K guys – this chapter is nothing like I originally planned but I found myself jonesing for a little peaceful alone time for our girls, mainly because there are still some things that I believe it would be important for them to discuss. So in many ways this is really a fluff chapter as I can't seem to get enough of seeing the one-on-one interaction between these two, in high-definition detail no less.
Aaaaaand your reviews have tattooed my blush on. Really really – you're too nice to me.
Anyway, hope you enjoy reading the fluff as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Our Thoughtful Children
It was after midnight that night before any of the kids finally started coming down from their intense sugar-high, supplied by the copious amounts of candy and soda that their mothers willingly let them indulge in. By the time the third movie finished just after 12:30 all three kids had passed out completely, Miranda and AJ sprawled side-by-side on the pallet right in front of the TV while Gabby snored gently with her head on her mother's lap and her legs draped over Marissa's knees. Marissa eased the girl's legs off her and crawled over the other two to turn off the TV while Bianca gently lifted the toddler and scooted her over on top of some large pillows where she immediately curled into a tight ball and went on sleeping.
"My legs are completely numb," Bianca whispered with a grin at Marissa as she massaged the tops of her thighs where Gabby had lain for the past two hours, trying to get some feeling back in her toes before crawling out of the fort.
"I know both of my feet are asleep," Marissa replied, wincing slightly at the intense tickling sting in them. "And I've had to pee for like an hour." Both women silently got to their knees and crept for the door but as Marissa scooted around the tops of Miranda and AJ's heads she felt a tiny hand graze her ankle and she turned to see AJ peering blearily up at her.
"Are you not gonna sleep in here with us?" he asked sleepily, his voice hoarse from only being half awake. "I made a bed in the other room so you and Bianca could sleep there. Miranda and Gabby helped me move one of the air mattresses in there for you."
"Is that what you were doing in here earlier?" Marissa asked with a glance at the navy sheet separating the other room of the fort from the one they were in, only then realizing that none of them had gone in there the entire night as they were all far too happy to chow on pizza and candy in the room with the TV in it.
AJ nodded against his pillow and Marissa threw a grinning glance at Bianca who was crouched inside the doorway, her face showing the same shock and amusement that Marissa felt. She brushed down AJ's frizzy hair affectionately. "Of course we'll sleep in there buddy," she told him, and her heart swelled at the boy's drowsy grin. "We're just gonna get rid of some of this trash and then we'll be back, okay?"
"K," AJ replied almost inaudibly, his weak voice muffled as he burrowed back into his pillow. "Night mommy. Love you. Night Bianca," he added as he turned his head away. "Love you."
"I love you too buddy," Bianca whispered as she returned to the side of the pallet and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on AJ's forehead before turning to Miranda, whose eyes were fluttering open slightly.
"You and Marissa are gonna sleep in here, right?" she asked, her eyes never opening fully. "We made you a bed."
"I know baby, and thank you for doing that," Bianca whispered as she kissed her cheek. "We'll be back in a little while – we're just gonna clean up a little first."
"Okay," she replied with a languid sigh as her eyes sank closed again. "Night mommy – I love you."
"I love you too Mimo," Bianca said with another kiss to her cheek, and she and Marissa once again made for the door but Miranda's whispered voice pulled them back again.
"I love you too Marissa," she breathed, asleep almost before the words left her mouth and Marissa scooted back to kiss her forehead fondly.
"I love you Mimo," she whispered into her hair, and as her gaze returned to Bianca's she knew without question that they were both thinking the exact same thing;
Perfect.
/
I literally cannot stop smiling, Bianca thought blissfully as she stood in the darkened kitchen having just dumped the empty pizza boxes in the trash. She leaned back against the counter and placed her palms on the cool granite, still trying to get a grip on the blazing happiness inside her chest. I can't remember the last time I had such a magical evening. Even with Reese there were never any goofy kid-filled nights like this – there's no way I ever would have convinced her to build a fort with the girls, let alone sleep in one. And having AJ here too just completes it – Miranda and Gabby love him so much and they're already like siblings. And Marissa – good god and then there's Marissa, she sighed, working hard to swallow the tears that threatened to burst out of her at the gorgeous picture of the redhead in her mind, spending the entirety of the second movie with Gabby sitting up behind her shoulders playing with her hair while Bianca sat on the floor with Miranda as they gave each other matching manicures. She glanced down at her clumsily painted pink nails and chuckled, remembering AJ's slightly exasperated expression as Miranda had finally convinced him to let her put clear polish on his toes.
