Chapter Twenty Two: Leaving the Past Behind

Shaw was laughing, the assured harsh laugh of a man who knew he had won. He looked from Erik's distraught face to Charles, who was busy avoiding everyone's eyes. Charles' pale skin was flushed, and Shaw realised that although he had finished with the man before him, Charles would always have what it took to attract him. Should their paths ever cross again he did not know what would happen, he wished for true indifference, but knew it would never come. But in order to feel superior now, Shaw knew that he had to take a hit himself, and cut his ties with Charles. He couldn't let anyone affect him so much, or turn his world upside down the way Charles had managed to. No matter what he might feel, Charles needed to go.

Because it was not in making people happy that Shaw found contentment, or enjoyment. He wanted and needed people to submit to him, for only then could he feel complete. But once they did, it saddened him to realise that they lost most of their allure, leaving him feeling empty once more, and despairing of their insipid behaviour. The laugh that escaped him now was months in the building, having been held back for so long, waiting to hurt the people before him. Seeing Charles Xavier broken was more delicious than keeping him whole, even if it was a shame to throw something extraordinary away.

"I tried to warn you Erik, but I suppose you thought you knew best after all. Now you understand that you don't have what it takes to keep someone like Charles interested. Because he will always want what he cannot have. He was always difficult like that. Now look at him, begging me to stay, after running away from me for so long…" Shaw paused as he stepped towards Charles, his hand reaching out for him. He took hold of Charles' neck, his fingers curling around the soft skin he found there, his nails digging in harshly, his thumb pressed into Charles' jaw. "But it is too late Charles. You know that I am always looking for the next thing also. I suppose it was fun whilst it lasted, but I've had enough."

"What are you talking about Shaw?" Erik demanded in a low and threatening voice. He was in no mood for games right now, and the anger that was flaring within him was making his judgement cloudy. He suddenly felt like grabbing hold of all the metal in the room, ripping it out of the computer and from the wires in the walls, and slamming straight through Shaw's black heart. The image taunted him in his mind, and as he looked into Shaw's face the temptation grew.

"Charles has been lying to you Erik!" Shaw shouted, pushing Charles away from him in an action that betrayed no affection at all. Erik saw Charles flinch, but he didn't move away. It looked as if he was determined to stand his ground and receive his punishment without complaint, either that or he was used to being pushed around. "He never ended things with me, he's been telling you lies. We've been together all this time, meeting in secret without you knowing. It's always been just me and Charles, you never mattered at all Erik."

Charles could feel the outrage and pain radiating from Erik, his eyes were filled with fury, and everything was directed at him. Charles had tried to prepare himself for this, but he was still overwhelmed by how much it hurt to cause Erik any kind of pain, especially when Erik couldn't understand why it was being done. Everything rested on the world believing what Shaw believed was true, and if Erik had the slightest doubt about this being real, then it would all be for nothing. Fooling Erik became paramount the moment Emma Frost walked into the scene, because Charles had no doubt that she would check Erik's mind for the truth.

But knowing this was for the greater good did not make it any less difficult. Charles desperately wanted to cross the space between him and Erik, and confess everything. He wanted to make Erik understand that everything was still OK between them, that nothing had changed, that this was all part of the plan. But Charles kept his eyes on the ground and a distraught and guilty look on his face, and kept his mouth shut. The thought of Raven and his students depending upon was the only thing keeping him steady. If Shaw found out about his students mutant abilities, Charles didn't think he would be able to save anyone from his greedy clutches, especially if Emma Frost decided to become involved. So far it did not serve her interest to be involved in Charles' plan, but he couldn't afford to risk anything.

"I don't… I don't believe you. Charles?" Erik didn't care what Shaw said, he wanted to hear this from Charles, and he wouldn't believe anything less. Only Charles wouldn't look at him, and Erik's mind was unwelcomingly silent. There was no calming voice belonging to Charles in Erik's head. He wished Charles would speak to him, because no matter what Shaw said, no one could fake that frightened glint in their eye, not the one Charles was showing him right now. "Just tell me the truth."

Charles looked up then, slowly his eyes lifted and Erik almost fell backwards with the shock of what he saw there. No, it couldn't be true. He didn't believe it. Not after everything Charles had said, all that they had done, there was no way any of this could be real. It was all some kind of nightmare, something he was sure to wake up from soon. But the sickening feeling in his stomach just continued to grow, and was now flooding outwards, attacking everything he had once known to be true and reducing it to nothing. He wasn't prepared for any of this, he had thought he and Charles were as solid as anyone could be. The secrets they had shared together could destroy them both, and they had trusted each other to the point of risking everything. Something just didn't add up, and yet the look Charles was giving him was in conflict to everything Erik had known to be true.

