Chapter 03:

Down the Memory Lane

When I go the distance, I'll be where I belong.
Down an unknown road to embrace my fate,
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you.
And a thousand years will be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime but I'll see it through.
And I won't look back, I can go the distance.

--Michael Bolton (Go the Distance)

"Kaede Rukawa—"

The raven scanned the room to find out whose voice was calling his name.

"Kaede," a small, childlike voice repeated, but Rukawa could see nothing but concrete walls painted in white. It later occurred to him that he was standing in the middle of a long and narrow corridor with the walls rising as far as his eyes could see.

"Rukawa!" This time, a high-pitched feminine voice called.

"Who's there?" he asked in alarm, but the voices did not answer him back. He walked forward to see where the corridor would lead but he still could not perceive anything other than the infinite whiteness of the place. More voices chanted his name, this time coming from different directions, as if their owners were just hovering nearby.

"Where are you?" Rukawa inquired again, a tinge of fear evident from his voice. Suddenly, a beam of light blinded him and he could only bring his hands to his eyes to shield them from the light's menacing brightness.

"Look here, Rukawa," someone called again but Rukawa could not lower down his hands to see who it was.

"I c-can't. The light's too bright," he replied almost inaudibly. Then he heard the sound of a door being slammed shut and the bright light disappeared, only to be replaced by a loud, thunderous laughter.

He turned to look at his back then his throat went dry and his eyes grew wide open at what he saw. There were about six men coming towards him, each of them carrying wooden rods, ready to attack him. Instincts told him to rush towards the door for dear life but to his horror, the door was locked from the other side. He glanced again at his back and saw his aggressors, their faces showing no mercy. In sheer panic, Rukawa summoned all the strength he could possibly muster. He slammed his body against the door but it didn't even budge.

"Open this goddam door!" Rukawa was pounding hard, while screaming on top of his lungs, but it was too late; his attackers were already hitting him with all their might.

o O o

Rukawa opened his eyes in the dark and felt goose bumps protruding from his flesh. He woke up catching his breath, his shirt drenched with sweat, his whole physique still embracing the surrealness of the dream. He got up and wiped the cold perspiration that beaded his forehead. That was just it. He survived another ghastly nightmare. He turned the lampshade on to check on the digital alarm clock sitting peacefully at his bedside table. 4:30 am.

"Good. Just good." He thought irritably, after sitting himself on the floor, his back against the side of his bed. He wondered how he could go on like this forever, living a life of a nobody, his identity a question to the world. Even sleep denied him of tranquility he could comfortably indulge. Rukawa shook his head. He had long since given up hope that his memory would come back even before his therapies had ended. He could have confronted the days without much difficulty head on, if not for the nightmares that had been frequently haunting him. Maybe coming back to Japan had been a wrong decision. Nothing much was happening, except for the birth of another burden that was Sendoh.

He remembered his meeting with him yesterday, the surprise, the excitement, and his warm smiles, all shredded to pieces by what Rukawa, himself had revealed. Rukawa knew for sure the pain that he had inflicted upon the other guy but could not do anything about it. He just could not "feel" for him even after they saw each other face to face. Sendoh was just another stranger, a part of the past he barely knew, and everything they had must be left untouched. He's got to understand that. But perhaps Sendoh already did and would not wish to see Rukawa's face again. All for the better. At least, it took away some portion of the guilt he had to deal with for the rest of his damned life.

o O o

Sendoh never imagined himself treading this unfamiliar path with a weary feeling. Except for some new houses and a few trees here and there, everything was still the same compared to what it looked like some years back. As he came nearer and nearer to his destination, each step was becoming a tiresome effort, but he knew he cannot just chicken out and ran away again. He let out a heavy sigh, hoping that everything would work out fine as soon as he got into Rukawa's house.