I never imagined it could ever be this way, she thought, shaking her head to stop the tears from flowing. And it's only been like 24 hours – Marissa and I only got together yesterday and already it's just… perfect. More than perfect. It's easy and unforced and just so damned magical. And that look – dear god that look that Marissa kept throwing me all night, that look of pure unadulterated joy and contentment mixed with subtle winks and her stunning smile… I want to see that look on her face every single day.
Holy shit I've fallen harder than I realized, she thought as her hands impulsively gripped the counter tighter at the sudden dizziness that filled her brain and it felt like an invisible hand clamped around her heart, the accompanying terror at the understanding making her pulse quicken frantically. Okay Bianca – deep breaths here. It's all going to be okay. This is Marissa, and above all else she is still your best friend. Your best friend who has seen you through some of the toughest events of your life, the same woman who flew thousands of miles just to tell me that my custody battle had been won, who fought like hell to win that case in the first place, and who of course helped me kick a door down when a madman attacked us. She didn't run screaming away from me after I admitted what I did to Michael Cambias, she reassured me and went on loving me just the same. And more. She has been the very best constant that I have ever known and that is not going to change now – in fact it's only going to get better. She's in love with me, she finished dazedly, her head swimming as a wide smile cut across her face in spite of her dark musings, those words the only ones she needed to settle both her heart and her stomach. She's in love with me and I am so completely in love with her. That's all I need to know really.
She took a deep breath before pushing herself away from the counter, the dark shadows that drifted across the kitchen doing nothing to dampen her mood as she practically skipped through the door in the direction of the back porch to meet Marissa.
/
Okay I really don't think I'm going to throw up, Marissa thought as she drifted toward the toilet just in case, finally removing her hands from the sink where she'd just splashed cold water onto her pale face. As soon as she and Bianca had finally crawled out of the fort she muttered something about having to use the restroom, immediately sprinting toward the room down the hall as she called over her shoulder that she'd meet Bianca on the back porch in five minutes. But as soon as she reached the silent solace of the bathroom she felt her façade crack without her permission, the rampaging storm in the pit of her stomach nearly doubling her over as she'd eased the door shut as silently as she could manage.
The instant that she heard Miranda's whispered words, so pure and innocent as they'd fallen right from the boundaries of sleep, her stomach had started on a long line of roller-coaster flips and she'd worked hard to force down the wave of emotions so that Bianca wouldn't see, but as she inched slowly in the direction of the commode she wondered for the first time why she'd done it.
It's okay to let Bianca see this weakness, she reprimanded herself, refusing to get any closer to the toilet than a few feet as she repeatedly told herself that she was not going to puke all over it. Bianca's your girlfriend now – she's your best friend. You're supposed to share this stuff with her… you're supposed to tell her that you've somehow become so ridiculously happy over the past 24 hours that you are now beginning to get physically ill from the strain. You're supposed to tell her that hearing her daughter whisper that she loves me nearly cracked my chest wide open as my stomach tried desperately to make me revisit all the pizza I ate.
Good god I have to get a grip, I can't let Bianca see me crying – not now, Marissa told herself forcefully as she unraveled some toilet paper to wipe her eyes, the sudden eruption of tears streaking the last remnants of her eye makeup and she wiped her eyes clumsily, more tears only replacing the ones she got rid of and she had to laugh aloud at herself.
I've never actually cried because I was too happy before, she thought, images of the evening flashing across her mind. Gabby playing with her hair for over an hour, chattering at her about how she was going to open a beauty shop when she grew up; Bianca laying on the floor playing cards with Miranda and AJ, the game turning into a tickle fight as the three bounced around the fort and laughed so hard that they could barely breathe; Miranda resting her head on her shoulder during the last movie as she dozed off contentedly, the floral scent of her braided hair filling her nose as Marissa forced herself not to move so that the girl could stay comfortable. It had all been so overwhelmingly perfect, the fiery hot ball of love and adoration in her chest only growing over the course of the night, exploding nearly painfully as Miranda had whispered to her just minutes before and now she stood examining her tear-streaked face in the mirror.
"Bianca," she whispered into the silence, the sound of her love's name forcing her heart to quit thumping quite so loudly inside her ears, the image of her dazzling face playing across her mind and calming her nerves from her shoulders to her toes. I owe all of this to Bianca, she thought, a wide smile creeping onto her face. All of this is only made more impossibly perfect by the fact that I'm sharing it with Bianca. How did I miss this for so long? What was I so afraid of? Of being called a name that really doesn't mean anything anyway? No – love is love and the amount I have for that incredible woman should have been indication enough. I am more in love with her than I have ever been before and now I have the most perfect kind of family as long as she's in it. I love Miranda and Gabby more than I ever realized – I can hardly fathom all of this.
