Again, this goes to my beta Phantom Kino. Thank you so much.
Italian translation: Isn't he missing me?
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own this anime nor characters or place, except for my own OC. Also, I do not own the script of Paprika in which I use at the beginning of a certain scene.
Chapter 1: Non é lui que mancha?
"I must say I'm flattered by your request."
"Well, it was the only course of action if I wanted you all to myself."
"Hm, how aggressive. I'm enjoying your assertiveness. I think I wouldn't mind having you as my private customer, Mai."
Mai smirked as her sustained ego was fed by the dark-dressed gentlemen. She crossed her legs tightly and leaned her left shoulder a bit lower than her right to extend herself farther out in the open. She placed her right hand underneath her chin draping her slender fingers over her cheek, barely toughing her bottom lip.
"Kaoru, stop throwing compliments my way. I know that's what you usually do with the other… customers, but please, spare the flattery with me. I'm actually interested in getting to know the true Kaoru Hitachiin." Mai raised her eyebrows for emphasis and reached out an arm, placing it daringly on Kaoru's thigh. Her painted lips raised into a smile, looking almost genuine to Kaoru's eyes.
Kaoru glanced at her hand rested on his thigh quickly before returning his attention towards her face. She had chiseled features; although, from afar, she seemed common, merely common. Now Kaoru could really see her face, and it was magnificent. Aside from her beauty, he wasn't sure what to think of this woman sitting before him. He had seen her with other hosts; however, she always seemed oddly distant from her reality. Maybe that is the reason she requested him. He would always and forever be distant from his reality.
"You are right, Kaoru. I did request you for such… lonely reasons. All of the moments that I've seen you, you smile and say beautiful words to your hosts, but neither your eyes nor your heart is there." She paused and sighed slowly, but Kaoru decided not to interrupt her. "I suppose people could say the same about me." She smiled warmly, removing her hand from Kaoru's leg, replacing it with a glass of red wine, shaking in circles throughout the glass.
Kaoru was baffled, but also appreciated the honesty of the woman before him. He smiled as well, truly smiled. Nothing was fake. Nothing was plastic. It was warm and welcoming.
"You have truly amazed me in this short time that I've had the pleasure of your acquaintance. I must know, Mai; how did you read my mind?"
Mai chuckled lightly taking a sip of her wine, her lipstick leaving no stain. She spun the glass around in her hands as she sighed, "It's all in the eyes, Kaoru. You have such deep, captivating eyes that are hard to ignore when they're sad or filled with contemplations."
Kaoru smirked, crossing his legs. "I guess I could say the same for you, Mai." Kaoru honestly hadn't felt this mischievous ever since Hikaru left. He had yet to find someone who didn't mind playing games and engaging in roguish wordplay. He felt drawn to this woman sitting before him, her eyes searching his. A gray slither that worked its way through his system, through his body, through his mind. He could almost see the depths of her, so very similar to his own. Wasn't it opposites that supposedly attracted?
Mai and Kaoru sat for a moment; a blissful sixty seconds engaged in ruthful hide and seek through their eyes. There were hills and caverns around them, dark and ignorant trees with holes throughout them to help than hear the exchange of mind. Blades of grass blithered in the wind and hoped to be picked up by the wind. A field was set for them, ablaze with blue fire that meshed the very—
A knock at the door.
Kaoru was the first to lift his eyes, his gaze flickering over to the door of the private room. He let out a soft sigh and smiled at Mai. She kindly returned the gesture, nodding her head as if to give him permission.
"Yes?" Kaoru breathed, running a hand through his auburn hair. He recalled how Hikaru's hair felt the same way the last time he had touched it. He cursed himself inwardly for choosing this time to remember such a thing. Kyoya's persuasive drawl broke him from his thoughts.
"Mai, I offer my deepest apologies, but I need to inform you that your time with Kaoru must come to an end."
Kaoru smirked. Always like Kyoya to be so formal.
Mai caught his smile and rolled her eyes at the door, causing Kaoru to quietly laugh. Mai stood then and gracefully walked to the door, her back looking radiant in the dim light of the room. She slowly opened the door to reveal the smug face of a slightly aged Kyoya. His round glasses were drawn to his nose as usual, although his hair had grown out a bit. Strands of jet black hair fell across his face, giving his soft features a more distinct look. He was still tall, dark, and even more handsome.
Kaoru laughed to himself. We were all quite good looking high school boys, he thought. But we are all better looking men.
