Summary: Handsome suitor Sam seeks the hand of arrogant Prince Dean, but he must first find a magical tree in the realm of a certain wicked little demon. AU Sam/Dean unrelated slash. Homage to 'The Singing Ringing Tree'.
A/N: Special effect: For the proper atmosphere where I have typed (MP3) play the following music clip: www (period) thechestnut (period) com (slash) srtree (slash) thesingingringingtree (period) mp3
The Flipping Tripping Tree (Part 3 of 3: Trope Subverted) by frostygossamer
Next day, feeling a little sorry for poor hexed Dean, Sam decided to build them a shelter. He picked up a rock and began to knock out a cave big enough to make a makeshift home. After a while, Dean came over and asked him what he was doing.
"What does it look like? I'm making myself someplace to sleep," Sam replied.
He turned around. Dean was standing there looking a little down, and kind of hiding his fugly-looking face from him. Sam relented.
"If you wanna help. We can make it big enough for the both of us. OK?" he suggested.
Dean perked up a little. He didn't want to spend another night in the open air. It made him feel kind of vulnerable, not something he was used to.
"OK, sure," he agreed, losing his jacket and rolling up his sleeves.
They got down to the digging, and a few hours later they had themselves a little home from home. It was probably the first honest labour Prince Dean had done in his life.
"Now all I need is for the goddamn animals to quit running off whenever I come around," Dean sighed.
"Yeah? Well that's something you gotta do for yourself," Sam commented. "You gotta show them a little kindness. That's if you're even capable."
§
Dean was so pleased with his morning's work that, when they got hungry, he surprised Sam by actually volunteering to go find some fruit for them to eat. Seeing how low Dean had gotten without his wealth and his looks, tugged at Sam's heart.
"Poor guy's got no self-worth. Guess he's never felt valued just for himself," he thought.
Crowley followed Dean as he went looking for food. He had been watching all that had gone on with the cave, and he wasn't best pleased. He didn't like the way his two new toys were learning to get along together.
He snapped his fingers and summoned up a bitter gale. It blew so hard and so fast that it nearly knocked Dean off of his feet. More than that, it managed to injure a dove that was flying by, and it fell twisted right in front of Dean.
Dean hesitated for a moment before picking up the bird and taking it to Sam. Sam showed him how to bind its broken wing, and suddenly more doves flew down around them both, no longer scared of Dean.
"Guess this kinda makes up for those doves I freaked out over back home," Dean remarked.
Sam smiled and marvelled as, while he stared at him, Dean's pig-snout nose returned to it's original cute shape.
"Guess you're right," he agreed with a smile, and tweaked Dean's nose.
Dean was so delighted to feel his real nose back again, he didn't even bitch about it.
§
Crowley was feeling a little thwarted by this turn of events. He decided to use a little more evil hoodoo on his prisoners. He waited until Dean was washing up by the edge of the lake and, snapping his fingers, caused the entire lake to freeze over solid, trapping Dean's hands in the water.
Dean panicked a little, but when he looked up he noticed that the giant goldfish had gotten locked up in the ice. The creature was stuck fast. Dean immediately forgot his own problem.
"It's in trouble," he thought. "Gotta help it."
Breaking his hands free, he crawled across the ice toward the fish and tried to release it, but it was frozen right in. He looked around for something to smash the ice with. Then he thought of his shoes, his expensive handmade shoes. He grabbed them off and hammered the ice, until it broke and he could free the goldfish. It looked grateful, or at least he guessed it did. How do you tell with a goldfish?
"Now I'm feeling kinda bad for throwing out the carp in Dad's koi pond," he thought.
And just as he said it his pickle face returned to it's original pretty-boy looks. Things were looking up. When Sam the Sasquatch came back he was amazed at the change.
"Well, guess a good deed's gonna top a bad one, huh?" he remarked hopefully.
"I'll, uh, try to remember that," Dean replied.
§
In a better mood, Dean decided to go gather some moss, to make them both a comfy bed in their new cave home for the night. As he was doing this, the qilin cantered curiously over. It was hungry but still a little nervous of him.
Crowley was watching from above, and he decided to try one last nasty trick on his visitors. He waved his hand and called up a sudden blizzard, which quickly drifted thickly over the mossy ground.
Dean was soon freezing. He had left his shoes on the lake. And the poor qilin was quickly covered right over its head. Dean struggled free of the snow and tried to dig out the qilin with his bare hands, until they were numb with cold. He couldn't do it alone. So he went to fetch Sam, and the sasquatch came right away. Together they managed to dig out the poor grateful beast.
"Guess I've always been a dumb-ass around animals," Dean admitted. "I always said if it's not human it's no good... unless it works in a hamburger. That's why they've never liked me. Not gonna be that way any more."
Sam watched as Dean's crabgrass hair returned to its original healthy sheen.
"Looks like you've learned some at least," Sam chuckled.
