Weakness of the Heart
Chapter 2
Rule 1: Training the Mind
Really, why had she done that?
Sakura's emerald eyes swirled with emotion as she stared back at her light-haired friend.
"Ino, it was totally crazy. I don't even know why I had told him all those things."
Ino sighed heavily, taking a sip of her herbal tea. "Sakura, obviously, something inside you acted on impulse. At that moment, something wanted to tell Kakashi those things."
Sakura nodded. Ino was right. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe she was caught in the moment. Whatever the reason, she had opened up a totally different door between her and Kakashi. Things would be different… wouldn't they?
Ino waved a disregarding hand at Sakura. "Besides, Kakashi-sensei is Kakashi-sensei. He won't remember any of the details by tonight. You know he doesn't get caught up in emotions."
Sakura nodded agreeably. Ino was the perfect person to ask for advice. She always seemed to have an answer. At times she was boastful, but she was still helpful.
But really… what was she thinking? Kakashi was a physical man. He could help her gain stamina; he could help her with any jutsu out there. But this was a painful, lost love she was talking about. Her heart and mind were the only things that needed mending.
She could see it clearly now:
'Sakura why are you so slow today?'
'I am heart-broken sensei… it is hard to train with a broken heart.'
'So.'
Sakura shook her head hastily, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. I am such a fool… this is only going to cause me more pain…
"Besides, Sakura, I am worried about this whole dream thing. It seems a little… morbid. Maybe it is best you train with Kakashi. It might help distract you from… well… you know."
Unlike Sakura, Ino's love for Sasuke had diminished just as fast as it appeared. She had ruled it out as a childhood crush years ago. Speaking of Sasuke was much easier for her; but she knew how fragile her best friend could be about the situation.
Ino grinned devilishly. "And besides, you've got to admit your taijutsu has gotten a little… rusty."
Sakura glared daggers at her friend, crossing her arms defiantly over her chest. "And you're an expert I presume?"
Ino shrugged casually. "Duh! But that's not what I was implying, of course. I just think it's a good idea to get some extra training in. Kakashi-sensei is one of your best options for that." She paused, taking another sip of her tea. "I think it's time to finally move on, Sakura."
Sakura's anger slowly dissipated as the truth in Ino's words sunk in. She sighed, giving her friend an uneasy look. "M-maybe you are right Ino…"
Ino stood up abruptly, pointing a rigid finger at her pink-haired friend. Her cerulean eyes sparkled with pride as she shot the troubled girl a large grin. "That sounds better! See Forehead? What would you do without me?"
Sakura gave her friend an agitated glare.
"I think I'd be just fine, thanks…" She stated simply.
"Hm? Did you say something?"
"No… I didn't say anything."
Grabbing her friend by the arm, Ino threw some money down on the table. "Now, I think it's time we get back to the hospital Haruno. We don't want to keep our patients waiting."
Dragging her pink-haired friend close behind her, Ino stomped confidently towards the Konoha hospital.
Despite the massive amount of work at the hospital that day, only one thing continued to cross Sakura's mind…
I am destroying you and you don't even know it…
The pink-haired kunoichi sighed heavily, mumbling a few complaints under her breath.
It had been two and a half hours, and there was still no sign of her unpunctual sensei. She was cold, tired, and not to mention hungry.
She should've expected this. It's Hatake Kakashi— he'd be late for his own funeral if he had the chance.
But still, she was cold, tired…
Gruummbllleeee…
And hungry…
This is a waste of time. Why did I ever tell him about the dream!
Sakura cursed her actions under her breath, kicking an innocent rock beside her. She was a grown woman. What was she doing wasting her time waiting for a man that wasn't even her sensei anymore?
Standing abruptly, Sakura turned to leave, but, instead, ran directly into a warm, solid object.
After a few moments, Sakura finally realized that the warm, solid object had arms.
"Going somewhere Sakura?"
Blinking a few times, the pink-haired beauty finally realized she was staring directly at Kakashi's chest.
"K-kakashi-sensei?..."
The confused look on her face was instantly replaced with a stern, unforgiving glare.
"YOU'RE LATE!"
She stepped away from him, crossing her arms like a pouty child. "I am not a little kid anymore, sensei! I have important things I need to do!"
"Oh? If these things were so important, why didn't you leave earlier?"
She narrowed her emerald eyes at him curtly. Unable to shoot back an answer she quickly shifted the subject.
"Well, it is almost dark now anyway, how do you expect to train me without any light!"
He shrugged casually. "We don't need any light for this type of training."
She gave him a curious look as he pulled a dark-colored cloth out of his pocket. "Wha…?"
"Are you ready?"
She nodded apprehensively. What is this crazy man thinking?
