Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

Chapter 4

Submission and Acceptance

Standing in their bedroom, Isabella was surprised to find herself alone. She didn't know what she expected. Perhaps she thought he would be there, ready to dish out the consequences for saying what she had. A part of her felt horrible for it but another part was proud. Women had few rights and the freedom to speak their minds was seldom appreciated by their male counterparts. She was indeed alone though, and saw that he set one of her gowns out across the bed. Throwing the soiled ones into a basket, she dressed in the clean clothing and then wondered what to do next.

She didn't have to wait long, Edward strode in with a heaping tray of food for her. There were eggs, bread, ham, turkey, milk and tea. "This is too much..."

"Eat what you like. I was not sure...I think you like some of this..."

Not touching the tray he had set in front of her, she looked up at him. "I apologize for what I said before. It was wrong."

Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head, "You have every right to hate me, Isabella."

"Hey," she said, nudging his arm, "I thought we agreed on Bella?"

He sighed, "I've been...thinking...a lot. In the time you were gone, I tried to explain to my mother and father that this wasn't right..."

"Edward, I'm sorry for being such a burden to you..." she said, looking away, the feeling of loneliness coming back to her again.

"You aren't," he stated, clearly frustrated. His face twisted as if in pain. "Enough of this. Just eat."

"Please, I like when you talk to me..." she begged, sensing that he was slipping away from her again. If this was going to work in the slightest, they needed to communicate.

"I said eat."

With a heavy heart, she picked up a spoon, stirred her tea and sipped it quietly. He sat with her in silence as she ate about half of what he brought. "Please, I couldn't possibly eat more."

He picked up the tray and stood. "Don't ever run from me again," he ordered before walking out the room. Looking to the heavens, Isabella took a deep breath. Nothing made sense. One minute she did not deserve to be treated so harshly and the next that was exactly how he was treating her. She did not know what to do, what to say. He asked her to speak but then quickly became angry when she said something that he did not find appropriate. Needing to get these feelings out, the feelings that were weighing her down, she went in search of her composition book and began to write.

By suppertime, Esme and Rosalie had both been in to see that she was faring well. Esme apologized for Tanya's behavior just as Carlisle had, and Rosalie explained that Tanya had always been very blunt. It no longer mattered to Isabella, though. Throughout her musings to Alice, she decided that it was time to make a change. Verily, there was no way out of the situation at hand. He was right. They both had taken vows and even if she would leave, run away, or even be let go; it would still be wrong. No one else may know that they were married but the Lord would know and that was worse than the demeaning looks from all of Forks and Seattle put together.

No, running away was not an option, nor was begging to go home to her family. She would do as he asked of her and submit. Only this time, it would be trite and true. She had already accepted that her husband would not love her as he had loved Princess Kathrine but she had also accepted the fact that he was indeed her husband. That left her with no other choice than to be there when he needed her and to leave him when he did not. She would start tonight, as they got ready to retire for the night, doing for him what a wife should for her husband. She was going to learn to accept this fate just as she had learned to accept other shortcomings in her life.

~EA~

Isabella followed Emily to dinner that evening and realized as soon as she walked in that everyone was staring at her. Edward actually stood and pulled her chair out for her before helping her to load her plate. When he went about everything normally, everyone seemed to pick up on the implication that neither she nor Edward wanted to talk about the time since Tanya's arrival. Esme and Rosalie had already expressed how worried they were about her and she had even been told that Edward had stayed up in the hall the whole last night...never bothering with returning to bed. He was scared, Esme had told her. Scared that she was not going to return. He had not realized she was only a few rooms away in the same building.

She did have a hard time believing he was truly upset about it. Esme explained that they did not go looking for her right away, though Edward wanted to, because Carlisle had told him that she wanted space. When she was being told all of this, she just became more confused. The question of whether or not he would ever love her at all was the question that haunted her.

"Mother, would you mind taking Isabella into town tomorrow? She needs a few more gowns and I'd like you to take her to the quality dress maker. I do not care to even hear the price, as long as it is comfortable for her I do not care if it is the finest of silks.

"Of course, dear. Isabella, we're going to have such a wonderful day! I need to go to the general store anyway to purchase some tea. I finally get to introduce you..."

