4. The Art Of Pining

Emily

"Aw fuck," I said, probably for the hundredth time that day. "Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck."

I had been busy with classes all day, and once I had recovered from the disappointment that the blonde wasn't somehow part of the new intake (yes, I know, but a girl can dream), I had to focus on my responsibilities to my clients. You know, like not letting any of them drown on their first day. There was a crazy blonde girl whose skill did not match up to her enthusiasm, who I thought was going to give me a run for my money on that score, but she was kind of fun. There were a couple of serious types, a couple of girlie girls who obviously were not expecting to actually have to work at anything, a posh chick who had her own equipment all in matching baby blue, and the rest were fairly normal women who just wanted to try something new. But it was hard, you know. Even the foxy dreadlock chick with the Celtic tattoos who I would normally been all over like a rash couldn't hold my attention. Even when she started giving me the eye during the afternoon session. Any time it got a spare second, my mind kept drifting back to yesterday…

I waited in that sodding car park all afternoon, hanging out with Cook, smoking and drinking tea. He seemed genuinely happy to have the company, and avoided saying anything too gross that would have pissed me off and made me leave. But I only ever had one ear on his ramblings anyway, as my eyes constantly scanned across to the little gate that led to the cliff path. But she never came. Oh fuck my life, they must have walked down from Llangennith. Why the fuck hadn't I said something on the beach? At least I could have found out if they were staying around for a while. It wasn't as if I was misreading any signals. I could still feel the delicate shiver of her gaze as it swept across my skin, and I wanted to have her look at me like that again. Like I was precious. I wanted those astonishingly blue eyes all over me again, swiftly followed by her hands and her lips, and the rest of her beautifully naked flesh…

"Aw fuck," I sighed again.

"Still?" said Effy quizzically, setting down two smoothies in front of us.

"Still what?" I said, dragging myself back into the real world as she sat down opposite me.

"Still pining?" she smirked.

"Jesus Effy, you can talk," I raised my eyebrows at her. "Or shall we not mention three fucking years?"

Effy was my best friend, and so of course I ran over here as soon as I could after work to gossip about the blonde bombshell with her. I hadn't made it over the night before, as 'just the one pint' with Cook had turned into a bit of a session. I'd held my tongue about the girl on the beach with him as I knew he'd just rip the piss out of me. It didn't seem like I was doing much better with Effy, although she had no grounds for gloating given her track record.

Effy had drifted onto these shores about three years ago under mysterious circumstances. Pretty much everything about Effy was mysterious, and apart from a few select people, that's the way she liked to keep it. She is stunning – long brown hair that looks gorgeous even when it's a total mess, penetrating blue eyes that seem to know all of your secrets without you uttering a word, and a cool unassailable distance that drives men and women alike into a frenzy. I fancied the hell out of her at first, but it is amazing how unsexy someone can quickly become when all they do is bang on about your wonderful bloody sister. Ask anyone around here and you'll get a dozen different versions of the whys and wherefores of Effy's arrival, but here's the generic version cobbled together from a number of different scripts.

It had been pretty much of an ordinary summer when one day a massive yacht pulled up in the bay. We were used to regular pleasure boats coming and going, but this was something else. It looked like something you'd see moored up in Monte Carlo or St Tropez. Whoever owned it came from Big Money, and we certainly weren't used to seeing that round here. Word gets around quick in a small place like this and soon the village was buzzing about the big boat, and whether some popstar or celebrity had decided to grace us with their presence. The most popular rumour was that Catherine Zeta Jones had decided to pop home for a visit to Mumbles.

But the reality was quite different. It was a family that eventually came ashore, a mother, and her two grown up kids, but they were no ordinary family. They weren't famous, but they certainly made an impression. They waltzed about the place as if they owned it, but although we were used to the behaviour of posh cunty tourists with no manners, this lot were different, especially the mother and son. They had this air about them. They looked… dangerous. And not 'I'll punch you in the face if you spill my pint' dangerous. More like 'step out of line and your entire family will disappear' type dangerous. Their crew appeared to be not so much crew as henchmen, and people very soon began to give them a respectable distance. Nobody knew why they were here, but then again pretty soon nobody wanted to know either. Even the most gobby lads knew not to give them any trouble. But there was one very notable exception.

Katie was waitressing in the local pub back in the days before Dad finally convinced her to join in the family business. It was a busy Friday night when the family we now know to be the Stonems, decided to come for dinner. The other girl who worked there had called in sick, and Katie had been rushed off her feet all night. My sister is what you might call volatile at the best of times, but that night she definitely not in the mood to take anyone's shit. The Stonems had been insufferably arrogant all night, demanding her attention even when she was busy with other clients, and by they time they reached dessert, she was just about at boiling point, especially as the son kept trying to feel her arse whenever she walked by. She was just taking an order from a lovely old couple who were regulars, when the blonde older Stonem woman interrupted her again.

