Chapter 5
Love Will Lead You Back

Yet the thunder shall not hurt you,
Nor the battle storms dismay;
Tho' the sun in heaven desert you,
Love will find out the way.

--Alfred Noyes

"You missed three consecutive jumpers out there, Sendoh! What the hell was wrong with you?" The Coach's voice reverberated loudly in his ears.

It was half-time break and the rest of the team was situated on the bench, some were on the floor, while their coach went on reciting his mid-game harangue. The first half ended with the rival team dominating. It was quite hard to admit that it didn't look good. And by way the coach was lashing out at anyone's mistakes, it didn't seem that he would settle only for a second best knowing that they had gone this far.

"Sendoh, are you listening?"

The Coach wasn't going to let Sendoh get away with his outrageous display of antics earlier. He only contributed the least bit of points for the team when so much was expected of him.

"Yes, coach. I'm sorry." That was all that he could say. The coach paused for a while, somehow realizing that this was hard for his captain as well.

"Look, team. We can't afford to make mistakes—not at this point." The coach softened a bit, scanning the faces of his players to indicate all of them. "I want all of you to work doubly hard out there! We didn't go this far for nothing! Alright, I'll give you three minutes to compose yourselves. Then we'll talk about another game plan."

While the rest of the team had retreated to the lockers, vice-captain Miyagi noticed that Sendoh had remained perched on the bench undisturbed and trapped in a fervid daze. Concerned, he slid into a spot next to Sendoh with a bottle of water to offer.

"Here, buddy," Miyagi urged.

"Thanks." Sendoh acknowledged his presence and began gulping down the liquid.

"You're not playing your best today and Coach had seen that. I also did. Is there anything wrong?"

"I'm fine. There are just a lot of things in my mind lately." Sendoh responded while trying to put on a mask of composed resilience.

Though indirectly stated, Ryota didn't miss the hint. Sendoh was not about to spill his thoughts on whatever that diverted his attention from the game.

"I know the weight's on your shoulder and really, we won't be going this far if not because of you." Miyagi cajoled.

Sendoh felt the sincerity of his co-captain's words. It was quite comforting to know that his teammates were still counting on him despite this frail performance that he just had. He shot a glance at the scoreboard. They were upped by 9 points, 63-54. The rival team was playing the game quite well but anything can happen in two more quarters.

Focus on the game alone, Akira! People were counting on you and you can't let them down! Sendoh coaxed himself. It had to be a wake-up call for him to do something before it's too late.

"Miyagi, don't worry about me. I'll never let us lose." Sendoh averred. I'll never leave it down.

o O o

It was only in his dreams that such a place existed. The forlorn sun was setting dramatically in the west while the sky above his head turned into more severe hues of oranges and purples. It was a sight to behold but even more enticing were the endless lines of cherry blossom trees that seemed to welcome him as he passed them by. He let the wind play upon his hair while the distant songs of the ocean lured him deeper into that cherry blossom haven.

"Kaede,"

Had he just heard Sendoh's voice?

Rukawa turned to his heels and as surely as he heard it, Sendoh was there. He had looked more remorseful and more subdued than the last time Rukawa saw him. Unexpectedly, Sendoh drew closer, his eyes never leaving Rukawa's. Then he whispered ever so silently, "How could you ever forget me, Kaede? What about your promise?"

Then again, it was just another dream.

Rukawa awakened from his deep slumber. He felt a bit lightheaded. Looking around, he realized that he must paled off to sleep while packing his bags for his flight to America tonight. He got himself seated on top of the bed and began thinking things through. Sendoh had never appeared in his dreams before and it somehow stirred something unexplainable within him.

"…I'm making things easier for both of us, Sendoh. What else do you want from me?" Rukawa said out loud to himself.

"What about your promise?"

Sendoh's question from his dream was clearly etched in his mind. It felt as though the former were just hovering nearby. Rukawa remembered Sendoh's letter he just received. He took it from his pocket and read it again.

"You made a promise and I know you'll be true to your words…" Rukawa concentrated on that part more. He looked away, trying to figure out what could be done on this situation.

Did I promise to come back for you, Sendoh? But I came back to set you free. You're waiting in vain for that old Kaede to return.

Rukawa shook his head and heaved out a sigh of desperation. I can't leave like this.

Curiosity got the better of him, anyway. There must be something that he might have missed inside this house, something too valuable or even too memorable that will point the way to his long-forgotten past.

Rukawa got up from where he was and started searching through the closets. There were mattresses, towels, worn out shirts and some old issues of sports magazines but nothing had seemed out of ordinary. He kept glancing around the room until his sight fell on his bed. Yes, he had checked every square inch of that area since the day he stepped into the house except that space beneath the bed.

