Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

Chapter 13

Given the Choice

There was no sound and, though they were outside, Isabella felt like all the air had been pulled from her lungs. Was this really happening after all of this? Now? Now he was choosing to tell her that he cared for her? She felt dizzy...and he was so, so close to her. All she could feel was his hands on hers and all she could see was his eyes. There was no way she could make an unbiased decision on anything when she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms."Edward..."

"Isabelle?" Jacob called from the other side of the gate.

The moment between her and Edward was immediately gone. The look of broken-hearted doubt was back on her prince's and she just felt cold as he had let her hands go. "Everything is fine, Jacob. Thank you for checking on me but your worries are unwarranted. Master Cullen means me no harm."

She couldn't quite here his response but she could have sworn he said something about harm already being done. After he walked away, she finally went to tell Edward what she had to say when he took her by the arm. "Let us get you somewhere warm."

She just nodded in agreement, feeling the cold down to her bones. Edward glanced back as they made their way to the gate. "Did you do all of this? I was expecting to come home to a mess out here."

Isabella glanced back at the gravestones. "Actually, Emily and I both did. We both missed you."

When they entered the castle, everyone was sitting around the dining hall as if not knowing what to do with themselves. Wanting time to think, Isabella just smiled weakly at them and went back to the library. Edward, bless his tormented heart, let her go. Plopping down on the couch, she leaned her head back and tried to think things through. There were so many reasons to take Jacob's hand and leave Edward forever but not one of those reasons were good enough for her. When Edward rejected her, she felt like she was being ripped apart. Now that he was back, the idea of losing him a second time terrified her.

A knock on the door sounded a few minutes later and both Alice and Rosalie came in carrying a tray. "Edward wanted us to bring this to you...he was afraid of flying apples," Rosalie smirked. "You really threw an apple at him?"

"Yeah...I reacted unfairly. I was just..."

"Angry?" Alice finished knowingly. "Isabella, I'm sorry for...for not being there these past couple of days...I know my attentions have been elsewhere..."

"Alice, there is no need for you to apologize. I see the way you and Jasper look at each other. You are in love."

Alice looked down at her feet and blushed. "He has proclaimed his intentions to me but he is unsure of what Edward will think..."

"You tell Jasper that Edward has no say in this. If he cares for you, it is only fair that he should get to be with you."

"Well, we're all going to be a little scattered now I think," put in Rosalie.

"I heard that you are wanting to move?"

"Emmett and I want more children and Emmett does not take well to having someone else care for us the way that Edward has. We are very grateful but we think he's going to be okay on his own...he no longer needs us."

"He will always need you, Rosalie. He loves you all very dearly."

"We know. He also loves someone else in this room very dearly. How are you with all of this?"

"Confused."

"I feel horrible for what has happened...I know things would have been different if you came into his life a little later..."

"He told me he loves me, Rosalie."

Alice squealed with delight as Rosalie just frowned, knowing that Isabella was now completely unsure of what to do and said, "I'm sorry..."

"When I first met him, I think I already loved him. It happened in an instant. Now, he is being who I needed him to be and I am verily afraid that it is too late. What am I to do? Continue at always being the girl who comes in second?"

"If you came in second, you would still be at home without any protection at all. I have known Edward for awhile and he seems to be finally coming to his senses. You must do what you think is right for yourself but if you believe that what is right for you is what is right for him as well, maybe things could work out."

"I do not know what to say but he is right. I deserve to make this choice on my own. I have to do what is right for me."

"What is right for you?"

"I have no idea," Isabella sighed, looking down at the tray of food.

~EA~

Isabella ate some of the food on her tray and just an hour later, when Siobhan came to tell them lunch was being served, Isabella went into the dining hall intent on eating whatever it was that had been prepared. She was surprised to find that her appetite was returning and she credited it to the hole in her chest being not so distracting. She missed her father but tried to remember he was happy up in heaven with her mother and his family. Miss Charlotte came to mind and she contemplated what to do about traveling to see her. That was pushed to the side when she approached her typical seat and Edward stood immediately, pulling her chair out for her.

This was sweet but it was also wrong, her heart was breaking to think of the formality now between them. Glancing over at Jacob, she was surprised to see him staring at something behind her. Turning in her seat, she found that Tanya was strolling to the table, chatting idly with Brutus. Jasper and Alice walked in together then and Alice smirked at her before sitting beside Jacob. Jacob frowned and Isabella couldn't help but laugh at his defeat. So, Jacob was eying up the newest resident. She did not know how she felt about that.

"Isabella, how was your day today?" Edward asked, completely formal, as if trying for gentlemanly. Isabella wanted to roll her eyes at him, that attitude did not suit him at all...and she was glad for it.

