Author's Notes: Time I tell ALL about the war since I haven't really explained it well enough yet in the story. The resulting explanation might shock you. You didn't expect this story to be all light, jolly and cheery, did you? Where there's light, there's dark too.

Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head

????'s POV

Awwwww, look at this – expensive wedding, fancy get-up, beautiful location and hopeful sunny weather now blocked by clouds...HA, HOW PATHETIC! If this were a meal, I'd have already vomitted this up years ago. It's times like this that make me proud of the decision I've made and also of the very one I'm GOING to make pretty soon. Did they really think I was gunna just let them get away with this shit?! They really are pathetic if they think I'd just let a thing like THIS allow them to be like the way they are now. My hatred of what they've become makes me wish that they actually DIDN'T do what I intended for HIM to do all those years back. Yeh, it would have been easier if I just shot the fucker right there and then – than all this bullshit wouldn't have occured. No wedding, no happiness, no NOTHING. All of it...DEAD – just like how I wish both of them now would be!

But I guess it did allow the whole plan to work to an extent that it was successful for OUR Government and the other powers of this World. I remember going back to my hometown to finish the job and ensure everything ran smoothly. Pity how the townsfolk never suspected a thing.

Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain, there was a town where the people known as Happy Folk lived. Their very existence a mystery to the rest of the world, obscured as it was by great clouds.

It was all tied in with the REAL purpose of the existence of this 'war'. There were two main targets we focused on – the soldiers and the civilians. It didn't make the slight bit of difference what their status, age, condition or even ethnicity was, it was just a matter of finishing the job as quickly as possible. Heh, though I doubt the people of South Park had seen or even knew of our operations.

Here they played out their peaceful lives, innocent of the litany of excess and violence that was growing in the world below. To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was enough.

The plan was simple – round up as many as you could to join the army, lie to them by saying who the supposed enemy was – in this case, we said the fighters of the Middle East, send them out with all guns blazing and then……kill them all. But what they didn't know was that they weren't killing ANY enemy – there WAS NO enemy……only innocent civilians and members of another country's public – whom had also been lied to by THEIR country. As soon as they managed to wipe out enough of the people who lived in other countries all around the World……it was then time to turn our attention…………to the people of our own country……America. And what better place to start……than the quiet isolation in the small mountain-town of South Park.

Then one day, Strange Folk arrived in the town. They came in camouflage - hidden behind dark glasses, but no one noticed them - they only saw shadows.

We told the several soldier units of the American army that are the enemy had taken over an area of the Colorado region and had constructed a small defense base there. Our mission, we explained, was to take it out and restore peace to the area……the area of course, was South Park. Though we promised we'd bring support and help them out……it was nothing but a lie to protect the real truth behind our plans.

You see, without the truth of the eyes, the Happy Folk were blind.

And then, as soon as the army units arrived – confused over the lack of battling and confrontation in what appeared to be a stable and controlled area of the Colorado state……we…'The Omega Unit' began our task that had been assigned to us by the higher-ups – KILL ALL SOLDIERS AND CIVILIANS.

Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes,
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home.
Jump out from behind them, and shoot them in the head.
Now everybody dancing - the dance of the dead.
The dance of the dead!
The DANCE of the dead!

I was one of the main ones in charge of the Omega Unit; Omega-One-Bravo my alias had been classified to. It was dangerous to be classed by our real names because of the secrecy and the deception we had to maintain in this mission. And the operation in South Park didn't last long. 799 soldiers……DEAD……every civilian and member of the South Park public……DEAD. Though, we knew of some who had managed to escape the Government's sentry and patrol guard of the town, we made sure that everyone whom were still in the town…didn't survive.

My one last satisfying memory was standing over an exploded chunk of ground which formed a satisfying bowl of dead bodies. After practically every soldier's body had been dumped into the giant holes we had formed with our weaponry, I noticed that one lone soldier…was still alive…somewhere within the midst of those bloody and torn-apart carcasses. And who better to be that injured young soldier than one of the TWO whom I'd sworn to remove from this whole existence from the very start. Grabbing old of the nearest machine gun rifle I could find, I let rip with a wave of bullets into the deep hole of bodies. Though the bullets practically struck every other body in the pit, I still wasn't sure on whether I had hit HIM. I believed I did……but I guess now, I realize I didn't. How my lazy-ass attitude still made me finish the job from a distance. Anything else and that bastard would have been dead with the lot of 'em.

