Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

Chapter 12

Assumptions and Truth

It had been days since her return to the castle and things just felt...wrong. It was like the only way to cope with Edward's absence was to totally move on without him. Carlisle was making plans to throw himself into work and Esme was planning to help him. They even found another house outside of the village to live in so that he could work. Rosalie and Emmett were thinking about taking the kids to the country, they had other friends and family there that were offering to give Emmett work.

Possibly the biggest change was the change Isabella saw in her best friend. Alice, who was usually happy, was now absolutely beaming. Sir Jasper Whitlock was Alice's answer to finding happiness. She would be with Alice at dinner and he would come in, handing Alice a bird feather or something small he found while out on patrol. Alice had stayed every night with her in the bed she had shared with Edward. Her friend new she was hurting but there was nothing anyone could do to help her.

Jacob had joined in with the effort of Jasper and the other guards to help protect the family. He would bring her things back from his short travels as well and she struggled with how to react. She knew he was in love with her but she could just not bring herself to feel those feelings she once did for him. With every attempt he made to get her to forget Edward, she just found herself withdrawing farther into herself.

The only one who seemed to be unable to accept his absence besides her was Emily. The little girl constantly asked her if she and Edward would take her out to play in the snow when he came home. No matter how many times Rosalie would tell Emily that it was unnecessary, the little girl insisted on having a place set for him at the dinner table. Siobhan learned long ago to humor her or else they were all subject to a temper tantrum that could make the devil shake in his shoes.

Meals were perhaps the hardest time for her—besides bed time. It was when she had spent the most time with Edward and she wondered if it would be easier on her if she had stayed back with Miss Charlotte, at least then there wouldn't be constant reminders. It helped that Alice was there at night but she knew it was only a matter of time before Alice would be joining Jasper instead. Isabella was happy for them but she could not pretend it was not sometimes painful to watch unfold.

~EA~

"Isabella, eat," Jacob had begun to demand almost every night at dinner, obviously frustrated with her. Her heart panged in her chest as she thought of Edward's strange demands of her eating. He sounded so much like Edward that she got chills. Isabella knew his frustration was coming to a breaking point, though. She had yet to eat a full meal since before her father passed away just a week ago. She stayed away from mirrors, feeling that no matter what she did, she would never be good enough for Edward. She would never be blonde, tall, or a Denali. Instead, there were dark circles under her eyes—which were usually redder than normal, her hair was thinner than it had been, and her clothes hung on her. The feeling of abandonment flowed through her constantly and every day it was harder to get up in the morning.

One afternoon, she was sitting at a table watching Emily work on shading in pictures Isabella had drawn for her when Jacob walked in. "Would you two like to go outside for a little while. We can make snow people."

Shivering, Isabella pulled her warm dress closer to her and looked at Emily. The little girl scrunched up her face. "Snow people?"

"Of course. Have you seen a snowman? We could make a whole family!" Jacob said cheerfully.

Isabella realized that this was probably the first winter that the little girl might actually remember. Of course she wouldn't remember making snowmen if Emmett and Rosalie had taken her outside to play the year before, she was far too little then. "Can we Bella?" she asked, bouncing in her seat excitedly.

The nickname pulled at Isabella's heart, Emily had picked it up from Edward before he left. "Of course. Let me gather our warm clothes."

As she stood, she asked Emily to go tell her mother that Isabella and Jacob would be taking her outside. Jacob came over to her when Emily was gone and gave her a hug. The second his arms came around her, he frowned. She felt him touch her back and then make his way to her waist. While it may have been inappropriate, it was in no way sexual. In fact, he was disgusted. "You are not going outside. Alice and I will take her."

"Why not?" Isabella demanded, backing away from him.

"You are wasting away! Do you feel yourself? Give me your hand." Placing her hand on her side, just so she could touch her rib cage he got in her face. "Bones. Hard bones is all you can feel. It is far too cold for you to be outside with nothing to keep you warm..."

"You are not my owner. I may do as I wish!"

"If you wish to starve yourself you can do so without me being around. I am tired of watching you like this! I demand that you eat. Now."

"I am not hungry!"

"You lie!" Allowing herself to cry, something she only did now at night when Alice was dreaming about Jasper, Isabella started to walk away from him. "Where in the devil are you going?"

"To get my cloak!"

Isabella returned, ready to brave the cold, to find Jacob talking closely with Jasper and Xander. They all became silent as she slowly approached them. "Isabella, if you wish to take Emily outside, you may. We will be out shortly," Jacob said, a strange expression on his face.