"I see you two have become quite well-acquainted," Kyoya drawled. Kaoru could hear the evident amusement in his voice. Kyoya raised a perfectly lined eyebrow and stepped into the room.
"May I be expecting your presence again soon, Mai?" he asked, whilst sliding his hand into his jacket pocket, only to reveal a small, black book and pen.
Mai smiled, flicking her eyes to Kaoru's, searched for the answer to the question. She met gazes with Kyoya moments later and her lips stretched into a smile that Kaoru could only recognize as pompous.
"Well Mr. Ootori, if it is to Kaoru's satisfaction, then I would like to have a private hosting twice a month, every month, on the first and third Wednesday for two hours. I hope that won't be an issue?" She turned to Kaoru and raised an eyebrow in mockery when she noticed the blood rushing to his cheeks. He coughed lightly and stood, walking toward Mai. He took her hand boldly and drew it to his mouth, letting his hot breath flow onto her hands.
"It would be my pleasure, Mai." He sighed as he gently pressed his lips against her knuckles, never pulling his gaze from hers.
"Please, come. Have a drink with me."
"Are you sure? What about closing?"
"It's quite alright. We've been friends for some time now, and I know when a friend needs a drink."
"But I… I really do need a drink. Thank you for offering, Kyoya." Kaoru sighed, defeated. Kyoya smiled and gestured for Kaoru to follow him into his office. He complied.
"It is but a pleasure of mine, Kaoru."
Kyoya took long, graceful strides into his large office space as Kaoru followed. The room was magnificent, but Kaoru was not in the least bit surprised. He breathed in and found that the smell of the room was pleasant, like the smell an old book would give when one's fingers slid through the ruffled pages. Kaoru smiled, enjoying the peace of the evening as the sun lit another side of the earth and night swept across Japan. The room had an abundance of large windows, giving the onlooker a view of the blurring lights and masses of people that made up Tokyo.
"Here."
Kaoru looked to his left to see Kyoya holding a glass of a brown liquid, outstretched toward him. He took the glass with pleasure and enjoyed the its weight between his fingers. Kyoya's lips stretched into a smile, an anomaly that brought a sigh of joyful relief to Kaoru. Kyoya turned his face toward the windows and walked toward them, taking each step slow. Kaoru soon joined his side. A few, blissful moments of silence fell between them as they stared into the night sky and let their hands pour smooth liquid down their throats. A warm, satisfying feeling settled in their stomachs, something neither one of them wanted to forget.
"Tell me what's on your mind, Kaoru."
Kaoru set his eyes upon one of the sparkling lights that dangled in the sky and stepped a bit closer to the window.
"I'm just… not used to the change yet," he muttered, staring aimlessly at the star. He could hear Kyoya's soft breathing behind him, and it comforted him a bit.
"What change, Kaoru?" Kyoya asked, already knowing the answer to the question.
Brief silence stood between them for a momen's time before Kaoru finally spoke.
"The fact that Hikaru… is not by my side." His voice was strong and sound at first, but by the end of his statement his voice had drowned into a poignant intonation. He had never truly said why he was uncomfortable, why he was so sad. It was a revelation that burned the very skin that surrounded his flesh and bone.
Kaoru felt the soft, slender hands of Kyoya grip his right shoulder gently in consolation. A sad smile tugged at Kaoru's lips and he sighed, the sound filled with melancholy rhythm. It was possibly one of the most depressing sounds Kyoya had ever heard.
"I always knew that this... separation… would eventually happen, Kaoru. I knew that as you matured, both you and Hikaru would have to spend times apart." Kyoya paused, searching for the right words to say. This was one of the few moments that defined his character as a human being. He was never one to vacate without a perfect score. "And I must have faith that the brotherhood—"
"Brotherhood! It's been three years, and you—you call this a... a brotherhood." His voice had slowly turned to a murmur of silent cries, whispers that cried out to his heart and soul. He was broken, utterly broken.
Kyoya stared at the reflection of Kaoru's pale face on the window, yearning to give the young man that stood before him a bit of faith.
The source of light that was the subject of Kaoru's discontented glare illuminated light a bit brighter than the others, outshining the rest. It glinted in spastic patterns, as if it was laughing. Laughing at Kaoru's pitiful display of pain, of love. It laughed and giggled playfully, pointed a decrepit finger down at Kaoru. Smiling. Such a crude, smug smile...
And then it was gone. Just like that. Dead. Like a struggling firefly that finally gave up hope.
