"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Koenma's calling," Yusuke groaned, looking at his little... radio-thingy I never quite understood how worked through different dimensions and worlds. "Guess we'll have to drop the ice-cream," he sighed.

"I know someone who's gonna be real depressed about that," I mumbled.

"What?"

"No, nothing." If there was one thing that I had realised in my countless, accidental and completely unwanted -unwanted on both sides- mind attacks was that the little hot-blooded fire demon really loved sweet snow.

"What's up, sucker breath?"

"Hello Yusuke," Koenma's eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.

"What you got for us this time?" Yusuke looked up at the giant screen, expecting to get a spectacular show followed with more than enough information on the new troublemakers.

"You don't need that."

Yusuke and Kuwabara almost fell over. We all stared at Koenma, who after his brief welcome to us, had now began stamping an inhuman huge hill of paper that never seemed to shrink.

"Right..." Yusuke sweatdropped. "We'll just get going then..." He lifted his eyebrows, hands in pockets as Koenma shooed one hand to the door where Botan entered.

"Hello Yusuke," she cheered joyfully. "This shouldn't take too long. All you have to do is split up and go through here." The bubblegum-haired grim reaper urged you over to a shimmering disturbance mid-air where a portal then appeared.

-If there was one thing I had gotten used to over these three weeks, then it was things popping out of thin air.

"These demons have been quite the nuisance to us lately. Take care of them for us, k'? Have a nice trip." She smiled widely.

"Wait, we don't get any information on them whatsoever?" Yusuke asked confused.

"They shouldn't take you too long to fight." So much for a chance of some preparation beforehand.

Something hit me in the back. It was so sudden and uncalled for that I without protest fell through the portal.

"Urgh, man," I groaned and propped myself up with one hand. "Care to make the travel any more painful?" I rubbed my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut as stars in different colours did the boogie on the backside of my eyelids.

"Move."

"What?" I squinted down.

Hiei stared back up at me, and for what had to be five still standing minutes we did nothing but stare at each other.

"...You're kidding me," I said with a sweatdrop. "If I didn't know this was reality I'd say I was some character in a fan fiction," I commented dryly at my position on his stomach, each leg on either side of him and left hand firmly leaned on his chest.

"I don't care what you think or don't know, just get off, baka onna. You're heavy."

I glared at him, but it soon changed into something quite else. "If I didn't know better, I'd get really angry at that offence. But, I forgive you. I know that behind all your tough acts you really are a weak, fragile guy, so don't worry." I patted his head, watching with pleasure as his eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid I didn't bring any band aids, so you'll have to be a big boy and hang on until we get home."

"I don't care even if you are a stupid human girl; you're asking to get killed," the fire demon growled. In reply I smiled, keeping up the act I knew all too well pissed him off.

"Aw, you're so sweet Hiei."

His eyes glinted dangerously. I was aware I probably was pushing my luck -a great deal-, but couldn't help it. I ignored him and looked around. I couldn't see the others anywhere.

"Guess we're a team then."

"You-"

Surely he had a whole store full of insults at the ready by now. But I never got to hear them: Instead of throwing evil comments at me, Hiei abruptly sat up. He simultaneously placed one arm around my waist and before I knew what was going on, he kicked off from the ground.

From a tree branch high up I could see five daggers dug deep down in the ground where we had been lying only seconds earlier.

"Gosh, and here I thought you were gonna hug me," I said, and surprised staring at the daggers I almost forgot to add an ironic touch to my voice. "But you actually saved my life." I looked at him even more surprised. He did not look back at me. Instead his hand was at the sword hilt, staring out through the leaf at what was a group of several lower demons approaching.

"Don't get used to it onna, I too would have been pierced by those daggers if I didn't, and whether I like it or not; you are a part of Koenma's team. So don't believe I did it for your sake."

"Why, thank you," I faked a pout. Though somewhere deep down that did sting a little. Then again, on the bright side he had at least gotten used to, and accepted the fact I was a part of the group. That was at least something.

But I didn't have time to dwell on it; we had more urgent business at hand to take care of.

The small gang of demons were closing in on us quickly, even I could tell that, though it took me longer to spot them than it took for him. But of course I didn't let him in on that. Soon however, seven demons scanned the ground beneath us, one of them collecting the daggers in the process.

One could have believed Hiei to have turned into stone, that's how still he sat. And I did my best too, not wanting to screw up his surprise attack.

Sure, through these three weeks of inhuman training I had gained enough skills to take out any ordinary human. And sure, it was no problem fighting the others. -But I knew they wouldn't kill me. And even though I had become fairly good in hand to hand combat on an average demon basis considering it had only have been three weeks of training, there was just something about the several inches long claws and those well aimed daggers that made me want to be a little bit more careful than when fighting Kuwabara.

Hiei must have found a perfect opening; he left the branch without a word or a glance in my direction. Down on the ground attacking the first demon he didn't look like he expected me to join in either.

