Howdy! Ahhh! Here we go: Part deux of my story. You guys have been awesome, as always! Of course, you know this and if you don't, well you do now! Haha! I'm weird. I know this, okay? Just because I haven't been properly diagnosed doesn't mean I'm without mental problems. Everybody in my family knows this. Just ask them.
Disclaimer: Seriously? Fine. I own nothing. *mutters* So not fair…
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Nick watched nervously as Jess turned around to face him after dragging him into her room and locking the door behind them.
He really didn't wanna have this talk now. He wanted to go to bed. And he didn't care how immature it sounded. He just wanted to avoid this discussion at all costs.
He was being a pussy. He knew this. Just because he didn't like talking about certain things didn't mean he was unaware of them.
He was never any good discussing his feelings. Even as a kid, it was impossible for him. He preferred taking the whole 'actions speaking louder than words' approach.
Of course, if he had taken that exact approach concerning his situation with Jess, he would have probably (okay, definitely) kissed her during the first month or so of her living with him and the guys.
And he had been close, too. Many times.
She probably hadn't noticed it during those precious moments where he almost went 'the-hell-with-it', grabbed her and almost made his feelings known.
No, she hadn't. But, he certainly had.
He remembered distinctly that moment in the phone booth at the wedding they had gone to together as a 'pretend couple'.
He had been pathetically drunk, whining over Caroline yet the constant thought in his head had been how much of an ass he'd been to Jess.
He was almost to the point of being sober again when she had arrived and joined him in the booth.
Then, after she gave him her little quirky, helpful pep talk, there it was.
It had been brief. But, it was there. Enough to get him thinking, at least.
There had been a moment. A silent, quick moment in time where he forgot about Caroline, the guys outside the booth, the entire wedding reception. Just anything but, Jess looking ridiculously beautiful and sitting that close to him in that fucking photo booth.
Luckily, he'd stopped himself but, for a second he hadn't wanted to.
He'd been soo sorely tempted. He couldn't help it. The cramped, small space had done nothing to alleviate his need either. Had done nothing to quell how amazing she'd looked, how good she smelled (even now, his mouth watered at her scent; flowers and edible baked goods) or how curious he was to find out if her taste was as unique and sweet as everything else about her.
But, she'd broken it. Even unknowingly, she had broken it. Lowing her eyes beneath her lashes and her face way from his before his actions could catch up with his thoughts, as though she knew what was on his mind.
He was glad she had, though.
Because if he had kissed her. Had acted on the many thoughts and impulses he had inside him, what they had now. This growing friendship between them would have gone to shit.
And he didn't want that. Not at all.
He still didn't want that. And that's why if she wanted, he would ignore his feelings for her and focus on the importance their friendship instead.
That is, if what she wanted.
'Cause if there was even an inkling that she was on the same page as him of just near it, he was going for it. That was for damn sure.
Which, if he was reading her expression correctly, they were headed towards the latter option.
At least he hoped. She didn't look angry or horrified. Just... nervous.
He just hoped it was nervous for the right reasons (if there was such a thing).
"Okay...", She sighed, folding her arms in front of her chest. "What did you mean back there?"
"Jess, I don't-"
"What did you mean when you said CeCe was right?" She asked him almost accusingly.
He almost didn't answer as he noticed her stiff stance against the door, her arms crossed and keeping a good distance away from him, eyes darting around before landing on him narrowly.
He was opening his mouth to say something when she went ahead and pinned him with her next question before he could answer. "Do you want me?"
He froze on the spot. Despite the bluntness of the question, her voice wavered a little bit and she blushed appealingly as her eyes once again darted away from him.
He didn't know how to answer that seemingly simple yet, loaded question.
He cared about her. He was almost sure he was falling for her. He was sverely attracted to her. He also fucking adored her. But, did he want her? In that raw, most primal of ways?
He gazed steadily at her. Her cute, kiddish pajamas with her fuzzy slippers. Her porcelain skin and rosy cheeks. Her beautiful eyes. The way her pink, perfect lips went into a grim, thin line when she was pissed or pouted when she was upset or opened up to reveal equally perfect white teeth when she smiled widely, making his poor heart stutter.
Did he want her? Yes. He most certainly did.
She was beautiful, unique, sweet, and he wanted her for that. She was different and was the exact opposite of him in almost everyway. She'd helped bring him out of his funk. Helped him finally and truly let go of Caroline. And had unknowingly and effectively crawled into his good graces with little to no effort. Grabbing a hold to his affections without even doing much.
So, yeah, he did want her. Very much.
"Yes." He decided then that, for once, he was gonna be honest because Jess deserved nothing less than that so he would try, for her sake. "I want you." Without even realizing it, he'd stepped closer to her, ebbing away at the distance between them. "A lot." He ended up close enough that all he had to do was simply reach out and touch her.