"Mother, I beg that you not overwhelm her."

"You can not keep her locked up here, Edward," scolded Esme. "Allow her to be around others."

When they were finished eating, Edward and Isabella retired to their bedroom. He had dark circles under his eyes and her head was still hurting. He sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands, and rubbing his face. Instead of staying silent and going about her own business, Isabella walked over and knelt before him. "Edward, please accept my apology for last night. If you were concerned..."

"If? You really do not think much of me," he snorted.

"Then I am very sorry for my behavior." Reaching forward, she slowly began to pull his shirt up. "Bella..."

She didn't stop after he took it the rest of the way over his head and threw it in the basket with her soiled gown. With shaking hands, she unbuckled his pants, feeling him tense. Without her saying anything, he stood and allowed her to pull his remaining clothes off after he undid his boots. Once again, he stood in front of her exposed, and though she was hurting, she couldn't deny the desire that she felt in her belly. She was still kneeling on the floor and he just stood there as if waiting to see what she was trying to do.

Undoing her gown, she let it slide down her shoulders and pool at her knees. She knelt in her corset, her ivory breasts slightly exposed. He was looking down at her, the desire she felt was reflected in his eyes. His erection was impressive and she tried to build up the energy to touch him. When her hand came up and she almost reached him, his hand caught her wrist. "You don't have to do this if you are not comfortable."

"You are my husband, Edward." What he had said to her the first night, that he expected her to act as a wife would, came back to her and she wondered if he decided against that.

He nodded, then, and she took that as him giving consent. Her hand wrapped around his shaft and she felt him tense up again, his knees locking in place. "Bella..." he breathed.

Having never even seen a man before him, she looked up at him with a questioning look. Having no idea what to do, she stroked him and watched his abs tense up. Looking up at him, the firelight giving his skin a warm quality, she realized once again just how beautiful the man was. He was watching her, his eyes wide, as if he was in total shock over what she was doing for him. The desire was still there but he also looked...tormented. She was looking at him, really looking at him for the first time. His emotions fully on display, she could tell that he was enjoying what she was doing but that torment was eating him alive.

Isabella let her tongue lick across her bottom lip, her mouth felt try and she bit her lip then. Edward began to move against her hand, guiding her at a different pace without making her do any of the work. She had just made eye contact with him again when he abruptly pulled away from her, turning away, he held himself. For the first time in her life, she watched what happens when a man climaxes and she did not know how to react. Edward pulled her up with his dry hand, kissed her forehead, and left the room.

Cold, she climbed under the covers, slid off her corset, and curled into a ball. She could hear Edward in the washroom and just wanted to drift off to sleep, having had a very emotional couple of days. Her body was not as willing, though, to let her mind escape. She could hear her heart beat and her entire body felt like it was restless. There was a wetness between her legs that she wasn't familiar with. Soon after she decided to turn on her back, Edward came in. While it was not very apparent, she could have sworn that she saw tears in his eyes. He walked over to the bed and gave her a sad smile as he took her body in under the lifted covers. With a hushed tone, he laid beside her and said, "I'm going to touch you, Bella. I promise not to hurt you but if you feel uncomfortable, you need to tell me."

He placed his hand right above her naval, she could tell that he wasn't looking at her, that he refused to look her in the eyes. The closer to her center that he got, the less she cared. By the time he got to her most private of parts, she was already almost writhing against the blankets. While she bit her lip yet again, she felt his fingers parting her other lips gently before running his finger inside of them. He was exploring and she was having trouble controlling her movements. Nothing had ever felt like this before.

Edward shifted then so that he could keep one hand between her legs, but because he was leaning over her, he was able to prop himself up with an elbow and use that same hand to capture one of her nipples. Her back arched then, feeling as though she now had no control at all. "Edward...Edward..." she was saying his name as if it were a chant. Then, she arched even higher, the covers that were over her lower half fell away as his fingers found her nub. She called his name one last time and his fingers began to move faster. A loan moan ripped through her as that was all it took. The feelings were becoming too much to handle and a few seconds later, just as she was about to ask him to stop, he pulled away.