"What is happening?" she asked, knowing he was keeping something from her.

"It is nothing...right now. Please, take young Emily out and I will be there soon."

She gathered up Emily from her parents quarters, cooing at baby Kiera before taking her big sister by the hand and leading her outside. There was about two feet of snow and Emily skipped happily into it. The cold was so bitter it hurt Isabella's bones. "What do you want to do out here?" Isabella asked. "Jacob is going to come out a little later and we can make our snow people then."

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Where would you like to go?" she asked, taking Emily by the hand and leading her to the snow covered paths.

"Can we visit Aunt Kate?"

Isabella froze and Emily turned to see why they had suddenly stopped. "Why do you want to visit Aunt Kate?"

"No one visits her or baby Garrett. When Uncle Edward comes home, he's going to be upset. I want him to stay."

Isabella dropped to her knees and pulled the little girl close, "Why do you think he left, Emily?"

"We got mad at him because he still likes her and the baby and grammy said that is why you left and he got really sad." Isabella watched as Emily began to cry, eliciting tears of her own. "I did not want him to leave. I did not mean to make him sad..."

"Emily, look at me, you did nothing wrong. He loves you very, very much. He told me that himself! He would never leave you because of something you did. Nothing you could possibly do would make him leave you."

"Momma told papa that Uncle Edward loved you! Why did you leave?" Emily was sobbing now and clinging to Isabella.

"It is too hard for you to understand. Some things are just more complicated than we can explain. I did not leave to hurt him, honey."

They sat that way for awhile before Emily pulled away and Isabella wiped her face of tears so that they would not freeze. "Do you still want to visit your Aunt Kate and the baby?"

Emily nodded and took her hand again. "I missed you too, Bella."

"Aw, Emily, I missed you a lot as well." When they came to the small cemetery, Isabella could see that Emily had not been lying, there was not one set of footprints to the tombstones.

"He's going to be sad," Emily whispered.

"No. He's not. Come on, Emily. We need a shovel."

About an hour later, though they were both dripping from the melting snow and laughing at how each other looked. Stepping back by the gate, Isabella looked at the cleared off cemetery and smiled. "Let's get inside before we catch our death out here."

On the way back, Emily actually skipped to the front of the castle, still having to hold onto Isabella's hand because the snow was up to her knees. "Do you think he's going to come home?" Isabella asked Emily, not really expecting a serious answer.

"I don't know," she shrugged innocently, "but it makes me feel better when I pretend."

"Me, too," smiled Isabella.

~EA~

"You never met us..." Isabella began, seeing Jacob standing near the bridge, he seemed tense.

"I checked to make sure you were okay...you seemed...happy. Carlisle would like to speak with you. He's in the dining hall."

"Please tell me what is happening. I know..."

"Isabella, I do not wish to make false promises. Please, go in and talk to Carlisle. Get warm."

"Is it intruders?" she asked, her heart beat speeding up.

"Tis nothing to worry over, Isabelle. There is never anything to be afraid of. I will protect you."

Giving him a small smile, Isabella walked away. Carlisle was sitting at a table in the dining hall, an apple and some cheese sat in front of him. "Emily, dear, run and find your mother. You need dry clothes."

Isabella watched her skip off and bit her lip, coming around to sit across from him. "Isabella, remove your cloak."

She looked up at him, surprised, but did as he requested. He looked at her long and hard before nodding his head. "I want you to sit and eat both the apple and all of the cheese..."

"I'm not hungry..."

"You are starving yourself." He said it as if telling her there was snow on the ground.

"Does it matter?" Isabella demanded of him, suddenly angry.

"Yes. It does. Isabella, he would not want you to be this way!"

"He is not here!"

"Then think of your father! Do you think Charles would want to watch you waste away?"

She started crying again and stood up. "I do not want to be here anymore. I am constantly reminded of my not being wanted. My husband has done nothing but beg me to leave since the day we were married! Now he has left for good! I am tired of being told what I want. I mean no offense to you or your family but I have had no choice in any of this!"

"Then you need to be given choices and your health is the first! Only you can keep yourself alive, Isabella. I can not force you..."

Isabella felt faint and she leaned against the back of the chair in front of her to keep her balance. She opened her mouth to protest when she heard it. At first all she could hear was Jacob's voice, loud and accusatory coming from outside. The next voice nearly broke her completely.

