Ciao, lettori. Come Stai?
Thank you all so much for the nice reviews! I'm so happy I've got people that follow me. I find it so interesting I have a reader whose natural language is Spanish! I love Spanish. I love anything foreign for that matter. Rochy, Muchas gracias para los palabras muy simpaticos! Yo tratare de actualizar tan pronto como sea posible! Sorry for the faulty accents!
Even though I didn't get it to you, thank you for being my beta PhantomKino.
Italian Translation: Run, Runaway/ Lost, lost my mind (Runaway by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
Chapter 4- Corri, corri via/ perso, Perso la testa
"It can't be."
"Oh, but it can, love"
"Love. . . it can't be."
"But love is all I feel for you, Hikaru."
Hikaru had given up trying to break the thing's hold. He had given up trying to formulate disgusted words or phrases as rebuttals to its continuous remarks. He decided he would let his tears flow aimlessly from his eyes, like the slurs of a drunken bard. He decided he'd wait, wait until he woke from this terrible dream because that was the only logical explanation he could devise in his current state of weakness.
Hikaru was beginning to believe he would never wake from this dream, that the world was blocking him from painting on its beautiful canvas. The pavement was cold upon his skin; he was sure his cheeks were flushed an unruly red. His fingernails dug into the small crevices between the stones that made up the streets, and to his surprise, he invited the taste of blood upon his tongue from his constant nibbling on his lip. It let him believe he was still alive somewhere.
"It can't be." He whispered once more, removing his fingers from the pavement and touching the skin of the thing that held him. It was cold, like skin after spending hours playing in the snow. Hikaru dug his fingers into it, and that only succeeded to create the low, scratchy giggle that produced a warm breath on his neck.
"Hikaru, my pain is yours. You should stop trying to hurt yourself." It said, a growl sounding from what Hikaru imagined was a throat.
Hikaru shed a few more tears as he felt the pain of his own nails digging desperately into his skin. It stung sharply sending pain up his arm. He whimpered, knowing if he screamed he'd resent it.
"It can't be." He spat again through gritted teeth.
'It can't be." He said again, bordering on yelling.
It chuckled once more, tightening its hold around Hikaru's body. Hikaru held his breaths, ready for whatever was coming.
"It can't be!" He screamed once more, anticipating the sharp, stinking developing in his lower back.
"You're hurting me, Hika." It said, feigning pain.
"It can't be!" he screamed, louder each time. He continued to repeat the same words, abandoning all genius he had left. He thrashed about madly, trying to break free of it's embrace. It laughed again, spluttering as if his screaming brought it so much comic relief, it were about to cry.
"IT CAN'T BE!" Hikaru boomed, shutting his eyes and breaking the bond. He struggled out of it's grasp as frantic tears ran down his already damp cheeks. He writhed around like a man on a fire, his paranoia getting the best of him. As his breath calmed, he felt the familiar feeling of the sun on his skin. He wanted to crack his eyes open and bask in it, but he was afraid of what he'd discover.
"Signore? Signore?" he heard a faint voice say. "Signore, stai bene? Are you okay?"
Hikaru opened his eyes, and he was met with warm, green eyes and a generous smile. A man stood before him, hand out toward him. The rays of the morning sun bathed across his face in a way that made his sympathetic smile seem even more genuine. Hikaru could only manage a small smile, but that seemed efficient to the man.
Hikaru lifted himself from the ground, after realizing he was laying upon a small sidewalk. The gracious man helped him from the ground and wiped the dirt from his shirt. Hikaru wasn't sure what was happening around him; his conscious mind was still engorged in his strange dream. He glanced around him, noticing the large crowd that surrounded him. He was sure he was the epitome of panic. He looked at the man who helped him once more, and flashed what he hoped was an appreciative smile. He stalked away then, not necessarily sure where he was going.
He could still feel it's hands floating across his skin, and his fingers still shook from nerves. He was sure to onlookers, his mind looked half gone as he walked down the street. His eyes were still wide in panic, something he couldn't seem to control.
He passed a bottler shop he knew, and continued down the street. Destination home. He walked for only a few minutes before arriving at his shared home with Annata. He fumbled with the lock for a bit, his hands still shaking, before opening the door and walking into their apartment.
He instantly felt the fatigue overcome him as he walked through the door. He stumbled in and heard Annata call his name from the direction of the kitchen. He found the nearest empty wall to the right of him and pressed his back to it, sliding down the wall until he hit the floor. He let his head lull at his knees while his hands wrapped around his legs.