She forced a steadying breath and blinked rapidly, trying to keep her blood-shot eyes from giving her away once she left the bathroom but she knew it wouldn't work – her only hope would be that the darkness outside would shield her girlfriend from seeing that she'd just spent the past five minutes bawling like an infant.
Yeah right, she thought with a resolving sigh. Bianca doesn't miss anything.
And that thought actually cheered her further as she sucked in a deep breath and headed swiftly in her direction.
/
"Well hello again," Bianca said softly as Marissa came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, laying a reverent kiss on her cheek as her lips lingered there and Bianca closed her eyes and leaned into the redhead.
"Hello," Marissa whispered into her ear, her voice husky as Bianca turned in her arms to face her.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her eyebrows immediately inching downward in a worried scowl as her hands came up to Marissa's face, her thumb running a gentle line across her bottom eyelid trying to smooth down the remaining moisture from her recent tears.
"Nothing's wrong," Marissa told her breathily, swooping forward to claim Bianca's lips, kissing the woman with all the passion and emotion she had experienced over the course of the evening. Bianca's hands gripped her back firmly while Marissa's clung to Bianca's neck, the two women melting into one another for long seconds that turned to minutes without either of them noticing, each completely lost in the other and before they knew it they had sunk down onto the outdoor sofa where they'd slept the previous night, Marissa sitting so close to the brunette that she was basically in her lap. When they finally pulled breathlessly away Marissa dropped her forehead to rest softly against Bianca's and they gazed lovingly into one another's eyes, both sets shining happily from the hazy glow of the moon.
"You've been crying," Bianca said a moment later, a hand returning to Marissa's face to rub her cheek tenderly.
"I was, but only because I'm so outrageously happy," Marissa admitted with a smile. "I just couldn't seem to help myself."
"Is that why you bolted off to the bathroom?" Bianca asked her, and once again Marissa was unsurprised at her capacity to read her so thoroughly.
She nodded sheepishly. "Well I did have to pee but I really didn't want you to see me crying, but after what Miranda said I literally couldn't stop myself."
"I can understand," Bianca agreed. "Hearing both of them just about made me start bawling right there in front of them. But Riss – I don't want you to feel like you can't show me that side of you."
"I don't feel like that Bee," Marissa told her. "I just – I don't know. For some reason I thought that maybe you would see me start crying and think that something was wrong when it's actually just so goddamned perfect. I didn't want to startle you."
Bianca smiled warmly at her and kissed her cheek softly. "I can see that you're happy Marissa," she assured her. "And that makes me happier than I could ever explain. I can see it in your eyes and in the way you smiled so beautifully all day long – and your wonderful laughter with the kids all night. I'd give anything to see this side of you every single day for the rest of my life."
"Anything?" Marissa managed to ask gruffly, mustering up the remainder of her voice as the tears started building again, and Bianca nodded and leaned forward for a quick kiss.
"Absolutely anything," she whispered.
Marissa cleared her throat. "Just tell me that you're in love with me," she requested, her eyes sparkling with her renewed tears and her heart soared at Bianca's immediate smile.
"I am so in love with you," she told her evenly, surging forward and soon both women were lost again in a body-shaking kiss that neither wanted to pull away from as wandering hands began to roam, Marissa delighting in the sensuous smoothness of Bianca's skin as her velvety lips pressed against her own making her head swim so uncontrollably that for a long moment she was totally incapable of registering anything outside of the feeling of the brunette in her arms. Dear god – what is she doing to me? was her one fractured thought, and when Bianca's lissome fingers crept beneath her shirt all rationale left her mind completely.
/
"It's almost two in the morning," Bianca said over an hour later as she lay back comfortably on the couch with Marissa's head on her chest, their legs tangled together and their arms wrapped tightly around the other.
Marissa grinned and inhaled slowly, relishing the comforting smell of Bianca's perfume on her t-shirt and she nuzzled her nose into it. "Really? I hadn't noticed," she breathed. "I was too preoccupied making out with my beautiful girlfriend to check the time."
"Ha – me too," Bianca chuckled. "But once we finally ran out of air it kind of seemed pertinent for one of us to do it. We still have sleeping children upstairs, mind."
"'Sleeping' being the operative word," Marissa replied as she lifted her head to rest her chin on Bianca's chest to gaze at her. "They're so wiped out from today that they'll sleep soundly till noon, I guarantee."
"We can only hope," Bianca yawned as she brushed the wayward bangs from Marissa's eyes. "Considering we're running on about five hours of sleep from last night you and I both are going to need our beauty sleep as well if we're going to keep up with them tomorrow."
"Do we have a plan for tomorrow's festivities?"