"Where is she? Is she here? Jacob?" Edward. It was Edward's voice. Edward was home. "What's happened? Please, answer me!"

"She's here. She's inside. You probably will not even recognize her as she is barely still living! She will not eat and she barely sleeps..."

"Isabella? Bella?" Edward called, his voice becoming closer. She wanted to go to him but she could not. She wanted to fall to her knees and sob but she could not. So she stood frozen, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. "Bella."

This last one came out as if he was in awe that she was in front of him. "Dear God, Isabella..." he strode towards her, "how come you have not been eating?"

Anger flowed through her, helping her to move freely. She had waited for him to return, her heart had bled for him, her father had just passed, and the only thing he could say to her was that. Gritting her teeth, she grabbed the apple from in front of Carlisle. Instead of eating it like they expected her to, she pulled her arm back and threw it at him. In her angry state, she had horrible aim and it ended up hitting the wall a few feet away from him. She was shocked with herself, and she was sure he was just as surprised.

"Father, please leave us."

"I do not know if that is for the best..."

"I beg you to leave."

Reluctantly, Carlisle stood and walked away. When they were alone, Isabella felt the anger melt away. She took one step towards him, preparing herself to take another, when she watched him begin to stride quickly over to her. She stood, still slightly shaky, as he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Isabella was just about to relax, to tell him she was sorry as well, to tell him she was glad he was home, to maybe even kiss him, but the doors to the outside flew open. Jacob came in, carrying a large sack, followed by Xander and Jasper, who each had one as well. "Your poor horse," Jasper muttered, dropping the thing in the inside of the door.

Edward stepped between them and Isabella, as if he wanted to protect her from the outside world but Isabella soon heard a voice, it was one of a woman—the familiar voice of a very beautiful woman. "You may set them wherever for now...thank you, gentleman. It is good to finally be home. For good."

Isabella tensed in his arms before shoving him away from her. "How could you?" she whispered, looking up at him in shock. "How can you do this to me? How can you tell me you are sorry? How can you..."

"Bella, please, just listen to me..."

"Don't touch me!

"He's home!" Emily practically screamed, her voice interrupting Isabella. "I told you, Bella! I told you if we visited Aunt Kate he would come home! You were right! He does love us and he did come home! We do not have to pretend!"

Edward seemed to stand there, guilt still shadowing his face as he tried to smile at the little girl who had flung herself at him. He watched Isabella painfully until Rosalie and Esme joined the crowd. Both of them immediately went into protective mode. "Edward, what is all of this?" Esme demanded. Isabella had never seen her so angry.

"I have brought Tanya home. She belongs here," Edward said as calmly as possible.

"How dare you leave us like you did! You could have been dead three times over and not one of us would have known!"

"Mother, I am sorry..."

Isabella had trouble focusing on the situation at hand. She could not take her eyes off of the last, single Denali sister. He had replaced her. It had happened that quickly. She briefly wondered if this was possibly his plan all along. Feeling extreme exhaustion rack her body, Isabella silently made her way away from the crowd and back to her bedroom. Unable to keep thinking, her stomach in absolute knots, she curled into herself as much as possible. Too tired to figure out what was happening and too tired to even cry, Isabella clutched the blankets and fell asleep.

~EA~

Dressing in clean clothes, Isabella found the trunk Jacob had carried in for her and began to pack her dresses. Setting the clothes Edward had purchased for her on the bags they had come in, she wondered if it would be unreasonable to take the cloak, as it was the only one she had. Deciding that it was her determination, and no one else's, to leave all the gifts that Edward had given her, she would take the cloak. His new wife could have the rest.

When she felt that she was significantly packed, she took a deep breath and walked out the door. It did not really surprise her that Alice had not joined her the night before as Jacob had probably told her he wished that everyone would leave her alone. Throwing the door open, she went to step out when something hit her legs. Not a something—a someone. Not just a someone—Edward. He stood quickly, running his hands through his completely untamable hair, his eyes were bloodshot.

"Bella..."

"What are you doing outside of this door, Edward?" she asked, completely tired of dealing with him.

"I wished to speak with you..."

"Then why did you not just come in?"

"I felt that...that it was inappropriate."

"I think we are far past what it means to be appropriate. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

"No. I will not. You must listen to me."

"You would not listen to me, why should I have to listen to you?" Even Isabella was surprised with her tough exterior, she felt like pudding inside.

"Because I plan to try to make you listen to me everyday. Forever."

She scoffed, "Now you want to keep me here? What? Would you like to have me living in your Denali princess's shadow?"

