WARNING: This chapter get's a little mature. Forgive my italic formatting mistakes :P
Beast Boy couldn't force himself to go to sleep, every time he tried his mind flashed back to Raven's pained face. He morphed back into his human form and watched her sleep.
Granted, he felt like a pervert, starring at her and thinking the things he was; but no matter how much he wanted to look away or concentrate on something else he simply couldn't.
After about three hours he stood up shakily and moved towards the door, she wouldn't be happy in the morning if he was there, she probably hadn't meant what she'd said anyway...maybe he'd be lucky enough that she would simply consider it a dream...a nightmare.
He got to the door and opened it quietly, but the moment he stepped out of the door he heard a pained gasp from behind him.
Raven was awoken by the pain, so excruciating that she was nearly blinded, the energy punched against her chest, nearly threw her from the bed.
Beast Boy watched in horror; her skin had paled and the horrible protrusion from the center of her chest had returned, it's attack on her frail body had doubled in force.
The pain got stronger and lust spoke to Raven harshly, accentuating each word with a punch right through her soul, "Kiss. Him." The two words rang so clear through her head that she had no choice.
Beast Boy was now at her side, his hand moved to press soothingly against the mass of energy forcing it's way out of her, his other arm wrapped behind her back and supported her contorted, convulsing body.
"Yes…" lust hissed seductively inside of her head, "Don't his hands feel good, Raven? Don't you like when he holds you so softly?" Lust purposefully heightened her body's senses so she would have no choice but to feel and experience the human touch more powerfully then ever before.
Raven shook her head and lust ripped at her exhausted soul again, "Don't deny me anymore or you will pay dearly with your life, Raven, do not disappoint me." This malice in lust's tone was deadly, her barraging wore down Raven's strictly resolved defenses.
Horrified, tears slid down her cheeks and a new sob ripped from her chest violently. She couldn't speak but a silent "yes," formed on her lips and her eyes fluttered for a few seconds before closing.
Beast Boy was seconds away from rushing to find Cyborg when Raven's shaky, chilled hands moved to his face.
"P-Please…" Raven groaned and pulled him softly closer, his face inches from her own, she shook with genuine fear. She was afraid of more pain, afraid of being rejected...afraid that he would leave and she would be consumed.
"Please what Raven, tell me what you need and I'll do it...anything." He begged breathlessly, it was like a horrible nightmare that he couldn't escape...he couldn't stand to see her like this, in so much agony.
"You see, Raven, he'll do anything for you...let's just take him up on that little offer, shall we?" Lust laughed proudly, Raven grimaced.
Raven stared into Beast Boy's frightened and anxious eyes, only a breath away from her own. Her hands continued to shake against his face and her breathing was hitched and rapid.
"Do it." Lust impatiently lashed out, breaking small parts of Raven's mind in the process...those part would heal with time, they were small, but if lust got too eager she could do real damage.
Raven thought about refusing, even pulled away slightly, but her insubordination was met with a sharp whip against her heart and she shakily pulled him closer. Anything to stop the pain, I'll do anything, she screamed internally; the tears hadn't stopped.
Beast Boy moved anxiously and pulled her body a little closer, he wanted to make sure he was supporting her and not causing her more pain.
Raven closed the gap between then quickly and set her inexperienced lips against his. She was shocked and rigid because she didn't know what else to do...he was shocked and rigid because Raven was kissing him.
"Move you lips, stupid, you can't tell me that you've never seen people kiss in the movies…move something." Lust screamed in her head. I don't watch movies, Raven feebly argued, I don't have the slightest clue.
"Try. Harder." The pain hard returned so Raven forced herself to move.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and crushed his body closer to her own, pulling him down against the bed shakily.
Beast Boy's instincts took over, his mind, while previously distracted, was now clear and pointed...it had been so long since he'd touched a woman, and the fact that this perfect woman was Raven made it all the more enjoyable.
He pressed confidently against her fragile frame, settled on top of her with finesse and kissed her back roughly. His hands gripped at her full hips and slid slowly up along her waist as his mouth moved from her lips to her jaw and down her neck.
"Wrap your legs around him you imbecile, no one wants to fuck a corpse." Lust snapped angrily at her, "You virgins are always such a mess the first time."
Raven shook as she wrapped her slim legs around Beast Boy's hips, he pressed into that area of her body that no one had ever touched. His hands continued to gently caress her curves and his lips were planted firmly just under her jaw.
To Raven's shock the pain dissipated; her body, so grateful, relaxed completely.
"You've learned you lesson?" Lust laughed harshly, exasperating the edges of Raven's conscious.
Raven nodded very slowly and closed her eyes. She hadn't realized that one of her small hands had ended up twisted into his hair; the other was splayed against his back, pulling him closer, tracing the muscles in his back. Her legs had also tightened around his waist, a pleasant heat had replaced the awkwardness she'd felt before.
