Another day, another chapter.
Thank you PhantomKino for betaing me!
Just a tid bit of information about what's happening. The things occurring to Kaoru is coinciding with what's happening to Hikaru which is why I set the chapters up the way I did. In threesomes. It might change as I move on, but the time is always the same. So remember that when reading.
Disclaimer: I do not own this anime, nor characters except my own OC.
Hope you enjoy! Reviews are love.
Italian translation: Two Can Be As Bad As One (One by Three Dog Night)
Chapter 3: Due possono essere così grave come uno
"It's just me! Just me…"
"No! You are not him! You're NOT HIM!"
"Calm down… please. Just stop shaking . . ."
"You're not him. You're not him. . ." Kaoru cried, cycling through his words while Kyoya tried desperately to hold him.
Kyoya wished he had the simple touch that Hikaru did to soothe Kaoru, for his simple embraces did him no good. Kaoru continued screaming, calling out the same words. Tears streamed down his face, leaving salty white trails. He was shivering violently and several beads of sweat made their way down his body. His shouts were agonizing, touching Kyoya's soul; he sounded pitiful in all his youth.
Kyoya continued trying to wake Kaoru, but he failed each time. He decided to take a different approach, adjusting his weight on the couch. He placed two hesitant hands on Kaoru's shoulders and pressed his entire body onto him, letting his weight drop. Kaoru persisted to struggle underneath him, his screams muffled by the fabric of Kyoya's shirt. Kyoya felt the thin cotton of it dampen as it absorbed Kaoru's many tears. Kyoya sighed, strengthening his hold on Kaoru.
"Open your eyes, Kaoru." Kyoya whispered sadly, his resolve breaking. He was beginning to lose his hold on Kaoru as he threatened to topple onto the floor. His muscles began to ache, and the Kaoru's kicking was beginning to bruise him. Kyoya whispered a soft imprecation before falling to the floor, bringing Kaoru with him. Kyoya sighed in pain as his recently bruised back hit the floor; Kaoru's weight added unwanted pressure to the fall. Kyoya stayed laying there, not having the energy to move.
Kaoru slowed his thrashing, resting his head in the crook of Kyoya's neck. He finally looked somewhat peaceful to Kyoya; although, his pale skin and the trails left of his tears made him look shattered. Kyoya stared at the ceiling, trying to forget the throbbing pain that was overtaking him. His muscles were still aching, and his back was an even worse state. He closed his eyes, exhaustion beginning to swell around him.
"Kyoya?" an almost unrecognizable voice murmured. Kyoya nearly gasped at the amount of utter fear expressed in the tone.
"Yes, yes. It's me. Just me, Kaoru. Just Kyoya," Kyoya breathed, propping himself on his elbows. Kyoya watched Kaoru as he pushed against his chest, a confused look upon his face. He looked a bit more calm, but sparks of fear were still dancing across his face. His eyebrows were pulled together in a confused stance, and his cheeks were flushed to a passionate red. His eyes were what struck Kyoya the most though. Fear was strewn across those orbs, while his pupils were dilated in pain. Kyoya was swept off his feet as he stared curiously into those eyes; he could almost taste the terror on his tongue and feel the sickening pain in his stomach.
"Kyoya, I-"
"Don't talk." Kyoya muttered, interrupting Kaoru. Kaoru stared at Kyoya with hopeful eyes. "You don't need to say anything for now, Kaoru."
"No, Kyoya. I have to tell someone," Kaoru said sternly, lifting off of Kyoya. "You'd be better at analyzing this than anyone else."
Kyoya locked gazes with Kaoru once more, seeing the fear still flowing in his eyes.
"Okay."
Kaoru lifted completely off of Kyoya and settled down at his feet, leaning his back against the couch. Kyoya followed suit, sitting next to him. A few moments of tense silence followed; the only sounds audible were the anxious breaths Kaoru took.
"I was screaming and... moving about, wasn't I?" Kaoru asked softly, his voice wavering.
"Yes, you were thrashing about quite aggressively," Kyoya answered truthfully, weariness obvious in his voice.
Kaoru sighed, resting his head on his knees. "It was like nothing I've ever felt, Kyoya." Kaoru began explaining the weird dream to Kyoya in detail while Kyoya stayed silent, watching the other's body language. There was a fluidity about Kaoru's motions in the light of fear that made Kyoya even more curious than he already was. Kaoru was showing himself, all of himself, to Kyoya, and he appreciated it.
"It held me with a possessiveness that I've never felt before. It was straining to keep me near, almost like it needed me. I couldn't escape, Kyoya. It kept grabbing and reaching for me; I just knew it was a dream, but in dreams you can see what's happening. You can see your surroundings. I couldn't see anything." Kaoru's voice was shaking, and Kyoya could see he was trying desperately to hold back tears. He guessed he'd cried himself dry during the dream. "And then it spoke. It spoke just like him. It sounded just like him. I could never forget that voice, Kyoya. Never." Kyoya instantly knew the subject of the dream; Kaoru never talked about anyone other than Hikaru with such passion.