"Katherine..."

"I am not speaking of your late wife, I am speaking of your new one."

"You misunderstand..."

"Isabelle, is everything okay here?" Jacob asked, coming out of the weapons room, obviously just having woke up.

"Everything is fine, Jacob. I would like to speak with Alice. I wish to return home before nightfall tonight..."

"Bella, please, just let me talk!"

"I am not strong enough for this, Edward. Please understand that."

"You are strong! You are stronger than any woman I know..."

"Edward, you have done nothing but upset her!"

"Don't," Isabella said, turning to her friend, "I beg that you both leave me to grieve for my father. I will be going out for a walk. Jacob, please discuss our leaving with Alice."

Not giving Edward a chance to say anything else, she pushed past him and made her way outside. She had no plan as to where to go, it just felt good to feel like she had freedom. It was not until she came to the cemetery gate that she knew where she needed to go. Gently unlocking the gate, she sat down on the ground in front of Katherine's tombstone. The snow cushioned her though she was happy to see that it had also stayed the way she and Emily left it the day before.

She had felt like she wanted to say something to Katherine before but there were no words, now they seemed to pour freely. "Was he always like this?" Isabella asked, demanding an answer from a cold grave.

Deep down, she knew as soon as the words were out of her mouth, the answer was 'no'. "No, he was not. No, he was probably happy. He loves you, Kate, and he was probably so excited to start his life with you and your baby. I should have known that I could never compete with you...or your sister. Now, he expects me to watch him take Tanya's hand in marriage and act as though I am happy for him!"

She shook her head at the insanity of all of this: talking to a stone and having to watch her husband marry someone else. "I guess the worst part is that I am happy for him. He deserves that...he does not deserve someone with so little to offer such as myself. Please...if you are up there...if you are looking after him...try to let him know you are happy for him as well..."

Tears were pouring down her face now, it was time for her to tell Edward Cullen goodbye. It was time to walk away from him and not look back. It was time for her to not look back and not plan to again. She would go back to the castle and find Jacob...he was who she was meant to be with, not this beautiful, tormented, wealthy man. She debated on whether or not to tell Katherine goodbye, but figured she was already crazy for even reasoning this out by saying it out loud to a dead person.

Gathering her cloak, she carefully stood up, wiping tears from her eyes as she did. The second she turned around, she froze but held her head high. "Have you been there long, Master Cullen?"

"Long enough to know that I have verily done things which have confused you..."

"Do not mock me..."

"I am doing no such thing. You are confused."

"Then go ahead. Enlighten me. Tell me what you so badly have to say. Tell me that you plan to marry Tanya. Tell me that you did not expect me to be here upon your return Tell me that I may stay if I like because you feel sorry for me and the loss of my father."

"Are you finished making your assumptions?"

"Are you finished with me?" she asked, proud of herself for staying strong.

"Never."

"Do not do this. I beg of you. If you do not care that I am here, then please allow me to leave because I care for you much more than I should and you are only hurting me by keeping me here...by pretending."

"You are shivering," Edward said, stepping a few feet closer to her before stopping to pull something from his pockets. Her yellow mittens. "I am sorry to hear about your father. I should have been there with you."

"Why do you have those? Where did you get them?" she asked, the foundation of her resolve now shaking.

"I stopped at your family home..."

"Why would you have done such a thing? Why...why would..." she found that she was having trouble breathing. Was it possible that he had actually done so to make sure she was okay?

"Tanya Denali is the rightful owner of this estate, Isabella. Legally, the state may believe it is I, but morally, I believe it is her."

"I do not understand what this has to do with my mittens, Master Cullen," Isabella replied.

"When you left, I was going to go back to the military. The Lord knows they need help with all the violence these times have caused. I was lying to you this entire time and for that I will never forgive myself. I also will never expect your forgiveness.

"I worried for you and your family so I made arrangements with Jasper to keep watch over you in my absence. When you left...when you left I believe my entire family hated me...and I can not say that I blame them. I overheard my father discussing the possibility of him and my mother moving so that he could resume his doctoral duties. Emmett and Rosalie were only here for a few months to make sure that I was okay, they never planned to live here permanently and do not plan to do so now.

"My mother told me once that she was worried I would not return from one of my trips and she knew...oh, my mother knew...that I..." he looked away then, shaking his head before starting again. "So I knew she did not expect me to stay here and I also knew if I told her of my plans, she would become upset. She never particularly liked Tanya."

