Uh Oh

by Gillian In Oz

sequel to Oops. & Ow!

Ronon watched through narrowed eyes as Teyla and Sheppard indulged in a slap-fight over McKay's bed. The kid slept on regardless, a tiny bubble of snot under one nostril.

"I have no idea how to reverse it," Carson was saying helplessly. "Where's Zelenka?"

Elizabeth tapped her comm-link and turned back to face them.. "They found him," she reported. "In bed in his quarters. Uh, whimpering."

"It appears Rodney wasn't the only one effected by whatever changed him," Carson said sagely. "Everyone who was present seems to be acting strangely."

"I'm not effected," Ronon said.

"Radek is usually quite calm and collected," Elizabeth agreed, looking worried. "It's not like him to panic like this."

"And the Colonel and Teyla seem unusually, ah, protective," Carson added. Sheppard and Teyla now had one of the sleeping Rodney's hands each and were glaring at each other fiercely.

"I'm not effected," Ronon repeated.

Elizabeth moved to the end of the bed and gazed down at the child intently. "It's almost understandable though," she murmured. "He is very..."

"Oh, how cute!" Someone exclaimed in the doorway and they turned to see Kate Heightmeyer bearing down on them, a wide smile on her face. With the element of surprise she elbowed Teyla out of the way and neatly tripped Sheppard up as he protested. "Look at his rosy little cheeks!" she gushed, fondling golden curls gently.

Teyla actually growled.

Ronon stepped forward and pressed on Teyla's shoulder as she lifted her leg to deliver a killer kick. "I'm not effected!" he shouted, and the occupants of the infirmary all turned on him reproachfully.

"Shh!" they all said, even Sheppard who was still on the floor rubbing his skinny behind.

Ronon rolled his eyes. "You are all infected with something," he growled, losing patience with the lot of them. "It's like that Lucius Loser guy all over again. Can't you see that?"

"Ronon," Carson said patiently, rolling his R's in that exaggerated, annoying way he had. "Calm down, lad, you don't want to disturb wee Rodney now, do you?"

Wee Rodney was already disturbed, rubbing at his eyes and yawning widely.

"Aww," Elizabeth gushed and she and Heightmeyer exchanged fatuous grins.

"I brought your sandwich, Rodney," Teyla said, pulling free of Ronon's grasp and cunningly edging to the other side of the bed. "And cookies."

Rodney turned wide blue eyes on her and she melted, shoulders slumping, a trembling smile on her lips. "And milk," she whispered.

"Fank you," Rodney said, pushing himself upright on the bed. Sheppard rushed to prop him up against the pillow and pulled the covers over him tenderly.

"Oh, forget this," Ronon muttered, and left the room as Carson pulled out a huge polka-dotted handkerchief and tucked it under the kid's chin.

He met the medical team on the way up, they had one hand each wrapped around Radek's arms and they were pulling him towards the infirmary. "No, no," Radek was mumbling. Ronon shoved them both aside. One of them pushed back.

"Hey!" he said.

Ronon lowered his brows and stared at him.

"He's all yours," the guy squeaked and he and his companion scuttled away.

"Ronon, thank you," Zelenka said, collapsing against his chest. "Don't make me go in there. Don't make me go near him."

"I won't," Ronon promised. "I just want to know, why are we the only ones who aren't crazy?" He studied the scientist's, pale, blotchy face and wild eyes for a second. "At least, why are you different-crazy from them?"

"Didn't you feel it?" Radek wibbled. "The horror. The irresistible urge..."

"To what?" Ronon yelled.

"To cuddle!" Radek yelled back, then stared horror-struck for a moment before collapsing onto his knees.

"Uh, no, not so much," Ronon said blankly, staring down at the weeping man clutching his shins. The Satedan thought about it for a moment. "Right," he finally said decisively, grabbing the scientist by the shoulder and hauling him to his feet. "We're going back to the lab and you're going to fix this."

888

"It actually makes sense," Radek said, seeming less bug-shit crazy the further from the infirmary he got. "To turn into a child - what use that as a weapon? But to turn into this thing and be... adored..." He shuddered. "So very very adorable," he crooned, eyes glazing over.

Ronon obligingly hit him on the side of the head.

"Ow," Radek said. "And thank you."

"Anytime. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that this could be used as a weapon. To turn someone into something that appears so harmless, and yet has so much power. And then to unleash it on an unsuspecting people..." Radek shuddered again.

"They were all fawning over him, that's for sure," Ronon said. "Can you fix him?"

"I can reverse device, no problem," Radek said confidently. "But... should I? To deprive the world of such a sweet little child, so obviously gifted by the gods themselves..."

"Yes, fine, whatever," Ronon muttered, rapping his knuckles sharply on the table to get the guy's attention. "Just show me how to do it, okay? Before they start building an altar and worshipping him or something."

"Oh, no," Radek protested. "Worshipping would not be good for a child. He needs love and comfort and lots and lots of cuddles..." His mouth turned down and he slumped. "It's too late for me, isn't it?" he moaned. "Save yourself."

"That's what I'm trying to do," Ronon muttered. "Just show me what to press."

"I can do that," Radek said bravely, squaring his shoulders. "But I fear it will not be so easy to get to him and change him back. I am fighting this as hard as I can and my every instinct is to leap on you and wrestle you to the ground before I let you change one curl on his golden head."

Ronon surveyed the skinny scientist who gazed up at him, slowly lifting his hand and gently pushing the guy's glasses back up his nose.

"I'm fighting instinct," Radek said weakly.

"Lucky for me," Ronon observed. "Now. Show me what to do. It's Ronon's turn to save Atlantis."

TBC!