Dean had to smile too. And he had to admit that the sasquatch was a real nice dude. Real nice. He had never met anyone he liked quite that much. Just a shame it wasn't human. If it had been a guy... Well, let's just say he had been waiting a long time for a guy like that.
§
Dean went back to their cave to get warm, but he was shocked to find the shelter that they had worked so hard to make, all in ruins. He didn't know it, but Crowley had been there and destroyed it in a fit of temper. As he stood there surveying the damage Crowley came over. Dean had never seen this strange little guy before.
"Who the hell are you?" he asked suspiciously.
"Crowley's the name. I'm the owner of this beautiful cavern. And I've come to warn you that the sasquatch has done this," he lied. "It's a monster and it's dangerous. You stick around and it's gonna eat you alive. Maybe eat both of us."
Dean was unconvinced. "Oh, come on. Gigantor's a sweetheart. It would never do anything like that."
"It's my sasquatch, and you don't know it like I do," Crowley retorted. "What's it ever done for you? You're just food to it. Come with me and I'll get you out of here safe."
Dean couldn't totally believe him about the gentle sasquatch but, truthfully, he wanted very much to get home. So he followed the strange little guy, but he hesitated a little on the bridge.
"Dunno," he said uncertainly. "Maybe..."
Crowley wasn't going to be put off. "Don't you want to get home to your awesome steam shower, your cosy queen-size bed and cheeseburgers... with extra bacon?"
Dean was very tempted by the images that put in his head, but he still dithered a little, looking back toward the Hidden Cavern. So Crowley tried another tack.
"Your father, King Bobby, is sick. He might die soon. He's been calling for you. You gotta go back home and see him. Before it's too late."
Now, even though Dean was a brat, he knew that his father was the only one who had always loved him just the same and, deep down, he loved him right back. If King Bobby was sick, Prince Dean had to be by his side. He had to trust Crowley whether it was a lie or not. He couldn't risk being wrong.
§
When Dean arrived back at the Singer homestead, the whole house was draped in mourning black dustsheets. His heart sank. When he tried to go inside he was accosted by John, the Security Chief.
"Hey, where the hell you going?" John demanded, officiously.
"Like duh," Dean responded. "Don't tell me you don't recognize me."
John looked him up and down, taking in the now dusty, ragged, torn clothing and the shoelessness.
"I should?" he retorted, snarkily.
Dean ignored him. "Is King Bobby OK?" he asked, now worried. "Is he... Is he dead?"
John shook his head. "Nah. The old bastard's not dead... yet. He's got the place in mourning for his son. The boy's been missing for a year now. Vanished without a trace. King Bobby's been scouring the country for him all this time. Sad case. Personally, coulda lived without the dumb-ass."
Crowley had lied to Dean. Lied about the sasquatch. Dean had known it. He had to get back and explain why he had run off on it like that. As he walked outside into the front yard, he heard a strange tune drifting from behind the mansion. (MP3)
Going around to the back yard to investigate, he found the Flipping Tripping Tree flipping and tripping away in the koi pond, where he had left it. He got all excited.
"You tripping cos I found true love, tree? Don't understand. I was supposed to fall for that Winchester guy, right? But he's long gone, and now there's just the sasquatch."
Light began to dawn on Dean. "Hey, is it really just a sasquatch?"
The tree stopped flipping.
"So what is it? Is it Sam, Sam Winchester? That it?" (MP3)
The tree began tripping again. Dean knew he had guessed right. Suddenly it seemed so obvious he didn't know why he hadn't worked it out right away. He wasn't usually so slow at figuring out that kind of thing. Well, maybe he was.
"That guy Crowley must have put a hex on Sam, turned him into a sasquatch. OK, so I go back to the Hidden Cavern and gank the bastard who did this to my Sam."
He grabbed the Flipping Tripping Tree and headed on back.
§
Outside the Hidden Cavern, the sasquatch stood on the little bridge heartbroken. The shelter was destroyed and Dean was gone. Now he was stuck there alone with goddamn Crowley and no Dean, doomed to be a sasquatch forever.
As he sullenly stomped back over the little bridge toward the cavern, he heard an almighty crack, and suddenly the bridge crumbled and crashed into the deep, dry moat below. Now Sam was cut off from the real world for good.
Sam's days as a famous hunter were over. He felt like some unwanted puppy, abandoned after Christmas. Unless there was someone out there crazy enough to try and save him?
Luckily there was.
§
Dean, approaching the Hidden Cavern on foot from town, found his route cut off by an enormous thorn hedge, tall enough to tower over his head and apparently stretching east and west as far as the eye could see. Undeterred, Dean tried to force his way through the thorns, but all he got for his efforts was blood all over his hands. It was impossible to get through.
Then out of the blue he heard the sound of galloping hooves and ducked as the qilin jumped the hedge and landed a few yards away from him. He grabbed its mane and patted its flank.
"You can jump it once, you can jump it twice," he reasoned, mounting its back.
With a jab of his heels he urged the qilin to jump back over the huge hedge. They sailed over like a paper dart and landed on the other side in one piece. Dean dismounted and patted the qilin's nose.
