I am soo sorry. I literally lost the will to do anything. My granddad died, my pet died (and I loved both ever such a lot). I started writing this again at the end of January and wanted to get it up for sixteenth birthday, but I only just finished it today. My belated birthday present to myself.
Happy birthday to me for Tuesday the eighth of February. My sweet sixteenth... doesn't feel any different.
Enjoy :)
The school had called my parents. I groaned in exasperation. Why did they do this to me? Why? My mother came into the infirmary and shooed away the silent boy. She fussed over me and she practically dragged me to the car that was waiting outside.
I should have seen what was coming next. I really should have. It was something that happened every time I had a proper panic attack. That's what Mori had told the nurse. That I had had a panic attack.
It was a bummer really. I had to sit there and pretend to listen to someone who thought I wasn't all there. I really hate shrinks.
"I know you're scared, but you can't keep on like this..."
"...Being terrified of a boy's touch isn't going to help..."
"...Don't you want to be happy?" And so it carried on. And on... and on. When she had finally finished, I was taken home. My father fussed around me for a few hours before I made the excuse that I was tired. I was immediately shooed to bed. I made my way to my bed and collapsed on top of it. Another hour passed before my door opened.
"Are you okay, miss? The voice was gentle with its heavy French accent. His footsteps got closer towards the bed and I felt it sag down as a weight sat down.
"No, Jacque, I feel bloody terrible. I don't even remember why it happened!"
"Language." I heard the smile in his voice. I sighed and reached out for his hand. Sensing what I was looking for, he grabbed it. It comforted me more than I can describe. He was like a cross between and elder brother and a father. I loved Jacque like family.
"I think it was because I remembered The Incident again." There was silence. I don't know how long we were there for before he spoke again.
"You know, when the first words you spoke, after such a long time, were to me, I was so happy. I felt – not honoured, but something similar to it. It was nice hearing your pretty voice again, even if the words were harsh and cruel." He said. I smiled at the memory. "Do you remember what you said to me?" I nodded and sat up as I answered.
"'Go find a hole and die in it, asshole.'" I laughed as I remembered the reason why he had upset me. I had been a little upset anyways. I had just hit puberty and my hormones were raging all over the place. That made me a little angry to start with, but as if that wasn't enough, I had just found that Mother Nature would be giving me her 'gift' every month starting that morning. Poor Jacque had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was chattering away and the mentioned something to do with my therapy sessions. It seems stupid now, but as I stated earlier, I had not been in a good mood at the time.
"The tone was not quite as kind I don't think. But it was nice to hear you speak again all the same." He squeezed my hand before letting go and standing up. "You'd do well to get changed Hitomi-san. That dress is something rather unbecoming to the eye." I nodded. I felt him kiss my forehead. "Goodnight Suzuki-san" And then he left the room. Sighing, I got up and fumbled around for my pyjamas. I found them and started getting changed. I knew it would be impossible to have sweet-dreams night. I accepted it would be full of nightmares of bad men.
Slipping into bed, I hoped that I wouldn't wake up half way through the night.
I hoped the nightmares wouldn't be too bad that night.
What had woken me up was clear almost straight away. I fumbled around for the alarm clock and turned it off. I turned over to try and get five more minutes.
An hour later I was half dressed with toast hanging out of my mouth. I finished dressing, scrabbled around for my shoes, slipped them on and almost ran out of the door. I slid into the car and had only just closed the door as it sped off. I sank back into the seat and sighed. You'd think I would learn. You'd think that I would actually get up when the alarm went off after every other morning. It certainly amused the staff every morning. I could hear them giggling to themselves every time I ran past them.
I leant my head against the cool glass of the car window. It was only my third day and I was already dreading it. They would have all heard about what happened yesterday. It was school for crying out loud! Gossip travelled around faster than little rabbits on drugs. The car stopped and I got out, contemplating whether I should ask for a transfer. There was a rush of wind as the car sped off and I stepped into the schools territory. Another rush of wind and the sound of voices chattering notified me of the swarm of students surrounding me. Apparently all girls from the sound of it, asking what had happened with me and Mori. I was horrified at the theories I heard from them.