Kaoru stared at the dark spot where the star had been, its image stuck in his mind. And for the first time in his adult life…
…Kaoru Hitachiin dropped to his knees and cried.
"I wonder where the parade was going?"
"A place of no return, most likely."
"I felt like I was really close... to controlling the entire world."
"That was a dream."
Animated figures moved flawlessly upon the screen which Kaoru was barely staring at, barely listening to. His senses were unavailable and distant to him; his eyes were still burning with tears, blurring his vision, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He had given up trying to stop the discomfort.
He heard a ruffling noise coming from upstairs, in the vicinity of the kitchen. He barely paid attention to the noise. Then Kyoya appeared at the top of the stairs that led down to the parlor area where Kaoru lounged. Kyoya started down the stairs, long strides as usual, and before Kaoru could acknowledge Kyoya's presence, his senses were overwhelmed with the soothing aroma of green tea. He looked up, only to find Kyoya smiling, holding a mug of a warm liquid before him.
"I thought a bit of Sencha might clear your mind, help you sleep. I know it is of your admired teas." Kyoya whispered slipping the tea into Kaoru's shaking fingers. The warmth of the mug slowed Kaoru's heart, and his hands slowly subsided to shake.
Kaoru took slow, lingering sips of the tea, enjoying the sting of the liquid on his tongue. He felt his body relax, and his mind begin to slow. The pull of a sound sleep tugged at his brow, giving his eyelids a heavy feeling. He was so overwhelmed by this sleepy sensation that he was reluctant to notice Kyoya's figure still standing before him. Kyoya smiled, taking the mug from Kaoru's hands and placing it on the floor next to him, diminishing all ideas of proper behavior. He sat on the floor, next to the mug, and listened to the sound of Kaoru embracing sleep, whispering to himself.
"'And by a sleep to say we end the heartache... To die, to sleep… To sleep, perchance to dream…'"
Kaoru wasn't familiar with dreams; they came and went. Only in times of immense stress or discomfort did they appear. But when he did dream, he wasn't conscious. They weren't lucid, so the conscious feeling of dreaming was foreign in Kaoru's mind. Although the dream in which he was currently immersed wasn't necessarily lucid, nor completely unconscious. It was somewhere in between.
There was a deep darkness that stung Kaoru's sight, forcing itself upon him. It wasn't the type of darkness that one could see when closing his eyes, but the type of darkness that held no weight, no depth, nothing.
Although Kaoru had lost his sense of sight, he could feel and hear his surroundings. He had fallen asleep upon the soft couch in his home's parlor; he could feel the gentle touch of the cashmere blanket wrapped tightly around his body. He heard the faint sound of a sleepy moan and remembered Kyoya was with him. Kaoru desperately tried to lift the thin membrane of skin that fell over his eyes, but it was almost as if some other worldly force was keeping his eyes from opening.
Then he felt it.
Long, slender fingers trailing patterns along his back, inching closer and closer around his body. Ten fingers licked gently at his skin, five along his shoulder blade and five along his waist. Kaoru was cringing, shaking at the touch. He felt a body, slightly larger than his own press against his with soft force. Devoid of compassion, overridden with possession. He felt the body tighten its hold around him, pressing its cold flesh up against his own.
Kaoru shivered, and he could barely hear the faint sound of a distant chuckle slowly slithering its way toward his ears. He could feel his lips opening, and he could feel the dry sensation spreading through the cavern of his mouth. But he couldn't hear the scream that he so anxiously tried to free from the pit of his stomach.
The sudden sensation of something warm breaking through the skin of his ear, trickling down the crook of his neck had Kaoru's heart beating in a paroxysmal rhythm. The thing's heated breath panted quietly, and Kaoru could hear the amusement hidden in its gentle breaths. Kaoru fell still as the body leaned over his, pressing cold lips to the outskirts of his ear. It whispered idly, things Kaoru could not understand, but as the whispering became louder, Kaoru thrashed about as the figure's words became clear. Clear in a voice that made Kaoru's screams finally become audible.
"I am lost, Kaoru. Come to me."
Hikaru's voice echoed into his ears, until the sun decided to invade the darkness over Japan.
A/N: There is a lovely exert from Hamlet by Shakespeare in this first chapter I'd like to acknowledge. It is by far one of my favorite Shakespearean quotes. I hope you enjoyed. Hopefully, I'll have the second chapter posted next week.
Ona