With the extermination procedure finished, all that was left to do was salvage anything and everything from the town…and then destroy it. Why leave it un-scarred when you can take anything you need – better yet, it helped to reel in more soldier victims for the later 'procedures' in the Omega Unit's work.

In time, the Strange Folk found their way into the higher reaches of the mountain, and it was there that they found the caves of unimaginable sincerity and beauty. By chance, they stumbled upon the place where all good souls come to rest.

As I along with the rest of the Omega Unit made our way across the country – taking out anyone we'd been assigned to take out, we also maintained the success in salvaging and taking any valuable resources our country needed……even if it meant taking from the countries we once called our allies.

The Strange Folk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above all things, and soon they began to mine the mountain - its rich seam fuelling the chaos of their own world.

Not only did our Government want us to conquer the humanity side of the whole mission, but they also wanted the Media to fall victim to the deception. So what better way to do so……than an Emergency News Report……in the shape of……the pathetically dubbed……9/11 2. February 24th 2018 – the day the Media allowed us to totally turn the public in our favour. I guess the conspiracy theorists had a point as soon as that incident occured...but like always, no one listened to them. I guess that was the World's even bigger loss...and our greater gain. But how the World didn't realise the funny coincidence of that date and time is beyond me. According to news reports, it was the very day that a plane-load of troops were being flown out to the Middle East to 'help with the ongoing crisis of the war'. Well, that was true...we merely...tweaked a little with that meaning. It's a good thing we kept all the firearms and weapony in a seperate plane – the innocent soldiers had nothing to defend themselves with from an obvious death. After their plane was deliberately hijacked by hired Middle Eastern extremeists, the plane, just like we planned it, crashed into the very building...I wanted it to hit.

I'd done my research into the building and the people working in that building. What I discovered made me both angry...yet delighted at the same time – my smug laughter showed just how much I was gunna enjoy seeing that plane crash into the building – killing the people on the floor I tagetted...including, 'Friend' #2. Well, he may have escaped but it was still an accomplishment. 40 more dead and a shocked audience of millions watched on as their precious security and defense against the supposed evil Middle East...disintegrated to nothing.

Meanwhile, down in the town, the Happy Folk slept restlessly - their dreams invaded by shadowy figures digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the mountain. Why was it bringing darkness into their lives?!

Did they really think a bullshit report saying that the 'enemy' had caused us to let our guard down was real? PLEASE! We were the ones who caused it.

HA, people will see this and will probably believe that we were the enemy this whole time, when in fact no one us. Sure, if people knew the truth, they would have seen the Governments of the World as the enemy and that the rest of the World was innocent – merely pawns in a chess game of survival. NO, it wasn't like that.

And as the Strange Folk mined deeper and deeper into the mountain, holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the Monkey. For the first time, the Happy Folk felt fearful for, they knew that soon the Monkey would stir from its deep sleep.

What we did do was cover-up the main reason behind this whole saga of incidents and destruction. Do you want to know something?! The bottom line is…….is that……THERE WAS NO WAR! It had never existed in the first place – it was just an excuse and an alibi the Governments of our World used to cover up the reason for why we were trying to solve one of the biggest problems that was plaguing the World back then in the first place. Not Pollution, Not Global Warming, Not Immigration, Not even Famine……but something much worse………OVER-POPULATION.

Whoever dares to criticize our actions hasn't realized just how successful the whole mission and operation was. By 2019, the population of the World had fell by over 40. And the American population alone had dropped by 33. Nobody will ever realize just how much good we had done to the survival of the human race – the problem had been solved in the only way we had seen was fit…and the rest of the Governmental society had agreed with our decisions too. Sure, we may have dictated who had the right to live or die, but we had no other alternative. Besides, at least I had those delighted moments where I believed THOSE TWO had finally got what was coming to them.

Then there came a sound. Distant first, it grew into castrophany so immense it could be heard far away in space. There were no screams. There was no time. The mountain called Monkey had spoken. There was only fire. And then………nothing.

But now, I stand here – knowing that that belief was way off. Now, the ones known only as Stan Marsh & KYLE BROFLOVSKI……how much it annoys me to say that name, are still alive and are hoping to build some kind of faggy life together by getting married and hopefully living a happy life as two friends finally together. I've never been so angry at that goddam Jew-fag in my entire life. Nothing from my young child-hood could equal the state I'm in at what he's done to what I thought was the only real friend I could ever have……Stan. I should have seen it earlier in the obvious signs of those young days…but I didn't. Thank God I finally saw the truth at the age of 16 – the very reason why, I like that other poor-fag Kenny, had 'mysteriously' disappeared from South Park.

