Chapter 16

"Alright we're here," Brass spoke as they stopped the cars. Everyone piled out, receiving looks from the local FBI to remind them, again that they were to stay there until the scene was cleared.

"Oh for the love of God! We'll stay put," Jessica snapped towards them. "Just get in there and find her already," she continued rolling her eyes. The head agent nodded before he and his men moved out and up the long driveway.

Sighing softly Jessica leaned back against the trunk of the car as Nick hopped up on the trunk before she moved to stand between his legs. Catherine was sitting in the front seat on the passenger's side of the car with the door open so she could talk to the others, and Warrick was leaning against the open door looking at her. Grissom meanwhile was pacing back and forth in front of Jessica and Nick as Greg sat next to Nick juggling three rocks he picked up.

"Greg, you drop those on us and we'll kill you," Nick spoke up glancing at him.

Greg caught the third one and looked at him before shrugging and hopping off the car to go juggle at a safe distance from living people.

Jessica sighed softly thinking over what had led them here. Once they figured out where Sara was, they had to fly to California, easy enough with the jet. Then they had to meet up with the local field office, get the lecture from them five times that they had to stay put until the scene was cleared. Drove up here only to stop just on the road so John wouldn't see them, only to get the 'look' once more. She was about ready to scream.

"You okay?" Nick whispered in her ear.

"I want my friend back Nick," Jessica sighed worriedly. "Other than you, she's the only family I have left."

"I know Baby," he sighed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her gently.

"What the hell is taking them so long?" Catherine called from the front seat before a crack like thunder sounded.

"Oh dear God," Catherine began sitting up as much as she could.

"Strange idea...but who knew Grissom could run like that," Greg spoke up staring after his boss before looking at the others. "Wait a minute...wasn't that a gunshot?" he asked before they heard gunfire being exchanged.

"Oh God Sara…" Jessica trailed off as she took off towards the cabin suddenly, Nick hot on her heels.

"Get back!" the agent yelled when he saw them.

"You honestly think that's going to work!" Warrick snapped as he opened the door to the car he had driven up. Greg quickly hopping out of the car while Warrick walked around to help Catherine out.

Jessica completely ignored the FBI agents trying to prevent her from getting to the cabin. If Nick didn't know better he never would have guessed that she had been thrown through a fence just over two weeks ago.

When Jessica and Nick finally reached the cabin they came across John lying across the threshold of the front door in a pool of blood. Carefully climbing over the body Nick and Jessica made their way into the building, trying to find any sign of Grissom and Sara, finally locating them in the kitchen. The sight that greeted them was not the one that they had been hoping for.

"NO!" cried Jessica as she collapsed to the floor in tears, Nick sitting down next to her, pulling her into his arms and turning her head into his shoulder as she cried.

There in the middle of the kitchen was Sara, lying in a pool of her own blood; a gunshot wound right in the vicinity of her heart. Grissom was kneeling over her body, gently brushing hair off her forehead.

"Oh dear God," Catherine cried from the doorway before Warrick lifted her and carried her back to the car as Greg just stood there in silence, tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Sara was beloved by many, and will be missed for the rest of our lives," Chris spoke from where he stood next to the flag draped casket. "She once told me about a case she had in Vegas. She had been called out on a scene, only to later learn it was a gorilla that died and not a human. When everyone else moved on to other cases, she couldn't forget the creature. She was like that, when others would accept that nothing else could be done, she refused to let it go. Refused to let any person be forgotten. In the end, she buried the gorilla's ashes in the mountains outside Vegas. And this is what she spoke over its resting place. 'For every one in the ground, one stands above.'..." Chris paused as he swallowed. "I'm proud to be the one that is left above, to remember her. And I think that I will spend the rest of my life, trying to help others like she did. It's the least I can do in her memory, so Sunshine, wherever you are. Be happy. And we'll see you on the other side." Kissing his fingers Chris pressed them against the casket before returning to his seat.

Once he had returned to his seat, Rory Atwater rose, along with Ray O'Riley, Alex Vartann, and Brass. The four moved around the casket to take their places, at the ends and sides, as the twenty-one gun salute started. After the third shot, another officer began to play taps as the four lifted the flag and began to fold it. As the song ended, Atwater stood in front of Laura Sidle before bending down slightly and giving her the flag.

Laura Sidle nodded and watched the four return to their seats before she handed the flag to her husband and slowly rose from her seat to walk over next to the casket. Looking around at the group she smiled softly. "Thank you, for caring for our little girl. For loving her. She talked about all of you so often, even though I'd never met many of you, I knew you as well as I knew her. But she wouldn't want you to be sad; she wouldn't want any of us to be sad. Life isn't lived when you let your sadness or anger control you. She knew that from her own life...So I'm going to miss Sunshine, and I'm going to think of her every day of my life...but I'm going to live my life to the fullest. Because it's what she would have wanted." Turning she set a single white rose on top of the casket.

Jessica wiped her eyes as she rose from her spot next to Nick to stand behind the casket. "When I first met Sara it was like I had found the sister I had never had. I had lost my parents a number of years before and tended to be the girl that nobody ever saw, except Sara, thanks in part to a botched marshmallow roasting experiment by the student next to us at Science Camp, which ended up with everyone in the room somehow covered in marshmallow. Even though we both had our demons and we were from two completely different worlds, it was like we had found a part of us that was missing. We became almost inseparable over the years. Our mutual love of science led us both into the same line of work and when I first entered the field it was my luck and my privilege to work with my best friend. She had met Gil Grissom her senior year, he was giving a seminar and from then on I heard more about him than I heard about her. Their friendship lasted…well…Anyway, a number of years after we started working together, Sara took him up on his offer of a position here in Vegas while I continued on in San Francisco. Ironically the case that made our careers in San Francisco is also the case that brought me back to Sara, and the people she considered like family. I was and am honored that they have accepted me into that family. Sara…Sara…" Jessica's words started to falter when her body started giving out under the emotional strain she had been living under since Sara's death.