Kaoru's voice hushed, leaving the room in silence once more. Kyoya wasn't sure if he was crying or laughing by the sound of his voice. Kyoya put a shaky hand on Kaoru's back, trying desperately to soothe him. He gained no success.
"What did he say, Kaoru? What did the voice say?" Kyoya asked finally, knowing if he didn't ask, he wouldn't receive an answer. Kaoru stayed in the same position for a moment longer, muttering inaudible phrases.
"'Come to me, Kaoru. I am lost,'" Kaoru whispered with a gentle breath.
Kyoya was a bit confused at first, but that moment was gone in a second as he comprehended the situation. He let the phrase sit between them, pondering over several ideas in his head. He knew Kaoru missed Hikaru awfully, but the style of dream wasn't fitting to pure loneliness. It was something else, something unworldly. Supernatural ideas were never something Kyoya believed, but he was willing to look into it for Kaoru. The two had grown exceptionally close in the last three years, and Kyoya could feel himself wanting to do anything in his power to assist Kaoru with his problems. He decided he would look into it; he was never bored of research.
"It almost seems surreal, Kaoru. At this point, I have no accusations; however, I will be looking into this. We're going to unravel this mystery." Kyoya said sternly, wrapping an arm around Kaoru and pulling him close. He was never one for consoling people. or hugging for that matter, but he knew Kaoru needed it. He needed to be a good friend, for both their sake's. Kaoru released an exasperated sob and dove further into Kyoya's embrace.
They sat together in undisturbed, beautiful silence for the rest of the morning, staring at the blank walls before them and contemplating what to do next.
"I apologize for my disinterest."
"Your mind's somewhere else."
"I know it must be an inconvenience to you and our time together."
"I take no inconvenience when it comes to the human emotions." Mai stated, staring intensely at Kaoru. Her eyes succeeded to sink into his again, melting into his soul. Kaoru attempted to hide his emotions from her but had little success. She knew him, and it scared him to know that at any given moment she could read his thoughts. Only one other person in the world could do that to him; he was at a crossroad. Kaoru sighed, tousling his hair. He wasn't sure what to do—open up to her or change the topic of conversation. Luckily, she made that decision for him.
"Who is it?"she asked slowly, carefully. Mai knew she was overstepping her boundaries, but her connection with Kaoru left her curious and hungry. She wanted to know about him because she knew they were one in the same.
A few long seconds passed as Kaoru averted his eyes from Mai's. He contemplated briefly whether to tell her about his dream or just about his brother. Opening up to her would be admitting to her that they truly needed each other. He only needed one person.
"You look crazed, Kaoru. You look barely there." She whispered, her anguished tone of voice making Kaoru lift his eyes to hers. Her eyes were truly sad, worry filled them to the brim. Her face was also a mask of melancholy thoughts and worrisome feelings. It looked so wrong on her beautiful face; Kaoru hated it. How could he not let her know how he was feeling?
"Worry does not suit you, Mai." Kaoru muttered before he could stop himself.
"And fear does not suit you, Kaoru." She replied defiantly. Kaoru couldn't help but admire her.
His eyes strayed away from her face and down toward the gemstones that lined the waist of the gown she wore. It was midnight blue fabric that struck the room with a gentle glow that reminded Kaoru of a crescent moon. He frowned, remembering the crescent moon barely in the sky when Hikaru told him he was leaving. It was such a beautiful night. Pity it had to be swallowed by all their angst.
"It's Hikaru. My twin brother." Kaoru finally spoke, keeping his voice low. Mai stayed silent, reluctant to interrupt Kaoru's thoughts. "We haven't spoken in three years. I'm not necessarily sure why, but we haven't. We were inseparable. Joined at the hip. We knew nothing other than ourselves, and then it was gone. Just like that. Gone with the wind." Kaoru whispered the last phrase, a soft whisper illuminating off his lips.
Mai opened her mouth as to say something, but closed it quickly in apprehension. She knew the pain of having an empty space beside you when a loved one was no longer there. She understood, but would not admit this for this wasn't what Kaoru needed. He didn't need someone to console in; he needed to realize this for himself. She decided she would help with the journey.
"He didn't die. . . if that's what you're thinking." Kaoru breathed, finally letting his eyes rest on Mai's misty orbs. "We just. . . parted ways. We came out of high school as kids, and we ended our relationship as adults." Kaoru spoke with a languid sadness, as if the situation consumed him entirely.
Mai searched his eyes once more, taking full advantage of the opportunity he presented her. His autumn eyes seemed feral, bordering on madness. Something else had caused this, she knew. Pure loneliness could not be the answer. She waited a moment before speaking, letting Hikaru primarily take his eyes off of hers.
"What happened to make your mind utterly wild, Kaoru?" Mai asked in a worrisome tone. There was a moment of eerie silence between them that had Mai's fingers curling anxiously around the fabric of her dress. Mai noted Kaoru's scattered gaze, his fear overtaking him. He finally focused his eyes on hers, and she was met with a fractured gaze.
