Chapter Nine: A Loss of Control

Charles' apartment was on the university grounds, and was surprisingly spacious. If it had been loved more, it could have had the potential to become a nice home. As Charles threw his briefcase down, and sat on the sofa, flicking on the TV as he went, Erik took the opportunity to look around. Brown cardboard boxes were stacked in one corner, as if Charles had never bothered to unpack them, they were labelled miscellaneously, kitchen, study, bathroom. Everything was bland and seemed so very temporary, as if Charles expected to have to leave at any moment. The beige sofa on which Charles was sitting was also devoid of cushions, and there were no photos or personal touches anywhere. The place could have belonged to anyone.

"I don't spend much time here," Charles explained, seeing Erik's eyes take in his bare surroundings. "I'm either working or in London… But you already know that… Do you have somewhere to stay while you are here?"

"Well I guess I figured I'd just crash with you. I didn't really think this through," Erik admitted. He walked through the room, casually opening doors to the bathroom, and to Charles' bedroom.

After few a few more minutes of feeling awkward in each other's company, Charles noticed that Erik appeared to have had the presence of mind to bring his weekend bag with him. Clearly he'd considered that they had a great deal to discuss, even if he'd claimed he'd planned nothing. Apparently this was a conversation that would take more than just the one night, it would need the next day too.

It was mid-way through dinner that Charles decided to randomly bring up the conversation that they had both been avoiding since Erik's arrival. Erik knew that it probably took a lot of courage for Charles to find his first few words, and so in return he made no comment on the sudden change of topic. He knew that had it been him, he might not have been so brave and keen to share his secrets.

"I suppose I should start by telling you how I ended up at your club on Saturday then," Charles said putting his fork down, resting it carefully on the side of the plate. "Sometime ago Raven met this chap called John, he worked as an events organiser in London, and was hiring dancers for some production thing. Raven went to a lot of his castings… but to cut a long story short, he turned out to be the most useful contact we'd ever made, and eventually became our unofficial party planner. It was him that told me about your club, and got me and Raven in. Shaw must have found me through him, I might have mentioned him once…besides, he seems to know everyone, you've probably met him," Charles said. The rambling nature of his story kept Erik silent, knowing that eventually all the mysteries would be answered. He wondered whether he'd met this John, probably, Erik had used a lot of PR companies and agents in the past.

"It was John who first introduced me to Shaw, accidentally of course. We were at a gallery launch; I was looking to buy something for mother's birthday. At first I thought Shaw might be one of the artists, he knew so much about the paintings. We continued talking, then before I knew it we were out drinking, and… well, things just seemed to get out of hand, and then I found I was trapped," Charles trailed off into silence and Erik was left to fill in the gaps with whatever his imagination could conjure.

His mind created nothing that he wanted to consider for very long. His jaw tightened, and his posture became rigid. He doubted very much that Shaw had been there by accident, more likely he'd targeted Charles a while back and set the meeting up. But this thought Erik kept to himself, Charles didn't need even more to regret. It all seemed so very strange that all of this had been happening without Erik knowing anything of it. Charles' life was revealing itself to be increasingly complicated, and it had simply just passed Erik by.

"And…?" Erik asked almost dreading the answer.

Charles shrugged and kept his eyes down. There was a faint hint of a blush across his cheeks, and the tips of his ears.

"He made me promise to meet him again, and then again…" Charles replied, picking up the fork and pushing his last few chips around his plate. "I never thought he'd want to take it any further. I mean, I knew he was seeing other people. That was part of the attraction. I thought I knew where I stood, that there wasn't going to be a future. It wasn't meant to be serious, I never wanted that, and I thought he didn't too."

Erik waited.

"You're not looking for a relationship then?" he asked.

Charles' eyes met him as he frowned.

"Not with him, no."

Charles was slightly thrown by the question. He'd thought he had made it pretty clear that he had no interest left in Shaw, and in fact, if anything, found him threatening.

"I go out a lot. I lead people on and I take what is offered. So does Shaw. For a while, everything was fine, he thought he was playing me, and I got to continue doing whatever I liked… But the second I refused to meet him, that's when he changed. He kept calling, demanding to know where I was, whom I was with. I knew then, that whilst it was OK for him to be sleeping around, it apparently wasn't OK for me to be accepting drinks from strangers, or even going out at all. I didn't tell him that there wasn't anyone else, that was beside the point."