"Oi, Shortstuff," she yelled. "Get me another bottle of wine. And make it something decent. Not like that crap you served us last time."

Katie slammed her notepad down, and all the people on the surrounding tables started to hold their breath. She marched right up to the Stonem table, and folded her arms belligerently across her chest, pushing out her cleavage like a weapon.

"Firstly, my name is not Shortstuff," she fumed. "Secondly, you chose the damn wine, so it's not my fucking fault if it's crap now, is it? And thirdly, I don't care how much money you've got, I'm serving someone else so you'll have to wait your turn."

"Is that so?" said the mother menacingly.

"Yes, it is," said Katie, defiantly.

"You know she's had people kneecapped for less than that," the boy laughed at her, as his mother pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. You could see the 'crew' at the surrounding tables start to tense up.

"I'm sorry," said Katie, momentarily plastering on a fake smile. "But I'm afraid you can't smoke that in here."

"I think you'll find that I can do what the fuck I like," sneered the woman. It was the last straw.

"Not in my fucking pub, you can't," exploded Katie. "Now put that fucking fag out, or get the fuck out."

"Who do you think you are, little girl?" said the woman, shaking her head, and going to take another drag.

Katie snatched the cigarette out of her mouth, and ostentatiously put it out in her own dessert.

"I'm Katie Fucking Fitch," she spat. "Who the fuck are you?"

The whole pub fell silent. The Stonem's goons stood up, ready to do whatever they were asked to with the troublesome girl, but Katie didn't flinch. She held eye contact with the matriarch not willing to back down. No one breathed for the several seconds, until Anthea Stonem laughed.

"I like you, Katie Fucking Fitch," she said. "You've got balls."

The tension in the room imploded, and Anthea ordered rounds of drinks for everyone in the pub. When the family eventually went, they left Katie a three hundred pound tip. It was Jonno Briggs who filled us in on the rest. He had been looking at Effy the whole time, for no other reason than he thought she was gorgeous. No one had seen Effy smile, or even express any other emotion the whole time they'd been here. She hadn't exuded the same level of swagger as the rest of her family. In fact she had mostly looked bored. But Jonno said he had never seen anything so beautiful as the way Effy's face lit up, when Katie had stood up to her mother. He said it was the kind of smile you'd expect to see on a saint, when they'd received a revelation from the heavens. And that she didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.

The next morning I was cycling down by the harbour, heading for breakfast at Rita's café, which was my refuge from my mother's atrocious cooking, when I stopped to see the big boat sailing away. A glance to my right revealed that I was not alone. Standing leaning on the harbour wall watching it go, was Effy Stonem herself. She must have sensed my presence, as she looked up quickly, and her eyes shone for a moment before her face was clouded with a frown.

"You're not her," she said.

Even though I was, for the moment, unaware of the previous night's events, I still guessed she must have been talking about Katie.

"I'm her sister," I shrugged.

"Sweet," said Effy. "Buy you breakfast?"

I'd watched it all since then. The thrill on Katie's face when she got her first bunch of flowers from 'a mystery admirer'. Her growing excitement when said admirer kept lavishing beautiful gifts on her. Her shock and disappointment when Effy finally confessed it was her. I watched Katie fucking around to put Effy off. I watched Effy fucking around to distract herself from Katie. There were even some rumours that they'd kissed one a big New Year's Eve night out in Cardiff, but nothing ever seemed to come of it. They seemed to have come to some kind of truce now and they got on well enough. I think deep down Katie actually liked the fact that someone loved her so completely, she just wished it was the other party in their ridiculous triangle of unrequited love.

"Mine's not pining," stated Effy. "It's love."

I rolled my eyes at her.

"She doesn't want you, Eff," I said, and not for the first time. "When are you going to move on?"

"You don't move on from Katie Fitch," said Effy, as if it were some fundamental law of the universe.

"Fine," I said, giving up on her. "But this is not helping me with my lost blonde problems."

"Her name's Naomi," smirked Effy.

"What?" I said, putting down my smoothie and leaning towards her urgently. "Damn you Effy Stonem, what do you know?"

"I may have certain information," replied Effy coolly.

It didn't surprise me. Effy made it her business to know everything that was going on around here, and she would certainly get wind of it if a couple like those two were staying around for more than a day or two.

"Spill," I said.

"What's in it for me?" shrugged Effy.

"Whatever," I said. "What do you want?"

"Will you put in a good word for me with your sister?"

"Effy, I've put an entire dictionary of good words in for you with my sister. It doesn't bloody change anything."