"Just a dream, Mai. Just a dream." Kaoru whispered, his voice shaky. His knuckles turned white with fear as he gripped the underside of his chair.
Mai stayed silent, wanting the information to flow out.
"Yet, it felt so real. His arms. His body. His sensations. His voice!" he cried, his breaths becoming more frustrated. Mai almost moved back in her chair with the amount of absolute maddening fear booming from Kaoru's words and body.
"They were everywhere. Every inch of me. And I couldn't see athing!" Kaoru yelled, borderline screamed. Why was no one hearing this?Mai thought, his raised voice taking her by surprise.
"You're not him….you're not him…you're not him…" Kaoru began his cycle once more, his gaze set directly on Mai's. It was an icy hot stare, that had Mai's blood coursing through her veins faster. She froze in her chair, listening to his soft, crazy voice.
They stayed frozen in time, until a knock at the door brought them back to reality.
There was a silence that filled the air.
A dark miasma covered all corners and space.
Hands that covered every inch.
And then there was a voice.
Kaoru's eyes flickered open once more, his third time that night. He'd been overridden with nightmares of dreams past. He couldn't believe how shaken the dreams had made him. Usually, he was stronger than this. Anyone else, it wouldn't bother him as much. Hikaru always had that effect on him.
Kaoru sat up in his bed, cupping his sweaty forehead with his hand. He sighed tiredly, resenting the amount of darkness covering the room. It was nauseating the way the shadows seemed to mimic the darkness from his dream. There was no light. Kaoru stood up out of bed, his head hanging low. He struck the lights on as he walked slowly over to his washroom, enjoying the rays of artificial light. He sighed sadly, realizing how absurd it seemed to bask in the rays of something so artificial.
Kaoru cleared his mind of these thoughts, making his way to the washroom near his bedroom. He stepped in, flipping the light switch and ignoring the relief it gave him. He looked himself over in the mirror, not enjoying what he observed. He looked absolutely pathetic. His hair was glazed to his head with a thick coat of sweat, and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. His clothes stuck to his body in a manner that made him look meager. He leaned against the counter and took his eyes away from his own. He wasn't sure what to do; he would enjoy company, but calling anyone at this hour would be impolite. He decided he might as well dress himself ; after all, sleep was not his companion at the moment.
He turned the faucet on, making sure the water was icy. He cupped water in his hands and splashed his face a few times, waking himself from his slumber. He looked himself in the mirror again; he looked presentable at least. He grabbed a towel off of a shelf and wiped his face. He looked in the mirror once more and tried to fix his hair, combing his fingers through it, but he knew he needed to shower.
He began stripping himself of his clothing when he noticed a black spot forming on his face. Blemishes don't form that quickly, Kaoru thought. He touched his face, feeling the spot. He couldn't feel it, but he could see that the spot was growing. He began to panic a bit, noticing that as he touched it the blemish, it grew. Then he noticed something that scared him a bit more.
The growing blemish was no spot at all, but a hole.
A hole was growing in his face, stretching further across his cheeks. He panicked, touching his hands to his face not sure what to do. But everywhere he touched, another hole formed until his face was ridden with them, small but growing. Along his arms. Along his neck. Tiny holes, thickening in his skin.
His skin became soft against his hands, melting like cheese. He tried screaming, but his melting skin was blocking his airways. He tried desperately to leave the room, but something was causing him to stay. The same unworldly feeling filled him as it did in his first abnormal dream. This must be a dream he thought, staring at his face and body as his skin peeled and melted away. As his skin began to pool around him, underneath was something horrible to behold.
The last of his being stretched around him as he stood staring at a darker form identical to his own in the mirror.
He would've guessed it was himself; although, the scared look he knew was plastered on his face did not mimic the cynical smirk on the forms lips.
"Hi-ka-ru?" he asked, his teeth chattering with fear.
His darker twin chuckled, the same chuckle that rung in his ears continuously. "Kaoru, why question something you already know?" it asked, the chilling voice sending vibrations up and down Kaoru's spine.
"Why are you doing this?" Kaoru screamed, his voice raising with rage.
"Isn't it obvious?" it responded, reaching a hand through the mirror and grabbing Kaoru's hand. Its fingers were cold around Kaoru's, and its grip was hard with possession.
"I love you."
Kaoru couldn't take it. He dove forward, ripping his hand away from Hikaru's image. He grasped the candle holder sitting on the countertop and began hitting the mirror with it. He struck with all his rage and worry until his fingers bled, and the mirror was a pile of broken shards. He settled down then, backing away from the razor-edged glass until his back hit the wall. He slid down the wall, ignoring the searing pain of the hand that had held onto the candle holder.
Then he felt it once more. Fingers gripping onto his shoulders, moving further. The same warm sensation touched his ear, and his breath hitched in his throat as the voice spoke once more.
"You're not quite through with me yet, Kaoru."