Sometime during the short drive back to Matt's place, Alex was finally able to allow her rushes of adrenaline and fear calm down to an almost-normal level and she gradually fell into a quiet bout of unconsciousness, unable to support her body anymore. She knew, she had always known, that if she had gone back home, this would've happened; but there was something, just this little thing hiding away in the shadows in the back of her head that had told her she would be okay. And that tiny little idea had overpowered all her reason and convinced her it was the right thing to do.
There was a dull, miserable aching in her ribs. 'You bitch, you stupid, stupid bitch. Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out?' he roared, kicking her just above the stomach, a sickening crack gracing the apartment. She whimpered, trying to curl into a ball on the floor, covering her torso so he wouldn't be able to do it again.
There was a stinging, burning sensation on her right cheek. 'Jack, y-you've been drinking. Please just go and sleep it off,' she begged, stepping away from him, getting close to running. Instead, just like in her dream, he advanced towards her until she was up against the wall. 'So, how's dear Matthew?' he asked viciously, sarcasm invading his tone. Alex tried to run, but his palm collided with her cheek and knocked her head backwards into the wall.
There was a deep crack in her lip. But that was too horrifying an experience to retell.
She realized, then and there, that she had only gone back because she was afraid of what would happen if she stayed with Matt. But for now, that fear was gone.
Matt's hands were gripped tightly around the steering wheel, and his teeth were clenched in a still remaining fury. There were tears pouring down his cheeks, dripping onto his shirt, and trailing down and over his lips. There was never need for violence in a relationship, and never a need for either party to be punished. He just never thought Alex would end up like this, so…broken, so horrendously damaged. But she was going to be fine; he wouldn't let her not be.
'Alex?' he asked complacently, looking over to ask her something, and saw that she had dropped off into some kind of sleep. He grimaced and diverted the car to the nearest A&E, deciding that she required actual medical attention this time rather than just his method of wrapping some frozen peas in a tea-towel. He wanted to help her, and look after her, and care for her, and live with her, and love her as well, but he didn't know if he could yet. He had told her he loved her, because in the heat of the moment what the hell else was he supposed to say? He thought he did, he really, really did, but he wasn't ready yet.
He was trying to be so confident with her but he was taking on so much with this…he didn't want to say "case" because that made it sound ridiculous, but this situation. He wanted to do nothing but help her and look after her, but he didn't know if he could. I mean, look at him, he was a mess just looking at her like this; what was he going to do caring for her for the next few weeks until she was okay again?
Luckily for him, the A&E was pretty close to where he lived (he had made sure he was in close proximity when looking for a London apartment) and so when he pulled up, she had only been asleep for about ten minutes. Matt pulled up outside the entrance and the sky was beginning to turn pitch black as the evening beckoned, and he looked over at Alex's sleeping form in the seat of his Ford Focus.
She looked just the same as she did a few mornings ago when she was tucked up beside him in his bed. He could not describe how strange that was waking up with his arms around Alex Kingston. He could vaguely recall her getting into his bed because, of course, he hadn't really been asleep, but she still surprised him when he woke up. The light had been completely extinguished when he awoke, but was muffled through the curtains so he could see her lying across his chest.
She didn't half look beautiful first thing in the morning.
He stared at her for a few moments, just sitting there, staring intensely at her and the injuries she had acquired in the last few days. The bruise across her face was a complete disgrace though, it was horrible and disfiguring and yet she still managed to make it look…beautiful, like it fitted her face. He hoped he would never see her sporting anything like it ever again though. In the end, he stepped out of his car, pulled her into his arms and carried her to the hospital, knowing this was going to be a bit trying for the both of them.
X – X – X
'Mister Smith, could I ask you to please bring Miss Kingston through please?' the nurse asked, popping her head through the door of the waiting room, where only Matt, Alex and another random thirty something man was waiting with a splinter through his hand. Alex was draped across an armchair in the corner of the room, completely lifeless, her head lolling on the arm of the chair, with Matt next to her, holding her hand, pressing occasional kisses to the back of it every now and then. It was okay really, they had only been waiting for a few minutes.
Matt nodded his head before first trying to wake her up. He softly murmured for her to get up in her ear, and the nurse smiled patiently, seeing the relationship between the two, whilst the other person in the waiting room recognized the actors and looked a little shocked, but continued reading a newspaper from four days ago (that's how he recognized them – front page and all that jazz) when Matt finally managed to wake Alex up. She looked extremely groggy and she groaned when he pulled her out of the chair and half carried her to the room.
The person watching just looked bemused.
Matt helped Alex onto the bed, lifting her up so she didn't have the opportunity of damaging her ribs even further. She smiled weakly at him, and quietly spoke to him whilst the nurse went to go and get some pain medication from the other side of the room. 'I must've been crazy to go back to him,' she muttered depressively, and Matt kissed the back of her hand and whispered, 'No Alex, you're not crazy, you're just lonely.'
The nurse interrupted, taking Alex's pulse, checking her heart rate and examining the bruises up and down her arms and on her right cheek. The nurse, a woman in her late fifties who was very calm and gentle (which Matt was pleased about – he didn't want Alex being put in more pain), smiled and only applied some antiseptic cream to the bruises and cut across her cheek, before placing stitches on the cut running down her lip.
'Okay, Mister Smith, could you please leave for a moment whilst we take a look at Miss Kingston's possibly broken ribs?' the nurse asked, brushing Matt, who was currently sat next to Alex, sat on the bed, aside and motioning towards the door. He hesitated for a brief moment before nodding and moving to leave, not wishing to be impertinent although he didn't particularly want to leave her, but Alex reached out and tugged on his sleeve. She looked at the nurse. 'No, it's okay, he can stay.'
