Chapter 2: I'm a WHAT?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're going to be a what?"

"You heard me! I'm gonna be a BROTHER!"

"Ohhhh," replies Hobbes. "Sorry that I didn't hear you the first time, what with your screaming and all –"

"Hobbes," I say sternly, standing in front of him with my hands on my hips, "get it through your head and let your brain – or whatever you have in place of a brain – process what I just told you now: I. Am. Going. To. Be. A. Brother."

I watch as Hobbes leans back in my desk chair, processing the information that I had received only minutes earlier downstairs. Thinking about it gives me the chills, and the fact that I have yet to recover from this shock makes it all the worse. I ran straight upstairs after hearing the news, screaming like a mad person, and I burst into my room, yelling at Hobbes about what I had just been told.

My mother? Pregnant? Me? A big brother? A new sibling? A life-destroyer?

Hobbes sits straight in the chair, and looks at me with a bewildered expression. "You? … A brother …?"

"Yes," I reply, chewing my bottom lip.

"Oh wow …" My best friend leans back in the chair again, mumbling something inaudible under his breath. A short silence follows … for about two seconds.

"Soooo, when are you going?"

"Wait, what?" I look at Hobbes, bemused. "When am I going where?"

Hobbes's narrows his emerald-green eyes. "You know, to the monastery."

"To the what?" I cry, throwing my hands in the air. "What the heck are you talking about, you orange flea-bag?"

"But you said you were becoming a Brother," says Hobbes, gesturing wildly. "Or a monk, or a friar, or whatever its called, it's all the same to me. To become a Brother, you have to go to a monastery –"

"Not that kind of brother, you imbecile!" I bellow, almost red in the face – with both exhaustion and embarrassment. "I mean, I'm gonna be an older brother – Mom's having a baby!"

Hobbes stares at me, flabbergasted. His green eyes are wide with surprise, and his mouth is pursed in the shape of an "o".

"Ohhhh …" he says again, realising what I was getting at. "Ohhhhhhh …"

"Yeah," I say, crossing my arms and frowning. "Geez, if they gave out an award for Best "Aha!" Moment, you'd be the winner."

Hobbes doesn't repond. Instead, he continues to stare at me, a mixture of confusion and – was that amusement? – sketched onto his face.

I roll my eyes. Hobbes was always the one for drama. "Well, you got anything to say?"

Hobbes shrugs his shoulders, though there is a hint of an amused smile on his face. "I guess 'congratulations' isn't what you want to hear from me …"

I just glare at him.

It is Hobbes's turn to roll his eyes. Sighing, he brings himself forward in the chair, facing me. "Alright," he says, "tell me how you found out."

With his undivided attention, I relay the whole story to Hobbes: how mild-mannered ol' me was quietly reading in the family-room when suddenly, Mom and Dad practically threw me on the couch and told me the terrible news.

"Terrible?" Hobbes repeats, narrowing his eyes. "It can't be that bad. Of course, you'd think your parents would have learned their lesson after having you … but I'm sure having a new brother or sister would be cool."

"Hobbes, don't joke with me," I mutter, glaring at him. "Having a new sibling would be the absolute pits!"

I begin to walk up and down the room. "It will ruin my life," I continue, "I'll tell you that now. Crying, screaming little troublemakers –"

"Are we talking about you, or babies in general?"

I ignore Hobbes's remark, and continue: "They take up space, they cry for everything, yet somehow people think they're the cutest things since … since … well, me, for example!"

I sit on the edge of my bed, frowning. "They take away attention, and they get what they want."

I sigh. "It'll be worse if the baby is a boy. He'll be bound to replace me."

"One Calvin is enough, thank you," Hobbes says under his breath, audibly this time.

"But," I go on, "it'll be even worse if the baby is a … ugh … girl. All girly and obsessed about clothes and make-up and … girly things …"

"Number one, that's a generalisation," says Hobbes, sitting next to me, "and number two, baby girls are too young to think about stuff like that."

"I meant when they're older, genius," I growl, slapping my forehead. "And you call yourself a woman expert …"

"At least I have more knowledge than you regarding the subject of women, thank you," my best friend replies, sticking his nose in the air in a snooty manner. "But seriously though, I don't know why you're stressing about the whole thing. So you're gonna be a brother, so what? It's not going to kill you or anything."

"Then let me put it this way, Hobbes, ol' pal," I start, leaning towards him with evident menace. "Supposing that I decided that I should have a new friend. Another tiger friend, to be exact. He'd live here, watch TV with us, read comics with us. He and I would be the best of buddies …"

Hobbes stiffens. I smile without remorse.

"So tell me, Hobbes, what would you do?" I ask, leaning in somewhat.

Another silence. Intently, I watch my friend, waiting for his answer.

Then, he sighs. In defeat, I notice. He looks up at me.

"Okay, what are you going to do about the new baby?"

Grinning in triumph, I thump Hobbes on the back. "The baby arrives in nine months, and that gives us a lot of time to think."

"About what?"

"What do you think? Plans to get rid of it!"

Oh my word, I actually updated one of my C&H fics! XD Amazing!

Hopefully, that means I'll be able to update the other ones, "A New Beginning" and "Love, Me" quite soon.

In the meantime, I'm available as a beta-reader, so let me know if you need one.

Reviews are welcome! Also tell me if you see any mistakes.

Seeya! ;)