Now that fired up my fighting spirit. With the joyful thought of proving him wrong I climbed two branches down before jumping after him.

And it wasn't all too difficult I figured -after the first demon I faced scared me. But when calming down and following the instructions Kurama had repeated so many times he could have given any official preacher a good run for his money, it wasn't so difficult at all. After a while I even managed to grin a little.

And it widened with pleasure as I dodged a pair of claws and beat said demon's lights out.

"Take that. You're not the only one who can do this Hiei," I said hunting after the next demon to send off to unconsciousness. Kicking the feet away under him, my prey fell to the ground, as served on a silver platter for me to kick him senseless.

"And who do you expect to clean up after you?" Hiei suddenly appeared behind me, back to back.

"What do you mean?" I hesitated a second with my leg lifted.

"Unconscious demons will wake up eventually and cause more trouble. Either you kill them or you stay out of the way," Hiei said simply.

I don't know how those time-bending things occur or how they work. All I know was that right before my very eyes it seemed like time itself slowed down. At the same time all the sounds surrounding me dimmed away. But it must all have happened in the matter of seconds, nothing but a trick of the mind.

I turned, feeling like his words had awakened me from a sweet dream. Before I could question the sentence ringing in my head Hiei swung his sword.

With one, precise, clean cut he sliced an attacking demon open.

And first now, as I stumbled away from the unconscious demon on the ground underneath my feet did I discover the other six demons he had slain. First now did I understand why Hiei had been so negative to me joining the group. And first now did I discover the difference between me and a skilled fighter such as Hiei and Kurama and the others:

A skilled fighter would never have taken his eyes of his prey- the seventh and last demon was close to grabbing me. But I dodged, more due to my unstable condition rather than my fighting abilities. The demon didn't give up. I threw a few punches at him, struggling to clear up my mind and ignore the urge to vomit. Blood had splattered on my clothes. I tripped in my own feet. The only thing that saved me from the demon's dagger was a rough yank in the opposite direction.

"Baka onna," Hiei growled. I laughed. It didn't sound like a laugh. It didn't sound like anything else than it was: a trembling, thin sound squeezed out of a numb throat.

"I'm sorry." I hoped I had more luck with my smile. "I only lost my balance, nothing to worry about."

That's when my knees gave in. I could hear Hiei curse under his breath, but I couldn't see him.

It was nothing like in a manga or anime. There the blood splatter looks amazing and intriguing; there you don't see the gut of several dead spread across the ground, or the wide eyes staring endlessly out into nothing, frozen in despair from their dying moment. In anime and manga you don't smell the blood, you don't hear the breathless, choking sounds of throats slit over.

There was no way a normal human girl with three weeks of practice could handle this. A second I wondered to myself how I could even have considered joining Yusuke's forces. I wished it was all a terrible nightmare.

All I could see was the ground, guts flowing out of blood covered corpses. Limbs spread across the ground, a bodiless head staring straight at me with open mouth. I could almost hear its inhuman scream fill my ears.

I wished I could have held my hands in front of my eyes, or at least closed them.

I saw Hiei's feet move across the corpses. He had unsheathed his sword again; the sound of it slicing through meat was unmistakeable.

The first group must have had backups. A backup stronger than the first wave.

There was a swishing sound. A broken blade dug into the ground only inches from the staring head.

"Fai!" Hiei growled loudly. "Fai, snapp out of it you stupid human!" He shook me violently. He snarled, spun around. My head tilted up. I saw him fight without a sword. After all, a broken sword was useless.

My eyes grew. When did the group of attackers become this big? When did their demon energy grow to be this strong? A demon came headed for me. Hiei sent him flying several feet through the air. He stared at me for a brief second. Then it looked like he made a decision.

Grabbing my shoulder firmly he said:

"Transform."

My mouth opened. In a split second of shock I realised:

I couldn't.

A blade pointed to my chest. But it would never pierce through; it had already been stopped by Hiei's body. He turned, killing the triumphing demon on the spot. I think I was shaking. I was not aware of that then, but if I later could have looked at a recording of myself, I would have found me trembling worse than a leaf in an autumn breeze. Blood covered me. Blood and tears ran down my face. But I didn't notice.

My wide open eyes could not register and transfer any impression to my mind, leaving a white world, unnoticed, around me. The white made the blood just stand out even more.

Because that- that red liquid staining my clothes and dripping from my hands, I could see very clearly.

I shifted. My heart flew faster than any scared rabbit could run. I could barely breathe. There was too much, so much I would drown, a was merely able to keep my head floating over the red, thick liquid. From far away I heard voices. But I didn't understand what they said. I went under. Red everywhere. Not only the disgusting, iron-like smell filling my nose, but now also filling my mouth and flowing down my throat.

I sat up with a gasp. I swallowed the sweet air down into my aching lungs of all might. I could breathe.

"Easy Fai, easy," a gentle voice soothed. Hands supported me, wanted for me to lie back down. But I refused. The last shades of red slowly disappeared from my vision. I saw walls and a roof and floor and people. People I knew.