The frank way that Charles explained himself, made Erik's mind reel. Charles was obviously a flirt, the very subtle kind that drew you in quickly, and made you stay. Erik had no doubt that Charles could have a man emptying his wallet at the bar, and promising the world within a few hours. And that was without the use of his other more persuasive mutant gifts. But for all Charles tried to play down his feelings for Shaw, even to point of being blasé, Erik was sure that Charles was not so cavalier.

He was willing to bet that whilst Charles had been doing whatever it was he'd been doing with Shaw, then he hadn't been sharing anyone else' bed at the same time. He just didn't seem the type. In fact Erik was willing to bet Charles had been completely taken in by Shaw, who had the ability to win whatever he wanted.

Erik could feel himself growing angry again, a rage mixed with an unexpected fire of another kind. Towards Shaw he felt disgusted, that he could treat Charles with such disrespect. Pick him up and then throw him away as and when he pleased. To Charles he just felt confused, as to why he would ever involve himself with Shaw in the first place.

"How long did this continue for?" Erik asked, he could feel the metal fork in his hand start to meld with him. It's hard shape flexing with the vibration of his blood.

"About four months," Charles replied. "In the end I changed my number. That had been the only means of contact he'd had with me. He'd never asked for more, because up until then I'd always jumped when he called. I never told him anything about me either, I don't know, something in me just told me to be cautious. He didn't care either, just as long as he got what he wanted. When I said however, it was a different story. Much like you Erik, I let him believe what he liked."

Charles paused, he looked as if he was trying to gage how Erik was taking this before he'd decide to continue.

"He tried buying me at first, giving me gifts, taking me places he thought I would be impressed with. But I suppose as you've guessed, I'm hardly broke," Charles said with a small smile.

"Oxford pays well does it?"

"Yes, it does," Charles, answered thoughtfully. "Very well. But, my father left me a substantial fortune. Even with my mother constantly travelling the world, there is still more than I could ever hope to spend in a lifetime. So, you see, money doesn't really cut it, and it infuriated Shaw that I couldn't be bought. I realised too late that if I'd just given him what he wanted, it would have all been over by now."

"What do you mean? You'd just sleep with him for the sake of it?" Erik demanded, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Surely Charles hadn't been considering this. "If he ever found out he would kill you."

"I liked him once…" Charles defended sounding dejected. "Maybe it wouldn't be too bad."

Charles noticed that the fork Erik was holding was suddenly bent in half. He didn't remember that happening, he stared at it confused.

"So, say you went ahead with this most genius of plans, and slept with Shaw, you think he'd just get bored and give you up?" Erik asked, his voice was full of the fire he was feeling, sharpness rising through the tones. It held the edge of a warning, if Charles cared to listen. Erik knew he was losing a grip on his temper now. He'd already felt his own powers rising to the surface as the fork doubled over in his hand, melting like butter.

"He only wants what he can't have," Charles explained calmly. He didn't understand why Erik even cared. "I should have done it before. But I've been so busy running away."

"The hell you should!" Erik shouted. He stood abruptly, and the fork Charles held was suddenly and violently ripped out of his hand by some unseen force and sent flying with all the rest of the cutlery to become imbedded in the opposite wall.

Charles sprung to his feet also, looking terrified. His eyes had followed the sharp objects, and now he looked back at Erik with an expression that was more than alarmed. He took a hesitant step backward, the chair behind him scraping against the floor.

"You'll go back to Shaw over my dead body Charles, I mean it!" Erik warned as he slowly and deliberately walked around the table and towards Charles, who was now shakily backing away more urgently.

"What did you do?" Charles demanded sharply, his eyes darting to the metal now melting down his wall. The sight reminded him of the Hellfire Club, with molten metal moulded into impossible shapes, and the strips twisting and peeling from the walls, as if someone had called to it. As if someone had controlled it. "Erik?"

"You're not the only one who is special Charles. You want to know why you don't frighten me? It's because we are the same. I am like you, a mutant," Erik explained, his voice low and the tone predatory like his movements. As he spoke he continued to close the gap between them. "Only, unlike you, I am not frightened of myself. I am not hiding behind a mask. I am not trying to lose myself in the arms of dangerous men."

"Like Shaw…" Charles replied in a shocked whisper, as he suddenly found the wall behind him. There was nowhere else to run, nowhere to escape to. Erik had him cornered, and his heart felt as if it had stopped. His chest was so tight with gasped breaths, which in turn made his head spin as Erik leaned in close to him. Erik's hands were now either side of his head, his arms like a cage.