Effy just stared me out until I relented. She had me by the balls and she knew it.

"Fine," I huffed.

"Her name's Naomi Campbell," said Effy.

"Oh fuck off bitch," I said, shoving her in the shoulder. "Stop fucking with me."

"I'm not," countered Effy. "That's her name. Tall, bottle blonde, steel blue eyes that could 'melt a man's heart in a moment'. Gorgeous black boyfriend?"

"He's not her boyfriend," I said with certainty.

"How do you know?"

"Because she looked at me," I mumbled, knowing that this would not be enough to impress Effy.

"Oooooh," said Effy sarcastically. "She looked at you, eh? Must be love"

"She looked at me the way you look at Katie," I blurted.

All hint of cynicism fell from Effy's face in an instant.

"I sold some gear to Bob the Rental last night. Said he'd got himself a nice little earner renting the boat to some students doing a marine biology project. Described your two to a tee. He was taking them out today, in fact. Said they probably wouldn't be back till around sixish. So if you happened to be hanging round in the harbour…"

I checked the time on my phone. Ten to five. I had better get down there now just in case they came back early. I gulped down the rest of my smoothie, and ran to the other side of the table, grabbing Effy and kissing her on the head.

"I fucking love you, Effy Stonem," I said.

"Yeah well just remember to pass on your opinion of my magnificence to Katie," she laughed.

"I will big you up like you're a goddess," I told her as I hurried towards the door.

"Oh and Emily, be cool," said Effy. "They're here for two months."

My heart was hammering as I ran down to the harbour to see if Bob's boat was there, and I did a little dance of joy when I saw they were still out. I bobbed into the second-hand bookshop and bought myself a legitimate excuse to just be lurking round on the harbour wall. You're such a fucking stalker, I laughed at myself as I settled in for my vigil, but damn that girl is seriously stalkable. I tried to actually concentrate on my book, but it was impossible when my head would shoot up at the slightest little noise on the off chance it would be them. Forty minutes later and three pages in, I heard the sound of an engine shot through with the most beautiful sounds of laughter drifting back into the harbour. Somehow I managed to restrain myself from running down the jetty to Bob's berth. Be cool, be cool, be cool, I muttered under my breath, as Bob brought the boat in home. But as soon as the two students lurched onto the jetty, I knew I would be the only winner in the coolness stakes tonight. Naomi Campbell and her friend were stoned. Seriously fucking stoned. I remembered Effy had sold Bob some gear, well it looked like Bob had passed it on and Effy's stuff was not to be taken lightly. The pair of them giggled and stumbled up the jetty like fools, completely delightful fools, setting each other off with the music of their laughter until at one point they had to stop and cling onto each other to stop themselves from crying with the hysteria of it all. I half readied myself to dive in and save them if one of them ended up in the water. Miraculously they made it back to dry land, and I found myself smiling almost as much as they were. Naomi Campbell was an adorable stoner, and her smile was doing funny things to my heart. She was so fucking beautiful, but all I wanted right then was the chance to sit next to her and listen to her talk. I had time. I could be cool.

Naomi froze when she looked up and saw me, and I saw her poor stoned brain trying to reel itself in so she could cope.

"Hi there, nice to see you again," I smiled sweetly. "I'm Emily."

Naomi just grinned at me helplessly. It was the boy who spoke first.

"I'm Thomas," he said, in a gorgeous French African accent. "So glad to meet you."

"Likewise," I replied, accepting his extended hand.

This seemed to spur Naomi into action.

"I'm stoned," she said. "Um, Naomi. I'm Naomi."

"Stoned Naomi? Nice name," I smiled.

"Um..shit… um," she mumbled.

"It's ok, we've all been there," I said sympathetically. "Effy's gear is legendary."

"His name is Bob," offered Naomi helpfully.

"Are you staying in the area long?" I asked, deciding not to reveal the true extent of my stalking powers.

"We are here for two months," replied Thomas, who seemed considerably more coherent than his friend. "We are students on a science project."

"Measurinf fish, and shit," added Naomi.

God, she was so cute, I wanted to kiss her there and then.

"Well, you should come down to the Golden Lion tonight," I said, making sure to address both of them. "A friend's band is playing, so there will be quite a few people there. I can introduce you to everyone."

"That would be most excellent," replied Thomas.

I looked back over to Naomi to see if she had taken my bait, only to find that she was staring at me again.

"Lovely," she murmured.

She could have been talking about the invitation, but I got the distinct impression that with the drugs impeding all her social filters, she was simply talking about me. I had to get out of there, before I blew my new found cool.

"Great, well I'll see you later then, about nineish?"

"Lovely," repeated Naomi, and I swear my heart changed shape.