With his knees on the floor, he quickly bent down to see what he could find in there. His intuition hadn't failed him. He reached underneath the bed and had pulled out a dusty old duffel bag. "SHOHOKU BASKETBALL TEAM" was embroidered in dark, prominent letters but its red and white chromes had faded along with the years.

"Please, God." Rukawa prayed with all his heart. "If ever I needed to find something, please show it to me now…"

Rukawa unzipped the bag and peered through the contents nervously. First, he held out a red Shohoku jersey with black trimmings on the side. Next, he took hold of a small velvet box. Inside was a gold medal labeled, 'Rookie of the Year'.

Rukawa's interest in the bag grew as he continued tinkering with its contents. There were lots of valuable and personal stuff inside but there had been quite a number of completely useless things, too. It seemed that things were shoved inside the bag in some random order. Then it dawned upon him.

My high school time capsule.

He retrieved an empty soda bottle. Why have I been keeping an empty soda bottle?

A vision crossed his mind. Somebody had tossed him this soda bottle.

O o O

"Rukawa!"

He was on his way to the lockers where his other teammates were. He didn't need to move any muscle to see who it was, that voice was just too familiar. He ceased walking and turned to face the other guy.

As soon as he spun around, Sendoh had tossed him an ice-cold lemon flavored soda.

"Great game, I wish we could have more of that." Sendoh beamed.

The nail-biting match between Shohoku and Ryonan to determine which team will battle it out with Kainan in the district championships just reached a dramatic conclusion. It was a fight to the finish and Shohoku won by mere points against one of Kanagawa's favorites and strongest team.

"Congratulations. You really deserve to be with Kainan in the championships." Sendoh continued while looking directly into Rukawa's eyes. The famed Ryonan ace continued to sport that unaffected facade of his, and Rukawa wondered if the anguish of losing hadn't got into him just yet.

"Thanks, but I still have to beat you."

Sendoh laughed an easy laughter, much to Rukawa's astonishment. The Ryonan ace was not taking him seriously, alright.

"What's so funny?" the Shohoku freshman spat.

"Oh, you never stop amusing me, Rukawa Kaede." Sendoh grinned. "One-on-one?"

That was the soda bottle's history and the countless one-on-one matches that followed. Who would've thought that these two aces will end up as one, adorable couple 5 months later?

O o O

Unfortunately, Rukawa remembered nothing of these. He could only vaguely remember that somebody had given him that bottle. He kept rummaging through his old duffel bag, anyhow.

He pulled out another basketball uniform and found himself staring at the print for quite a while. 'Ryonan 7' it read. Surely, this jersey wasn't his.

Sendoh's jersey. He failed to return the uniform, perhaps?

He abruptly put down the blue and white jersey and dug his hands inside the bag once again. There were unlabeled CD's, tattered notebooks…

Then another hard object. He nearly gasped. A framed photograph of him and Sendoh.

His gaze remained glued to the photograph while his hand moved unconsciously to touch the glass surface of the frame.

We must be very happy when this picture was taken. Rukawa concluded, judging from what he saw on the picture. Sendoh was smiling lovingly in front of the camera, with his right arm draped around Rukawa's neck. Noticeable also was the way the latter had flashed one of his rarest smiles for the sake of the photograph, too, with his head slightly pressed against Sendoh's.

Rukawa couldn't help but sigh. How he wished he could remember! He adjusted the stilt behind the frame before placing it on top of his bedside table.

Crash!

It fell to the floor face down even before his fingers could barely release the object. Rukawa saw that something was scribbled on the back of the frame. He took it back to his hands again without really caring about the tiny pieces of broken glass that might tear on his flesh.

My Dear Kaede,

You may not notice
My constant stares
May I hold you,
Cherish you
Forever.

While you many not feel the same,
I shall feel this way
Forever.
Someday, I will finally tell you
Let it all come rushing out
My love for you
Forever.

Love, A—

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted. A memory. After waiting for so long, he finally remembered something!

"Keep this, please?" Sendoh, in his usual cheerful psyche, had shoved a box in Rukawa's hand.

"What on earth is this?" Rukawa blurted, taken completely abashed by the shiny blue box that Sendoh had given him.

"A present for you, of course." Sendoh replied smugly. "Now, don't ask anything, I just want you to keep it."

Their anniversary was more than three months away and both their birthdays will follow soon after. Rukawa threw a suspicious glare at Sendoh before proceeding to open his gift. He tore the shiny blue wrapper anyway and was surprised at the sight of a framed photograph of himself and Sendoh, taken at a flower festival in Tokyo.

"Akira…You know I don't keep picture frames around the house." Rukawa told the other guy.