She was shaking, and for the first time since coming here, it wasn't because she was cold. He brought the blankets back up and pulled her close to him. She could feel his erection again but he wasn't hinting that she needed to do anything else. While his arm was around her, she grasped his forearm to hold him there. Completely spent, she quickly drifted off to sleep, very sure that she heard him whisper, My beautiful, Bella.

~EA~

The next morning, Isabella slowly opened her eyes. Immediately blushing as she thought about the night before. "Isabella? Lady Esme is waiting for you in the dining hall. Master Edward has already left..." Startled, she turned towards the door to see Siohban looking at her with an apologetic expression. "Sir Whitlock will escort you into town but if you'd like to eat, come now."

"Er...thank you. I will be right there."

Esme was waiting for her patiently, combing Emily's hair and singing to her softly. "There is our Isabella. I apologize for waking you. Edward wanted to be sure that Jasper accompanied us and he wants us to be home before twilight. It has been getting dark so early...and it is not safe at night. Seattle is even larger than Forks, Isabella. With more people comes more crime."

"Is Emily to accompany us as well?" Isabella asked, concerned.

"No. She will remain here with her mother."

Isabella looked around for the others but no one was there. "Dear, I'll take you to him. He didn't want you to awoken."

Her head snapped up and she realized Esme thought she wanted Edward. "Oh...I..."

"Come, he is out talking with his father. He is having a...difficult...morning. Perhaps you are just what he needs to overcome this...I very much hope...oh, never mind, come. Emily, go find your mother, love."

Isabella opened her mouth to protest but she wasn't hungry either. If she argued about going to see him, she'd be forced to eat instead. Thankful that Esme was not thinking about food, she allowed her hand to be taken as Esme lead her outside. As they stepped out, Isabella contemplated what she had meant by the fact that he was having a difficult morning. She felt sick at the thought of him being upset about the night before and wondered if he hated it that badly.

Her husband was not speaking with his father, though. Carlisle was talking to Jasper in the front of the castle and Esme questioned them concerning Edward's whereabouts. Isabella did not need to ask. She knew where he was. Walking away from them, she followed the path until it brought her to the small cemetery. He was sitting in the wet grass in between Katherine's and the small tombstone. His shoulders were slouched over and she saw just how vulnerable he was. It was almost as if it were too intimate to watch and as she turned away, she heard him. "Isabella?" Turning back, she saw him stand and walk over to her. He looked like he was caught doing something he should not have been.

"I am sorry to interrupt. We were just leaving..." The guilt on his face made her bite her lip and say instead, "Please do not act like I would contest you visiting with them. For what may have been true about Tanya's harsh words, I am not here to replace her."

For once, he didn't get angry about her mentioning Katherine and he just nodded. Guiding her by the small of her back, he lead her towards the group waiting for them. Esme looked like she was in pain as she was smiling so widely and Carlisle looked pleased when he saw them walking together. Handing her a bag of coins from his pockets, Edward said, "Tuck these into your overcoat. Try to not draw attention to them. If someone approaches you, do not fight them. Let them take..."

"Edward," Jasper said gently, "they are in good hands. I swear it on my life."

Edward nodded again and helped Isabella step up into the awaiting carriage. A man she had never seen before road in front, controlling the horses. Jasper and Riley were on to large mares and would follow the carriage. Carlisle kissed Esme softly before whispering something to her and helping her into the carriage to join Isabella.

Edward started again, "Jasper, if there is a problem..."

"If there is a problem, I will send Riley for you. There will be no such problem, though. I promise you. We will return before night fall."

"Be sure that they stop to eat."

"I will. Now, we must be going if we are to make it back. Discuss with Emmett your own trip while I am gone and we will plan when I return tonight."

Edward nodded and stepped back, allowing for them to leave. Isabella watched as the bridge was lowered and they made their exit. Edward was watching the carriage intently, as if he could see into it as well as she could see out of the small window to look at him.

"I am glad to have this time alone with you. Away from the castle and the others," Esme smiled at her.

"Yes, it is sometimes nice to get away," Isabella agreed, knowing there was more to it than that.

"Isabella, we—Carlisle and I, promised to not interfere. I will say this, however. You have given our son a second chance..."

"Esme..."

"I know that things are hard right now. He has just lost Katherine and you, poor thing, losing your mother..."

"It's really..."