So it all comes down to this – 2 specially-made bullets locked tightly in the revolver I've got a tense grip on in my right hand. One for the fag……and one for the traitor. It ends here – RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! I, Eric Cartman, will finally get satisfaction at last.

Oh, little town in U.S.A,
The time has come to see.
Oh nothing you believe you are.
But where were you when it all came down on me.
Did you call me…now?

Kenny's POV

Right, looks like I'm at the back-end of the church, ha ha. It's probably not called that, but I see it that way…like I do with everything else. Looks like this church's got quite a view of the whole city – well, IT IS on a hill for God' sake. They really should put some kind of railing or safe-guard around the hill's edge – it'd be pretty nasty if someone tripped or even fell off a part of that edge. That'd be one hell of a nasty fall if that were to ever happen. Well, I've been 'round the whole perimeter of the church three times now – good thing no one noticed or even spotted me during my snooping. I didn't go INSIDE the church, but I merely just made my way around the outside to check my hunches that something didn't feel right. Well, I can't find anything…so I guess I must be wrong. Ah well, I hope Kyle's threw that gun of his away……unless he's having a shotgun wedding…HA HA HA…oh God, I should be on Saturday Night Live with my humor readings.

Well, I might as well have one last view of the city from atop this hill before I go in and make my secret surprise appearance. As I walk to about four feet from the hill's vertical edge, I take in what beauty's left on this cloudy day as I look down at the busy visions of Los Angeles.

"You really do have a habit of appearing unnoticed don't you!?" A voice says to me from behind.

Smiling, I reply back – beginning to turn around to where the voice is coming from. "Well, I was trying to turn it into a little surprise y'know." Looks like I've been found out, ha ha. But as soon as I turn around fully to face the person in front of me, my face turns into an emotion of shock and surprise. "NO……NO THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! HOW DID YOU……" But before I can finish my shock-toned question………BANG…………..I try to speak again…but the words feel like they're being pulled back from within my body. I look down at my chest and realize why there's a stinging feeling in my chest……I'VE BEEN SHOT. I limp a few steps back – dangerously reaching the nearing end of the hill's vertical edge. I look back up. "Y-Y-Y-Y…………Y…YOU…B-B…B……BASTARD!"

He walks up to me with that smug smile still on his face. And as I feel like I'm about to breathe my last breath, he stares straight at me and places his hand on my chest.

"Let's see you try and come back from this, Kenny."

And with great shock and power, his hand thrusts forward – pushing my body back and making me lose my right foot's grip on the ground. My right foot touches air, my body's weight falls back and the rest of my body goes with it. I stay falling in mid-air for a few seconds as I scream through the loud wind of the cold and painful air. And then……there's nothing……my vision………it turns……………to darkness………………………………………………………………………

Eric's POV

Goodbye Kenny McCormick – you were always a pain in the ass to me you lucky fucker. Who would have thought that a poor kid like you would end up annoying me too by becoming rich just like the other fag in this whole situation?! I didn't want to do that, but you were getting on my nerves too – you would have been a problem if I kept you alive, so it looks like I had no alternative. As I watch as his body collapses onto the far-down sharp collection of rocks and stones…and then…stops moving, I stand back up and straighten myself out again. Time to hide again……the shadows will be the last thing both of those fags will see. I may have only one bullet left…but who says I can't trick the other one into thinking I still have another bullet in my gun. Yes, I can turn this into MY advantage at last. What's that – someone's coming……no, two people in fact…from different directions. PERFECT – it's time to end this.

Stan's POV

By the time I find it, I'm probably gunna look like a fucking idiot after this. But geez, he could have been a bit more specific when he told me where to enter in the church. I should have really come here before today to check where all these entrances lead to inside the church. Any of them could lead to the place where I'm supposed to go in. So as soon as I find it, I can finally go in and let our wedding start. I bet they're all inside now – wondering where the hell I am. I've come to the point where I'm practically sprinting around the church, looking for anything that looks like an entrance or a door. And then, as soon as I reach the behind-area of the church……BANG!

Kyle's POV

BANG! Me and Stan bump into one another as we accidentally knock ourselves together from different directions – well I guess that'll teach me never to run around a hard-to-see-around church.

"Oh thank God you're OK Stan, I was getting worried." I speak in a huge sigh of relief – kissing his forehead for quite some time.

