Jim finally gets some answers and there is a confrontation.
Thank you T'Arrah for beta-ing this for me. All mistakes are still mine.
I don't own Star Trek.
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It seems like an eternity before Jim lifts his head from his hands to meet the disbelieving gaze of Selik. Kirk watches in a sort of daze as the old Vulcan crouches before him ans gently places his hands on the humans knees.
"Jim, what makes you think Spock is responsible for you still being here?"
Jim wants to be pissed at the fact that the Spock in front of him need him to prove himself when they are meant to be such great friends, but it seems as if all his anger has been burnt out of him for the time being and now he is just... tired. He feels as if he has aged 10 years since he arrived here all those days ago. Trying to desperately hold onto an old life that he is not sure he wants any more, is both physically and mentally exhausting. He heaves a heavy sigh and instead of yelling at Selik, he tells the Vulcan everything Scotty said to him down in Engineering and what he has pieced together on his own. A slight frown begins to mar the Ambassador's face as he listens to the human.
He stands when Kirk is finished and bows in apology.
"I am sorry I doubted you, Jim. Taking into account the evidence you have just presented, there is a 93.2% possibility that my counterpart has indeed taken deliberate actions to ensure that you do not leave this universe."
Jim's eyes begin to water as he hears Selik validate his theory. He did not expect to feel this amount of pain at the affirmation of Spock's betrayal. He almost wishes that the Vulcan elder had told him that he was imagining all this, because then that would mean that the man he thought was different, the one person who has actually proven he liked him for just being himself, hasn't been screwing him over this whole time. Jim gazes up imploringly into brown eyes that he is sure were created by God himself to torment him.
"Why would he do this, Selik? He said he cares about me, so then why would he stop me from going back to where I belong?"
Selik's hand reaches out to caress Jim's almost desperate face, but pulls it back when the blond flinches away.
"I cannot speak with 100% accuracy, but if I were to guess, I would say my younger self has ensured you remain here because he believes you belong with him."
Jim scoffs at the elderly Vulcan and his crackpot theory. No one would ever go to such extremes, like sabotage, to keep him around. Also, there is the little thing about him not being from this universe that also puts a dent in Selik's reasoning.
"Either you are delusional for thinking Spock would think that or he is delusional for actually thinking that. Maybe it's both. You are both the same person after all. Maybe I have unintentionally stepped into a universe where all Spock's are as nutty as a fruitcake. "
Selik just shakes his head as the Humans voice rises in volume. Kirk almost seems to have been taken over by a mild hysteria. Selik throws caution to the wind and grabs one of Jim's hands, which is flailing in front of him as if he is trying to physically pull all the answers he needs out of thin air.
"Jim, you must understand, to Spock you are t'hy'la. A Vulcan would do almost anything to ensure that such a treasure never leaves their sight. He is only doing what his blood demands of him."
Kirk is utterly confused now, which really shouldn't surprise him since talking to Selik (from any universe) seems to always create more questions than answers.
"What the hell is a tu-hey'la?"
Despite the circumstances, a smile forms on Selik's lips. It is utterly fascinating to him how Kirk manages to the butcher one of his language's most sacred words in the most adorable way.
"T'hy'la. The most accurate translation is friend, brother... lover. It is similar to what Humans would call a 'soul mate'. It is an extremely rare bond amongst Vulcans. Spock has obviously discovered through his touch telepathy that you are this to him. His perfect mate. He has come to realize that you are the only being in this universe that completes him."
Jim shakes his head with renewed vigor. He is now certain that both of the Spocks in this dimension are crazy.
"One: we aren't lovers. We decided to be just friends. Two: and this is probably the most persuasive argument... I'm not from this fucking universe! Even if I was to believe in this whole 'soul mate' thing, it wouldn't matter because the Jim Kirk that died as a baby is his true t'hy'la, not me. I am just the substitute. The feelings aren't real."
Selik squeeze Jim's hand and then pulls him towards the bed. As they both sit down, Selik can see that Jim is still agitated, but has calmed down a little. He continues to stroke the Human's hand a reassuring (and completely platonic) manner.
"To begin with, if I am to address your first point I must first ask you a question. Did you actually tell Spock that you were only interested in pursuing a friendship with him?"
Jim hesitates for a moment and then glances away.
"Not exactly, but... but it was implied."
Selik tries to hide his grin at Jim stumbled speech. He fails miserably.
"As I thought. He was courting you, Jim. The chess matches, taking meals together, the touching of hands. He was showing you that he wishes to become your mate. He most probably knew that you were hesitant to move beyond friendship, but with no formal agreement made, he believed you to not be totally against the idea and so you were considered 'fair game' as you would say . You are aware that hands are erogenous zones for Vulcans, are you not, Jim?"