If there is one thing I hate more than gossip, it's the nasty, petty rumours that come with it.
"I heard that you tried to end your life, but then Mori-kun came and took you to the infirmary."
"Yes! And then you kissed!"
"AAH! Noo! How could you stain our perfect Mori-kun like that?" Disdained by the vicious remarks against me, I tried to move forward, but my stick hit something. By the feel of it, I'd guess flesh.
...oops...
The girl cried out in pain and I then felt a sting on my cheek. I cried out in pain and began to apologise, but before I could, the girl I had hit burst out in tears and I suddenly felt very cold. As though there was a malicious aura. Surely I had not hit her that hard? It had only been a light tap, hadn't it? There was another sting on my cheek and I gasped. I fell to my knees, panting as I was temporarily 7 years old again.
The bad man is hurting me again.
I forced my mind back to the present. He had slapped me twice when I wouldn't stop crying. The slaps must have brought it on. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and my attention was brought back to the crying girl and the snarling beasts that surrounded me. For a moment I cowered. It was that cowering that made me realise something.
I was still raw. I had told Jacque that I had probably remembered The Incident and now it seemed that my suspicion was true. The pain from that day still hurt, no matter how much I tried to deny otherwise. With that realisation, there was another. I was not one to shy away from such petty things as cruel words. I was someone that stood up for myself. Someone that had promised myself that I would never let someone hurt me again. As I came to that conclusion I stood up and brushed away the dirt that I knew must be there.
I thought to myself. How would I go about this? Shout at them to go away? Try and walk away and if they don't let me, resort to violence? Be kind and ignore their horrible remarks? I chose to be gentle and kind. It would not do for them to see me lose my temper. It was something that could be used against me if plotted properly. This thought process took about one second.
I followed the sound of the crying and when I knew I was somewhere in front of her, I offered my hand to her. The crying stopped, followed by a confused silence. I denied myself the smirk that I felt. It was hardly rocket science to guess correctly what they were thinking.
Why was this girl that they had said nasty things to, being kind?
I could not hold back the grin though, so I hoped it would seem like a kind and gentle smile. Be nice to your enemies. It confuses them.
"Are you going to sit there and cry all day, or are you going to get up and leave the past behind you?" I asked. Silence greeted my words and I sighed, getting irritated now. I lowered my proffered hand and almost growled. This girl was crying over a tap to her shin for crying out loud! If anyone should be crying, it should be me! The quiet continued and this time, I allowed the growl to escape my lips in the form of two words.
"Well, whatever." Stick firmly in hand, I walked off.
The rest of the day was filled with whisperings and jeering. Even Hana was a bit awkward with me. By the end of the day, my patience had been tried, snapped and rebuilt again. Only to be tried once more. I was nearing the end of my second lot of patience when a certain someone called my name.
"Hitomi-hime!" Of course, I ignored the irritating, bumbling buffoon and carried on walking. "Wait up, princess!" I stopped and turned around wearing a dark aura around my body.
"Do I look remotely like a princess to you, you tinpot turntable?" I growled. The idiotic twomp finally caught up to me and held both my hands near to him.
"You will always be a princess to me." He said, rather seductively. I repressed the blush that threatened to heat up my cheeks. Hey, I'm only human! My anger squashed my complimented side of me down to size and turned itself onto the thick skulled creature stood in front of me. I pulled my hands from his grasp and I hopefully glared in the right place.
"Right, now go use your compliments and prince charming looks on someone who can actually see and stop wasting my time, you polka-dotted freak." I said with as much venom as possible. I then stalked off... or tried to.
"Hi-chan! I found you!" I gave up. That was voice was too sweet to be angry at and then I frowned. Honey's voice was coming from above me. Was he hanging from the ceiling or something? I turned to the childish university student and smiled.
"Honey-kun, why are you so high up?" Honey giggled.
"Takashi's giving me a piggyback. It's fun!" Takashi. Takashi. The name sounded familiar.
"Ah! Mori-senpai?"
"Ah." I smiled and nodded my head a little.
"Thanks for yesterday." I felt a large hand ruffle my hair and I backed away, laughing nervously. I hadn't forgotten the jealous remarks from that morning. No-one remarked on my behaviour, however, and instead decided to remark on Tamaki's. Who I had forgotten about up until that moment.