Nick, seeing Jessica start to sway slightly, rose to his feet and quickly made his way to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her back to their seats, after laying two white roses on top of the casket, where she sat with her head on his shoulder, tears falling silently down her cheeks.

The minister stood up and moved back to the casket, Jessica being the last to speak as the other members of the core group of the night shift, other than Grissom, having already spoken. "The Lord is my Sheppard, I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou are with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever."

Sara Marie Sidle
Sunshine Princess of Fire
September 16, 1971 - October 4, 2005
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Gently tracing the writing Jessica reached up to wipe her eyes. "I am the soft stars that shine at night," Nick read. "Where do I know that from?"

"It's a poem," Grissom's voice surprised the group as they looked up at him; he hadn't talked since before they heard the gunshot that took Sara's life. "Mary Elizabeth Frye, she wrote the original poem, and then an altered version was released for use in greeting cards. The altered version included the line, 'Iamthesoftstarsthatshineatnight'. The original version went like this:

"Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow; I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain; I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush; I am the graceful rush, of beautiful birds in circling flight. I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there - I do not die."

"It's beautiful," Catherine whispered when he was done.

Grissom gave the tinniest uplifting of the corners of his mouth before looking off in the distance. Warrick smiled and took Catherine's arm to lead her back to the cars that waited, they had to return to the lab soon enough, everyone was on shift that night under Ecklie's orders. The shift had been covered the night before so anyone who wanted to could go to the service, but they couldn't cover two nights.

Greg nodded his head before turning and following after the two, leaving Grissom, Nick, and Jessica behind.

Jessica slowly stood up next to Sara's tombstone, laying her hand down on the top of it. "I'll miss you Chica. You will always be with me and I'll do my best to look after Gil for you," she promised quietly, before turning around and walking back to Nick, who wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her back to the car.

When everyone was at the car, they glanced back to see Grissom setting a single rose on top of the stone before turning and walking back to them, glasses in place. Once he reached them, they moved into the car and started the trip home.

It was two months since Sara's funeral and everyone was slowly starting to get back to normal, although Sara and by extension Gil, were never far from their minds. Gil had gone right back to work after the funeral, slowly sinking further and further into himself, never speaking unless absolutely necessary. A large part of him died the day Sara was shot and he was slowly self-destructing.

Jessica and Nick had received confirmation of their suspicions earlier in the day, after Nick finally took Jessica to the hospital when her stomach flu refused to go away. Jessica and Nick were pleasantly surprised to discover that it wasn't the stomach flu that she was suffering from, but that she was in fact, carrying his child. Nick and Jessica had decided that if it was a daughter they would like to name it after their friend but wanted Gil's permission first, which led to Jessica standing outside Gil's front door later that day, prior to the start of that evening's shift.

"Gil?" Jessica called as she opened the door, having received no answer to her knock. "Gil?" she tried again as she made her way through the townhouse. As she walked through the house, a growing feeling of dread came over her, getting worse as she neared the bedroom. "GIL NO!" Jessica cried out as she opened the bedroom door just as a shot rang out and Gil slumped down on the bed.

"GIL NO!" cried Jessica as she bolted awake, sitting up so suddenly that she scared everyone in the room, and falling off the couch in the process.

"Shh Jess, it was only a dream," soothed Nick as he sat down on the floor next to a frantic Jessica.

"Where's Gil? Nick where is he?" demanded Jessica frantically through tears.

"It's alright Jess, he's right here," Nick told her trying to calm her.

"Jess, what's wrong?" Grissom asked concerned as he stooped down next to her.

"Oh thank God, you're alive," replied Jessica, grabbing a hold of Grissom's arms. "It wasn't real…none of it was real…" she trailed off as she let her tears overtake her.

"Shh, it's okay Jess," Grissom tried to sooth her looking at Nick for help. Sara he could handle, any other woman...let alone any other human...well he couldn't change overnight.

Nick nodded at Grissom before turning his attention back to Jessica. "It was only a dream Baby. You over did it earlier and you're body shut down on you. This is just your mind's way of trying to deal with everything that's going on," he soothed as he gently rubbed his hand up and down Jessica's back. "Everyone's fine and we're going to get Sara back."

Jessica nodded into Nick's shoulder as she tried to get her tears under control, refusing to let go of Nick, who had become her lifeline in the past few weeks.

Before anyone else had a chance to breathe, let alone speak, a cell phone began to ring causing Grissom to rise and remove the phone from his pocket. "Grissom?" he began before standing up straight. "What...Chris slow down..." he continued before rolling his eyes. "And I use to think your sister could talk faster than anyone else in the world. Now what are you saying?" he asked as he walked towards the table where the maps lay, every eye glued to him. "What? Where?" he asked grabbing the map and turning it so it was right side up for him. Reaching down he traced the map before stopping. "Okay Chris, okat I'll have someone wait for the fax. Bye," he clicked the phone off. "Greg, there's a fax coming in my office, go wait for it," he instructed looking up from the map.

"What's going on Griss?" Catherine asked as Greg took off and they heard him crash into someone, apologizing profusely.

"Chris found a deed in the attic, property belonging to his grandfather. Near Fort Jones in California."

"Jess, what are you doing?" asked Nick as Jessica started feeling over his body.

"Where is it Nick?" asked Jessica as she continued her search of his body.

"What are you looking for?" he asked just as Jessica hit a rather ticklish spot.

"Your phone Nick. Where's your bloody phone?"

"Here," replied Nick pulling the phone off the back of his belt and handing it to her. "Phillip?"