"Likeme, Charles, I am dangerous, and I have you now," Erik whispered, his hand coming down to touch the side of Charles' startled face. He watched Charles' eyelids flutter in confusion.

No wonder Shaw was so desperate for him; Charles was like the treasure box of secrets. Maybe unintentionally, Erik didn't know, Charles had kept him guessing too, for so long. Teasing him, appearing interested, then ignoring him. He'd finally shared his secrets in a night that had almost knocked Erik off his feet, and then run before Erik could react. But Charles obviously didn't see what Erik saw, or he wouldn't be contemplating giving himself away to someone as unworthy as Shaw. Someone who would disrespect him, and reward his attentions with indifference. Erik would never let that happen, there had to be a better way. It was no idle threat that he had made, he would never let Charles go back to Shaw.

Erik's thoughts returned to the moment at the sensation of Charles' nervous breathing against his hand. As he stroked the side of Charles' face his other hand moved down to his chest to hold him steady. Erik didn't know if he was being welcomed or not, he could never really tell with Charles, his face was so expressive at times, and at others, completely closed. The game they were playing now had no rules, and neither one of them knew how far they might go. But at least Charles could be sure, that whatever he gave away, it would be wanted, and returned.

Slowly Erik moved closer, unable to resist any longer, and pressed his lips to Charles' neck, to where his pulse fluttered beneath the surface. Erik heard him gasp at the unexpected touch and there was no denying that Charles reacted to Erik's touch. That his heartbeat became uncontrolled, and his breathing quickened, Charles was beginning to melt like metal in Erik's hands.

He felt Charles' hands touch his back, gently running down the length of him, stopping at his belt, his fingers hooking themselves under with caution. Erik continued to kiss Charles' neck with the gentlest of touches until he felt Charles' fingernails suddenly dig into his skin.

"You could make me stop at anytime," Erik reminded him as he planted kisses along his jaw. "You could make me do anything. Think anything… If only you stopped fighting with what you believe is right."

Charles replied by moving his hands to Erik's face, and looking into his eyes.

"I could do many things to you Erik. But I don't want you to stop."

The suggestion in what Charles had said, ran contradictory to the tone in which he spoke. It was the first frank-honesty of admitting his powers Erik had heard from Charles, and Erik spent a moment looking into his eyes. There was none of the guilt that had once before clouded those blue eyes, when his mutation had been mentioned before. Instead there was a bright spark of something, and Erik had the thrill of knowing that he'd been its cause.

It was all the permission he needed. Pressing Charles hard into the wall, Erik found he soon lost his breath. He kissed Charles with as much enthusiasm as he dared, always pressing himself in further, willing his tongue to defeat Charles' and push in deeper. But Charles wasn't as shy as he looked, and Erik found himself quickly becoming overwhelmed. It had been a long time since he had met someone who matched him move for more, or returned his eagerness with more ferocity than he was prepared for.

What had started as an attack on Charles, soon became a surrendering to him. Erik felt his legs start to shake, and he pulled back just in time to see Charles open his eyes and look up at him with a wide innocent expression, before it became darker and his mouth curled up into a grin. Before Erik knew it, Charles was gently walking them back into the room. Erik was surprised to find himself suddenly in the bedroom, his legs backed against the bed.

Charles was still pushing him, his hands on his chest, lower half of his body flush against him, as he relentlessly returned Erik's kiss. The next thing Erik knew, he was laying back on the bed, with Charles climbing over him, knees either side of his waist. Charles was so dangerously close to losing his balance, that Erik snatched at his upper thighs, his hands finding purchase, fingers digging in, keeping him from moving away. Charles wasn't paying attention to where Erik's hands were going, as his own were busy unbuttoning his own shirt.

"My God Charles," Erik gasped, as he watched him. Charles' eyes met his, and the bright blue had almost disappeared behind something darker.

Charles tilted his head slightly as he dropped his shirt to the floor. Seeing a slight smirk on Charles' face made Erik sit up, pushing Charles back until he was balanced just on Erik's knees. He felt Charles' legs slide back until his feet where touching the ground once more, then he leant in to return the same kiss Erik had given him before, slowly moving up his neck, stopping to bite the lobe of Erik's ear.

Erik wasn't sure he could have gotten any harder if he'd tried. His trousers were so tight against him that every time Charles shifted, Erik was overtaken by sharp sensations of pleasure mixed with the pain of being so contained. His hands travelled up Charles' chest, tracing the shadow of muscles across his stomach, appearing soft at first, but solid under his touch. His hand then slid down to Charles' thigh, again the muscles surprised him as Erik ran his hand down and then back up. Charles had always appeared so slight, but he was nothing like his innocent face suggested he'd be. He was lean, perfect, and his smaller stature only served to make Erik more protective of him. Erik could pretend to himself that he was the dominant one, despite the reality that Charles had him feeling out of control.