"I know and I'm not expecting you to display it. I just want you to have it. Can't you do that for me?"

But the picture frame slipped from his grasp and fell once again to the floor as a sharp, searing pain surged through the back of his head. The helpless raven let out an anguished cry. His temples were now throbbing in pain and it was even more painful than the first. He felt like choking. His eyes were not focusing anymore and now, he is in desperate need for air. Though it seemed impossible, Rukawa struggled to bring himself on top of the bed.

God, please… he pleaded frantically. The headache was getting unbearable, as if somebody was trying to split his skull into two. He winced as the familiar sensation of nausea kicked in. He simply wanted to surrender to this pain. He thought it would be better if he'll just faint…

Then it happened. His head was spinning wildly. All he saw were alternating flashes of black and white flickering suddenly inside his head.

…There were voices calling out to him just like in his dreams and little by little he began to see familiar faces associated with those voices. They were his family, his friends…

…Then there was Akira, too, yelling his name…

…There were the Christmases they've spent, the one-on-one battles they've enjoyed, and all the tiny grains of memories that affirmed their passion.

The headache came to an end and was replaced by what seemed like a fleeting feeling of calmness.

Rukawa opened his eyes. He realized that the incessant nightmare was over. His whole body was still tensed from exhaustion but an easy feeling of relief overwhelmed him.

I'm coming back, Akira…

o O o

"Yo, Mr. MVP! Great season!" Miyagi congratulated his captain then extending an arm for a handshake.

"Thanks." Sendoh replied while limply shaking Miyagi's hand. "Congratulations, too."

"You're the MVP, we're champions, but you don't seem happy tonight. And may I add that you don't seem OK at all." Miyagi worried. Sendoh was the type of person who knew very well how to control his mind. When he's playing, he doesn't let himself get distracted by anything outside basketball. Well, tonight was an exception. Thankfully, he managed to keep his senses intact, at least until the big game was over. Now, he has shifted into that distressed mood again.

Sendoh stood up. He swung his duffel bag on his shoulder, ready to leave. "I'm just tired, Miyagi…"

"Hey, you can't leave! The victory party's about to—" the co-captain stopped himself in time. Sendoh was indeed in a bad shape. This was probably because their Coach mandated him to play in every quarter nonstop. "Alright. I'll take care of the explanation." Miyagi decided, while glancing at their other teammates who were too swamped with victory to worry about a single thing.

Sendoh stealthily advanced himself towards the exit, with Miyagi following after him.

"Thanks again, buddy. I'll owe you one." Sendoh gently patted the shorter lad's back while patching his face with a broken smile as soon as the two of them were at Zumiho University's gate. Miyagi just nodded his head.

Evening has fallen and he was on his way to God knows where. He'd been fighting all day to keep himself from crying. And right now, he isn't sure if he'll be able to hold back a little longer.

Sometime after Sendoh had cleared a few yards, he heard Miyagi yell: "Quit punishing yourself, Sendoh! You just won yourself a championship tonight!"

Sendoh felt his chest tighten. But I lost him again…

All day, Sendoh had been praying for a miracle. No such thing ever occurred. Every hope and every dream had just been blown away by the wind along with Kaede to America tonight.

o O o

He came in too late, the game was over.

The gym was deserted except for few janitors assigned to tidy up the place after the spectators have left.

Rukawa surveyed the gym and got so frustrated that a sudden desire to slap himself overtook him. He shouldn't have gone to Sendoh's house. He could've arrived earlier if he had only remembered about this championship game.

These people here would never be of any help. Sendoh's team doesn't even belong to this school.

"Hey, the gym's about to close…" a young girl in thick horn-rimmed glasses had approached Rukawa from the back. She had a denim baseball cap on her head and a pail in one of her hands. "If you wish for an autograph, you can go straight to that yellow door over there…" the girl said monotonously.

Rukawa's pulse quickened. Without bothering to say thanks, he left the girl and headed straight to the direction she pointed. Soon, he was standing before the door.

Visiting Team:

HINAKO UNIVERSITY

Rukawa knocked gently.

He had waited for a few seconds until a familiar figure opened the door from the side.

It was Miyagi Ryota, his former high school basketball teammate. It was definitely Miyagi, those curly locks were too impossible to miss. Somehow, it amazed Rukawa that he finally remembered.

"Kaede Rukawa?!" Miyagi exclaimed with a surprised look all over his face. "What a surprise! So you're finally back, huh?"

Finally. The word echoed in Rukawa's mind. "Miyagi, Is Sendoh in there?"

"Oh, doesn't he know you're coming? He left about half an hour ago." Miyagi frowned. "And you just missed his biggest game, man."

Rukawa didn't know how to respond.

