Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

Chapter 8

Inflicted

Isabella spent her day with Emily, collecting leaves and other fall things to decorate the dining hall with. The little girl was so innocent, so full of life, and had truly begun to grow on her. Isabella loved the little girl, just as she loved Esme and Carlisle. Just as she loved Edward. All day as she followed Emily around the grounds she tried to convince herself that this was a good thing. Jacob Black was who she had dreamt about for years. Edward was the only one who ever thought to actually give that to her, even though she was convinced it was hurting him to even consider it.

She could have Jacob. They could have children, which was something she had been thinking about after baby Keira arrived. She could live near Alice and be there for her father. It was the perfect life, the life she wanted before she was taken away to be married off to a man she did not know a thing about. So, all day, she also asked herself why she suddenly wanted none of that. She would give up seeing Alice, being with Jacob, and even her own chances of having a child, if it meant that she could spend the rest of her life with her tormented husband. Edward was wrong, fairy tales did not exist in the real world at all. Life was cruel.

Lunch was laid back and she held Keira so that Rosalie could have a few moments to herself. Edward seemed surprised when he walked in to eat and saw his wife by herself with the infant. Tears were in Isabella's eyes as she wondered if Rosalie, who she had come to consider a good friend, even knew what Edward had planned. He must have told Jasper last night after everything happened in their bedroom but before she found him outside. That was the only time he was alone—unless he had already sent for Jacob during those days when he refused to even speak to her.

She felt confused and wanted desperately to make him understand. She even felt horrible for pretending earlier that she would be able to leave him if he did not make things better. Now, she knew, this was just a lie she had told herself, it was her way of feeling like she had control but she now knew she didn't. Her heart was breaking.

"May I?" he asked softly, coming to sit down beside them at the table. He opened his arms to the little baby and Isabella gently handed her over, watching with caution to ensure the baby was not jostled too much. "She truly is beautiful, isn't she?"

Isabella watched him closely and she could clearly see regret on his face. There could be regret there for any number of reasons, not just the fact that she was to leave with someone else. She considered trying to comfort him again, to tell him that she was sure Garrett was beautiful too, but decided that it had not worked the first fifty times and it was unlikely to work now. So, she just smiled through her tears and nodded. "I'm going to miss her. I'm going to miss everyone here..."

"Even my mother?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow as if in disbelief.

"I love Esme dearly..."

"I do not understand how you are so willing to love. It seems that you see the good in everyone all the time. It must be..."

"Wonderful?" she finished for him, letting the baby squeeze her fingers tightly as she cooed at Isabella from Edward's arms.

"I was going to say exhausting."

"Tis not. I believe, Edward, that you love more than you know."

"So, who do you dislike?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"I hate the man who killed my mother...there are very few people that I truly dislike, though."

"You do not hate my Katherine? Tanya?"

Isabella was shocked at his first guess. "I would never hate her...I never even had the opportunity to meet her! None of this is her fault!"

"And Tanya?"

"Tanya grieves for her sister," Isabella shrugged indifferently.

"I do not know what all my mother has told you but...Tanya and I knew each other before I met Katherine. She is angry that I have taken a new wife so quickly...my mother thinks she may have hoped to be with me."

"Do you so hope to be with her?"

"No. She is too much of a painful reminder of Kate. They look very much the same but on the inside, Kate had acquired all of the tact between the two sisters...it was as if Tanya had none of it left for herself. They are not the same person, Tanya means nothing to me other than more lost family."

"Why are you telling me all of this now?" Isabella asked bluntly, keeping her eyes on Keira.

"I...I...apologize..." his voice trailed off. Siohban came in, carrying a plate of food for him. He thanked her and shifted the baby so he could eat.

"Have you had dessert? Siohban's cakes are delightful. Please, have a bite."

With a small smile, she allowed him to feed it to her from his fork. Of course with her luck he would start acting like a total gentleman just as she was to leave. The world really was cruel.

"Aunt Isabella! Can we play outside some more? Please?"

"Little one, let your aunt rest! She has been with you all day!"

"I do not mind, Rosalie, really."

Rosalie walked over to take her baby from Edward. "Well, fine, but I thought perhaps you wanted to spend some of today with your husband. I can keep her occupied..."

"You go too!" Emily announced, looking to Edward happily. "Please? I want to go to the field and look for worms!"

"You mean caterpillars," Isabella corrected her.

"Well, then, would you like to go Bella?" Edward asked, turning to her.

"I would like that very much."

"Come on, then. It is a rare day without rain. Let us not waste it."