"I know that you may not understand or notice it now but when your father explained to us that there were no suitors for you back home, we knew it was fate. We knew, Isabella."

Isabella didn't try to argue this time, she just kept her mouth closed and listened as the woman confirmed her suspicion. This was arranged and Edward probably had no idea of it until her father had left to come home, already planning to return with her. No wonder the idea of children with her disgusted him, she truly was a burden.

~EA~

Seattle was considered more of a city than Forks. While Forks had a small market area in the center of their village, Seattle had many shops and larger homes. There seemed to be a shop for everything one could want. There was a tanner's shop which Esme stopped in for shoes, a small store dedicated to only fine soaps, and even a nursery which sold seasonal plants and seeds. They stopped at the warm, cozy bakery for a mid-day meal which consisted of soup and fresh-baked bread. It was truly a lovely time.

When they walked past the post office, Isabella wished she had thought to bring her letters to Alice but then wondered if perhaps that was not the best idea. Edward had asked her to keep what happened in the privacy of their bedroom to herself. She had told Alice everything...except for what happened the night before. Either way, she felt as though she was lying to him if she did send them. With a frown, she kept walking and decided to keep them to herself—at least for now. She could always send them later.

A dressmaker's shop sat on the very corner of the busy road and that was their last stop. Bolts of expensive fabrics lined the walls and they sold everything from mittens and caps to petticoats and cloaks. Many of them were embellished with little details such as beautiful buttons and lace. "Ah, Lady Cullen," a skinny woman with a pinched face crooned. She was carrying a little cushion with pins sticking out of it and wore far too much rouge.

"Hello, Aundrea. Allow me to introduce to you Isabella Marie. Isabella, this is Aundrea Webber, one of the best dress makers you will ever have the honor of knowing."

"Yes," the woman said arrogantly, "this shop holds any exotic fabric you could possibly imagine. We trade for them daily and each dress is tailored to fit one specific person. All the outfits you see here are merely to show you my talents. My daughter, Angela, is also rather talented...in fact...she is of your age. Perhaps you will meet her someday."

"She is not here?" Esme asked pleasantly.

"No. She has gone with her grandmother. The ball is approaching, after all. They are trying to make sure we are carrying enough fabric to adequately dress the town. Is this the girl who was to marry your son?"

"Yes. They were joined last week and that is why I am here. She did not have much when she came to us and we need to get her some warm clothing for the winter. We shan't have her getting sick."

"Of course not. Your poor son...what he has gone through. Verily, we must keep this beauty warm and comfortable for him. Come, let me show you."

They followed her to the back of the store and the woman pulled different types of thick material before showing her the different cloaks and gowns she offered. Isabella could not even begin to imagine the expense of these articles but Esme just reassured her all was affordable. "And this," the woman produced, "is the perfect color for her. It is fit for a princess..."

Isabella swallowed hard at the term the woman used but couldn't help but to be enchanted with the beautiful cloak. It was a beautiful yellow, thick and luxurious, and probably very expensive. "We are looking for something fitting for her to wear to the ball as well. This yellow would be perfect."

"Why don't we do a dress like this for her?" The woman pulled another item off the rack, a beautiful, long gown. It is perfect for the cold weather and the sleeves will keep her warm. What do you think, Isabella? Will your Edward approve?"

She smiled but honestly didn't know if he would like it or not. She hated how much she did not know about him. "Of course," she agreed.

When the woman walked away, Isabella turned to her, whispering, "I was never told about the ball..."

"Oh?" Esme looked at her, surprised and obviously not knowing what to say.

~EA~

That evening, they returned just as the sun was setting. They had a few small packages and but none of her clothes were ready yet. They would be sent for when Aundrea Webber was finished making them. The men and Rosalie were discussing something when they came in and she saw Edward look her over from top to bottom, as if checking to make sure she was okay. According to Esme, the ball was something all of Seattle looked forward to each year before the weather could become truly awful. The only explanation Esme could give for her lack of an invitation was that Edward might not wish to go. Isabella was more than fine with that, but Esme was definitely not, insisting that they still purchase the dress. She wondered what it would be like to attend something so extravagant, to dress in fancy clothes, and mingle with the rich.

