Sooo...
Is anyone still out there?
I hope so!
If you want to throw any pitchforks at me please feel free.
I deserve it.
It took me at least... At least a month to get this out.
I blame it on writers block but some stuff happened and I got inspired recently.
Woot!

Enough with the chit chat.
Get on with your bad self and start reading the chapter.
I hope you enjoy it!

Day One Continued…

Ok so let's say, hypothetically speaking of course, that someone happened to stumble upon and watch their secret almost lover make-out with a trampy two-faced slut. I may know someone who has done this recently and I just wanted to know if you would consider this person a creeper?

Hands explore. Lips touch. Tongues tease. Air, well who needs it?

I think I may be getting sick.

"I love the way you kiss me. Although I'm pretty sure your breath smells like dog."

"Funny I could have sworn it was you who smelled. You always seem to have an old lady smell to you."

"Oh God just shut up and kiss me, Edward."

I can feel the heat of his touch ghost across my skin and bile slowly starts to rise in my throat.

"Baby do you like it when I nibble on your ear like that?"

"Hehehe, can you repeat what you just said? I can't hear a thing."

"Don't worry about it then I'm just going to tongue fuck the shit out of your ear."

"Ewww Alice! Why would you even say something like that?" I ask while I sit up from where I was laying down.

"It was the only thing that came to mind and I didn't hear you say anything funny." She says while looking away from the scene that is unfolding before her.

"I'm trying to hold back my vomit." I tell her which is definitely not a lie.

"Blah, blah, blah is all I'm hearing, Bella."

The entire time I've watched Edward, now dubbed the Jerk, and Kate make-out I've felt myself sink deeper and deeper into the deep end.

How could he do this to me? I hate him. I fucking hate him!

But really, whom am I kidding here? I love that dumb ass.

Therefore, I guess I'm a dumb ass for loving him.

"We need to go. If I don't leave right now I think I may puke." I tell Alice as I stand up and brush off the leaves and dirt that have clung to my shirt and pants.

"Definitely, I'm pretty sure it's a crime in all 50 states to watch your brother make-out with anyone. Period. End of story. Fin. Should I keep going?" She asks innocently as she also removes the dirt and brush from her own clothes.

"I think you got the point across. I also think we should go get dinner started. Ugh, I hate how I opened my big fat mouth and invited everyone and their mother to come eat dinner." I start to complain but Alice soon takes over.

"I don't know about you but I better not be stuck with making food this entire weekend. I will kill if I have to cook every day. Do you know what cooking can do to your nail? I'm so going to have to get a manicure when we get back to Forks."

I can do this, I tell myself. I do this every day at home. Why should it be any different from any other day? Just because we're in the God forsaken forest where if we died no one would find us for at least a few day, or worse, weeks!

No. Stop yourself right there Isabella Swan. You are a young, intelligent and independent woman who can handle any obstacle that is set in front of her, except for knowing how to seduce a boy like Kate does.

"How about you just stop talking to yourself Swan and get to cooking. I'll supervise." Alice says in her authoritative voice while she pushes me towards the designated cooking and eating area. "I swear when you start your inner monologues all I hear is 'Mur mur fuck meh mur gah shit gah gah.' come out of your mouth. It's almost as if you're not even thinking in English." She says while taking a seat on one of the camping chairs near the foldable table.

"You know you could help me, Alice." I say while I busy myself with getting things laid out and prepared so I won't have to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

"Nope, I'm not going to ruin my manicure. I've decided that no matter how far away we are from anything beauty related I can't do damage to myself. It's not right."

I huff out an exaggerated breath while also trying to get my fringe out of my eyes. I hate that I let Alice convince me into getting it cut. Hats would help but those are forbidden andthe consequences are severe. I'll never disobey any of the rules set by Alice Cullen again. I repeat never ever again. I can't even think about it without bursting out into tears.

"Are you thinking about the '07 incident?" She asks me while peering over my shoulder, as I'm balls deep in boiling water and kosher salt.