Jessica nodded as she flipped open his phone and started dialing the number.

"Who's Phillip?" Warrick asked curiously.

"Phillip, it's Jessica. Get the plane ready to fly immediately. We'll be arriving within the hour and we'll be going to Klamath Falls Oregon," instructed Jessica before hanging up the phone and handing it back to Nick.

Grissom looked at her not blinking, before shaking his head. "Jess, you do realize we need to contact the FBI as we're looking at a kidnapping across state borders, have to make contact with the local field office..." he trailed off with a smile. "We might not be ready in an hour."

"Doesn't matter. This way the plane is ready to take off the minute we arrive," Jessica replied. "Now would be a good time to call the FBI wouldn't you say?"

"Who the hell is Phillip!" Catherine shrieked before everyone looked at her surprised. "Okay, let's refresh here. Nine months pregnant, about ready to pop. Have a friend who has been kidnapped by a creep of the worst kind, and seriously out of the loop. Oh and did I mention nine-monthspregnantwhich means I am seriouslylacking in the control of mood department and in the patience department."

"It's okay Sweetheart," Warrick soothed patting her hand.

"Pat my hand one more time while saying 'it's okay Sweetheart' and yourhandwill be needing acast," Catherine growled.

"Deal," Warrick replied stepping back. "So, shall we get a hold of the FBI? Please?" he added glancing at his wife who was rolling her eyes.

"Phillip is my pilot Catherine. He's making sure the jet it ready to go when we are," explained Jessica as Nick helped her to her feet.

"Pilot? You have your own pilot?" Catherine asked sitting up. "Hey you think we can steal him someday when we actually get to go on a honeymoon?"

"I don't see why not," mused Jessica. "Hell, I'll even send you on a honeymoon to a private beach if you want," she offered.

"Really?" she asked with a grin.

"I think you're out of the dog house Rick," Greg grinned from the doorway.

"Stuff it chemistry boy," Catherine snapped.

"Of course Catherine," replied Jessica. "You think the house was a lot, I can promise you that the cost of the house barely made a dent in my bank account. You guys have become my family and I have all this money just sitting around so why not spend it on you guys. You can even ask Nick about the kind of money my family has if you don't believe me, he's seen my house."

"Yes ma'am," Greg replied with a salute to Catherine so she'd know he wasn't ignoring her, thus causing her to continue to snap at him, he was long used to her mood swings. "And I have one deed to a log cabin in Fort Jones California. Two beds, one-and-a-half baths, seven acres of pasture covering a quarter mile of Scott River. Corrals, two other buildings. All in all it seems like a pretty nice place…oh and did I mention it's got views of Mt. Shasta and Scott Valley?"

"Yes Greg we thank you for the wonderful description and yes it sounds like a nice place, but let's remember who it is that owns the place," Catherine spoke up.

"Well technically Sara's dead grandfather owns the place so..." he shrugged.

"Greg...fax please," Grissom asked holding out his hand.

Jessica started pacing impatiently as Grissom looked over the fax. "Of course, damn it," she cursed quietly before turning back to Nick. "Nick, I need your phone."

"Again?" asked Nick. "Who are you calling this time? Alicia?"

"Yes Nick again, please?" pleaded Jessica. "And no it's not Alicia," she told him as she began dialing, picking up her pacing once again. "Brian?...It's Jessica Harrison…I've been better, how are you?...Look Brian, I need your help…A friend has been kidnapped and we believe she's been taken over state lines into California and is being held up near Fort Jones…This is the second time he's gotten a hold of her…it's her uncle…Uh huh…look Brian, I really don't want to give out too much over the phone, can you help us?...Good, we'll be there in about two hours. Thanks Brian," Jessica finished hanging up the phone.

"Okay Jess, who's Brian, and should I be worried?" asked Nick slightly concerned.

"Brian's a friend, we went to Berkeley together and you have nothing to worry about Nick, I promise," reassured Jessica. "So if everyone's ready, I believe we have a plane to catch?" she asked looking at the others in the room while handing Nick his phone back.

"Thought here, shouldn't we be going to the nearest FBI office instead of Klamath Falls?" Greg asked looking at the map.

"Or are they at the same place?" he continued looking up.

"Good point," commented Jessica, holding out her hand for Nick's phone, which he handed back over rolling his eyes in the process. "I saw that Nick," teased Jessica as she started dialing again. "Phillip? Change of destination. We're heading to Sacramento not Klamath Falls. We'll be there shortly so be ready to take off the minute we're aboard. Thank you Phillip," she finished hanging up the phone and once more handing it back to Nick. "Shall we?"

The others just blinked at her for a moment before Catherine spoke up.

"Umm, girl don't get me wrong I'm all for not wasting time. But...well what about a few changes of clothes and such that we're going to need and all that other stuff. Not to mention arranging time off with Ecklie and I have to get Lindsey to my sister's and...well I don't even know if I'm cleared to fly although there's honestly no way the damn doctors will keep me here..."

"And you're babbling baby," Warrick teased.

"I'm nine-months pregnant. I'm allowed to babble," she replied with a smirk.

"Never said you weren't."

"Good."

"First off, Clothes? Not a problem, I can deal with that once we get there. Secondly Ecklie can kiss my ass because quite frankly I could see to it that this lab either hits a windfall where funding is concerned or the funding gets yanked completely, in which case you're all unemployed anyway. Thirdly, we can pick up Lindsey on the way and I can arrange for Alicia to watch over her if that's all right with you and finally as for you flying, it's not as if you're flying coach across the Atlantic," replied Jessica.

"Well," Catherine began. "I guess that settles that. Although we should probably let the Sheriff know what's going on..."

"Got it covered," a new voice spoke from the doorway

"How much have you heard?" Grissom asked Brass.