Kirk's quick forming blush and 'deer caught in headlights' expression tells Selik that the Human was in fact unaware of that piece of Vulcan trivia. He takes satisfaction in the knowledge that, although Jim is surprised by this information, he is not angry, or worse disgusted. He clears his throat and continues onto the second point.
"Now concerning your second objection, the way in which you have rationalised the t'hy'la bond is inaccurate. What you must understand is that, though we may differ from our counterparts in certain aspects from one universe to another, the one constant is the katra, or as you call it, the soul. It is identical in every universe. You call to Spock, just as this universe's Jim would have if he had survived. To him, you are his t'hy'la, not simply a replacement as you have come to believe. You are Jim Kirk and you are t'hy'la to every Spock that crosses your path."
Kirk waggles a finger at the Vulcan, now completely sure that this is all just a load of bullshit.
"Now if that were true, then why don't you or my universe's Selik feel it or better yet, why doesn't my own Spock feel it?"
"I do feel it, Jim, and so would the Selik of you world. Even now, your mind calls to me like a siren song. I, and I assume the other Selik, have not acted on it because we have already been bonded to our t'hy'la and so our drive for a mate has been sated. For me, being drawn to you now is more to do with comfort than a burning need. My Jim died many years ago and left me with a severed bond that is quite painful. Your presence soothes that pain. On some level I will always wish to bond with you, but I have already been blessed once... I would not take that opportunity away from a version of myself that has never had that blessing. Also, it would not be fair to you. I am an old man and do not have many years left in me."
Jim is a little less sure of himself as he hears this, but there is still one thing Selik has yet to account for.
"Well, how do you explain my Spock. He has touched me plenty of times in the line of duty and he didn't show any sign that he wanted to be more then co-workers. I... I practically threw myself at him trying to get something more happening between us and he rejected me... with ruthless precision."
Selik's brown eyes shine with sympathy as he stares at the dejected man next to him.
"I cannot say why the Spock you know rejected your connection, but what I can say with absolute certainty is that if he made skin to skin contact with you then he felt the bond. I myself denied my feelings for my own captain for many years before I submitted to them. I know that it can be done. He, like myself, is holding onto the belief that for whatever reason, bonding with you is illogical. I learned that I was wrong. If your Spock comes to the same discovery is yet to be seen."
Jim nods his head, not in understanding, but as a gesture to show the old Vulcan that he is trying to understand. There is just so much to take in. He is not sure if he is getting it.
"So you are telling me that I am potentially the ultimate mate to every Spock that crosses my path. And not only that, but I also currently have one Spock, who knows that we are soul mates, but refuses to acknowledge it and another Spock, who knows about the t'hy'la thing and wants it so badly that he willing to stop me from going home at any cost. Oh, and lets not forget that I have two old Spock's that have already bonded with a version of me and are currently using me as a form of pain relief. Have I gotten all that right?"
Selik nods solemnly. "Yes, you have the basic information, but what you must understand is-"
The Ambassador is cut off by a sharp knock at the door. Selik stands and makes his way over to the door and opens it. Pike and Spock are at the threshold. Selik barely manages to offer a greeting before his younger counterpart is pushing past him and goes to stand before Jim, who is still seated on the bed. His eyes travel up and down Kirk's form trying to ascertain his well-being.
"James, I was worried. Mr Scott informed me that you left in a hurry and that you did not seem yourself. Has Selik done something to upset you?"
Jim chuckles humorlessly at the worried Vulcan.
"No, he hasn't done anything to me. The reason I left Engineering was because I found out something about someone who I thought was my friend and needed Selik to help me understand why they would do it?"
Jim is glaring at Spock, who eyes widen in comprehension. All color drains from the Vulcan's, just as Kirk's face flushes with growing rage. Before Spock or Jim can say anything more to each other though, Pike's voices filters through the room, reminding the two men that they are not alone in the room and that they have probably missed a very important conversation.
"Jim, Spock. Selik and I are going gather up our Vulcan passengers and take them to Conference room A for interrogation. I want you to meet me there, but only after you get whatever this is," He waves his hand between his XO and the younger captain, "...sorted out. That's an order."
Pike and Selik disappear out the door, not even giving the two younger men a chance to respond. Both Spock and Jim stand staring at the door for a couple of moments before the blond spins to face the Vulcan. He jabs the surprisingly hard chest with his finger and glares into Spock's stoic face. If anything, that total lack of expression just makes Kirk more furious.
"I know you have been fucking with Scotty's formula that is meant to send me home."
Rather then looking guilty or abashed as Jim was expecting, Spock looks almost proud.
"You deductive skills are quite exemplary, James."