~EA~

Emily skipped ahead as Edward and Isabella hung back, watching her from a distance. The field was still swampy from the night before but Edward assured Isabella that Emily had a habit of getting herself muddy...and that with a hot bath she would come clean. "It is incredible how much you feel for her, having only had her live with you for a few months..."

"I believe she was frightened when she first arrived here...and I was the first one to show her around and promise that there were no beasts to be found in my home. I guess she trusts me...and I do feel very strongly for her. My mother was right by thinking that this little girl could help me through a very bad time."

"Just as she was wrong about me helping you?"

He seemed to weigh her words for a few minutes before responding, "These past couple weeks, with you here, were good. I know they were not great for you but they were the best times I have had since..."

"I know. I'm sorry. I will not bring it up again..." she said, looking towards Emily who was currently letting a fuzzy caterpillar climb on her hand.

She turned to him and smiled, "I think she is happy. Rosalie is a good mother...and all of you of course make things even better."

"You will be a good mother, Isabella."

"Do not do that, please. Do not make this formal..."

"Were this another time, perhaps...maybe things would have been different...between us..."

"I do not have to leave, Edward."

"You do. There are many things that you have yet to experience."

"As do you."

They were quiet for a long time, just sitting on the bench and watching Emily play. A few times, Edward would run over to her and to see what she picked up, making sure it was something that was as harmless as the multi-legged worms she had been looking for. She watched the two of them interact and knew that no matter what she said or did, she had to go home with Jacob. Edward was not going to approve otherwise.

So Isabella sat there, wanting to remember him happy, like he was now. She swore to herself that when she tried to remember him, whether it be hours, months, or years from now, she would be able to remember what he looked like. She refused to remember him the way she had when he went away for those few days.

"Aunt Isabella, look!" Emily shouted, running over to her with another all black fuzzy caterpillar.

"I see, love, he is very nice!"

"It is a she!" Emily protested, as if the little girl could tell by looking at it. Isabella heard Edward chuckle as he stood beside his niece.

"My apologies, Miss Caterpillar," Isabella laughed, addressing the squiggling bug.

"Can I keep her?" Emily asked excitedly, not really addressing the question to either adult.

"She will not be happy here, sweet Emily," Edward said, then looked to Isabella when he realized the irony of his words.

"But I love her!" Emily cried, giving him the best pout she could muster.

"Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to let her go. Sometimes, you have to put her needs first, even if it breaks your heart."

Isabella closed her eyes then, knowing full well he was not trying to explain such emotions to his tiny niece, his words were meant for her. Trying not to cry, she smiled sweetly to Emily, "How about we find somewhere special for her to live? That way, she can stay here in the field and she shall never be far from you."

~EA~

They were just about to meet for dinner when the creaking of the bridge could be heard from inside. Edward stood then, Isabella knew he was expecting Jacob but he also always went to check when the bridge was being lowered, just in case it was someone they did not want to welcome. Isabella followed him, her heart slamming in her chest. She hated herself for wishing, just this once, that it could be intruders. She knew, even as Twilight was setting in, that it was Jacob.

After watching him ride for years, she just simply new the man on the right was him. The one on the left seemed a little slimmer and she realized it was one of the guards from the castle. While she had been expecting Jacob, she had at least expected her father to come with him. It was not customary that she should be traveling with Jacob alone. Something was definitely not right.

Jacob looked tired as Edward stepped forward to greet him and Jacob lowered his hood before offering his hand to him. "Master Cullen," he said with authority, shaking his hand. Though the feelings she once felt for him floated to the surface, they seemed toned down. He beamed at her when his eyes met hers. "There she is. 'Tis good to see you again, Isabelle."

She walked slowly toward him and gave him a quick hug. "Likewise, Jacob."

He seemed like he wanted to say something but suddenly, she heard people behind them. Then, Esme's voice spoke up from the background. "Edward, who is this?"

Isabella was startled to think that he had not mentioned to his mother and father that this was happening. Surely, she would have known who Jacob was if that were the case. "This is Bella's friend, Jacob Black. I am sending her home, mother."

It was not lost on Isabella the way he said her nickname and she knew he had heard Jacob use 'Isabelle'.

"She is your wife!" Esme protested, shaking her head as if they had all lost their minds.

"Master Swan is ill," Jacob spoke then, throwing Isabella an apologetic look before stepping up to approach the upset older woman. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Cullen."

"Yes, yes. Now, what about Master Swan? What is his infliction?"

Isabella wondered if Jacob and Edward had this planned as a way to get Esme to back down, surely this is why Edward decided not to tell her. "There have been complications since he was brought home from here. An infection. When Edward sent for me, Charles had planned to accompany me but he is unable to leave his bed."