"You have a possible location for Sara, going to the local field office, Jessica here is going to fly you there, which I'll ask about another time, and provide a babysitter for Lindsey and provide clothing and such for the rest of you. Oh and my favorite part, that Ecklie can kiss her ass. Can I sell tickets to that?" he grinned at Jessica.

"Only if the profits go to my foundation?" smiled Jessica in return.

"Damn. And I could use the extra money too," Jim snapped his fingers. "Oh well, your foundation will get any and all proceeds," he continued with a wink. "So, you lot, get your butts out of here and go get our girl. I'll deal with the higher ups."

"Thanks Brass," replied Jessica, kissing him on the cheek as she walked out of the room, Nick following along behind her shaking his head.

Thirty minutes later the group was settled aboard the Harrison jet and heading for California. The calls were made to Alicia, who intended to meet them at the airport, and other than severe anxiety on everyone's parts, they were fairly calm considering what awaited them when they landed.

October 2nd, 2005
9:15 a.m.
Harwood Cabin

"Wake up, wake up."

Groaning softly Sara rolled over. "Go away," she grumbled. God she had a piercing headache.

"Now Sarai, it's time to wake up."

Sitting up straight Sara looked around trying to place where that voice was coming from. "I'm dreaming, just dreaming," she told herself before pinching her arm. /-/Ow! That freakin hurt. Oh crap, that means this isn't a dream. No, no, no, no, no./-/

"You aren't dreaming, my Love," John smiled as he reached up to brush her hair back, frowning when she jerked back from him.

"Stop that," Sara whispered turning to look at him, now knowing his general location.

"Oh Sara. Shh, everything's going to be okay," he murmured wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him in a hug.

/-/You'd think he'd get the hint, I can't be any tenser./-/

"How are you, my Love?" John asked as he let her go and she scrambled back before falling off the bed and landing on the floor. Hard. /-/Ow that hurt. Oh I think I just bruised my tailbone. Damn it!/-/

"Sara? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she answered pushing him away before pushing herself up and on to her feet. "Where are we?"

"We're home," answered John and she just knew he was saying that as if it was a simple fact, and his face would reflect his tone. Hell, she just knew what his face looked like at the moment; she'd seen that expression enough in her life.

"Where's Sahidi?" she asked having run the rest of the questions through her head and knowing he wouldn't be receptive to 'Where's my boyfriend?'.

"Sahidi?" John echoed.

"My dog John. My companion for the sight impaired," she ground out.

"Oh, the Saint Bernard," John answered. "He's back in Las Vegas. We couldn't bring him with us. But don't worry Sara; I'm here. You'll be fine. Besides, you know this place as well as anyone with sight."

"Is he alright?" /-/Dear God let Sahidi be all right. Sahidi was Chris' baby. Hell Sahidi is my baby. Please let him be all right./-/

"He's perfectly fine," John replied sounding like he was trying to assure a five-year-old. "I left him in your bathroom. I'm sure by now he's been found," he trailed off. "By your lover no doubt."

Looking up at him quickly a thousand thoughts ran through her mind as she tried to guess what his expression and eyes must look like after those words came out of his mouth in that tone. No…she could guess what he looked like. She'd heard that tone before…the first time she came home talking about Bernie, before her mother had banished him from their lives. Dear God…he looked ready to kill and she was only talking about a guy.

Swallowing back her fear, she tilted her chin defiantly. "He's not my lover."

"Don't lie to me Sara. You've been living with him for months. He stayed with you a night at the hotel in that…place. That modern day Sodomn and Gomora," he spat.

"I'm telling you the truth John," Sara argued. "Yes, I admit, that night at the hotel we slept together. But that is the only time in the thirteenyears I've known Grissom."

"So what Sara? You've been living in his house and nothing? What kind of fool do you take me for?" John yelled before she heard him stomp away and pace across the floor.

/-/Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. He is beyond pissed./-/

"I should kill him. He broke a commandment. He broke many commandments," John yelled to her.

"The fifth commandment says 'Thou shall not kill'," she replied softly.

"And yet it says that if a man defiles your wife, that man must be punished," John snapped back.

"I haven't been with any man since you left me in Texas," Sara argued softly. /-/I can't let him go after Gil...He'd kill him. Dear God, he'd kill him without a thought./-/

"I couldn't…be…with any man after…after I was with you." /-/And that certainly wasn't because of any feelings of having to be loyal to you! But what the hell do you know, if it keeps you from killing him, freaking believe what you want to./-/

She could hear him walking closer, and willed herself to stay still. He stopped, directly in front of her. His breath, Listerine over killed as usual, nearly causing her to choke. /-/Damn does he not realize that you don't need to use half the bottle every morning. And especially not the largest bottle size there is./-/

"God can see the lies in your heart Sara. But for now, I will believe you. In time, if you are lying you will tell me the truth. But I'll let this man live…for your sake."

She didn't move until she heard the door slam shut. Reaching behind herself she found the wall and followed it around the room, ensuring herself that nothing had been changed. Well at least she knew one thing…he hadn't changed the layout of the cabin in the fourteen years since she had been here.

"Sara."

Turning she looked towards him and waited for him to speak. Now if she could just get him to leave her alone for more than fifteen minutes.

"My Love, come with me," he continued. She frowned at him in confusion before he took her hand.

/-/Don't loose whatever is left of your last meal Sara. Just don't loose it. Would be horribly funny to remember after I'm safely back in Vegas, but he would not take it well right now./-/

He pulled her along, back towards the bedroom based on the sounds of the floorboards and feel of the room. "I wanted to show you where your things are," he continued leading her to the dresser, reaching out she trailed her free hand along the edge before he stopped. "The drawers on the right side are yours. I've already taken care of your things," he continued opening the top drawer and laying her hand in the drawer.

