried to speak, but found my voice had abandoned me.

"You're sweet, Les," James grinned slightly.

"I don't know what you mean," I squeaked. He just kept smiling at me.

"Please don't be mad, but I think you are very pretty. It's too bad no one ever sees you," James sighed. I was pretty sure knew what was coming, and I didn't want it to happen. Mel had been right about everything. Potter had used me, and was now going to claim his prize. Every second his face got closer. Then the dreaded thing happened. He put his hand under my blonde hair and kissed me. His other arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I was to shocked to respond. Why was this happening? What was I doing! I will die now! No, instead of dying, I kissed him back. Eventually his tongue came out and I knew that I was kissing him for real. This was bad. Bad, bad, bad, BAD! As in not good, terrible, horrendous, beautiful, wonderful, lovely, perfect. Why I was enjoying snogging James, I had no idea. But what I did hate, was the fact that these were Leslie's lips, not Lily's. Wait, back up just one sec, did I just say I wanted to kiss James? Oh, who was I kidding? Of course I did! He was so nice to me! And he smelled like shaving cream and mango. Oh god, Lily would have to stay away from Amortentia, because his smell sure was attracting right now.

Eventually he pulled away. "You smell like vanilla," he smiled and I blushed. "I like vanilla," he added.

"Me too," I blushed again.

Oh boy, I had so much to tell Mel and Alice. From first dates, to first kisses, this would be a long night. But it was long, and I had all the time in the world. So what the hell, I leaned in for another kiss.

"How was it?" Mel asked me that night.

I didn't want to blurt out that somehow, Leslie aquired a boyfriend, James Potter, my sworn enemy, none the less, so I spared her the details and simply shrugged like it was no big deal, "Oh, it was okay, I guess."

"No, uh uh. Do you seriously expect me to believe that you went on a date with James Potter, and nothing happened?" Mel stared at me, "I mean, did he take advantage of you?"

I was stuck. I couldn't just lie to Mel. She knew how to tell if I was lying, so there was no point anyway. So I told her the truth. "Yes, okay! He took advantage of me! He kissed me, and I know it didn't mean a thing, but I liked it! Even though it was just to get over Camille, I still enjoyed kissing my arch enemy!" I practically yelled each statement. Mel was paralyzed. Who wouldn't be after Lily Evans' declaration of enjoying any contact with James Potter.

"Finally!" Mel giggled. What?

"What do you mean by that?" I wondered.

"You kissed him, Lils! That's what!" Mel giggled. "It's so obvious you fancy him!" Mel said knowingly.

"I do not!" I objected furiously, "Maybe a little," I then added sheepishly. "What do I do, Mel? I can't just waltz up to James and say I fancy him, after cursing him for years! I mean, he didn't even kiss me. He kissed Leslie, and oh Mel, what do I do!" I cried, and then buried my face in the covers of my bed. "What if he is using Leslie? What if that wasn't the real James, and just a way of making Leslie feel safe?" I sniffed.

"It's obvious, isn't it, Lil? You use Leslie to find out who James Potter is," Mel stated. That could work, I suppose. Maybe I would do it. Yeah, I would.

"Thanks Mel," I muttered. "Now I think I'll go back to bed. And I think I will do what you said. Who knows? I might have some good results."

I sadly could not do what I promised Mel. Practically all night I sat in bed, thinking about what I was doing. After all, I was not only being someone else, I was dating James Potter while being someone else. That would usually spell disaster, but right now, I felt oddly happy. I turned in bed a bit and finally took out my diary. Grabbing the quill on my bedside table, I opened the leather book and started scrawling down everything that had happened to me. My entry went like this:

Dear Diary,

I'll cut to the important parts- I slept in History of Magic (I was awake longer than anyone else- about 10 minutes. My new record!), was brilliant in potions and charms, had some fun in Hogsmeade, and I kissed James Potter, I KISSED JAMES POTTER, I KISSED JAMES POTTER! AND LOVED IT!

P.S. And I gave myself a new identity, did I mention that? I KISSED JAMES POTTER!

All my love,

Lily

I slammed the book closed and started chanting happily to myself, "I kissed James Potter, I kissed James Potter, I kissed James Potter, and I loved it," I sang quietly. Oh God! Then it all hit me. I just had my first normal conversation with the guy I am supposed to hate, went on my first date with the guy I am supposed hate, had my first touching moment with the guy I am supposed to hate, had my first kiss with the guy I am supposed to hate, had my first relationship problem about the guy I am supposed to hate, and last but not least, had my first party in my head about kissing the guy I am supposed to hate. Key words- supposed to. Not have to. Either way, that sure was a lot of firsts.