"Master Cullen, please, you have not been away quite that long. I still prefer that you call me Bella."

Edward smirked as well then and nodded, tying again. "Bella, I trust your day is going well."

"Today was much more agreeable than the past few...aside from flying apples...it seems my loved ones are all safe. Now would you please pass me a roll of bread?"

"If I were to hand it to you, will it come back at me?" he asked humorously, raising an eyebrow.

"That is a chance you will just have to take, Master Cullen."

"You have not been away quite that long, either, Miss Swan."

"Sorry, Edward..."

Their playful banter continued for a few more seconds before Carlisle cleared his throat and they both finally looked away from each other. "I am glad to see the two of you are no longer throwing food," he chuckled, "but we have found a small home not far from the office I will be practicing in. I would like to go visit tomorrow...along with your mother. We plan to move in the next few days."

"Of course, father. You and mother have done more for me that I can repay. I will send protection with you and we will discuss with the guards sending someone with you permanently." Isabella studied his expression carefully, he was happy for them but she could see he was not totally happy about them leaving. He was not mad, it was more like he was afraid.

"Edward and I have agreed that no one really needs to leave," Tanya spoke up. "I understand that you consider the castle home right now. Edward and...anyone who chooses to stay here...will always have a place here. My sister would hate me if I treated any of you any differently."

Edward frowned, staring down at his food and for the first time since she'd arrived, Isabella watched as he barely picked at his own food. "Edward, I need to speak with you after dinner," Jasper said, coming to stand behind Alice.

"Please, join us, Jasper. There is plenty here," Edward smiled warmly to his friend.

The rest of lunch was pleasant and once everyone was finished eating, Emily climbed into Edward's lap and took a bite of his pie. As Isabella stood to help Siobhan clear the dishes, she heard Emily telling her uncle of their time outside the day before. Unable to bring herself to see Edward's face at the mention of Katherine, she gathered up as many dishes as she could and followed Alice out of the room.

"I think he is sweet, Isabella!" Alice chimed as soon as they were out of ear shot.

"He can be."

"And he's very good looking."

"Yes, he is."

"And he's very..."

"Intense?" Isabella finished for her, even if that was not the word her friend planned to use. "I know. I do not know if I can do this, Alice."

"Would you rather be with Jacob?"

"No. I would not. I feel different when Edward is near. I just do not understand that feeling..."

"You seem happier."

"I am happier."

"Oh, Isabella, you love him. We both know that..."

"How long until he sends me away again, Alice? How much longer will it take before he starts remembering Katherine and everything goes back to the way it was before?"

"Well, no one can make this choice for you. No one is going to force you back into a marriage...no matter who it is with. I love Jacob but I really think that Edward loves you as much as Jacob does."

Isabella opened her mouth to respond but Jasper came barreling in, "Ally!"

"What is it?" her friend giggled.

"Everyone agrees. I only wish to speak with your mother first..."

Isabella watched their exchange and could not help but smile. She had never seen either of them this happy. "My mother will be happy," Alice replied knowingly.

Taking Alice's hand, Jasper kissed it, and then went for her cheek—and then her lips. Isabella blushed, looking away from the display of affection. With that, Jasper walked back out and when she turned back around, Alice was gaping at the doorway. "Breathe, Alice," laughed Isabella.

"I can not and that is okay with me," beamed Alice.

~EA~

Once Siobhan got tired of her trying to help, Isabella went back to the library to try to think things through. After sitting down with the journal that Edward had bought her, which was still completely empty, she thought of what to write. Putting the quill pen to the paper, she was just about to write her first word when she heard movement from the room that Edward had left a disaster. Creeping quietly back towards it, she peeked around the door frame and saw him. His back was to her and he was sorting through the debris. The bed was covered with folded clothes and the broken pieces of wood were being stacked by the broken desk. He had his hands in his hair and she did not know if she should approach him or walk away.

He turned suddenly, his arms still up in desperation, and he took her in. "Isabella..." he said, obviously embarrassed.

She did not know what to say, so she pointed to the broken desk and gave a small smile. "Did you two get into a fight over nicknames as well?"

"I was so foolish," he muttered, shaking his head. She wondered if he intended for her to hear it. "I suppose I need to clean this up before night time. Did you have Jacob light the fireplace in your bedroom the other nights? You must have been cold."

"No. I managed on my own. Edward, I am not a child."

"I never meant to imply..." he shook his head again and went back to picking things up off of the floor.

Wanting to change the subject, she spoke a little louder to get his attention back. "Have you heard of Jasper and Alice? I believe they are considering marriage?"

"They seem happy. Jasper is leaving the castle as well, he and Alice are considering going back to Alice's childhood home in Forks."