We were in Koenma's office.

I could have taken it all for a dream. The blood, the sounds, the smells. I'd be happy if it was all just a dream. But Kurama's, Yusuke and Kuwabara's appearances did not invite to that belief. Instead they witnessed to their group of attackers being rougher than first assumed as well. They gathered around me. I didn't feel like asking what had happened while I was out. They didn't say anything of it either. And I knew that whether I wanted it or not I would sooner or later get it all explained and told anyhow.

Instead I battled the urge to both throw up and cry at the same time. But I saw no bucket nearby and didn't feel quite up to soiling Koenma's floor more than necessary so I forced it back with what I had left of strength.

"Man," Yusuke said, being the one to break the silence. Though his voice was not so sure and safe as normal. "Are you alright?"

"Hn."

They all spun toward the sound, like wild animals reacting to a gun shot. Hiei stood leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed. "How pathetic," he said.

"Hiei," Kurama uttered his name a little sharper than he used to. "That's unreasonable."

Hiei's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah man," Kuwabara spoke carefully. "It was her first time an-"

"She is a mere weak human being. A woman, with three weeks of training. What did you expect?" Hiei gazed insensibly at them all, but somehow I had a feeling his glare was not pointed at me. Like the sarcastic words weren't meant for me this time.

"That's wh-" Yusuke began, but Hiei broke him off.

"She is a weak human girl," he snarled, pushing off from the wall.

"There is no need to overdo it, Hiei," Kurama warned. But Hiei pierced him with a crimson glare.

"And you sent her out to that," he said.

No one had any reply to that. Hiei did not say anything more either as he walked out of the room, the gigantic door sliding to a quiet close behind him. The three remaining boys and the baby ruler seemed unable to look at me after that. And the check-up, healing, washing and change of clothes went by in silence.

I wondered if they felt guilty.

Walking down the hallway from the room where I had changed I had finally regained some of the power in my legs. Enough to not wobble at every other step. And I tried my best to shut out the pictures pressing on. I wondered how I had ever thought I could handle this life. Get used to it. How did I ever?

Someone sat leaned up to the wall in a narrow corner. The person was half covered in shadow, and had it not been for my slight halt in thought I would not have noticed the person. I walked closer.

"Hey, you okay?" I tried, my voice a mere whispering. I walked even closer.

"You- Hiei?"

"You've really improved," Yusuke slapped my back with a huge grin. "You're even having me impressed."

"I'm honoured," I said half-heartedly, trying to recover from his blow.

"But I'm surprised Hiei isn't back yet," Kuwabara blurt out. Yusuke sent him a glare but the orange goof ball didn't catch on. "He's always bragging about how strong he is, but even I didn't think that amount of demons could take him down like tha- OW! What did you do that for?"

"Because I felt like it," Yusuke replied with one finger wriggling uninterested in one ear.

"Urameshi you-!"

I laughed. "What's so funny?" Kuwabara forgot all about attacking Yusuke for revenge. I shook my head slowly.

"Nothing, nothing," I smiled. "But you're right; who would have thought he would end up that hurt?" I giggled. "We should drop by him tomorrow."

Yusuke pulled at it with a grimace. "Koenma said he had tried to leave before the treatment was done. I have a feeling he won't be too thrilled to see us."

"When did that ever stop you?" I retorted dryly. Yusuke's mouth turned upwards in a sly grin.

"Never," he said. "Okay it's decided; let's drop by our favourite Three-Eyes and give him some flowers."

Kurama sweatdropped. "He might just decide to not only severely wound you, but kill you if you decide to go through with the flower part of your plan, though," he pointed out.

Yusuke looked at him. "I'm not the one who's gonna come with flowers."

Kurama's sweatdrop grew bigger. "By some reason I have a bad feeling about this." Yusuke slapped his back cheerfully.

"Then we'll leave it to you and your flower power-" Yusuke saluted to Kurama "-see you guys tomorrow." And with that as farewell Kuwabara and Yusuke took off toward their homes in the dark.

"Flower power," Kurama repeated slowly. He sighed and I snickered at him. "There you have it," I grinned. And that was left as the last sentence said for several minutes. We walked in silence, listening to the many sounds of the night.

"You don't have to put on a mask."

Kurama had his hands in his pockets, and his green gaze was lost in the sky with its gazillions of stars. I didn't reply. The silence trapped us again. Heavily and unbearable.

"He was right," I said in the end. "I shouldn't have joined you. I didn't have a single clue of what I was getting myself tangled up in."

Kurama watched me. I knew even though I didn't look back at him. He said nothing. He waited.

"It's nothing like I first thought. The worst war movies through history can't even come close to what it really is like." I closed my eyes for a second. The pictures were still clear in my memory, as if five days had not really passed at all.

"You guys-"

Kurama tilted his head slightly. He didn't say or ask anything. Even so I had no doubts he knew the rest.
-are killers.