He wouldn't kiss her like this is he didn't want to. He'd have stayed rigid and run as far away from her as possible after her first inept attempt at forced intimacy if he'd thought she was disgusting. Now he kissed her with enthusiasm, pulled her closer, pushed her to respond even though she didn't have to slightest idea of how.
It was then this Beast Boy's lips returned to hers again…his actions gentled, one hand moved to rest tenderly against her side while his other supported his weight. His lips danced across her unmoving but not unwilling ones as his fingertips slid down her waist, played on the exposed skin of her tummy, and then continued down over her bare thigh.
He sat back suddenly, she could barely see him in the dark but she knew he could see everything about her.
Embarrassment flushed over her body quickly and she tried to unwrap her legs...his hands moved quickly and gripped her thighs aggressively, holding her firmly in place.
They simply starred at each other, his eyes glinted. Raven felt exposed and venerable and embarrassed and hot. She hated going from feeling wanted and unashamed to embarrassed and awkward, but there was nothing to hold her emotions down, they played wildly in her head and caused chaos.
He didn't move for what seemed like forever, Raven waited...hoping he would leave, but also hoping he would continue what he'd been doing just a few moments previous.
His hands finally came back to life and slid over the top of her thighs and down into her hips, "Raven…" they moved up again, this time dragging her shirt up too, revealing her heavily bruised midsection. He didn't look at the skin being revealed, he only watched her face, and once her shirt was up and over her head he glanced down only long enough to see the deep bruising…
His eyes widened and whatever arousal his body had retained was now gone.
"Raven..." but he couldn't finish, he moved away from her as if he'd been insulted...as if he were disgusted with what he saw.
Raven rolled over immediately onto her side, facing away from him, and wrapped her arms around her chest. Her back revealed more bruising.
Every time she even thought about letting him in he managed to wound her ego. Lust wasn't about to pass up to opportunity to insult her, "Nice job, if you ever want him to touch you again you're going to have to get on your knees and show him at least some level of skill...we're just lucky you're a little more adept on the battle field..."
Raven started to cry again. She now felt hate and worthlessness from two angles; both hit her in different, but powerful, ways. Why do I even care? She wondered, she knew she shouldn't...and yet she wanted someone...anyone to care for and love her at least once in her Godforsaken life. She was already disgusted with her existence, she didn't need Beast Boy to think the same.
He reached out to touch the wounds carefully, "Fuck...I don't know what's up with you but you need help."
She could only nod pathetically.
She felt him move the blanket to cover her and then his arms collected the thin woman into his embrace.
She needed space and pushed him away angrily, scrambling from his lap and resetting herself a safe distance away.
His sigh was sharp but he needed answers and wasn't about to leave without them, Raven sensed that and buckled down, "What happened to your body?" he breathed softly, she still couldn't see his expression but he could see hers.
She averted her face, "I can't heal myself right now, I'm not sure why...I just can't." She kept her voice emotionless and stoic; after all, he was accustomed to her monotone just in the same way she was accustomed to speaking in it.
"What about that thing coming out of your chest?" he breathed.
Raven sighed sharply, "I can't control my baser...instincts," she turned bitter then, "and you seem to be the only thing that keeps them from ripping me apart."
"Is that the only reason you kissed me?" he asked, his voice even lower.
No, "Yes. I don't know what I was thinking."
She knew it wasn't the truth, but she wasn't about to tell Beast Boy that anything she'd done had been because she wanted it, she refused to admit that she enjoyed the physical intimacy.
"You're a bad kisser." he joked...or at least it was meant to be a joke. He knew as soon as it was out that he'd made a mistake, her shoulders slumped in the dark and he wanted to say he was sorry...instead his words stumbled out as a lame cover, "I mean...you're not a bad kisser, you just didn't do anything."
"Do you really think I care what you thought?" Raven snapped back
"You kissed me!" Beast Boy growled.
She looked away, her voice came out pained, "I just wanted to pain to stop..."
Beast Boy stood up then and moved towards the door. Raven looked up and shock, "Wait, please don't leave!"
Beast Boy raised an eyebrow, "You clearly don't want me here."
Raven raised her chin, "You're right, I don't." Lust giggled from within her, "But I very much want him..."
This time Beast Boy was only half way to the door when Raven doubled over and gasped loudly, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. Beast Boy hadn't intended to leave in the first place, but he was shocked at how quickly it had hit her.
He rushed back to her side and pulled her up to him, his lips pressed soothingly against her forehead and his hands gripped her tightly. The pain ebbed and he rocked her back and forth, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I won't do it again, I don't dare do it again...I won't leave your side."
A/N:
Really long one. Might not get the chance to do a midweek but will try very hard.
Child who is cool: my purpose in life is to be intense beyond all reasonable belief jkjk
DarkFire: lol I know! who ever knew lust could quite literally kill :P
Kelly: I wouldn't want your life to stop! That would be dreadful, and I'd mourn the loss of a lovely reader.
Black Rose: I only wish I could draw because I totally would. If you can, knock yourself out! :)
Vampire: lol I hope this one can still be classified as "tasteful" I felt it was teetering on the edge a bit :P
-Kay