The nurse nodded, and told Matt to go and sit on one of the chairs whilst Alex was instructed to lie back on the bed, which was smooth yet very uncomfortable, and remove her top so the nurse could properly examine Alex's lower torso. Alex looked at Matt, fear and nervousness patched all across her face whilst she removed her top, and he looked away to preserve her modesty whilst she flushed bright red, even though she still had her bra on. The nurse glanced at Matt, and saw how awkward the two looked, and she tried to send him out again, but Alex didn't want to be without him; not again.
There was no bruise where the pain on her body was, but by the way there was lump almost sticking out of her chest, which once pressed upon, was seen to be bone. 'I'm afraid you have got a fractured rib there Miss Kingston. I can only offer you a chest support which will keep the bone in place until it heals back into the right place. Is that alright?'
Alex nodded in approval, and the nurse exited the room before Alex just softly called his name and Matt ran over to her and hugged her from where she was lying, holding her as tightly as possible whilst she just choked in sobs over his shoulder. It didn't even matter that she didn't have her t-shirt on, and it didn't matter how awkward it was in the hospital room, but he understood that she needed him. God, she needed him right now.
When the nurse came back in about two minutes later, Matt pulled away from the weeping body of his co-star and stood next to her, his right hand on her left shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. The chest support turned out, in essence, to be like a cast, but softer. The bandages went around first, then covered by the sticky stuff which smelt like green tea, and then the rest of it, until, by the end of it, Alex's torso was kind of stiff.
Matt handed her back her top, and helped her to put it back on once the sticky stuff was dry underneath the harder bandages, and assisted her to standing on her feet. They both thanked the nurse, who wished Alex good luck in her recovery and saw them out.
Although she was on the road to healing now, she looked a hell of a lot worse now than she had before. She had two sets of stitches, one on her right cheek, the other on her lip, and although the bandages were not visible under her shirt, it was a lot more difficult for her to bend down to get into the car. The bruises down her arm were still on full view.
'I promise you Alex, I promise you now that I'm going to look after you. I promise this will never ever happen again,' he whispered tersely as he helped her out of the car, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand in front of her stomach to support her. She didn't respond, but allowed him to help her up the twelve flights of stairs until they reached his apartment. He had wrapped his coat around her whilst walking, and he let her into the flat whilst he ran back down to his car to grab her bag.
She sat in his apartment and waited what seemed like a millennium. Everywhere she looked, she could see him in the shadows, calling out to her, shrieking with laughter at her pain, and she was so taken in by these nightmares of her own imagination that when Matt placed a hand on her shoulder, she almost leapt out of her skin and started hyperventilating. She grabbed his hand immediately, and attempted to twist it around, trying to prise him off, but Matt quickly yelled, and shouted, 'Alex, Alex, its Matt. It's me; I'm not trying to hurt you!'
Alex released him from her death grip and whimpered, 'I'm so sorry. Matt, I'm so sorry.' She just couldn't get him out of her head. He plagued her thoughts and nightmares, filled her with fear in every waking second of her existence, and even now that she was safe with Matt, she felt like he was coming after her, like he was going to punish her yet again for defying him. 'Oh shit,' she breathed out, her voice high pitched and squeaky, 'oh shit, Matt, he's going to come after me and…' Her breathing became frantic and uneven, and her whole body began shaking unequivocally, her lips trembling against one another, her body going into self-destruct more.
He sat down next to her, and wrapped both arms around her body and kissed her on the forehead. 'Alex, you're okay. He's not coming near you ever again, I promise, he won't ever lay a finger on you ever again,' he muttered, his promises not exactly secure, but he was going to try with every fibre of his being to make sure she was okay.'
He tried to calm her down, but she continued hyperventilating loudly until he poured her a small glass of the strongest brandy he had and fed it to her so she had to stop breathing so loudly whilst she sipped. It took her a while, but in the end, she calmed down to the point where he could speak to her.
'What I said earlier Matt, about being crazy,' she spoke softly, unsure of the words she was saying and if they actually really meant anything, 'and you told me I was just lonely, it reminded me, what am I going to do about Salome?'
That was one of the things Matt loved most about her; how even though she was in agony and pain and wallowing in terror, her first priority and concern was not herself, but her daughter.
'You said Jack flew her over to L.A to stay with your mother?' Matt reiterated, and Alex nodded, confirming his statement and he continued, 'Well, leave it a few days until you're feeling better, and then give your mum and ring and make some suggestions about living arrangements? I mean I don't mind having the both of you here, and it could work with the schedule for Doctor Who and everything…'
'You're so sweet Matt, but I think I'll probably ask my mother to keep Salome until the divorce comes through and I'm…back on my feet and everything,' Alex said, trying to keep her voice strong but failing miserably. Matt tried to wrap an arm around her, but she shrugged him off subconsciously, pulling her knees up to her chin (well, as far as the bandages would allow her to), and tossing back the rest of the brandy down her throat.
He understood why she couldn't bear to be touched by him, why she had squirmed uncomfortably with the nurse examining her, and he wouldn't hold a grudge against her because of it. He watched as she shivered and quaked, her eyes just staring straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular. Deciding he shouldn't leave her alone, but shouldn't move her anyway, Matt grabbed the quilt from his spare bed and gently wrapped it around her whilst she continued to look anywhere but at him and mutter under her breath like a madman. He sat next to her, not holding her hand or kissing her or trying to hug her, but just watching her until he fell asleep and she was just left there, sitting uncomfortably on his sofa, terrified to the core of her existence.