Hikaru heard Annata's tired footstep as she shuffled into the room. He heard her sigh softly before making her way over to him. She slid down the walk next him, invading his personal space. She took his hand in hers and traced soothing circled across his palm.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us, Hikaru. Remember that" Annata whispered, wrapping her arms around Hikaru's small form.
"You'll need it."
"I am aware of some. . .complications"
"I wouldn't call them complications. Just some. . .personal issues."
"And that's perfectly fine. If you need time. . ."
"Per favore, Biagio. I am in no need of your sympathies. I'm here for business anyhow." Hikaru said, lifting his eyes to meet Biagio's blue orbs. He hid beneath his professionalism, not letting his emotions show. He didn't want to ruin his chance for business with Biagio.
Biagio raised his hands as to say "surrender" and leaned back in his chair. "Bene, bene, Hikaru. Well then, let's talk business." He said smirking at his words.
"Summer is arriving, and I want your pieces to be my centerfold. The plan is simple, Hikaru. My museum will be showcasing your work for half the summer, so you can become known in the art industry of Italy. The other half of the season will consist of numerous events around Italy where we will present your artwork before critiques and collectors. By the winter season, collezionisti vorranno la vostra arte. Collectors will want your art in their collection." Biagio paused, smiling at Hikaru and taking a sip of his gin.
"But we must do this correctly, Hikaru." Biagio continued, leaning into his words. "I know this might seem difficult for you." Biagio whispered, suddenly becoming very apprehensive. He looked at Hikaru once more, analizing his stature carefully before saying, "I want the majority of your work to consist of your relationship with your brother."
Hikaru's eyes widened before immensely saddening. His shoulders slumped a bit in his chair, and Biagio caught his obvious discomfort with the subject. Biagio caught his stare, regretting it so. He could see the blatant demise coursing through his eyes, and was there fear as well?
"Your work tends to tell very intricate tales, and I believe the addition of your twin sibling could bring about something Florence has yet to see." Biagio blurted before giving Hikaru a chance to answer him.
A few moments of silence passed while Hikaru's stare cycled from sadness, anger, fear, and back to sadness. Biagio felt the strangest feeling of déjà vu, like he was interrupting something that had yet to occur. He shifted in his chair anxiously, hoping Hikaru would take his offer.
"Give me a few months Biagio, and I'll have the pieces ready for the summer." Hikaru whispered, his eyes lingering somewhere near the third button of Biagio's shirt. Biagio waited, expecting Hikaru's eyes to flicker up to his. When they did, he smiled widely hoping it would somewhat reassure Hikaru.
"Certo! Take as much time as you'd like, Hikaru. I don't want anything holding your creativity back." Biagio said with enthusiasm. He was absolutely beaming with joy at Hikaru's words; Hikaru was somewhat happy he could bring joy to at least one person in his life. Biagio leaned forward, retrieving his glass from the table and reaching it out toward Hikaru.
"A toast!" he proclaimed, waiting for Hikaru to copy his movement. Biagio noticed melancholy aura that illuminated around Hikaru, his eyes were glassy from holding back unwanted tears and his body language was all but happy. Biagio frowned a bit, sighing softly under his breath. Biagio would've loved the opportunity to know Hikaru as a child, to be his friend. But he knew he knew he needed to keep their relationship professional; nothing good would come of him meddling in Hikaru's affairs.
When Hikaru finally let his hand wrap around his glass and lift it towards Biagia's extended arm, he dropped his gaze slowly. Biagio waited patiently, needing the connection of their gazes to make the deal. Long, tense seconds passed as Hikaru's breathing accelerated and slowed continuously. Hikaru's breathing calmed slowly, while his tense body relaxed. He finally looked up at Biagio, and he almost gasped at the amount of sadness swelling in those eyes.
Biagio was ready to dismiss HIkaru, but Hikaru abruptly closed the space between their glasses with a loud clunk. I seemed utterly out of place in the uneasy, distressing moment.
Biagio cleared his throat, his eyes wavering away from Hikaru's. He decided to continue with his original toast, seeing as Hikaru seemed barely there at that moment.
"Carpe diem, Hikaru." Biagio whispered, setting his glass on the table and standing. He was certain the conversation had ended moments before. He stared down at Hikaru, not sure what to say or what to do.
Hikaru stayed seated, gripping his glass like a lifeline. His hand was flushing a fiery red; Biagio suspected if he gripped any harder, the glass might shatter. He was shaking, shivering as if someone's cold hands were walking up his spine.