"That night you met him here, at Hellfire, did you really think me and him were finished? He might have been trying to give me the run around, but in the end, he always comes back to me. It was that night that he decided to give up running. We had too much history. But he managed to hook you in somehow, it is the same old story with Charles, looking for someone to save him."

Charles could feel confusion crashing through Erik's mind, clouding his judgement. He knew Shaw was getting to him, but there was more emotion involved now. Erik would believe everything Shaw told him now, because his mind was too blown to try and separate the lies from the truth. Also by accident or design Shaw had managed to say just the right words to confuse Erik. Erik had often mentioned himself the idea that Charles was looking to be saved by someone, and had spent all of his life being lost.

"Charles, say this isn't true. I don't know what you are trying to do to me, but I know that isn't really you," Erik begged, knowing that he sounded weak and pathetic. He was playing straight into Shaw's hands, giving him everything. Then suddenly, his expression darkened, and he half turned back towards the door. "Actually, you know what, I don't even care."

"Oh Erik, I think that you do," Shaw said, recalling Erik back into the room. "You see, last weekend Charles was here with me, giving me anything I asked for. There was no competition, he'll always be mine, and I've warned you of this before. All I'd have to do is ask him to leave here tonight with me, and you would never see him again," Shaw stopped to look at Charles, who was now wearing a hopeful expression on his face. "Tell me about last weekend Charles."

Charles didn't even have to lie. If Shaw wanted him to explain what last weekend had meant to him, then that was what he would do. He knew Erik was not ready to pull the puzzle pieces of truth out of this mess yet, and had previously admitted not being very good at sorting through the chaos of half truths, lies and facts that Charles scrambled in his wake. But eventually, he would stop looking so disappointed and disgusted, and understand.

"It was the best few days of my life. I felt alive for the first time, and that didn't have to hide what I felt anymore. I know that that moment changed me, forever," Charles said quietly. He was thinking of Erik's arms around him, of Erik's hands running up his jeans with promise of things to come and Erik's kiss on the inner side of his thigh. He was finally speaking the truth now, because Charles knew that he would never be the same again. From that moment onwards he had felt more accepted than he had ever done in his whole life. And it was all because of Erik.

Erik's face had turned deadly pale. His jaw set as his teeth clenched together, and his eyes turned steely.

Don't Erik.Charles warned, he could feel the room vibrating under his feet and in the walls little wires were shaking, he could feel Erik's power burning beneath the surface, threatening to break out and destroy everything in its reach. If Shaw discovers that you are a mutant, he'll hunt you until you give in or are destroyed.

Like you Charles? Are you submitting or has he destroyed you? He's destroyed you for me that much is for sure.

Charles looked away. He didn't want to feel the ferocity in Erik's mind anymore, and didn't want to have anymore of it directed so strongly at him. It hurt too much to know that he had put in there and could do nothing to take it away. He was making Erik suffer, and in doing so he realised how much Erik had cared for him, or still did care for him. Charles couldn't bring himself to believe that this might cause Erik to turn his back on him, when it was all over there would be time enough to talk this through. But no one forgot pain like this, and forgiveness for causing it might not be something Charles deserved. Especially when it came to forgiving himself.

"I am sorry Erik," Charles whispered. The tenderness in which it was spoken halted Erik's rage, but Shaw's mocking laughter broken the moment.

A lot of the success of Charles' plan now rested upon Emma Frost being fooled, and not just in altering Shaw's memories. The axis of the plan had always been on Erik being unaware of what Charles had been up to so that his reaction would be real. Shaw had to believe that everything was over, that Charles had managed to lose everything, so that Shaw could finally leave feeling like he had destroyed him like he did everything and everyone else that defied him. He had to see Erik despair in Charles, and for Charles to be left with nothing.

"Don't you understand Erik? He never stopped being with me! It was at the Ritz that he agreed to my proposal, to be mine. I let him keep seeing you because I know Charles likes his little games, as do I. But he was so desperate to save his sister, that he was on his knees begging me in the hotel lobby," Shaw paused and looked at Charles with a sneer. "He was on his knees doing a lot more after that. Charles has always had a talent for…"

"I don't need to hear anymore," Erik interrupted.

Charles could see a tear threatening in Erik's eye, but it was kept at bay by the anger that flowed from him. His steely gazed fell on Charles, and his finger rose in warning.

"I don't want to see you again. Do not follow me," he choked before striding from the room and slamming the door behind him.