After cogitating every action and possibility, Sendoh decided to skip practice today despite the consequences. Now that their relationship was hanging languidly in the balance, Sendoh realized that he need not ask questions anymore, he'll just have to make the most of his time. Basketball could wait; he'll just deal with his coach later.

The house seemed empty by the time he got there and he found himself sighing again for the millionth time in the past 5 minutes, if that was at all possible. He made his way gingerly on the front steps ready to knock on the door. Surprisingly, Rukawa opened the door before it could ever graze Sendoh's skin. Astonishment is manifested on both their faces, and neither of the two had been able to say something. Sendoh, after swallowing hard, decided to initiate the talk. He caught himself before saying "Kaede" again, for he knew this would make Rukawa uncomfortable.

"Hey, Rukawa,"

Rukawa's expression easily shifted from astonished to blank, and Sendoh found it hard to read his thoughts.

"I came here…" he continued nervously, "to apologize about what I did last night. I guess, I got carried away."

"You don't have to," Rukawa returned, a bit taken aback by Sendoh's words.

"Thanks." Sendoh told him and then added, "And Rukawa, I, uh, want you to know, I'll be right here. In case you needed my help."

Rukawa just stood there silently, while letting the words go deeper within. He couldn't believe Sendoh was doing this, when he wasn't exactly to blame, and he came here to offer help without any trace of disappointment, whatsoever from his countenance.

"Well, I wouldn't take much of your time." Sendoh broke, when he thought his waiting for Rukawa to say something was long enough. "I thought you might want to stroll around while I tell you things…but since you're going somewhere else, we'll just do it at some other time."

"We can do it right now, you came in just perfectly." Rukawa declared, somehow appreciative of Sendoh's companionship. Though a little unsure of himself when the words came out, he felt Sendoh had good intentions.

As for Sendoh, all his doubts and fears of what may arise from this confrontation melted into nothingness. He found himself smiling as Rukawa came to his side and had willingly acknowledged his presence and good intentions.

o O o

"…Miyagi and I are attending the same University, he's my co-captain actually, and he told me your Captain Akagi's now a junior partner in a law firm somewhere in Osaka. That sharp-shooter Mitsui's now happily married and he's already playing for the National team…"

Sendoh narrated all these things with much delight to the clueless Rukawa while they were touring Shohoku High School.

"Coach Ansai, I believe, has stopped coaching just a year ago but we occasionally see him on training camps giving speeches, etcetera."

While Sendoh was telling him stories about his high school, Rukawa was mentally taking down notes on whose names he must remember and also imagining what they all looked like in case he run onto some of them while buying groceries. Sendoh had clearly depicted everything and everyone who used to play on that gym and while Rukawa himself could not recall any of these stories, he just enjoyed listening to Sendoh's account of his past.

"Okay, so who else?" Sendoh mused, and slapping his forehead the instant he remembered, he exclaimed, "Sakuragi! How could I ever forget?"

"Sakuragi who?" Rukawa blinked in confusion.

"Hanamichi Sakuragi, the red-head!" Sendoh reported happily.

"Well, what about him?" Rukawa inquired, wondering why this particular redhead was making Sendoh excited.

"Sakuragi was your nemesis back then, Rukawa. You used to tell me he was the jerk that pestered you. I figured he kinda envied your heartthrob status because most of the effeminate race can't help swooning over your talents and good looks and that includes the girl he liked."

"What a shallow jerk," Rukawa commented spitefully.

Sendoh laughed. "He was always trying to outsmart you, Rukawa, calling himself a mighty genius though his talents were nothing compared to yours…he was a basketball newbie then,"

"How conceited!"

"Conceited, yes, and too clumsy, but I personally liked him, He used to be an effective power forward when he started and has constantly improved his skills. You should see him play. He was one of the game's superstars."

"I don't give a damn," Rukawa muttered, obviously not amused. Sendoh could only let out a chuckle to this. Rukawa still perceived Sakuragi as a nuisance and was capable of retaining the sense of hostility towards the redhead.