"Thanks, buddy," he said and continued on his way to the Hidden Cavern.
§
Crowley had been watching this audacious stunt, from his lookout on the high enclosing wall of his cavern.
"Curses," he muttered to himself. "Time for the big guns."
He summoned his evil powers to raise the water levels of the cavern, and flood the once dry, deep moat. Gallons of water flowed down from a spring at his feet. The moat was soon filled to overflowing.
When Dean reached the spot where the little bridge used to be, he found the bridge down, and he couldn't get across the now waterlogged moat. However, Crowley hadn't reckoned with the giant goldfish.
As soon as the goldfish swam in sight, Dean beckoned it over. Climbing on its back, Dean soon crossed the moat and was ready to climb in through the entrance to the Hidden Cavern. But Crowley wasn't beaten yet.
He stamped his foot and immediately the water level plummeted, dragging Dean and the fish down to the very bottom of the moat, as it drained. And it was a very deep moat with sheer sides, impossible to climb out of. It looked like Dean was going to be stranded down there, with no way to get out.
§
After a few moments considering his limited options at the bottom of the moat, Dean suddenly became aware of a bunch of doves hovering just over his head. They were carrying a thick garland of vines and flowers. They dangled the garland down like some sort of yard swing, clearly offering to fly Dean up and out of the moat.
Dean couldn't believe his luck. He also couldn't believe how totally cheesy this moment was. It didn't look like the garland swing would hold his weight, but there was a whole flock of birds and they easily carried him up toward the cavern entrance.
Finally he was back in the Hidden Cavern, and still clinging on to the damn Flipping Tripping Tree. Now where was his sasquatch?
§
Before Dean had a chance to search for Sam, Crowley was in his face again.
"Crowley! You're so full of goddamn crap!" Dean growled at him.
Now the last thing Crowley needed in his little kingdom was that cussed Flipping Tripping Tree. Hadn't he told the sasquatch that it was more powerful than him? If it flipped in his cavern, his hex on Sam would be shattered. So he grabbed it out of Dean's hand and vanished into the cavern. Dean searched for him high and low eventually cornering him in the clearing by the ruined shelter.
Crowley's last desperate trick was to plonk the Flipping Tripping Tree in the dirt and then surround it with a protective circle, not of salt but of fire, demonic fire. Bright orange flames sprang up as high as Dean's shoulder. The demon levitated above the fire smirking wickedly and laughing his evil socks off.
"Mwahahaha!" he laughed. "Now let's see you try and get your precious tree."
(MP3)
But the Flipping Tripping Tree flipped and tripped, calling out to Dean. He could hear it even through the sound of crackling flames and Crowley's evil cackling, as the demon floated above his head. There was no way through the flames without getting burned, but Dean was willing to burn for Sam. The tree proclaimed true love, and true love was worth burning for.
Dean took a deep breath and plunged into the fire. If it burned then it burned. It would be worth it to free Sam from his curse. And to his surprise he found himself in the centre of the ring of flame unhurt, not even slightly charred.
He grabbed the little tree and its music grew louder and louder as its power grew, until Crowley's levitation suddenly quit on him and he crashed to the ground like a broken toy plane. As he fell, the ground opened up beneath him, straight down to Hell, where he belonged. And down to Hell he fell, never to return.
A sudden thunderstorm blew up inside the cavern, and it blew away the evil and the flames and the drifting snow, replacing them with sunshine and bright blue skies.
Dean let out a sigh of relief.
§
The sasquatch appeared, finally coming to see what all the ruckus had been about. And he was delighted to see Dean back again.
"Dean, you came back," he almost sobbed, shambling toward him on his clumsy big feet.
"Came back to rescue your sorry ass," Dean replied, with a smirk. "Ya think I was gonna leave you here, chillin' in that bigfoot suit? Thought we had a deal, Sam Winchester."
"Finally figured that one out, huh?" the sasquatch retorted, as he morphed back into the handsome hunter he really was.
He took a step toward Dean, like he was going to grab him and go for a kiss, but Dean took a step backward.
"No chick-flick moments," he warned, holding up a hand.
"Yeah, well, sometimes you can't fight it," Sam replied, pulling him into his arms for a long smoochy one.
A very long smoochy one...
§
Back at the Hidden Cavern's entrance, they found the Impala returned to her former glory. So they climbed in.
"Dude, maybe we should bring the tree with us?" Sam wondered.
"Nah," Dean replied. "Leave it for some other schmuck to have fun with."
Nodding, Sam started the engine.
"Where we headed, Sammy?" Dean asked contentedly.
"New York," Sam replied, with a grin. "Got a wedding to arrange."
And they drove off into the future.
(MP3)
The End
A/N: So Dean saved the day! And we thought he was just going to be the silly victim. But, yes, it was a shamelessly soppy story. That's how I like it. Hope you liked it too. HAPPY CHRISTMAS/WINTERVAL/NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!