She felt sick. This was definitely not part of the plan. While Esme began to ask what business Edward had for wanting Jacob, she completely lost attention. Her father was the only living relative alive. Both sets of grandparents were long dead, neither of her parents had any close siblings, her mother had been taken by an evil man, and now her father was facing the same fate.

Jacob seemed to quit paying attention to the squabbling mother and son as well because he stepped closer to her and forced her to look at him. "I regret this news deeply, Isabelle. I am sorry..."

"Tis not your fault, Jacob. I had no idea..."

"We did not want to upset you, we had not heard from you and..."

"That was my fault. I should have been writing to you since the beginning...Jacob is...is my father...disappointed in me?"

Edward turned from his argument with Esme, which poor Carlisle was trying to mediate, to look at her. Jacob looked at her with sympathy, "Never. You are still everything to him. He loves you so much."

She gave him a sad smile. Esme finally quit trying to get Edward's attention and Rosalie peeked out from the door as Emmettt bellowed, "What is with all the noise?"

"Your brother is giving up on our lovely, Isabella!" Esme yelled, still unhappy.

"Mother, we should not argue this in front of her," Emmett replied.

Esme said exactly what Isabella was thinking, "You knew about this?"

"Enough, everyone, let's go inside. Siohban has prepared a meal for us and we will enjoy it. Jacob, please, do not allow my wife to hurt you personally. We were unaware of our son's decision and Isabella has grown on all of us. Please, join us for dinner," Carlisle requested, trying to keep things peaceful.

"Thank you for your generosity but I would like to prepare for our departure..."

"Tis dark, Jacob. Bella should not be out at night," Edward put in.

Jacob looked upset but turned to her and nodded, gesturing her towards the doors where everyone seemed to be walking. She obliged but purposely tried to stay close to Edward. She even sat in the same seat she usually did, right beside her husband, even though it caused Jake to have to sit on the other side next to Esme.

Instead of everyone enjoying the meal, they all ate in awkward silence with Esme questioning Jacob little by little. Just as she was warming up to him, Edward stood. "Isabella, you may sleep in the usual bedroom. Jacob, I will set up a cot for you in the weapons room."

"And you?" Isabella asked Edward.

"I will sleep in one of the other rooms. Do not worry about me."

"I will always worry about you," she said under her breath.

Carlisle cleared his throat before she could know if Edward had heard her. "Edward, I would like to discuss things with you and Jacob. I want to know what your intentions are. Both of you."

Isabella watched them, wishing beyond hope that she could hear what all three of them had to say. Esme had opened up to Jacob but she was definitely still unhappy with what was happening. "Love, will you please help Isabella prepare a cot for Jacob?" Carlisle asked Esme.

Rosalie piped in,"Actually, I would like to speak with Isabella. Emmett, will you help your mother, please?"

~EA~

The second they were in Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom, Rosalie turned to her and Isabella burst into tears. "He's not a bad person, Rosalie. He's not. He's scared and he misses his wife..."

"Shh," Rosalie rubbed her back trying to calm her. "It will be okay."

"How is it going to be okay? How? Rosalie, I worry that he will not survive this!" she got out through her sobs.

"Take me back to the beginning. What happened?"

"He was not ready. He was not ready for a new wife...Esme can not heal him with me! He misses Garrett and his princess and...and...he loves..."

"Oh, Isabella," Rosalie cooed, guiding her over to the bed. "Has he hurt you? I know that I have asked before..."

"No. He wants me to hate him, though. We have not even had...sexual...relations in the attempt to create a child! He leaves me all the time and sleeps in other rooms. Last night...he began to...to try to be with me the way a man is with his wife and..."

"Did you want it?" Rosalie asked, genuinely feeling sorrow for her.

"No. Yes. I don't know...I'm so confused..."

"Did you...did he..."

"No. He became upset and he hated himself so much so he ran. He ran to the cemetary and I went out and he was freezing and we kissed and it was...heavens it was so good and I knew."

"What did you know?"

"That I love him...and he loves me. I know it, Rosalie!"

"I do not doubt you but I still do not understand why he sent for Jacob."

"He regrets what happened last night...I think he hates himself more than he hates anyone else. It's causing him to not be able to love anyone...or at least act like he loves them. He can be so, so sweet but then something will be discussed and he turns away from me."

"What do you want, Isabella?"

"To stay."

"Then fight! Tell him that! I will go with you if..."

"My father is ill, Rosalie. That is why he did not accompany Jacob. He has an infection."

"Dear heavens, you have been struggling with all of this on your own? Have you discussed with Edward your feelings? Do you want to have a child with him? Do you want to return after visiting your father?"

