Here's chapter two, doodly doo, having life problems is fun, uh? Thank you two people for commenting. The rest of you are a bunch of bungholes and bullcakes. Anyway, to answer the majority out there – it doesn't NEED to be a Cell romance. Trust me, he's not romantic unless he's got ulterior motives. That's how Cell is. He wouldn't love. He's built out of logic, not feelings – unless they're carnal, like fighting. And yes, if necessary he might seduce man or woman to get them at a disadvantage. He's just a jerk like that. He thinks he's the coolest thing in the universe and that killing and terrifying others proves so. I'm a big girl and I know a little of what I'm talking about. But this is all just my opinion.

By the way, if I haven't mentioned it, I said I'd give another author rights to Bug Bite, but I think I'll take it up again myself. Does anyone want that?

Has anyone noticed how much of a dumb butt is? Just watch, I'll get my stories deleted for saying it. WATCH.

Anyway, for those of you watching, here's ...

Chapter 2

"S..SAVE THE-" He spluttered for an instant, then burst out laughing. Finally he contented himself to chuckle and calmed enough to form words in a single tongue.

"Save the world," he repeated, taken off guard, "You're asking the wrong guy. Heavens around us, your asking the wrong department. I destroy things, Lucy, dear. I don't protect them. Now, if you need someone to save the world, again, may I suggest the Z-senshi. Son Gok-"

"Son Goku is dead and doesn't care. Son Gohan is in high school and barely reflects on the pain of being fatherless. The senshi you speak of are harshly under-qualified for the work I would
appoint you to."

The room was silent for a long time. Lucifer had snapped at him, in something carefully bordering agitation.

Cell raised an eyebrow, undaunted, but spoke slowly and with clarity. "And...why are the senshi not qualified to save the Earth?"

"Because they're complete idiots." She blinked innocently, as though it was obvious. It was the kind of obviousness, Cell would later note, that wasn't spoken of except through the blunt statements of children. But for now, he smiled grimly, and laughed again, much more reserved.

"Ah, yes, I suppose they are. One too many blows to the head, I imagine. But what do brains have to do with it? Is the enemy strong?... Is there an enemy?" Magenta eyes searched her for signs of deception, but he found nothing - not the slightest tense of a muscle.

"There is something you must combat on Earth. Only a choice few can fight it. Only a sliver of the lovely population even acknowledge it. And it eats their souls away, day by day, away away away... " She waved her hand, drifting it about like a falling leaf, giving him loopy smiles.

"You're mad." He snorted curtly.

Lucifer giggled. "Tabun, chotto. Will you accept my conditions?"

He sighed. "I suppose I can help the world out a little before I blow it up. On a more serious note, you've told me near nothing about the nature of this undertaking."

"Ah, Cell...have you learned nothing...?" Eyes glittered mischievously.

He smirked uncertainly, inwardly disgusted at his lightness of heart in conversation. "You aren't going to tell me, are you? It's just part of your game, and I have to learn the rules on my own." When she smiled, he continued, lowering his eyelids some. "You're a strange creature, Lucifer, but very well. I very much want to be alive again. But uh...you're not going to turn me into a girl or something like that,
are you?"

"Ah, no. I thought about it. But that'd be plagiarism and probably get me attacked by rabid llamas. It's a good read, though. Seen it?" ((wink))

"I have not had that pleasure, no..." Cell seriously doubted he'd ever know what she was talking about.

"Mnah." She explained. Sipping again from her cup, she called for another servant. It was a bulky, well muscled giant of a man, though no giant to Cell. He had a shaved head with fuzz on top, and piercings on his lips, ears, eyebrows, and arms. The android noted that his shirt was probably too small for his torso, and perhaps he'd removed his sleeves for a feasible reason instead of a superficial one. The man did not close the doors fully behind him.

"This man givin' you trouble, sir?" The man cracked his knuckles. 'Sir?' Cell raised an eye ridge.

"He's Perfect, dearest Beauregard. Take him to the fitting room and get him everything he needs to get started. This man's going to save the snails."

"Oh...right, okay." He gave Lucifer an apathetic look. Then he looked at her meaningfully and made a gesture like he was scribbling on his hand.

"Oh! But first, Cell, you need to sign this." Lucifer caught herself and shuffled through papers quickly, then simply dropped them and went into her desk, fishing around. Finally she dug out an ornate piece of fancy parchment with gold and dark ink decorating the borders. It seemed to be something of an agreement.

For the love of himself, Cell couldn't understand a word of it. It was written in a language he didn't recognize and each symbol was more confusing than the last. At the bottom was a rather foreboding line, welcoming of signature. As Cell held the paper in his hand, focused solely on how it did not warm where he touched it because he was dead, she offered him a pen.

It was not a fountain pen, it did not have red ink. It was a ball point out of a cheap 3-pack. He could
recognize the brand. He didn't take it.

"You called me Lucifer. I never suggested it."

"You didn't reject it either." He growled gently.

"Why would I buy something already tainted, if I be him? Young friend, things are not always as they appear to be. In the darkest of places, there is always a light. Look." She gestured to the black syrupy air that surrounded them, then pointed to the light coming from his halo. When she had stood up, he could not recall, but she brought her hand down to his chest, poking it lightly.

"You can create light, survive in the coldest and darkest places there are..." She smirked, rivaling his previous one. "You needn't trust me. But you can afford to trust yourself. The light always wins over the dark."

Very uncomfortable, he snatched the pen and flashed it across the line on the paper. His name appeared clearly and neatly, with no fancy add-ons. The ball point on the pen smoked slightly from exertion, then fizzled. He did not hide his displeasure. "I have no intention of calling you master..."

She raised a hand for silence; he obliged. "I never asked you to. Simply show my servants courtesy... and mercy. Don't kill them, please." Her lips curved in another fretless grin, more malevolent than the serene, curveless smile she had greeted him with. He wondered if she ever did any real work.

Lucifer sat down and set the contract aside, watching out of the corner of her eyes as Cell left with Beauregard. The doors sounded out in the dark as they closed, and the Infinite nature of the darkness shrouded her once more. She began organizing her desk again, pushing all the papers back into her recycle bin.

Not one of them had the list of crimes she'd read aloud earlier. Most of them were blank.

"Even the deepest darkness is just an absence of light. It's the Shadows you have to worry about..."

She reached over to the desk lamp and clicked off the light.

Does anyone go on please! XP

Hochuuami/BioAndroid21