She stared up at him with eyes he could get lost in. "Why?"
"Why?" He repeated. "What do you mean, why?"
"I mean why? I thought you thought I was annoying." She stomped her foot and met his eye daringly. "Didn't you?"
"Well..." He thought on it. "... Yeah. I did. A little." He looked down and away from her.
"Then, why if you find me so annoying, do you want me or even like me at all?" He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was serious.
He just stayed quiet. There was so many reasons he wanted her. He simply didn't know how to tell her. Again, he was no good with talking about his feelings.
Jesus! He'd already admitted he was into her. That he wanted her. Shouldn't that be enough?
"Nick-"
"I already told you how I felt." He grumbled, looking away from her again.
"No." He looked over to see her shaking her head. "You said 'you wanted me', maybe hinted that you were into me but, you never said anything about your feelings, Nick." She sounded disappointed and it felt like a punch to the gut.
He felt even worse when fresh tears started collecting in her eyes as she gazed up at him almost imploringly. "You really can't think of anything?" Now, she just sounded hurt. Another punch.
For the first time since they stepped inside her room, Jess stepped closer to him and his eyes suddenly found an interest in the white walls behind her head as he felt her hands on his chest, clenching his jaw tight as the simple touch made a jolt of heat plow into his body unexpectedly. "Nick." Her voice was a whisper across his face as slender fingers travelled to his neck up his jawline and turned his face towards her, making their eyes meet again, dark deep brown against glimmering pools of blue. "I don't wanna mess up our friendship. I don't wanna screw us up."
He closed his eyes, a bitter pill being swallowed whole. Yes, their friendship was important to him but, it didn't make this any less painful. "I know."
"But, I do want you, too." He eyes then sprang open and he stared back into those pools again. "I didn't realize it until now but, I do. I do want you."
Somehow his hands ended up on her hips. Don't ask him how. "Then, what's the problem?" He asked her, gazing into her beautiful face.
Her blue eyes glistened as she gazed back into his darker ones. "We're friends-"
"Yeah, I know that, Jess." He interupted, suddenly fustrated. So, they were friends. So, what? That wouldn't change by much. Not really. They'd still be friends, only dates would be involved. And kisses. And... sex. Oh, God, Nick, don't be thininkg about sex when you're in her bedroom. Please don't. "That's not gonna change. We'd still be friends. Only..." He paused, thinking about it before continuing. "... you know, more."
He knew he sounded a little lame but, he really wanted this. He wanted Jess. He was even starting to think he needed her a little bit, too. "I just want a fair shot." He fingers unconsciously clenched on her clothed hips, bringing her closer to him an inch more. "Just give me a chance." He held her gaze to help her see his sincerity. "I care about ya too much to not try my hardest to make you happy."
He watched her, almost seeing the wheels turning in her pretty little head, hoping against hope that they were turning in his direction.
She stared at her feet as she whipsered her next words. "Okay."
"Okay?" He couldn't believe his ears. Jess was consenting to a thing with him, A real, relationship type thing. "You mean...?" He looked at her with hope in his eyes.
She looked back at him, a shy smile on her lips that made the organ in his chest constrict a bit. "I mean." She nodded emphatically, the corners of her mouth lifting even more.
"Oh." Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her, initiating a bear hug, relief enveloping him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." He clutched her to his body tightly, burying his face in her neck as she giggled at his reaction.
"Okay. Someone's happy." She said in her usually quirky manner, returning his embrace, long arms going around his shoulders.
He simply hummed, enjoying her closeness.
They stayed like for a while, holding each other, Jess's face tucked into his shoulder and his nose in her hair.
And then, just like that everything changed.
Nick suddenly realized the position they were in. He noticed how the way he was holding her aligned their bodies just so, making everything touch. He noticed the way her lips lingered on his throat, making it bob nervously and how her hands massaged down his back, causing a tingle to go down his spine. How right she felt in his arms and how the smell of her drove his senses wild.
Trailing his lips from her hair onto her neck, he lay a kiss there. A punctuating, sound kiss that, he was proud to say, made her breath hitch. "Nick."
God, how his name never sounded soo good coming from someone's mouth. The breathy quality of her voice was enough to drive him insane, making him wonder if she would sound half as good between him and a mattress.
"Jess." His voice came out raspier than usual and he sounded nearly unrecognizable to himself.
She opened her mouth to say more but, then his mouth was over hers and both didn't say much after that.
...
A/N: Phew! Got that done! Well, not really. Decided to make this a bit longer than originally planned. Wanted to write a lot more in this chapter but, ended up writing their 'talk' a lot longer so, there's that.
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