Charles stared after him open mouthed. The closed door had frightened him more than anything. What if Erik wouldn't listen to his explanations? What if he did, and he still didn't care? Charles had hurt him, and even if it wasn't real, Erik now believed that it was. Charles had known that he was going to be putting Erik through hell, but he had never realised how much it would shake at their souls, threatening to break everything that had ever made them happy.

It was with bittersweet success that Shaw slammed an official looking document into Charles' chest.

"There, that is what you wanted isn't it?" Shaw said smirking. "You can have it, if it is the price of getting rid of you. You've become too predictable Charles, and like Erik, I don't want you following me. If it weren't for that bargain we made, I'd take your sister with me. But unlike you Charles, I keep my promises and you can have her back."

He laughed as opened the office door and followed Erik out of Charles' life. Stunned and feeling too shocked to move, Charles staggered back into the desk and stared down at the paper in his hands. It had worked; everything had gone as it should, only Charles felt no joy. The deeds to Hellfire were heavy in his hands, and although he had paid more than necessary to buy Shaw's share of the place and take away his claim over Erik's life, Charles felt the price for everything else had been too high.

But Shaw was gone. Charles couldn't believe it could be so easy, surely there was something else waiting to take a piece of him, maybe just outside the door, something else waiting to knock him down. And then it arrived, as he tucked the papers into his back pocket and took a shaky step forward, the door opened once more and Emma Frost pinned him in place with a no nonsense stare.

"Don't worry little boy, I haven't come to blow your cover," she said shutting the door behind her with a loud snap. "You've managed to leave a trail of misery behind you haven't you? Although I suppose you've gotten what you wanted."

She walked forward and sat on the desk next to Charles, crossing her bare legs, and tapping her foot. The smile she wore wasn't friendly, but it wasn't threatening either, more inquisitive.

"I am sorry that you are not going to be coming with us. It might have been interesting to have someone like myself to talk to. You have clearly pushed your abilities to a place I am yet to venture to. The memories in Sebastian's mind are exquisite. Bravo. It would have been fun to have you tutor me," Emma said slyly. She tilted her head to the side to regard him. "But I suppose you will be busy training your own mutants wont you?"

"What are you…"

"Don't try any lie to me Charles, you know that is pointless. Those mutants that you brought to the club tonight, they are young and need someone to help them. But I must congratulate you, you found more than Shaw has."

"I am their tutor, but not I the way you are thinking," Charles replied. He regarded her with a sceptical expression as if he was waiting for her to attack.

"Are you sure?"

"I…?"

Emma shimmied off the desk and walked back to the door. She opened it and waited for Charles to walk out before her.

"You now own a part of two ghosts," she said looking at the paper half showing out of Charles back-pocket. "You need to take care you do not become one yourself. Maybe it is time to look for a new direction and leave your failed relationships behind?"

Charles studied her face. So she had believed it. She had not delved any deeper into Erik's mind than the surface, seeing his anger at Charles and his hatred of Shaw. The stories in Shaw's and Erik's minds added up, there was no need for her to look any further, and when she reported to Shaw later, she would most likely tell him about the distressed state of Erik's mind and how his love had shattered into nothing.

"There is a room full of mutants out there waiting for someone like you to guide them into a new world," Emma continued. "I will be interested to know the path you decide to take."

"You sound like you want to come with me," Charles said as he stopped before her.

"No. No Professor Xavier, it is just my curiosity that you hear. I made my choice, and I will see where it takes me," Emma replied still smiling. "But do not worry, I have no interest in reuniting you with Sebastian if it is not your wish to be so. He needs people he can trust, and you would be a liability. But I suspect we shall meet again, the future is now so uncertain."

"I suspect we will," Charles replied. He stepped past her and walked out into the corridor, then turned back. "You are not planning on telling him the truth then?"

Emma shrugged.

"No. But one day he will find out what you are, and when he does, you should pray he never realises what you have done."

Emma's words haunted Charles as he walked away. The building he had just bought did not seem at all welcoming to him, and the papers in his pocket felt as if they were burning a hole. There was little point looking for Erik, Charles knew he would never find him in this place if Erik didn't want to be found. He didn't know if Erik would ever again want to be found. As he stood staring into bright flashing lights, a small hand found its way into his. Charles did not need to say anything to Raven, her sad smile told him that she already knew.

Author'sNote:So here we are. The next chapter will be the last, and I hope it is not too much of a spoiler to say that it will contain a happy ending. I intend to wrap up all remaining loose ends in the final chapter. Don't forget to review! :)