"Fuck, Alice if you don't move from behind me you're going to push me into the fire and I will burn to death. Now scoot back or so help me God I will push you in here myself." I threaten her through clenched teeth.

"I just want everything to go according to plan. How do you even plan on putting the eye drops into the food without all of us getting sick?" I roll my eyes at her. Seriously, how in the hell did she take all AP classes in high school when she couldn't figure out how we were going to lace the bimbo's food individually with eye drops to give them a ragging case of the shit?

"Alice, oh my god, if you don't shut the fuck up right now I'm going to chop you in the throat so hard you won't be able to talk." I yell at her. The look she has on her face afterwards breaks my heart… if I had a heart. She doesn't have me fooled that easily. "Nice try, take those sad puppy dog eyes somewhere else."

"Bitch," I hear her mutter as she backs up and comes to stand in front of me on the other side of the camping grill. "You can be a real a-hole sometimes you know that? I mean what if I was really going to cry that time?" I start to laugh at that. I mean come on; this girl has a heart as black as mine. We don't cry.

"What's up with you anyways? Are you broken? These mood swings," she begins to bob her head back and forth then side to side, "are giving me major whiplash."

"No I'm not broken!" I screech at her. "Do you think I would ever come camping when Aunt Flow came to visit? What if a bear smelled the blood and came to kill me?" Maybe she has a point about the mood swings.

"I think a wolf or a mountain lion would be a better guess." She answers haughtily.

"You know what I meant. That's all that matters. I wouldn't come out here when I'm bleeding to death. That's just nasty. I mean what are we suppose to do, just have a bunch of blood…"

"Please just stop whatever you were saying. I think my ears may never stop bleeding after what I just heard." Cue the dramatic music, dun, dun, dun.

It hadn't occurred to me that Edward would be able to pry himself away from Kate for two seconds. So surprise surprise as I stand in front of the pot of boiling water that I almost knock it over from the shock that he is here with me… and Alice. Suddenly I'm falling forward, towards said pot of lava hot liquid. Edward's left hand expertly darts out to steady the pot while using his right hand to pull me back from getting a nice steaming bath.

Oh my God, he's touching me!

"Bella make sure that you don't overcook the noodles. Bleh, mushy noodles are disgusting. Have you ever had mushy noodles? Not the best experience." She answers her own question while doing something I don't know. I can't see anything but green. Beautiful green. All I can think is, yes, I have had mushy noodles before and it just so happened to be the last time you made them. Of course, I don't tell her this because it would hurt her feelings and I only have her as my sidekick today.

"Looking good, B. Pasta, delicious, its my favorite. You don't want to leave the noodles on the fire for too long. Godzilla over there has a point, mushy noodles, bleh." Edward whispers into my ear and I can't help the shiver that works its way down my body and settles right there in the between my legs. Anger soon replaces any lust that I was feeling after I can process what he's saying.

"Will you guys stop telling me how to cook? Last time I checked I could cook more than a bowl of cereal, or heat up a hot pocket in the microwave." Damn them, I should let them starve this weekend. Sounds like a great plan to me.

"Technically you don't cook a bowl of cereal." Edward points out.

"You know what I meant, freak." A smile slowly creeps its way on to my face. I'm useless I can't stay mad at the man for long. Not even for five minutes. I'm screwed.

"What time is it anyways? I thought you said dinner would be ready at 7. Bella, are you going to make me wait all night?" Oh, God. I had so many witty remarks I could say right now, but Alice was here and I was still mad at him for pulling me away earlier and giving me a talk.

"Seriously, your hounding me about dinner? The least you both could do is help me out here, but no Pikachu knows everything," I say while waving my hands in the air side to side. Now my anger is bubbling in me like the spaghetti sauce that I keep forgetting to stir.

Shit, stir, Swan, stir!

I feel his right hand trail down from my right arm to my hip and he leans down to whisper into my ear again which sends shivers all over my body. Damn this boy knows how to touch me in just the right way to get me to shut up and cool down. Or heat up. Ehhh…

"Get back you freak, you're going to push her into the flame and then I'm going to have to avenge her death and kill you." Alice threatens her brother while dancing over to Edward's side to push him away from me. Obviously, she hadn't witnessed what happened minutes before.