Frowning she gently picked up the fabric. It was soft…silky… /-/Please let these be blouses and not what I think they are./-/

"Nightgowns Sarai. They're on the right side, under clothes are on the left," he spoke up.

/-/Ah hell, they are freaking Nightgowns. Well, Warrick every asks why I don't wear nightgowns after this, course that would only happen if we are having a discussion about the night we set that pig on fire…unless we have some unknown reason for using cotton nightgowns again in the future…I can finally explain why…damn stupid nightgowns./-/

"The second drawer is filled with socks and t-shirts Love. And the bottom drawer has shorts, and flannel."

"Of course," she answered before closing the drawer.

"Come, the closet is next," John spoke up eager to show her no doubt. At least he sounded that way. She followed him to the closet and waited for him to open the door. He pulled her hand inside and she was surprised when she felt the familiar markers that littered her own closet at home. "I had them made, I knew you'd need them," he explained as she read the metal tags on each piece of clothing. Skirts, dresses, a few pairs of pants, even less jeans, a number of blouses and sweaters, a warm jacket…"And I have this for you," John continued moving away from her before returning and taking her hand to wrap it around what he held. Now this she knew as well as she knew the tags that hung in the closet. Well he'd brought her a cane; maybe she could manage to escape thanks to it.

"Thank you," she whispered knowing that he would be expecting a response.

"You're welcome Sara," he replied and she knew exactly what smile he was wearing.

"Can I…go walk outside for a while?"

"Of course. Would you like company?"

"I probably wouldn't be very good company right now, I need to relearn what everything is like out there so I don't run into any trees you know," she shrugged. /-/Come on John, fall for it…/-/

"Well, I can walk with you to keep you from running into trees," he began quickly.

"But you can't always be with me John. Besides, my therapists have always stressed that it is vital for me to learn things on my own. I can't let others do what I need to do on my own. It would only make things worse…" /-/Come on damn you, fall for the nice innocent Sara routine already./-/

"Of course, my Love," John replied finally before turning away and returning to pull a coat over her shoulders. Slipping one arm into it and moving her cane to that hand, she slipped the other arm in before moving her cane to her right hand.

"Thank youe" she smiled before turning and making her way towards the door, making sure to use her cane over much so he wouldn't suspect she could move around without it. Once she reached the door she started out and followed the perimeter of the area. Not much had changed in the years since she had been here. The horses were gone, she knew that immediately. She didn't want to think about what had become of Rosebud and Storms…Truth was she had often dreamed of getting them to Heaven's Paradise, away from John. But things were different then…and now.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to the sky when she reached the creek. Sinking down to the ground she slipped her shoes off and let her feet soak in the water. True the water was ice cold, but the numbness in her feet kept her balanced. Kept her from panicking. Dear God what was she going to do now.

On one hand, she stayed…she had nothing left to live for.

On the other…he would kill Gil, and that would only be the start. John would…could…harm anyone who tried to keep them apart. He was insane, she knew that when she was nineteen and in Harvard looking back at her life from the standpoint of one who knew the truth that she had been denied as a child, and she knew that today…after all that she had seen in the world of Law Enforcement and from those weeks spent with him after he took her from Miami. He had killed those women as a message to her. She knew that now…so what would keep him from killing anyone she cared about. Gil, Jessica, her parents, Chris, Warrick, Catherine, Nick, Greg…everyone was fair game in his world…

God help her what choice did she truly have. As long as she lived, he would do anything to have her. He would kill anyone who was foolish enough to try and save her from him. She could never just leave and expecthim to let her go. But she couldn't let him…Even though she and Gil had yet to be together since that night she was back in Vegas for the conference…she had vowed to herself that she would never be with another man other than him. At least she had vowed that after they had worked things out in the hospital and all that fun…She couldn't…wouldn't…let John touch her again. But there was only one way to avoid that…Wait, that worked. If she were dead, he'd have no reason to hurt everyone. And she would be free. On the other hand, could she really leave Gil and Jessica alone in the world…If it were her choice, no. However…sometimes in life you didn't have a choice. And given the options before her…well…

Pulling her feet out of the water she rubbed them vigorously to get the feeling back in them before she rose and started her way back to the cabin. She'd give them time to find her. She knew they'd figure it out eventually…but if they didn't find her before…Well, the creek wasn't just there for watering horses and freezing her feet. And technically drowning was the most painless way to die, if you kept yourself from fighting... Boom, you're gone. Glancing back towards the creek she nodded. /-/Yes, if he did come for me again…The creek and I are going to be on much more intimate terms…Just let them understand when they find out…/-/

Sunday October 2nd, 2005
1:05 p.m.
FBI Sacramento Headquarters
Sacramento, California

After spending the morning looking for suitable clothing and then dining at one of Sara and Jessica's favorite restaurants in Vacaville, all paid for courtesy of Jessica, they all made their way to FBI Headquarters in Sacramento.

"Excuse me, Miss Harrison?"

"Yes?" Jessica asked turning around to face the young woman. "He'll see you now, if you'll all just follow me."

"Thank you," replied Jessica as she and the group followed the young woman to a meeting room where a man of average height, a sturdy build and blonde hair and blue eyes was waiting for them. "Brian," greeted Jessica as she walked in and over to the young man, kissing him lightly on both cheeks.

"Jessica, it's so good to see you. I just wish it was under better circumstances," replied Brian indicating for everyone to take a seat around the conference room table.

"I agree," Jessica said taking her seat. "Brian, let me introduce everyone. This is Catherine Willows and her husband Warrick Brown, Greg Sanders, Nick Stokes, Gil Grissom and the dog is Sahidi. Everyone, I'd like you to meet Special Agent Brian Flynn."