"Ne, Hi-chan? What did you do to Tama-chan?" I immediately made my voice go cold.
"Why, what's the lamp shaded prick doing?" I heard a sob from behind me at the word 'prick' and some mutterings.
"He's sat in the corner making patterns with his fingers. He seems quite sad." I heard a soft thump and what could only be Honey running towards the sobs. Honey started muttering the word 'poke' over and over again.
"Poke." Silence.
"Poke." Awkward silence.
"Poke."
"Okaaaay! Well, I'm going before the sparkling leech sucker annoys me some more." Another sob and I turned and walked away. A force to be reckoned with hit me from behind and it was only my super human ninja skills that stopped me from falling over.
Did I say I didn't fall over? I'm sorry I lied. Now, back to the story. I was knocked off my feet by a small body. Now Honey was starting to remind me of my thinning patience.
"Hey! Be careful." I frowned. That voice was not Honey's. Picking myself up and brushing the dress, I spoke up. Or tried to.
"Shi-chan! What are you doing here?"
"Shi-chan...?"
"I'm hiding. Now be quiet!"
"Shi...who?"
"Who're you hiding from? You know you're not supposed to be here."
"Ah."
"Shi...?"
"None of your business!" I was about to ask again who 'Shi-chan' was, but I had a sudden thought. It was my chance to get away! To escape! Slowly, ever so slowly, I edged my way from the voices of Shi-whatever, Mori, and Honey. Oh! I almost forgot the sobs of the brainwashed codswallop. The voices got quieter and quieter as I turned the corner of the corridor. I broke into a slight run.
FREEDOM! AT LAST!
I didn't hear the footsteps that faltered as I ran past. Not until I was home anyway.
So, there you go. Shitty, I know, but yeah :D
PLEASE READ! There is a poll on my profile. Go vote. Please? :) It concerns this story :)
Review Replies:
Stuckinadream: Mori bear is the cutest ever xD Yes, it was Sapphy's voice in her head, kind of, but Sapphire doesn't know about Hitomi. Confused? If so, tell me and I'll try to explain without giving too much away. :D
Charlie Sykes: well, I hoped it would be. Hitomi was originally going to be deaf, but I couldn't work out how it would happen and stuff. If you're still reading this, please tell me what you think :)
DinosaursgoRawr101: Thankies. What about this chapter? x) Thankies for saying it's cute
UprisingDevil-DetectiveL: Why thank you ^-^
Zurla Adams: Omigod... I love your work! :D Yes I am, but I don't know who. Help out on my poll thingy on mah profile? Thankies ^-^
Shan-Shan XP: Really, it's not so clever. I just thought of the title after I decided she was blind. The inspiration was amazing. The chapter names basically follow the story title x] Thank you anyway x)
Aurora-16: :) and I still see no chapter x) Thanks for reviewing anyway ^-^
AbbyinUnderland: uumm, let's just say he did more than molest her... :( I won't read Bean Trees or whatever it was. Don't worry. I don't value my sanity btw x]
NumberSixteen: So yooouuuu're the one responsible for my grandad's funeral... Don't worry. I forgive you :) Thankies ^-^
Melikecake: What does OMFGSH mean? Oh My Friggen Gosh... what? This is the sequel to Denied. Which I am currently trying to finish, just for youuu amongst others :) I don't mind you reading our convo. Really. I can't think of anything embarrassing I wrote. So Pshh.
Mikaelamazing: Yes. Kimblee's voice is so orgasmic in the Japanese dub of brotherhood x] Thankies :)
AnimeVamp1997: Thank you for saying it wasn't crappy, but I still think it was xD I'm you like Hitomi. I like her too :D
Well, that's it for now. Please give me ideas, because I really do not know what I can put. I know who the person who faltered is right at the end. First person to guess right gets a special prize of their choice. Probably a oneshot or a chapter with their idea in no matter how wacky and strange it is. Other ideas have to be realistic to the story.
YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE AT GUESSING THE MYSTERY PERSON!
*mumbles to self* now where did I put it hmm *points (un)suspiciously downwards*
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