"I missed you, Edward. I am glad you are back."

"I have made a mess of things haven't I, Bella?"

"Verily," she said dryly but with a smile. "I need to go see if Rosalie would like help with Emily this afternoon. I will see you at dinner."

"Of course."

Isabella left him to pick up the pieces of his broken past life and decided to find Emily. The little girl always managed to cheer her up and she would miss them when everyone decided to go their separate ways. Rosalie was rocking baby Keira and Emily was pouting when Isabella entered their private quarters. "What's wrong, little one?" Isabella asked.

"She wants held and Keira is fussy...and Emmett is outside with Jasper..."

"May I?" Isabella asked, walking over to them and holding her arms out.

"Of course. I warn you, she's not very happy at the moment."

"Oh, baby, what is the matter?" Being in the arms of a new person got the infant to look up at her, confused for a moment. Isabella began to coo at her and dance around a little. The baby giggled up at her and Rosalie took Emily in her lap.

"One of my uncles is willing to give us a nice plot of land near our old home. It is big enough for stables and a respectable field. Emmett has spoken with a few people from the village where it's located and everyone seems happy to have us back."

"When are you guys leaving?"

"Not immediately. There is still a lot of things to decide and he wants to make sure things are settled there before we take the baby out in this cold."

"I will miss you."

"I will miss you, too! We will bring Emily to visit you...no matter what you decide with my brother-in-law. She could not stand that you and Edward were both away."

"The ball is this weekend. Have you thought about going?" Rosalie brought up after awhile.

"I do not know if now is the best time..."

"We must go! All of us! We can find suitable clothes for Ally and Jacob! Please, Isabella!"

"I will consider it. I promise."

"Good, let us head to the dining hall. Dinner should be ready soon and I would like to hear the details of what is going on with Jasper and Alice."

"I think they are going to marry."

"Wouldn't that be lovely?" Rosalie asked happily, leading the four of them from the room.

~EA~

It was not lost on Isabella that Tanya and Jacob kept glancing over at each other. It also was not lost on her that Edward was looking rather ragged. He had pulled her chair out for her again and seemed to make sure that she ate an adequate amount of food but she knew he was tired. He picked up Emily and set her on his lap but his eyes were haunted as he watched his niece pick what she wanted off of his plate. It took everything in her power to keep her hands to herself. She wanted to touch him, to offer him some sort of comfort.

"Isabelle, are you feeling okay?"

Her eyes shot up to meet Jacob's as he looked at her, a concerned look on his face. She could feel Edward's eyes now boring into her. "Yeah..." she lied, trying to finish her sentence without sounding like it was a lie. Keira whimpered and coughed, causing the attention to shift away from Isabella, only Edward and Jacob were studying her now.

"Are you finished eating?" Jacob asked. "We can go for a walk."

She nodded and gave a small smile, relieved to get away from everyone, things were just too intense at the moment. "I'll grab my cloak," she said, pushing her chair back and standing up.

When she met him outside, he was standing by the stables and she made her way over. "Want to ride?" he asked her.

She smiled a genuine smile and nodded excitedly. Following him into the stables, he told her to choose a horse and she immediately went over to Mulan. "That's a big horse, Isabelle."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged, thinking of the first ride she had taken on the animal. "I can handle her."

Jacob placed the saddle on Mulan before helping Isabella settle onto her. She waited for him to prepare another horse for himself before they made their way out of the stable. They took it slow, silently enjoying each other's company, but it was still hard for her to think of Edward. He was so alone. "Speak, Isabelle."

"There is nothing for me to say."

"Since coming here, you seem to think you have developed the ability to lie. You are wrong. What is running through that head of yours?"

"I do not know what to do."

"About what?"

"Edward has apologized...and he confessed that he does love me..."

"How can he not?" Jacob asked quietly, sounding slightly defeated. "Isabelle, you have to do what you feel is right."

"I am still angry with him."

"That is understandable."

"I'm still hurt that he pushed me away the way he did."

"I can understand that as well..."

"I'm terrified that if I give in to him it will happen again."

"Do you love him, Isabelle?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to speak with him. No apple throwing or yelling or accusations. You need to sit down and talk everything out. Until then, you will never know what you may have if you choose to live your life with him."

~EA~

Isabella stood behind her bedroom door, listening carefully for anyone who might not be asleep yet. Everything was silent and she could hear Alice's steady breathing behind her. Swallowing hard, she stepped into the hallway. This was completely inappropriate, they were no longer married, yet she was struggling with the knowledge that he was just a few rooms away. Jacob was who she was worried about and as she went past the weapons room, she stepped lightly. To her relief, there was no lock on the door that would lead into Edward's room and she took a deep breath before turning it and peering in.