They passed by the basketball gym and saw the new breed of players doing warm-ups under the Shohoku coach's supervision. Some of the high school students recognized the celebrated basketball star Sendoh and they came to him for a hand shake or even for an autograph. The spiked lad only reacted politely, yet felt a little queasy because he knew Rukawa should be the one receiving this attention, not him. He figured, they haven't recognized this equally deserving basketball star with him since these students looked like they were fresh from junior high and Rukawa had been gone for so long. When Sendoh finally had the chance, he seized the opportunity to pull Rukawa out of Shohoku High School's vicinity.

The twosome walked past Daiiki Street and saw the unsheltered basketball court beside the playground which was about 5 blocks away from Ryonan High.

"This is where we used to play one on one during early Sunday mornings," Sendoh began, when he and Rukawa had stopped walking for a while. "Sometimes, we'd play until both of us had sweat buckets, sometimes, we'd just hang out and talk for a short while then you'd accompany me by the sea and watch me while I'm fishing."

Rukawa gradually closed his eyes and listened intently while forcing his mind to go back and search for his past, the feelings and everything in between that must be buried somewhere within him.

"…At other times, we'd just hang around and talk…" Sendoh went on, unaware of Rukawa's occupation.

But Rukawa, no matter how hard he try, still could not recall any of these.

Sendoh felt the rush of endearing moments coming back to him one by one, very clear and vivid in his thoughts. He felt the hands of time taking him back to the past and he realized there were so much to tell Rukawa, so much to share, and he could only take one at a time.

"Kaede, I have—" Sendoh stopped short, and all the blissful smile died on his lips when he turned to face Rukawa. He could have added "missed you so much" and "come back to me" but it only took him one look to know that this isn't the right place and time to let all his emotions surface.

"What?" Rukawa questioned softly, sensing the impeding tension that threatened to steal the serenity away.

Sendoh averted his gaze in slight panic. "Never mind. Let's just get going." He turned and advanced a few steps ahead of Rukawa. They walked together in silence, each of them lost in his own thoughts, Sendoh, thinking about what could happen if he didn't stop himself in time and Rukawa, caught up with his own pity party as to why he could remember nothing. It later occurred to the former that chance or fate, or whatever it was that allow certain things to happen for a reason, was teasing him.

"The park…" Sendoh stopped in his tracks, learning that his own feet had brought him to that place without much awareness. He looked ahead and saw dozens of cherry blossom trees, with the leaves swaying in concert with the wind, and Sendoh remembered his high school days and felt he was the young Ryonan ace again. A few more distance to clear and it would be impossible for them to miss their favorite spot, a sturdy cherry blossom tree located at the north eastern part of the park. Aside from having a better view of the sunset, they liked it because sitting there provided solace and refuge—silent and comfortable, yet far from the hustle and bustle of the public.

"How long?" Sendoh dared to ask, knowing very well that the answer would hurt him in every way.

"Two years, Akira, we'll just have to wait for two years," came in Rukawa's unyielding reply, with absolute sureness.

They were sitting side by side under the cherry blossom tree, the clear, night sky stretching above their heads and the moon, radiating beautifully in full silver. But everything was betrayed by what Rukawa had just disclosed and Sendoh could not muster any strength to speak an immediate reply.

"Anything can happen in two years," the Ryonan ace reflected miserably and he thought it fit to cry but he commanded himself not to. Rukawa flinched at the sight and it pained him to see Sendoh in that state.

"Look at me, Akira," Rukawa pleaded while clasping Sendoh's shoulders. Sendoh hesitantly obeyed and while staring into blue orbs very much like his, he heard Rukawa give his word.

"After two years, I'll come back…for you… and if you come here after those years, you'll find me, I promise."

The darkness of the evening did not hinder Sendoh from looking deep into Rukawa's ocean blue eyes and had known that moment that his beloved will never fail. Without speaking, they held each other tight, none of them willing to let go. Both knew that the moment would be over too soon; and there would only be devotion to hold on to in every effort to stay strong.