"I think he's gone home. He said he was pretty tired." The shorter man continued, seeing Rukawa's frustrated look.

"Well, thanks. I really need to find him right away."

"You better hurry." Miyagi seconded the idea. "He's acting a bit weird lately, I'm sure he could use a little cheering up."

O O O

The park, which had been buzzing with people all day, has now become a perfect place for a few hours of unperturbed solitude.

Tonight, one man was especially grateful for the existence of such a place as this. There he was, nestled under one of the cherry blossom trees, with his arms around his knees just like a scared little boy. He was pouring his heart out by letting all his pains mingle with the tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes.

For a while he sat there, losing all the sense of time. His whole body ached and his thoughts reeled. But then, all these were nothing compared to the turmoil inside of him.

You abandoned me again… Just like that, without even saying good-bye… Sendoh talked to himself between muffled sobs. The few weeks that he had spent with Rukawa after the latter's return to Japan came to mind. The short span of time was nothing compared to all those blissful years that they have shared together. And yet, those three short weeks succeeded in breaking the once strong bond that held their hearts so tight.

With that, Sendoh decided to let his heart bleed for the uncertainty of what he's been fighting for.

But I can bear this pain, Kaede. If this is the only way to keep our love alive…

More tears clouded his vision. The fangs of reality almost penetrated his soul.

O O O

Rukawa was deeply worried. He just hope Sendoh would never attempt anything stupid before he finds him.

30 meters to his destination.

Rukawa quickened his steps. He wasn't sure where to look next, but something's telling him he's in the right direction. Otherwise, he'd rather spend the whole night roaming around Kanagawa, searching for Sendoh.

He tried to shake this feeling of anxiousness. He deserved this. In fact, he deserved more for causing this much pain to Akira.

20 meters to his destination.

I'm coming, Akira… please wait for me… he repeatedly said in his mind as soon as he beheld the endless lines of cherry blossom trees that seem to welcome him as he passed them by. The wind had brought in the scent of yesteryears. The moon, though not in its fullest radiance, was still the same moon that hovered beyond the clouds when they made their vows. Nothing has changed at all.

10 more meters.

In the darkness of the evening, Rukawa was sure he was seeing a vague outline of a man cowering under one of the cherry blossom trees.

Rukawa ran the rest of the distance.

Surely, it was Akira. This was their favored spot, after all. Rukawa found him frozen under the sturdy tree's shade, his face buried in his hands. Could he be crying?

Rukawa inched closer to Sendoh but the latter was still unaware of his company. Rukawa held his breath while kneeling closely to Sendoh's side.

"Akira,"

Startled, Sendoh instinctively lifted his head. If this was just an apparition due to hunger of fatigue, he wasn't quite sure. The next thing he knew, he was already staring intently into those pair of eyes he thought he'd never see again.

Rukawa's hands slowly moved to clasp Sendoh's shoulders. His heart squeezed inside his chest upon seeing Sendoh's bloodshot eyes filled with so much pain. He had been crying… because of me.

Sendoh was rendered speechless. He opened his mouth but no words ever came out. Instead, they rolled as teardrops down his cheeks. They held each other's gaze for one, sweet moment.

Finally, a burning desire to close in the moving ocean between the shores of their souls cannot be contained anymore.

Rukawa's one hand already found its way around Sendoh's waist, while his other hand succeeded in pulling Sendoh's lips towards his.

Rukawa had kissed Sendoh hard, that the unrestrained intensity of his emotions flowed freely within Sendoh. The latter had generously returned the favor while pulling on Rukawa's hair, completely lost in his own fervor.

Time stood still as they continued to share a kiss fueled by their flagrant longing and rekindled passion.

When the two had pulled away, they were both crying.

"Akira, I'm so sorry…" Rukawa said, cupping Sendoh's face in his hand. "I know I don't deserve this but I hope you can forgive me…"

Sendoh had closed his eyes and while letting Rukawa's words linger on his ears, he wrapped his arms around Rukawa, once again closing the distance between them in a warm embrace. Rukawa too, had hugged him tightly in his arms and Sendoh rejoiced as he savored the familiar feeling of tenderness that only Rukawa's arms could provide.

"I love you, Kaede. And now that you're back, I could never ask for more."

He smiled when he said this, sinking deep into the melody of Rukawa's heartbeat thumping rhythmically with his own.

"I love you too, Sendoh Akira." Rukawa whispered, while planting soft kisses on Sendoh's forehead. "You complete me and I love you more because of it."

A big smile spread across Sendoh's face, something that he hadn't done in ages.

"Know what, Kaede? I've been dying to hear those words from you,"

"Then I'll make sure you'll never miss a day without me showing you how much you mean to me." Rukawa told him.

"Sounds like a great idea."