He was there on the bed, she could tell he had been crying and wondered if he was sleeping soundly. If so, she did not want to wake him. Finding the courage in herself to approach the bed, she was careful not to wake him as she gently laid beside him, close enough to reach him but not close enough that they were touching. Her hope was to just lay beside him, revel in his nearness and then sneak back to her room before he even knew she was there. She felt comfortable, though, and as she laid there watching him sleep, she eventually found herself drifting off.

She woke up to the bed moving and looked over just in time to see him shift and sit up, opening his eyes. "Bella?"

Her heart clenched when he said her name—just as it always did. "Hi," she said weakly.

Then, as if a thought occurred to him, he sat up a little straighter. "What is it? Are you alright?"

"I am fine..."

"Do you need me to light the fire in your bedroom?" Isabella blushed, remembering the night when he had brought her the greatest pleasure she could have possibly imagined. The warmth he had elicited in her was intense. Snapping herself out of her less than pure thoughts, she shook her head. "Are you hungry?"

"No!" she finally snapped. Then she stumbled with her words, she never should have come. "I just...I wanted...I need..."

"Please do not cry. You do not have to say anything..."

"How much longer?" she finally asked after about five minutes of them just staring at each other.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward, I know you are scared for what is to come...with your family...but is it really that you want me? I do not mean to offend but I have only been gone for..."

"I do not know what to do to make you believe me..."

"You'd be willing to leave here? If you wanted to stay, I am quite sure Tanya would not mind..."

"Isabella, Tanya meant nothing to me even before I met Kate and she means nothing to me now!"

"I meant nothing to you only a short time ago."

"Then why are you here? If you honestly believe that...why, Isabella?" he asked her, growing more frustrated.

"Because...because as my father and Jacob always loved to remind me, I'm as stubborn as an ox. My heart is far over riding my mind."

"When I went to your home, I thought...I thought you decided to leave with him..."

"What changed your mind?"

"I was leaving to come back here when Charlotte and Peter arrived. They explained that Jasper chose to bring you back here—along with Alice and Jacob—after your father passed away. I did not bother to stop for Tanya, she was on her way to the castle already when I caught up to her. I saw the living conditions in your home and I feel awful for not sending you..."

"Living conditions? Edward, that is my home...and believe me, the 'living conditions' are very much suitable!"

"I apologize..."

"No. This is what it will be! You are giving up the life of luxury by giving up another Denali princess! How long until you start seeing what you did the last time? How long until you wake up and realize that I am not them? I will never be those other girls who like to have ridiculous amounts of money spent on them. How long until you realize that I am not good enough for you? How long until you realize that you are making a huge..."

Somehow, her sentence was completely interrupted as Edward's lips connected with hers. As all of the other times before, it quickly became much more passionate than she intended. Isabella thought of what he had said to her earlier that day and her subconscious fought with itself, trying to determine if he could truly have meant it. Suddenly, it ended as quickly as it began. He slid away from her, literally panting on the side of the bed, and it took her awhile to regain her voice.

"A huge mistake," she finished her previous sentence, biting her lip and feeling the familiar pang of abandon and rejection. "I must go now. I never intended to stay with you the whole night. I must go before I alert the others of my late night visit to your bed."

He did not try to stop her and she was glad for it. Had he tried, she probably would have been unable to resist. She wanted to wrench the door open and slam it shut, she wanted to feel that satisfaction, but knew that surely it would wake both Alice and Jacob if they were not already awake. Closing the door quietly, Isabella crept back into her bedroom. Alice appeared to still be asleep and she laid down, trying to close her eyes and fall back to sleep herself. She was finally comfortable when she heard Alice clear her throat. "How is Edward doing by himself?"

"Alice...I was..."

"Making sure that someone you love was okay? Go back to sleep, Isabella, your secret is safe with me."

"Oh, Alice," Isabella sighed as her friend turned to face her. "I'm so scared."

"Isabella," Alice said, in a rough tone that only a close friend could pull of without sounding mean. "You are afraid to get hurt but do you not see that you are hurting now? Is he not worth risking in order for you to be happy for the rest of your life? Can you take the chance of not trying and living forever in a state of regret? I know you are scared. I am scared and Jasper has been nothing but kind. Edward loves you, Isabella."

This was kind of a bridge chapter but the next one is one of my favorites so far. I'm unsure if there will be more than a couple chapters left or not. It's probable that there will be 15 chapters total. I may decide to continue it but I am not sure right now. Thank you all so much for your continued support! I know you will enjoy the next chapter, there is a ball and another type of a proposal :) Follow me on twitter letzigprincess Review and I'll send a preview!

Letzy xx