"I can not talk to him. It will only hurt him to talk about having a baby and...he thinks he is doing the right thing by sending me home. I can not hurt him..."

"No. You have to tell him how you feel!"

"Too late..."

A knocking at the door jolted both of them. Edward peeked his head in. "May I come in?"

The second he stepped in, Isabella looked up at him and his face fell. "Bella..."

The sound of Keira fussing in a room across the hall caused Rosalie to throw her an apologetic look before glaring at Edward and saying before she left the room. "You better fix this!"

"Is Jacob retiring for the night?" she asked, feeling foolish and wiping at her eyes.

"Yes," he responded after clearing his throat. "Come, I will walk you to our quarters."

She followed him closely, trying to take in everything about him. He was not saying anything and he also was not attempting to fix anything. At her door, she saw that Jacob was standing in the library, studying her meek book collection. Thankfully, he had not opened any of them, particularly her composition book. "Has Edward told you the news, Isabelle?"

"What news?" she asked, turning to Edward himself.

Jacob spoke, then, taking her hand and causing her to turn back to him. "We feel that it is best that he dismisses you from the marriage..."

"I will be ridiculed..." Isabella began to protest.

"You are not unwanted, Isabelle," Jacob replied. Her heart broke for him. Had this been but a month ago she would have been squealing like a young child, happy to run away alone with him, to know that he wanted her. Now, though, now it was just simply cruel.

She responded in a way that made her feel horrible. "I am tired..."

"Of course you are," Jacob said softly. "Let me get you settled in."

Edward stood back then and she watched as he walked into his old bedroom, the one he shared with Katherine. "You are unhappy," Jacob said, "I hope that once we get back you will consider allowing me to take your hand myself..."

"Edward is my husband..."

"He and his father are going to change things. They will talk to their priest..."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow. First thing. I want you to be able to see Charles before...well before...never mind. It is late and you look exhausted. Please, get some rest."

He stood, looking like he couldn't decide if he should hug her or walk away. He chose to leave without the contact and she did what she could to ready herself for sleep. Sleep would not come and as she tossed and turned on her tear-stained pillow, she prayed she would eventually cry herself to sleep. Instead, she thought only of Edward and how he was truly taking all of this. After she was sure Jacob had enough time to fall asleep, she crept to the door across from the weapons room and did not bother to knock.

He was not taking things well at all. Almost as if he'd expected her all along, he looked up and then back down at the book in his hand—a book she knew he was not reading. She walked over to him, neither saying a word as she sat down and slid over to him. Resting her head on his chest, she began to cry...again. This time, she went right to the sobbing. As his arms came around her, holding her close, the sobs became louder. "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry, Bella."

"Then let me stay!"

"I can not do that to you."

"How can you do this to me? How can you just send me off to live with another man? You are my husband and no matter what the state or even the church feels, nothing can change that."

"Your father is ill, Bella. You must go to him, regardless of whether or not you want to be with Jacob."

Guilt gripped her as she thought of her father, at home on his death bed. Edward was right, she really had no choice. "I suppose this is it then."

"No words will ever be able to express how regretful I am that you were all but thrown into this entire situation. You are beautiful and smart and innocent...any man would be a fool to not love you with all they have."

"I do not want to be alone tonight, Edward. May I please stay here with you?" He seemed to think hard about this before nodding and sliding them both down so their heads were resting on the pillows. "Is it okay that we're here, in this room?"

He looked around then, as if having forgotten were they were. "She is gone, Bella. Soon, it will be your departure that I will grieve. I feel that it no longer matters."

"What if I were to return? It will be awhile, after my father..."

"Shh, do not worry about him tonight. You will see him soon enough, Beauty. Once you are home, you will remember how happy you were there. It is with that knowledge that I am able to let you go. Sleep now, Beauty, I will be here to tell you goodbye in the morning. Isabella took the opportunity to snuggle into him.

Just as she was thinking it would be both the longest and shortest night of her life, she heard him begin to hum into her ear. It sounded beautiful and she wished for not the first time that she had been able to know him this way from the beginning. Pretending that she would be like this, with him, for the rest of her life, she felt her eyes close as she drifted off to sleep.

On account of this being Breaking Dawn weekend, I have a few festivities to attend so I'm not sure when the next update will be. I'm aiming for Sunday, as usual, but I can't promise. As always, if your review I will send you a preview of the next chapter. If you are bored, please check out 1979 by Scorpsifer and I'm sure there will be a few tweets between now and the next chapter so follow me on twitter- letzigprincess You are all amazing and I love the support I have received from all of you! Keep it up! Letzy xx