Jim can't stop his jaw from dropping at Spock's casual attitude and total lack of shame when faced with this accusation. It is as if the Vulcan is complimenting him on a particularly impressive chess move, instead of how he was clever enough to figure out his betrayal.
"So you don't deny doing it?"
Shaking his head Spock responds, "Why would I deny actions that are completely logical. I wished to keep you and so I took steps to ensure that you could not travel back to your universe."
Kirk shoves Spock with both hands and the Vulcan, who is unprepared for the sudden attack, stumbles back a few steps.
"You wished to keep me? I am not a stray dog that you can just take home with you and keep as a pet. I have a ship I need to get back to... people that probably miss me. I can't just stay here just because you think I'm your soul mate."
In seconds Spock has stepped into Jim's personal space and grabbed the Human by the upper arms and pulls the cooler body flush against his warmer one.
"I do not think you are my t'hy'la... I know you are, James. I have know since I first touched you. I do not wish to keep you here as my pet. I want you to stay here as my lover, my equal, my mate. You say that there are people in your own universe that probably miss you, and if that is true, I feel for them, but if you leave me, I will not simply miss you... I will perish without you."
Kirk wills his body not to react to Spock's intoxicating presence and tempting words, but it has other plans as he leans up so that his lips are only a hairs breath away from the Vulcan's.
"Don't be over dramatic, Spock. My Spock has managed to live all this time without being bonded to me, I'm sure that you could survive as well. I'm not as special as you believe me to be."
The grip on Jim's arms tighten and he knows that come morning he is going to be sporting some magnificent looking bruises. He ignores the pain so that he may focus on the Vulcan before him, who's head is tilted back slightly so that he can gaze into Kirk's blue eyes. The blond inhales sharply as he notices the rage that has filled the Vulcan's face.
"If I was ever to meet this Spock you speak of, I would surely kill him with my bare hands for what he has done to you. He has rejected you when he should be worshipping you. I do not know how he has managed to endure without you, but please be assured that if I were to lose you, at best; I would die quickly and with hopefully little pain, most likely by my own hand. At worst; I would succumb to madness and and die a slow and agonizing death. My katra is too dependent on yours to survive without it now."
Kirk begins lifting his arms and Spock lets go of him allowing the movement. His hands finally rest on either side of the Vulcan's face and he is pulling him closer until their foreheads meet. Jim sighs brokenly.
"What am I going to do?"
The question is directed more at himself and the cosmos then it is at Spock, but the Vulcan answers him anyway.
"Bond with me. Be my mate."
Green tinged lips meet Kirk's in a hungry kiss and it only takes a beat before Jim is returning it desperately. Hands seem to be moving everywhere at once and yet Jim feels as though he isn't touching enough of the man before him. He can feel himself being led towards the bed and he knows he should put a stop to it, not only because this will only make things harder when they have to separate, but also because this is technically Selik's room and he is pretty sure that the Ambassador wouldn't want them soiling his sheets, but he can't bring himself to care when he has Spock in arms.
His golden tunic is torn from his body and it is soon followed by Spock's blue one. The back of his legs hit the bed. He sits upon it and then reclines back, as Spock crawls on top of him, never once breaking the kiss.
Kirk shivers as the Vulcan's warm hands travel down his torso, to finally land on the fastening of his regulation trousers. He reluctantly pulls away from Spock's addictive lips and gasps for breath. Spock takes this opportunity to caress Jim's jaw and neck with his lips. He bites and licks at the tender skin, which makes the blond buck against his hard body.
Kirk is panting now. His breath gusting over a pointed ear. He can barely hold onto the last of his rational mind to ask Spock the question that needs to be asked before it is too late.
"Are you sure about this, Spock? There is no going back from this once it is done."
Spock plants one last kiss upon the Human's neck before lifting his head to stare into passion filled eyes that mirror his own. A hand slowly works it's way back up Jim's golden body until it is placed against his face. His fingers rest on the blonde's psi points, not yet initiating a meld, but preparing for one.
"Of all the decisions I have made in my life, this is the first one in which I can state with 100% certainty that I have made the correct choice. Being with you could never be wrong, James. Whatever may come, know this; I would never wish to go back to a time when I did not have you, ashayam."
Kirk nods his head once.
"Good enough for me."
He lifts himself up and catches Spock's mouth in another soul searing kiss. The Vulcan's fingers twitch against his t'hy'la's face and then he is opening the connection between their minds.
As two sets of thoughts and feelings weave together to create the golden threads of their bond through the meld, two bodies express their passion for each other by becoming one in a dance that is as old a time.
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There will be some action and drama in the next chapter.
Thank you to everyone that reviewed. You guys keep me writing.