Giving her a lazy smirk, he motioned for her to spin around. Her eyes shifted fretfully between his coal-colored eye and the cloth he held loosely in his hand. Finally, she slowly twisted her body around, her back facing the silver-haired jounin.
She let out a quiet gasp as the smooth fabric pressed against her eyelids.
Is he… blindfolding me?
Tying the fabric tightly around Sakura's head, he spoke up. "Don't even try to use your eyes… they will be useless in this session anyways."
She nodded apprehensively. Turning to face her sensei, she pushed her soft, rose-colored locks over her shoulder.
Kakashi studied his anxious, awkward student and smirked, trying his best to contain his laughter. She looked ridiculous standing there with that blindfold on. Despite the fact that her vivacious eyes were hidden from him, he could still see the anxiety pressed into the corners of her frown.
He chuckled softly. "Sakura, you act is if I am forcing you to kill somebody."
Behind the dark blindfold, she narrowed her eyes at him angrily. "Excuse me, Kakashi-sensei! But at this point I don't know what to expect!"
He chuckled at the agitated girl. "Cool your jets. This session is going to be easy. I promise."
Kakashi took Sakura's hand and pushed her into a sitting position. "Sit down…"
Sakura hesitated at first, but humbly followed the direction of her sensei.
"Wait… no laps around Konoha? No sit-ups or push-ups? What's the catch?"
He ignored the young girl's complaint, placing a small, delicate object in her hand. She froze for a second, but then began fingering the object gingerly, deciphering its existence.
Confusion etched her features. "Sensei… this is… a blade of grass…?"
He nodded. "Hai."
She shuffled the object back and forth in her hand. "What do you want me to do with a blade of grass?"
"Tell me about it." He said simply.
She scoffed, chuckling skeptically. "Are you kidding?"
"No… I am not."
She paused for a moment, unable to decipher what was happening. After a long, heavy silence, she chuckled and spoke up. "Well, it is an herbaceous plant from the Graminoid family, and its adaption to many different environments makes it one of the most versatile life forms."
Kakashi laughed. Her encyclopedic-like memory had always been humorous to him. "No, deeper than that…" He paused momentarily. "Come on, I figured my brightest student could pull this off."
She sighed. Deeper than that? What did he mean? She shut her eyes tightly for a moment, squeezing the small blade of grass in her hand. What did that blade of grass remind her of? Sakura slipped deep into the back of her mind, searching for answers different than the facts she had uttered moments ago. For a moment, the only sounds surrounding them were the crickets off in the distance and the soft inhale and exhale of their breathing. She suddenly felt at peace…
"It reminds me of… me"
Kakashi raised a pale brow at her. "Ah… how so?"
She smirked slightly. "Grass is always there, always holding up strong. No matter how often it is tread upon, it always does what it is supposed to. No one can ever notice its beauty or strength."
Kakashi smiled widely at his student, his visible eye crinkling at the corner. "Good…"
Sakura tilted her head curiously. "Now, how is this supposed to help me?"
Kakashi ignored her inquisitive question as he snatched the piece of grass out of her hand, replacing it with another lifeless object.
Sakura bit her lip as she ran her slim fingers across the smooth, metallic surface. "It's your Hitai-ate."
Kakashi nodded, watching the pink-haired girl as she pursed her lips together in concentration.
Suddenly a somber frown graced Sakura's lips as she quickly returned the object to her sensei. "It makes me think… of… Sasuke."
Kakashi slipped into an awkward silence as he glided his Hitai-ate onto his head, returning it to its usual, lazy position. His half-lidded eye studied the small girl as she shook with emotion.
Sakura chuckled uneasily to break the silence between them. "It's just that… all the hard work… all the dedication I had put into becoming a shinobi… was for him." She scoffed at herself disdainfully. "What a fool I was…"
She sighed as images of the dream flooded her mind, drowning her wishful thoughts and hopes… suffocating them…
Haruno Sakura… Sasuke was right… you are weak…
Ever since Team 7 had formed, Sakura had always felt like she was a step behind Naruto and Sasuke. She was the slow one—the useless one. At times, she felt as if her existence in the team was worthless… as if they would actually be better off without her.
Kakashi's languid, coal-colored eye fell to the ground as he preserved the silence between them. What to say? He felt like an idiot for offering to train Sakura. He was a man of very few words. He was very black and white compared to Sakura. Her mood was always changing—always radiating a different color.
What is it about that boy…? She can never seem to tear her mind away from him…
"Quit crying and stand up."
Sakura gasped at the dark tone in Kakashi's smooth voice. Standing shakily, she began to regret everything she said. "I am sorr-…"
Before she could finish, she felt a cold, sharp sensation on her throat. She reached her hand up to push away the foreign object pressed against her throat, but a bulky, strong hand grasped her wrist tightly.