"Your friend is an agent?" Greg repeated staring at her like she lost her mind.

"Good observational skills man," commented Nick.

"Shut up," Greg muttered. "Last I checked I haven't slept in heading towards seventy-two hours, so bite me."

"Greg," hissed Jessica, causing Nick to chuckle. "Watch it Texas boy. Sorry about that Brian, I may have forgotten to mention what exactly it was you did. I just really want to get my friend back alive."

"That's all right Jessica, it's completely understandable," replied Brian. "Now how about filling me in on everything that's happened since your friend went missing, who you think took her and why and what makes you think she's here in California."

"Who wants to take that job?" Greg asked looking around at those from Vegas.

"Ah Agent Flynn, I believe this might be of some help," Grissom spoke up handing the man a file. "Sara was kidnapped last December by her uncle, one John Harwood. We managed to rescue her in Texas only a few weeks later, but John escaped. She was in Protective Custody for six months before she left, Sara is...very stubborn. And she couldn't live her life in fear so, none of us argued. Two nights ago I returned home to find it broken into and Sahidi, her Seeing Eye dog, locked in the bathroom. Also there was a bible on the coffee table, a habit John started using with his last victims."

"I think you forgot to mention that part Griss," Catherine spoke up as Brian looked through the folder.

"Oh...yeah," Grissom sighed. "John is also the Birchwood Rapist from San Francisco and the Night Stalker from Vegas. Turns out he was following Sara."

"We believe she's in California because her Grandfather or Great-Grandfather, I'm not exactly sure which, owns a cabin up near Fort Jones," Catherine continued giving Grissom a break. "Her brother found a copy of the deed in his attic, and there is no record of it leaving the family. Also Jess remembers Sara talking about it when she was a teenager as a place she'd go with her Uncle. That theory also works with the fact that John was bringing her west from Florida with an obvious destination somewhere west of Texas when his plans were foiled."

"This wouldn't be Sara Sidle would it?" asked Brian curiously.

"Yes," replied Jessica quietly.

"Jess, why didn't you tell me it was Sara on the phone? You know I would do anything to help either one of you," chided Brian.

"I'm sorry Brian but there's just been a lot going on and I thought…I thought…I don't know what I was thinking beyond getting my friend back alive," replied Jessica.

"It's okay Jessica, I'm not angry," soothed Brian as he took her hand. "Let me get my team together and we'll get to work on a game plan for getting Sara back."

Jessica nodded in agreement and Brian rose from his seat, leaving Jessica and the others alone in the room for a short while as he gathered his team and everything they would need. Once Brian was gone from the room, Nick pulled Jessica close, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"How are you doing?" asked Nick quietly.

"I'm okay," replied Jessica.

"You're ribs okay? Are they hurting any?"

"A little bit," Jessica admitted.

"Do you want your pills? It might be better for you if you don't have to worry about the pain in your ribs while we're getting everything ready," suggested Nick.

"Okay," agreed Jessica, letting Nick get out her pills and pour out a glass of water for her.

"Okay, they've somehow managed to keep me quiet till now," Catherine began giving the others a look to say 'you try to shut me up this time and you'll be there with her needing pain pills'. "What the hell happened? Out of curiosity of course," she added with a nod

"I got thrown through a fence," replied Jessica quietly, Nick giving her a supportive squeeze.

"Not to sound stupid and all, but how did you get thrown through a fence?" Greg asked.

"Don't tell me Nick got so carried away he threw you through one..."

"Watch it Sanders before I throw you through the nearest one I can find," threatened Nick.

"I was schooling one of the young stallions at my family's stables when out of the blue there was a huge crash from somewhere in the stable yard. Heaven's Pastime spooked and bolted. I took a chance that if I turned him towards the pasture fence he would either jump it or stop. Unfortunately I wasn't planning on having him turn suddenly as he stopped so I got pitched off over his shoulder and ended up going right through the fence. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was seeing Nick's face," explained Jessica.

"Oh that had to hurt," Greg got out with quite a few facial expressions as he considered it. "And you're here, up and walking. It were me I'd be in bed going wait on me hand and foot cause I'm in a hell of a lot of pain," he continued shaking his head. "Then again, if it were me right now, I'd be here too. Any other circumstances, I'd be in that bed."

"Greg darling, shut up while you still got room in that mouth to talk around your foot," Catherine spoke up with a small grin.

"Yes Ms. Willows" he replied with a puppy dog look.

"I cracked or broke almost every rib, sprained my wrist, had a collapsed lung and a mild concussion. I was in the hospital for a number of days before my doctor decided there would be no difference between me staying in the hospital and recovering at home so they released me. Nick's been looking after me ever since," offered Jessica, resting her head back on Nick's shoulder.

"I thought I'd lost you before I ever got you back when I saw you go through that fence," commented Nick, pulling Jessica close.

"Ohh," Catherine began with a sniffle. "You're so adorable together," she continued before breaking out into sobs. "And I don't even know why I'm crying..."

"I know Sweetheart, we all know," Warrick soothed as he hugged her and she soaked his shirt.

"I never cried this much with Lindsey."

"I know Sweetheart."

"There are times I don't like you."

"I know Sweetheart."

"And stop saying that same thing, you say it again and I'll hit you."

"As you wish," Warrick replied with a smile to the others. "Sweetheart, remember what Lindsey said when we told her you were pregnant?" he asked before she looked up and him, and promptly busted out laughing.

"You know, that works every time," Greg whispered to Nick and Jessica.

"Is everything alright in here?" asked Brian entering the room followed by a number of other people, interrupting Catherine and Warrick. "Shall we get to work on getting your friend back to you?"

"Hell yes," Catherine replied serious, all trace of laughter and tears gone.