Damn you, Alice damn you! I mentally wave a fist at her.

"Where are you taking Edward, Alice?" I ask her. "You're acting like a freak lately… Well more than usual." I say.

"Blah, blah, blah, Bella that's all I can hear from you. Plus I think I'm too far away." She bellows out.

"Great." I say aloud and obviously I'm speaking to myself because Alice was the only one keeping me company.

B&E

God, I could kill Alice right about now. Since she left with Edward a million years ago, I've been stuck making tonight's dinner, alone.

Do you know how hard it is to cook by yourself?

Ok, well now put yourself in the wilderness. Exactly, ten times the pain in the ass.

As I finish pouring the finished pasta sauce into a dish, I can hear leaves and branches being stepped on and I am grateful that I can hear everything out here in the forest so I can actually defend myself.

Watch out everyone I got a plastic spoon covered in boiling hot tomato sauce.

At first I can barely make out the silhouette of a child, oh wait never mind it's just Alice… who is covered from head to toe in dirt… a lot of dirt and she also happens to be carrying a few rolls of toilet paper.

"Ummm…" I begin to say.

"Nope, I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to go get cleaned up and changed. After you're done covering the food, you should do the same. This is about to get good." She says while juggling the rolls of toilet paper and not taking one look at me or the delicious food that I just slaved over!

B&E

Outfit. Check.

Hair. Check.

Make-up Alice insisted me on wearing. Check.

Evil villain and trusty minion. Check and nowhere to be found.

Its go time. Now or never.

God, is it poop cramps or is it butterflies in my stomach that have magically grown razors on their wings cause it feels like they're trying to cut their way out of my body.

I think I may need to rethink this diabolical plan. There's still time to come up with something else. You know we do have a couple more days. It would have been better to get them out of here ASAP but let's be real, drugging someone like this is evil.

Pure evil.

Karma is going to have a field day with Alice and I. She is going to fuck us retarded with something hard and sand papery.

Alice scares me far more though. I can already imagine the steam coming out of every orifice of her body. She is going to be so pissed when I tell her that I'm chickening out and that I want to get rid of the girls a different way.

Now if I could only find her.

I stand up and open the tent to go out into our campsite and I can feel my stomach take a forty-foot vacation to the bottom of my feet. I see everyone here. Dressed immaculately and I know I look like a rag doll compared to the wicked witches of the North, South, East and West.

Cause you know Alice is in the same category as the "fancy cars" cause she looks amazing in just a pair of perfectly torn up shorts and a plain black tee. Of course the fancy cars are dressed to the nines even though we are IN THE FOREST!

Six inch heels? Six inch stiletto heels in the soft dirt nonetheless! Bitch how is it possible that every time you take a step you aren't stuck in the damn dirt?

It's not fair.

I knew it.

My parents cursed me, most likely my own mother. She always "joked" that I ruined her figure but that she still loved me. Lies. Lies. Lies. If she loved me she would have made me a beautiful Amazon like these dressed up Barbie's that are flaunting their goodies all out in public.

I need to suck it up. I need to show them that I am not at all fazed. Not one GD bit.

"Hey guys! Are you all ready to eat?" I say. My resolve to poison these bitches growing exponentially every time I take a step closer to the table that is holding our dinner. I can see the sly smile that Alice has on her face and my prior panic attack of Karma getting me back is blown away by the fact that I definitely don't like these girls and that I want them gone tonight.

I will not be watching Kate make out with Edward one second longer this weekend. I'm going to make it my mission to have him know that I will no longer be his booty call. As much as I might enjoy our secret romps in his car, I will not be hidden from sight any longer. I want people to know that we are "together".

Take it or leave it mister. Cause I am no longer a doormat.

Nope.

Sooo...
Yeah?
No?
Maybe?
As always lemme know what you al think.