"Quit acting so weak Sakura. A shinobi doesn't have time for wishful emotions."
Sakura gasped at his harsh words as he pressed the kunai deeper into her throat. Her mind raced as her heart stopped beating.
Letting the kunai fall to the ground with an echoing clatter, Kakashi turned his back on Sakura. After a long, mocking silence, he spoke up steadily. "I can help you Sakura. But you need to stop being so hard on yourself. No matter what you think, you are not foolish or weak."
Sakura shook with discomposure as she shakily fell to her knees
She froze for a few moments, letting the current situation soak into her mind. For some reason, one emotion arose in her mind as Kakashi's words echoed intrusively in her mind:
Anger…
She had no idea why, but she was absolutely furious. He hadn't said anything malicious so what triggered this rage…?
The petty sorrow slipped away from Sakura as she quickly took out a kunai and lunged at the silver-haired man. In a flash, he swung his right forearm up and blocked her.
She hissed in return, jumping back to reform her attack plan. But there was no use, the only thing driving her was pure madness; nothing seemed to formulate right in her mind.
With no regard to the obstructing blindfold, Sakura lunged forward again. Kakashi grasped her arm tightly, holding her at an arm's length away. She continued to trash and swing blindly at him, kicking and punching, throwing kunai and shuriken, or whatever else she could find.
Until, finally, her anger simmered into nothing…
She panted wildly as she dropped all of her weapons. They clattered to forest floor with an echoing percussion. Warm sweat trickled from her forehead, dripping on the soft grass below her.
She felt so… good.
Kakashi reached up slowly and tugged softly at the blindfold, letting it drift to the ground. The smooth fabric softly grazed her cheek as the wind carried it to her feet.
Sakura stared back at Kakashi wide-eyed, her breaths ending in short puffs. His coal-colored eye bore into her as a dense, painful silence enveloped them. Everything around them fell away; the only thing Sakura could see was Kakashi penetrating stare.
A flustered blush flushed Sakura's cheeks as she finally turned away from Kakashi. He shoved his hands in his pockets as a soft chuckle erupted from the silence.
"Ah… that's what I was looking for."
Sakura shot Kakashi a perplexed look. "What…?"
Bending over to pick up Sakura's weapons, Kakashi smirked. "You see, every shinobi has a driving madness inside them. It allows them to endure pain and suffering. It allows them to kill. It's what makes or breaks a qualified shinobi."
Sakura's jaw dropped slightly as her brows furrowed in confusion. Noticing her bewildered composure, Kakashi spoke up. "Most shinobi can uncover this madness through physical strain… but you… were a little different."
Sakura's body remained frozen as Kakashi spoke. She wasn't quite sure how to react. Should she be mad? Upset? happy?
Kakashi leaned forward, returning Sakura's weapons to the leather holster on her thigh. "To obtain your madness, I had to get you in a state of mental strain…"
All the pieces seemed to fall into place in Sakura's mind—the strange way he made her describe the blade of grass—the startling sensation she felt when he pressed the kunai to her throat.
He was manipulating her emotions…
He knew exactly what to do to push Sakura's mental and emotional buttons. A quality not even she had acquired.
She shot Kakashi an astonished look. "How… I mean…why…?"
Kakashi leaned forward, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You need to learn how to control that madness Sakura. Once you can control it, your emotions will contain themselves."
Sakura was astounded. He really was a shinobi genius. She never expected this. She came to the training ground today expecting another exhausting session in Taijustu skills; what she had faced was hardly the former. How did he know? Did he really know her that well? That thought frightened her a bit. All the years they had known each other, she always thought Kakashi was uninterested in what went through her head. She believed he only noticed the things on the surface.
Apparently… she was wrong.
A cold, bitter wind pierced through Sakura's thoughts, sending her crashing back to reality. She blinked her emerald eyes a few times, registering her surroundings. Kakashi stared back at her lazily, awaiting a response.
She nodded listlessly. "I… understand… but, how?"
He shrugged. "You'll see."
She nodded apprehensively. She trusted her sensei, but there was something so different about the way she perceived him right now. He didn't seem like the casual, impassive man she thought she had known so well.
Sakura shivered as the wind battered her small frame. She shut her eyes tightly and wrapped her arms around her body, attempting to contain the warmth. Kakashi tilted his head. "Come on. I'll walk you home."
She nodded slowly as she turned to follow him apprehensively.
Silence blanketed the two shinobi as they made their way towards Konoha. The silver moon danced on Sakura's face as she continually shot studying glances at the tall man next to her.
There was just something inside telling her that things were going to be a lot different now…