"Kyle, we're not even married yet and you're already trying to eat me alive here." He jokes as he kisses me back.

"Come on, let's get inside – we got a wedding ceremony to complete y'know."

"Oh well that's what YOU think." Suddenly, a voice appears from the dim shadows of the church's underside architecture.

"Well, yeh, we're going inside now." I reply back to that stranger who's hiding himself. "Hey look, if you're one of the people we invited to this wedding, we're sorry, but we're gunna start it now." Me and Stan with arms around one another smile back to the shadows.

"Oh no you're not!"

"……What? Of course we are, the ceremony's about to begin."

Finally, the man with the rough shadowed voice steps from out of the shadows. And……….OH MY GOD. NO……it can't be……it just can't be! BUT IT IS……it's HIM……and he's got a gun pointed at us. "CARTMAN!"

And without warning, he fires the gun……a loud bang echoes around the whole church perimeter and his smug smile remains attached to his rough face. Suddenly, everything around me starts to turn grey…

Eric's POV

The gun has finally been fired. The one who is now limping and weakening with sheer pain……brings so much satisfaction and delight to my face. NOW…DIE!

Kyle's POV

My eyes widen and a mad pulse starts to run riot in my body. I look down…to find……nothing……but my dark suit's jacket…it's clean. But when I look to my left, the horror magnifies to a point that is too much for me to bare. Stan has his hands pressed against his chest – covering an increasing crimson-shaded circle that's growing across the open-view of his light shirt. I try to grab him but he collapses onto the ground before I have time to grab him. I watch as his weakened body falls to the solid ground. I look back up to see Cartman pointing the gun at me now. My upset……then turns to anger. Then comes the loudest speech of anger I've ever expressed.

"CARTMAAAAAAN! YOU FUCKING FAT-ASS!!!"

He laughs. "Oh dear, looks like I kinda spoiled your wedding day, huh?"

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!? YOU JUST TOOK AWAY EVERY BIT OF FUCKING HAPINESS I HAAAAAD!"

"NO, Kyle, I just took away every bit of anger I HAD."

I so want to throw myself at him and rip him to pieces, but he points the gun at me again. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Then again, I guess it could be the perfect way for you two to be together in death. Oh, wait, I FORGOT – Jews don't go to Heaven, do they? Face it Kyle, you've got nothing now!" He laughs.

"No……" I reach for it. "BUT I DO HAVE THIS!" I pull out the handgun from underneath my jacket and point it straight at his forehead. His smugness turns to shock as his eyes widen and I hear a slight whisper of the word 'SHIT!'. And then, without hesitation, I aim the gun downwards and fire the FIRST bullet into his left leg. He screams out in pain and falls to the ground. He tries to reach for his dropped gun, but I kick it away from him – throwing my other foot straight into his chest. And then, I point the gun at his forehead. "I'M GOING TO END THIS…ONCE…AND FOR FUCKING ALL!"

"You can't Kyle – you won't kill me. You're too kind and sweet to kill another person – especially one of my friends."

"YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!!!"

"No…but I do know you. Face it Kyle, you can't pull that trigger without living in sheer guilt. Right now the Jew inside you's screaming 'NO, DON'T DO IT. You're gunna kill another human being!' Face it, you don't have the guts."

My emotions start to run riot inside my head. My grip on the gun becomes weak and numb. But he's right – something inside me is telling me that this is wrong. But…HE SHOT STAN! Oh God, OH CHRIST, what the fuck's happening to me, I'M GOING MAD HERE! Stan or feelings…Stan or feelings…Stan…or…feelings. With it driving me to the edge of insanity and madness, I scream out as loud as I can at the top of my lungs and then………BANG…………straight into Cartman's head.

I stand back up – breathing heavily as I drop the gun onto the ground. Oh my God, I killed someone……I KILLED SOMEONE! Now I know how it feels to be Stan……Stan?………STAN! I rush over to where he collapsed.

"STAN……STAN?!" The clouds turn dark……just as it begins to rain heavily.

Author's Comments: Dum dum DUUUUUUM! Well, that's the longest chapter I've written so far – I guess I really wanted to make this as dark and as dramatic as possible. I'm sure plenty of people would have wanted to kill Cartman after what he's just done, but I guess Kyle was the lucky one in a way. Hey, don't think I'm just gunna turn this into a sad ending – it's doesn't end the way you're all probably thinking it will end. Continue reading and you'll see exactly what happens next……