Monday October 3rd, 2005
4:00 a.m.
Fort Jones, California
Harwood Cabin

"Sara, it's time to wake up. Breakfast is ready."

Grumbling she rolled over ready to tell Gil to go the hell away to a more reasonable hour when she remembered everything that had happened in the past...well, was it twenty-four hours or forty-eight hours?

"I already laid out some clothes for you, my Love," John continued before turning and leaving the room.

Hearing the door shut behind him she sat up and grabbed her cane, getting it to a more reachable position once she was dressed. /-/Damn, it's freaking cold!/-/ Jumping back onto the bed after she initially put her feet down only to have them turn to ice cubes, she rubbed them to get some warmth into them. /-/Don't tell me he's still on that have to be up at four in the morning thing again... please./-/ Sighing she dropped her feet to the floor once more and winced at the cold, then made her way to the dresser, where he would have left her clothes knowing him, and sighed with frustration when she felt the fabric of the dress. /-/Damn man, and people wonder why I hate dresses. I'll never understand what his whole thing about women only wearing dresses and skirts is. I swear he's stuck in the freakin' 1880s like I use to tell Jyn./-/

Shaking her head she slipped out of the nightgown. /-/Blasted nightgowns,/-/ and into the dress. /-/Stupid dresses./-/ Folding the nightgown from habit she laid it on top of the dresser before sinking down to crouch as she felt around for the shoes that would no doubt be where he set her clothing and a pair of nylons.

/-/God I hate this man's sense of style./-/ Grabbing the nylons and... /-/Ah lovely, sandals. It's October for crying out loud, there's already snow out there, and he steals my boots. God I seriously despise his sense of style./-/

After fussing with the nylons and slipping her feet into the sandals, which had straps that wrapped around her leg and up to her knee, /-/I thought I got rid of these things when I was eighteen, hell I know I escaped them then, and he finds them again. God!/-/ she trailed her hand along the top of the dresser until she found a brush, quickly brushing her hair she realized that she was almost back to her length when she 'disappeared' over a year before. Grabbing her cane she turned and made her way to the door and in turn out into the room, following the familiar path to the kitchen table. God help her, she didn't want to eat anything the man had made, he'd probably be stuffing a ton of meat into her, but she needed to eat to keep up her strength so she wouldn't be near dead when they finally came to rescue her.

/-/That is if he doesn't try any funny business before then...No! Don't think like that Sara; think happy thoughts. This is Gil; sure her family thought that the cabin was sold years ago. Sure they had no way of tracking her here. But this was Gil and his team and Jessica, and I know Jess is going to be there the moment she finds out I'm gone. If anyone could figure out where she was, they could. Yes, so they were going to find her and until then she needed to eat, even if it meant she had to eat meat. Just picture John being strapped down for his execution each time I take a bite. Yes, that'll work./-/

"Why are you smiling Sara?"

Looking up when she heard his voice she fought a mental panic attack. "Oh nothing, just thinking about how pretty it use to be here during the first snow."

/-/Good cover Sara girl. Oh crap now I'm talking to myself. Just great, it's bad enough he ruined my childhood and damn near ruined my teen years...no, he did ruin my teen years. Oh and then there's the fact that he tried to keep me from going to college and all that hell. But now he's got me freakin' talking to myself./-/

"It's always lovely here. Even more when you're here with me."

/-/Come on, smile Sara...that's a girl. Make him think you agree. Stop talking to yourself. ARRRGH I'm getting worse! God, I'll get out of here and be like oh yes I survived the psychopathic rapist and killer that is my uncle but I picked up the habit of talking to myself so yeah, you'll all think I'm crazy but I'm really not. Oh god, I'm starting to babble in my own mind./-/

"Sara..." he began softly and she looked up at him concerned. "I wanted to apologize to you."

/-/Apologize, no way, he's finally realizing what an asshole he is and is going to let me go home and leave me alone for the rest of my life?/-/

"I forgot the baby," he continued and she moved her head up to stare at him in shock so fast that she felt the top vertebra of her spine crack. "I know, I know. I made a huge mistake," he continued quickly. "But he or she must have been in child care, although I can't say I blame you for putting the child there, it must be impossible to care for a young child in that world on your own while he works. Especially in your condition... And I know that is no excuse, but at the moment it's the only explanation I have...Perhaps in time we can go back and get the child, bring him home to us. But for now we'll have to leave it there..." he continued and she simply stared at him in shock.

/-/He thinks I had the baby? He thinks I had a baby! The world has lost it's ever loving mind.../-/

"I hope it wasn't a difficult pregnancy Sarai...I'm sorry I wasn't there for you...but from the times I saw you around town with your companions...it seemed like the child was easy on you...you barely gained any weight, but you truly did glow, my Love..."

"Umm...thanks," she replied after a moment still floored.

"What is the child like?" he continued with a smile in his voice. "Is it a boy or girl? If it's a boy, we must name him Issac, if it's a girl, Rebecca," he continued sounding quite like a kid in a candy store.

"Umm..." she trailed off glancing down at her plate.

"Shh, it's okay Sarai. We can discuss this later, I know it must be hard on you to be separated from our child so soon after it's birth. Last month...nine months would have been then..."

/-/Oh shit he's right, nine months from November or beginning of December would have been during last month. God, now if that isn't a reality check.../-/

"How's your breakfast? I could always make an omelet just like you loved them," he continued after a moment.

/-/Talk about a subject change...how do you go from talking about a non-existent child to breakfast...odd man...oh like I didn't already know that! Okay, need to answer him, come on think of an answer. Oh I know, how about…oh yeah you could John, but see I gave up meat a few years ago so Chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes, feta cheese and spinach omelets just aren't my favorite anymore... although if you cut out the ham and chicken...mmmm that actually sounds really good. Tomatoes, spinach, ooh artichoke hearts, feta and mushrooms, oh and olives.../-/

"It's perfect" she replied with a smile.