Sitting down, she saw everyone clearing the table of hand-drawn maps. "I do not feel comfortable leaving much later than this week," Emmett spoke, glancing over at Rosalie. "The child is expected soon and I do not wish to be away when he or she decides to join us."

"We can leave as early as tomorrow," Jasper nodded, "if there are no problems, we could be back as early as this Friday."

Edward nodded this time, "Tomorrow we set out. We will leave first thing in the morning."

Isabella listened to them while Rosalie and Esme chatted about the trip she and Isabella had just made. She thought about all of the time he would be gone, nearly four days, and she realized that she would be able to do as she pleased while he was gone—including sleeping in warm clothes. As the night continued on, more disturbing realizations hit her. The first one was that while she would be able to do as her heart desired, there really was not much for her to do. Since coming to Seattle, she had been with Edward or Emily the entire time. He kept her company if nothing else. The second disturbing realization was that she would miss him. The thought surprised her when she realized it but it was true.

As had become routine, Edward entered the washroom as Isabella entered their bedroom. She felt exhausted after the day's adventure but was not ready for sleep. Wanting desperately to tell someone, anyone about the beautiful things she had seen that day, she smiled when he walked through the door. His hair was disheveled and he wore only pants. He carried his shirt and gave her a small, almost nervous smile as he approached her.

"You are happy," he stated.

"I miss Alice and my father, but yes, I am as happy as I can be...in this...situation."

"We are leaving tomorrow for a trading trip. I will be traveling for a few days and will be meeting different people. Is there anything I can get for you that will make you happier?"

"No, sir. Oh! I forgot to tell you, there are still coins left from what you had given me earlier today. They are in my overcoat still..."

"I want you to keep them. In fact, I will be leaving extra for you for tomorrow. My father has been told to look after you and he knows the stops we plan to make. Jasper, Emmett, and I are the only ones leaving so that Riley will be here to assist if there are any intruders."

She just smiled. It always came back to her safety or her health. "Thank you for the coins, Edward."

"Did you find adequate clothing?"

"Verily. We will return to pick up new mittens, a cap, a cloak and a few plainer gowns...and a...a ball gown."

He frowned but said nothing before sitting on the bed to remove his boots. Finally, after a long moment, he cleared his throat. "My mother has told you then."

"She has told me that there is a ball. I told her not to bother with the dress, that you would have told me if we were to attend..."

He sighed, "I do not plan to attend, Isabella."

"Why?" Isabella asked, wishing he would call her Bella.

"There is no reason for you to become upset. If you want to go to the ball, then we will go," he said, obviously clenching his teeth.

"Edward," she said calmly this time, "tell me why you are against it. Then, maybe I can understand..."

"I have never attended a public event with anyone other than Kate," he said softly. She was shocked that he would mention her name and she was even more shocked that he used the shortened version of it with her.

"I am sorry," she said quickly. "I was not thinking..."

"No, you should get to go," he stood, frustrated.

"I am content with staying here at the castle..."

"I just do not know that I am capable of dealing with their stares. Those who do not pity me will condemn me. I can not bear to hear them condemn you as well. They may say as they please about me..."

"That is unfair. You have done nothing wrong."

"That is enough for tonight, Isabella. I will let you decide while I am away if you so choose to attend the ball. I will go for your sake if you are inclined to do so. Tonight, we need to rest."

"May I...may I ask one more question?" she asked softly, playing with the bedspread.

"Of course, beauty."

She smiled at that, the formality between them seemingly gone. "Did you not...enjoy...last night? If I did something wrong you must tell me..."

"You were perfect. Now go to sleep," he said, waiting for her to face the opposite wall so that he could wrap his arm around her and allow her to curl into him. "You were perfect."

We will be getting more glimpses of the way Edward is thinking in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one and the next chapter should be up sometime this weekend. It is really long, longer than almost every other chapter I've ever written. Please keep it mind that Isabella is still very confused about their relationship and Edward seems to be struggling just as much. In my experience in real life, people don't just all in love. Many times, they do go in almost-circles trying to decide if a relationship with a person is truly what they want. For the most part, this story will not be cut and dry. Leave me a review and I'll send you a little preview of this weekend's chapter. Also, you can follow me on twitter letzigprincess. Thank your for your continued support! LP xx