"It can't be" Hikaru muttered, barely audible.
"Scusi?" Biagio asked, leaning a bit closer to Hikaru.
Abruptly, Hikaru lifted his head, his eyes instantly connecting to Biagio's. A cynical smile twisted on his lips as he lifted his glass slowly. His poignant eyes didn't quite meet his smile.
"And carpe ominous, Biagio."
"Can't sleep?"
"Not at all."
"Come on. Into my bed."
"Annata, I couldn't possibly-" Hikaru began, staring at her outline in her bedroom.
"Hey, it should be me that's worried about you in my bed. Don't you dare try anything, pretty boy." Annata said tiredly, trying to add some sort of humor to the situation. Hikaru appreciated her effort.
"I would never." Hikaru whispered, climbing into her bed. He picked up an extra pillow from the floor beside the bed, so his head was elevated the way he liked. It was a bit odd for him, sleeping in someone else's bed. Other than Kaoru. He had this strange expectation that Annata would eventually wrap herself around him, but he knew it was a lost cause.
He moved as close as he dared to Annata, whoes body was turned inward so her body was facing his. He decided to lay on his back for now, reluctant to disturb Annata's sleep pattern with his moving about.
He stared up at the ceiling at first; he new he didn't want to go to sleep. He had been avoiding it for the last few days, the dreams unwanted. He let his eyes wander around the room, trying to discover something interesting to watch in the room. He noticed a medium-seized mirror on the opposite wall. He could see the dark outline of his reflection and Annata's sleeping form as well. Moonlight struck across the bed, bathing them both in its rays. Hikaru stared at himself aimlessly, not sure what he was looking for.
And then he saw it.
A small opening in the mirror, a black dot. Hikaru stared at it, knowing this was the beginning of another horrific hallucination. He crawled to the edge of the bed, as far he dared to go and glared. Another dot appeared on the mirror, at the edge of his cheeks. And another. Several appeared after one another, congregating on Hikaru's face.
It wasn't until the dots got bigger that Hikaru began to panic.
Hikaru touched his face and felt the hollow holes spreading across his face. He felt up his arms and felt them sprinkling across his entire body. He looked up at himself in the mirror once more. His being was wasting away. His skins was sliding off of him, bits and pieces of him. His touched his face once more before letting his skin dribble off, pooling onto the bed.
He wasn't surprised at what he saw in the mirror.
"Hi-ka-ru?" he heard it say, it almost sounded terrified, it's voice breaking. He didn't believe it.
"Why question something you already know!" he screamed at it, letting his anger slide off him. He leaned over, dropping his head. He didn't want to deal with this at the moment.
"Hikaru, what's happening?" he heard Annata's voice scream from behind. He'd forgotten about her. How is this possible? Why is she affected by my hallucination as well?
He disregarded that information and pivoted around. He was met with an empty bed and cold air.
"It can't be." He whispered, fear overtaking him. He'd lost control, finally. He let it all fall out.
"Why would you do this!" he shouted, rebellious tears toppling over his eyes and cheeks. They streamed down his face with vigor. The only response he received was a deep chuckle, one he'd never forget. He spun around once more, staring into those cold eyes that once harbored such warmth, such compassion.
"I don't understand. It can't be! Don't you know that I love you." He whispered the last words, words so foreign to his lips for the past years. It felt forced, unnatural.
And then the mirror shattered to pieces. Right before his eyes. He was gone, broken into a million pieces right before his eyes. Evil or not, Hikaru wished he could've saved him. He'd rather have it's embrace than no embrace at all.
Be careful what you wish for.
Hikaru screamed, feeling the familiar sting of its' cold arms wrapping around him. He struggled hopelessly and finally he dropped his head in defeat.
"You're not quite through with me yet, Hikaru."
A/N: Sorry for the late update. My computer's filter is broken, so I had to rewrite a good part of this chapter. It's been broken for a few weeks now, so I'm not sure when the computer shop is going to be finished with it. I will try my best to update on time, but I can't make any promises at the moment.
Also, I will be M.I.A. for about two weeks because I'll be in Italy, so most likely I won't be able to update for about three weeks. I'm not sure how the internet is in Italy, but if I have it, I'll steal someone's labtop and hopefully I'll be able to update.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us." – Henry S. Haskins
"Carpe diem"- Seize the day
"Carpe ominous" –Take it all(A friend said this to me the other day and I had to use it)
Until next time(which I hope is soon),
Ona