Short Interlude and Adding to the List

"Have you gone to the infirmary?" Hermione asked, fretting over the Boy-Who-Just-Escaped-Voldemort-Through-Stupid-"Logic"-Who-Also-Has-Too-Many-Hyphens-To-His-Name.

Harry panted at the thought of his newly hyphenated and elongated name. She watched him with narrowed, calculating eyes. He smiled brilliantly at her and patted her knee. "It's just a scratch, Hermione."

"You're bleeding!"

"Yes. As I said, just a scratch."

"…"

"… What?"

"Ronald."

"… Yes, Your Mistress?"

"WHAT?"

"HERMIONE! I MEANT HERMIONE!"

The two started bickering. Harry snickered at his friends and muttered, "Just kiss already," under his breath, but his muttering went unnoticed by the bickering not-couple. Harry pulled out his list and ticked off items three, four, and five with a grin.

"Not that list again," Hermione said, pausing their fight for a moment to berate Harry.

"But I have a brilliant idea!"

"Harry-"

"Let the man have some fun, Hermione!" Ron shouted. His voice echoed through the empty common room. "He was just a hostage! Let him have his therapeutic list."

"List."

"Sorry, Harry," Ron apologized sincerely. "Let him have his therapeutic List."

"Of Things To Do When Kidnapped."

"Yes, that."

"I'm not sure all of the words are supposed to be capitalized like that…" said Hermione, furrowing her brow.

"Hermione."

"Sorry."

Ron patted her head and smiled at her frown. "Good girl. Now, Harry, let us take a look at that List."

Harry looked up from his writing with a grin. "Sure! Take a look!"

Things to do when kidnapped:

( )1. Scream and cry hysterically. Cry in pain. Even when they haven't touched you yet.

( )2. Whine that you are missing your favorite TV show.

(x)3. Demand a phone call.

(x)4. Demand to speak with their supervisor. If Voldemort comes in, still demand for the supervisor.

(x)5. Demand to see credentials.

( )6. Start singing. Badly.

( )7. Complain about their unfair treatment. In a whiney, childish voice.

( )8. Pretend it is just a dream.

( )9. Repeat everything they say.

( )10. Insist that your doctor stated (with threats of bodily harm) that you are not allowed to do any strenuous activity.

( )11. Learn another language. Speak in only that language and insist you have no idea what they are saying.

( )12. Demand a room with a good view and the best room service.

( )13. Ask if they are gay/transvestites because they are always wearing dresses (robes). Go on to say that black is too dark for Lucius' skin tone.

( )14. Tell Voldemort that it is not Halloween yet, so could he please take off his mask/costume?

( )15. Give Voldemort the address of a GREAT wig shop.

( )16. Insist magic isn't real. When magic is demonstrated, shout "COINCIDENCE!" or "YOU USED THE INTERNET!"

( )17. Pick the most skittish Death Eater and stare at them. With a pitying look.

( )18. Complain about customer service.

( )19. Complain there is no vending machine.

OOOOO

A/N: Thanks to:

Item 12 Courtesy of BethWinchester97

Item 13 Courtesy of Sabaku no Sable

Items 14 and 15 Courtesy of xX KiRsTiiE Xx

Item 16 Courtesy of liobi's curse

Item 17 Courtesy of NarutoUzumakiBarrage

Item 18 Courtesy of Janelly Slytherin

Item 19 Courtesy of Mioniexx

And Bijuui9, since it won't let me reply to you:

Those are some good ideas! Haha, more than amazing, that's for sure. You should try to write a story using that list!