He needed to get a grip, literally, his hands were too empty and as they brushed across the front of inside of Charles' leg, climbing higher and higher, he saw Charles' eyes flutter closed. The thin material of Charles' suit trousers made sure that Charles could feel the touch all too keenly and he but it lip so that he might keep his growing need silent. Without warning Erik stood, taking Charles with him. With a sense of urgency, Erik felt his powers pulsing wildly in his blood, the metal on Charles' trousers slid away, pulling the material with them. Charles didn't move, just stared at Erik, his chest rising and falling with deep heavy breaths. His eyes drifted down towards Erik's belt, and watched dreamily as the metal moved slowly, before the belt slid away.

Erik stepped towards him once more, Charles snapped out of his hypnosis and started kicking off his trousers, just in time to find himself captured by Erik and pushed towards the bed. Feeling dizzy, Charles shuffled up towards the pillows while he waited for Erik to join him, watching him remove the last of his clothes. Erik's movements were too fast, or Charles thought his brain was too slow, as rather than being the promise of things to come, suddenly Charles felt a spark of apprehension.

This had suddenly moved very fast, and although he couldn't deny that when he was kissing Erik it felt right, there was something inside of Charles telling him to stop. He'd tried not listening, but it was growing louder. Suddenly seeing Erik's bare skin made Charles feel self-conscious. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been out in the sun, or to the gym, or...

"You look worried," Erik remarked as he started to move towards Charles, carefully pushing Charles back into the bed. Erik was looking into his eyes from above, and Charles was unable to hide the fact that he felt rather startled.

Erik regretting knocking Charles off his stride by using his powers, and calling his attention back from the haze of their kissing. He brought all the problems into the room with them, when they had been happily left out in the kitchen.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Erik promised, still looking down at Charles. That worried look in Charles' eye was starting to make him cold.

"I know," Charles whispered in return.

"You want to stop?"

Charles shook his head.

"No, that isn't what I want…" Charles said. But he didn't know what he wanted, or what to say. He didn't want to stop, he just wanted to pause.

Erik frowned. Whatever Shaw had done to Charles, it wasn't good. He realised suddenly that Charles had left out quite a few details. He'd made it sound as if he and Shaw had never gotten this far, and that if he gave in, Shaw would give up chasing him. Only it obvious that Charles had already been with the man, and simply meant that had he continued to be, then Shaw would have eventually lost interest. The thought made Erik feel sick. He doubted very much whether Shaw would have stopped.

"I'm not like him Charles," Erik promised. "We can start again another time. I don't want you to look at me like that."

"I'm sorry," Charles whispered, looking as if he expected Erik to be angry.

"For God sake Charles, you don't have to be sorry." Erik lay down and stared at the ceiling. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh and didn't dare look over to see Charles' face. But he was angry. Only it wasn't at Charles.

Erik hated Shaw, really hated him. He'd spoiled Charles. He'd made something that should have been exciting, become something that Charles felt fearful of. For a second Erik hadn't known which way to turn, continuing might have made Charles even more uncertain of his intentions, and yet backing off might send the wrong signals.

The again, Charles would be stupid if he didn't realise by now that Erik was interested. The fact that he'd just spent the last few minutes achingly hard and pressing into Charles' leg might have been a clue. But it was clear Charles was anxious about being used again, and although it kind of hurt Erik to think Charles didn't trust him, Erik was prepared to cool it down. … A little bit.

Charles reached across nervously and touched Erik's arm, gently stroking up to his shoulder. Erik closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down.

"Promise, you wont go looking for Shaw," Erik said when his breathing had returned to its usual pace. He turned to look at Charles and was glad to see he had some colour in his face now.

"I promise. I promise Erik."

They lay in silence for a moment. Charles closed his eyes and his peaceful face made Erik's hands ache to touch him again, to follow where his eyes were free to look. As his gaze touched Charles' arms, he realised Charles was cold. He pulled the covers over Charles, but remained as he was for the moment, letting the cold sap away the last of the heat in his blood.

"I should probably go clean up the molten metal in the next room," Erik said once the silence grew long. "Unless you're into that modern art stuff?" He heard Charles muffled laugh, and the moment of awkwardness started to disappear.