"Good, and fresh orange juice. You're favorite."

"Always." /-/Sadly it's the one thing I could not give up after he fell out of my life and I was free of him. Damn...although, it's orange juice I love, orange juice...and I'm talking to myself again.Stopit!/-/

"So, what would you like to do today? We're suppose to have snow tonight, I've already chopped enough wood to last for the next few days in case we're snowed in..."

"That's great." /-/Damn it! If there's a blizzard there's even more of a hassle for my rescue party./-/ "And I have no idea, normally I'd say we can go riding..."

"I'm sorry about that, I simply couldn't care for the horses..." he trailed off apologetically.

/-/No shit Sherlock; you were terrorizing and murdering poor innocent women in Frisco and Vegas./-/ "Actually, I meant the whole not being able to see thing," she answered with a innocent smile.

"Oh of course, how could I be so stupid. I'm sorry, my Love."

/-/Call me that one more time and I swear this cane will be so far up your ass you'll choke on the end!/-/ "That's okay."

"Would you like to watch a movie?"

/-/I want to get the hell out of here and back to Vegas where I have my dog who would bite your family jewels off and go bury them and I have my friends and GIL!/-/ "Oh sure, what do you have?"

"What about The Robe?" he suggested.

/-/God I can quote that thing from beginning to end, I think I've watched it enough to last one lifetime!/-/ "Sure." /-/ Same old couch, same old opening to the movie...nothing new... \Do da de do da dum. Hmm maybe talking to myself isn't such a bad idea. Better than this...Wonder what everyone's doing right now. Hmm let's see I have some time to kill. Maybe I can figure out the whole what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Hmm there's a thought...I wonder if Jyn has considered opening a branch of the foundation in Vegas...God knows that would help the women and children there be they on vacation or living there...Wandering hands, move over Sara. Okay safe distance now...so where was I? Ah yes, a branch of the foundation in Vegas that would be good, I could even work. Hell I can still type 60 words a minute, so I can't see; I'm use to programs by now that read what's on the computer. That might be a good thing, anything I learned from the school all those years ago is that people with disabilities tend to not reach out to people who don't understand them. And having a person there with a disability might make them more willing to come seek the help they need. Wandering hands again, move over...crap there's no more room. Okay hold very still...maybe he'll stop. He's not stopping. He's definitely not stopping. Okay don't panic...don't panic. Okay I'm panicking here. Screw the don't panic mantra. Okay come on find your cane Sara...yes have cane. Okay where's his head...oh brother he didn't shave. Ugh stubble prickles, I miss Gil's nice soft beard...Okay cane in hand and.../-/

"OW! Sara!"

/-/Ok push him off, hey knee him in the groin while you're at it. Oh good hit. Now up, and towards the door... /-/

"Sara!" John moaned. "Get back here!"

/-/Stuff it up your windpipe Uncle John! Now, aha door, now out and towards the creek. Crap I can hear him at the door. Don't stop, keep running...okay make that running, tripping, falling to the ground, back up on feet...oh hell does my knee hurt, damn. Okay I can hear the creek, just a bit further. Come on Sara...SHIT he's firing that blasted gun...

Monday October 3rd, 2005
6:00 a.m.
Fort Jones, California
Harwood Cabin

"Listen to me Jessica," ordered Brian. "Do not, I repeat do not go any where near that cabin until we've cleared the scene and given the all clear understand?"

"Yes Brian," sighed Jessica. "For the hundredth time, we heard you."

"Good," snapped Brian before turning and making his way over to his team, leaving Jessica and the others at a safe point just up the road.

"Anyone else wanting to totally hurt that man?" Catherine called from the front seat where she was sitting with the door open.

"I think we all do," her husband replied as he made his way over to stand next to the car door.

"You're telling me," Greg sighed as he hopped up on the trunk near Nick.

"Come here," Nick whispered as he pulled Jessica back to stand between his legs. "You okay?"

"I want my friend back Nick," sighed Jessica worriedly as Grissom began pacing. "Other than you, she's the only family I have left."

"I know Baby," he sighed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her gently.

As soon as Nick's arms wrapped around her, Jessica found herself short of breath and beginning to sweat even though is was a cool October morning.

"Jess, what is it? What's wrong?" Nick asked worriedly hopping down off the truck when Jessica suddenly pulled out of his arms. "Baby? Baby listen to me. You have to breathe Jess. I need you to take big deep breaths for me," Nick instructed when he realized Jessica was hyperventilating. A panic attack was the last thing Jessica needed as it might cause her body to shut down on her again and it was too soon after the last one for that to happen. The doctor had warned him that if they happened too frequently it could jeopardize Jessica's health.

"My dream…" Jessica managed to get out between gasps. "Nick…dream…"

"Baby, look at me. I need you to breathe," Nick told her, taking deep breaths himself, hoping Jessica would follow his lead. "What about your dream?" he asked when Jessica had her breathing under better control.

"This…" replied Jessica, indicating everything around them. "This is my dream Nick…and…and it doesn't end well…" she said starting to panic once more.

"Jess, Baby, that was just a dream. We're going to get her back," he told her in no uncertain terms as he pulled her into his arms.

"What can be taking so long?" Catherine grumbled.

"Um...interesting thought here and all. But anyone ever seen Grissom run like the devil was after him before?" Greg asked staring after their supervisor. "And was that a gun shot?" he asked before another sounded, then a few dozen more.

"Sara," whispered Jessica as she pulled back from Nick, looking him in the eyes before taking off after Grissom.

"Jess wait!" called Nick as he too took off running towards the sounds of gunfire.