"She is not the only one," Isabella said dryly.

Edward ignored her. "I realized that as long as I stayed here, the memories of what was would rip me apart if they did not succeed in killing me first. I no longer had only two people to remember, I had three. As long as I remained, I would see my Kate, writhing on our bed in pain. Not the natural pain that came with labor, the pain that came with knowing she was not going to be around to watch her child grow old. I would see my Garrett, my beautiful little boy, fighting for each breath as I watched his body fight to stay alive in my arms.

"Bella," he stepped closer to her, "I would look out into the courtyard every day and be reminded of the first time I saw you. I was watching you, that day they brought you to me, as you stepped out of the carriage. You were so beautiful, so...innocent, and I knew that I would hurt you but that I was too much of a selfish bastard to turn you away. For the first time since my Katherine left me, I felt...hope.

"I thought Katherine would hate me for taking you in so soon after she passed. I felt guilt over the fact that her body was out here, not even yet dissolved into the cold ground, and all I could do was lust after yours. How I treated you, though...", he shook his head again, "would make her hate me even more. She was good and kind and loving. I was cold and heartless and a fool. In a way, maybe I now believe she sent me you.

"Regardless, I only went in search of Tanya because soon it will only be me living here and I can no longer live with the reminders of those who are no longer living. I understand now what my mother was trying to say. Just because I lost my Katherine, does not mean I have to lose myself. Kate would not want that anymore than my family would. I was such a fool..."

"Edward, I still...are you planning to live here? With Tanya? I just want an answer!" Isabella whispered, feeling slightly faint at his admissions—her head was reeling as she tried to figure out what he was trying to say.

"No...I planned to make an agreement with her. I would seek her out—make a deal with her that she could have the estate if she awarded me enough money to start a home of my own...if she would allow me just enough to get back into work."

"Why would you need a home if you were to become a soldier?"

"I had hoped, perhaps pretentiously, that I would someday soon have a wife to give shelter to..." his voice trailed off. "Tanya accepted my bargain and that is why she is here."

"Why were you in my home?"

"I wanted to know that you were safe, I wanted to see if Jacob had replaced me, and if not...if not I was going to return to the castle and settle things here..."

"And then what, Edward?" Isabella asked, stepping closer to him, silently begging him to say what she hoped he would.

"And then return for you, the only girl I will ever risk for this one last time."

Isabella did not know what to say, she was truly speechless. Shivering a little again, she swallowed hard, trying to figure out what to say. Edward closed the distance between them. Holding a glove out and open to her, he smiled, "Regardless of the outcome, we should get you inside where it is warm. Here, put these on."

She slid one hand in and asked, "So you were not going to marry Tanya and live here happily ever after?" He shook his head, laughing as if it was the most ridiculous thing he could have fathomed. She smiled and just as he went to slide the other glove onto her hand, she looked him in the eyes and asked a second question. "You said your mother knew something. What did she know, Edward?"

Her hands were now gloved and he held her hands in his. "That from the day I met you, I knew I loved you. That from the day I first knew I loved you, I would love you forever."

"Why could you not give into this before you sent for Jacob to come take me away?" she asked breathlessly.

He looked as if he had been expecting this and sighed, "Somethings are just too complicated to explain, Bella."

She smiled up at him, remembering that she had said almost exactly that to young Emily just the day before. "Where do we go from here? Tis too late to claim we are still married..."

"Then I will court you, if you will allow me to. As I said before, there is nothing I can do to fix all that I have destroyed between us, but I will try for as long as I love you...which I have also said before...will be forever. If you hate me enough, though, I will walk away now. I will allow you to return home and I will make sure you are provided for. The choice is yours, my Bella. I will never force your hand again."

I want to send a thanks out to Anna, you know who you are, for all of your help and kind words! I am expecting mixed reviews to this chapter but I definitely want to hear them. I am struggling with the next couple chapters and your opinions could definitely influence and help me out :) Please send me some reviews, and as always, I'll send you a preview of the next chapter! You can also follow me on twitter letzigprincess.

For anyone into the whole Post Secret thing, which I LOVE, please check out the Twilight Post Secret Challenge! For those who are unfamiliar with Post Secret, I recommend you check out at least the prompts to get a taste of what it is about. Voting begins on December 2nd! There are a lot of great stories on there! http:/ www. fanfiction .net /u / 3219624/ TwiPSChallenge (remove spaces)

You all inspire me! Lots of love, letzigprincess xx