This happened three years ago and if Sendoh had only known what would take place after that fateful night in the park, he could have done something to prevent all these from happening. Now, only the sturdy cherry blossom tree, the breeze and full moon had withstood the seasons and remained faithful witnesses to that vow.

"Sendoh," Rukawa called, while walking closer towards his companion. The sudden distance that materialized between them had said it all: Something had bothered Sendoh's thoughts and it was beyond Rukawa's powers to alleviate that distraction. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "I'm too disappointing."

Sendoh could only look at Rukawa with a wishful thought that everything they've cherished will return to him soon.

In spite of the difficulty, he managed to put on a sad smile. "Forget it, Everything's fine." He was more than grateful for Rukawa's effort—"Let's just go back."

He wanted so badly to believe everything he said. Sendoh could have seized the chance to bring Rukawa into that cherry blossom tree, embrace him there and feel his warmth around him all over again but without the other half of the vow, it would all seem meaningless if he chose to do that right now. He pondered this deeply and in the end, he decided not to take the risk. He'd rather wait forever than wager with sorrow and frustration.

In Sendoh's hope of hopes, he knew that all of Rukawa will come back in his own, sweet time.

"I will find him there at the right time," Sendoh told himself while treading down the thoroughfare opposite the park. "Then I will know that my Kaede, heart and soul, has truly come back."

Author's Note and Shout-out:

Sorry, for the oh-so-late-update. Hardwork's pourin' non-stop this past few weeks…

I'll update sooner after the exams…bear with me, please. Salamat ng maraming, maraming marami!

The author would like to thank the following people. She should've done this long ago. Sorry, if it came sooo late…but she wishes to make it up to you soo, uh, here goes:

Rheilin- ha! Di mo rin akalain? Maka-yaoi na ako! (di pa masyado pero senru fan na ito!) Thanks for dropping by and for taking the time. Mabuti't nahagilap mo si Lady in Blue. Kala ko dina kayo magtatagpo…Salamat daw sa suporta.

Jam- Thank you, thank you, thank you! Really, that was so appreciated. I hope you'd still come back for the last 2 parts of this story…

Lady Tetsu69- Yeah, I'm a meany (nods head in agreement)…haven't realized that till I've reached the fourth chapter…I know I'm such a bad cheetah (squirms at the mountain dew commercial)…Kaede had read Akira's letters, but um, I guess, he just didn't feel anything! Letters will be elaborated on the next chapter, so uh, hang on! Thank you!

Shiroi-yume- Chapters will remain angsty up to the last part. Here's chapter three as promised. Thank you so much!

White Meteor- Me and my stupid head! Heck, I didn't know chaps 1 and 2 were the same until you reviewed! Arigato and sorry for the inconvenience!

Coffeemaverick- Thank you so much! I really intend to frustrate Aki here. I was hoping I'd be able to accomplish the task.

Ruji- Thank you, ruji! Hope you'd maintain the feeling despite the author's lack of wit and sensibility. Thanks again!

Blufox- wah! Kaede's got to suffer so both parties (sen and ru) will be blameless for whatever's gonna take place on the latter parts. Thank you, blufox, for dropping by!

Aki Midori- Much, much thanks for the compliments! And No, I'm not a member of AkiraKaede ML but if given the chance, I'd accept it right away! BTW, Meltwater was such a nice fansite! Sooo SenRu! More power to you and to the other Mistresses!

I'm so thankful, people! I'd say this again: Thank you for taking your time and for your patience…but I'll be ending this soon so I hope you'd bear with me. Three down and two more to go…Hang on…And uh, I'll review your fics too, as promised. I just need to get over with school work and stuff…I was having a hard time reviewing stories with many chapters because I'm just stealing my time during classes (when the prof's not hovering over my shoulder) but I'm getting there!

Here's a THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

--Lady in Blue