"Well I'd already arranged with Kendall to meet her and the boys at Krystal's before having a play-date in the park," Bianca told her. "I'm sure Spike and Ian will be thrilled that AJ's going to tag along." Marissa nodded but stayed silent, a wide range of emotions drifting across her contemplative face and Bianca looked a question at her. "What?"
"Well…" Marissa began slowly, finally moving to sit up properly and Bianca followed her. "I was just thinking that that may be the perfect time to uh – start spreading the love, if you get what I mean."
Bianca's eyebrows crawled up her forehead. "You – you mean you want to tell everybody about us tomorrow?" she asked tentatively, trying to conceal the shock in her voice but of course Marissa picked up on it.
She leaned forward and kissed the brunette tenderly before responding. "Bianca I really don't see the point in keeping this to ourselves," she told her flatly. "If what's tripping you up is the fact that this is my first relationship with a woman then please do me a favor and cut it out. I know what I want and I'm not afraid of anything, not since I have you in my life. And I'm certainly not afraid of Krystal or your sister and they seem like the perfect place to start anyway. Don't you agree?"
"Uh – yeah," Bianca conceded after a stunned moment of staring at the redhead, once again her unfounded self-assuredness sending her into a tailspin. "I guess I just want to make sure that you really understand what you're getting yourself into. I know you say you're not scared and that's incredible but there are other things to consider."
"Like?"
"Well like the fact that yesterday you still lived at the Chandler's and to everyone around you it appeared as though you and JR were on the highway back to reconciling."
Marissa sat back slightly and peered intently at the brunette. "Okay you're right – I hadn't actually considered that part. But before you get all smug I'll just say that I really don't give a flying shit what anybody thinks and that includes their opinions on our lesbian relationship as well as how it might appear against my whole thing with JR. After what he did – what he's always done – I really just don't care. About him or about how it might look that I've moved on already. As far as I'm concerned everybody can just keep their opinions to themselves."
Bianca blinked for a few seconds before smirking. "Did you just call yourself a lesbian?"
Marissa smiled and laughed quietly. "Not exactly…"
Bianca raised an eyebrow. "Kinda you did. A little bit."
"Well… I mean… okay yeah. Sort of."
"Sort of," Bianca repeated, her amused grin falling away as her expression turned serious again. "You know you don't really have to label yourself here Riss. The fact that you fell in love with me doesn't change who you are."
"I know that," Marissa assured her, unable to keep from leaning forward for another quick kiss as she continued. "But the fact is that that's what people will call me – what they'll call us. And while you've always embraced it because that's a part of who you are, I am a little new at it. I've never been attracted to other women before and so I don't know if that will change since I'm so attracted to you. But the real truth is that I don't plan on looking at anybody else ever again, man or woman, and so if that makes me a lesbian then so be it. Somebody give me my welcome package."
"No welcome package, only me," Bianca replied with a smile that reached her ears, Marissa's inherent charisma charming the hell out of her.
Marissa leaned toward her and smiled just as widely, both her hands gliding up to her cheeks as she pulled her in. "Even better," she said against Bianca's still smiling mouth, the two sharing a lingering tender kiss that sent shivers tumbling down their spines.
When they pulled back Bianca inhaled deeply and rested her forehead against Marissa's again. "So you'll tell Krystal tomorrow and I'll tell Kendall."
"That's the plan," Marissa agreed. "Truthfully I feel like Krystal's going to be happier than you'd expect. You know how much she hates JR so I think she'd be happy that I'm with anybody as long as it's not him. Plus she loves you."
"Well I'll try to make that feeling mutual," Bianca said. "Although we certainly have come a long way over the years. I really don't mind her now and the fact that she's important to you actually helps exponentially."
"I know you've had your issues with her," Marissa told her soothingly, winding her fingers into her flowing hair. "And god knows I have mine with her too. But deep down she is a good person and I think you know that."
"I do," Bianca agreed, incapable of doing anything but agreeing as she lost herself to the glistening honey pools of Marissa's incredible eyes. "And I have a little confession…"
"Oh?" Marissa asked. "What's that?"
"Uh – Kendall already knows. About how I feel about you anyway," Bianca admitted, her eyes darting downward involuntarily. "She's the one who convinced me to give you the music box yesterday. I ran into her at the Yacht Club and she and I got to talking about everything."
"You weren't going to give me the music box?" Marissa asked, suddenly completely confused. "Why not?"
Bianca shrugged timidly but charged forward. "Same old story really. I was afraid that by giving it to you it would be too much of a tell about how I really felt and I was terrified of scaring you, especially because of how things seemed to be going with JR. I was just being a coward but Kendall of course talked some sense into me."
"Bianca you are anything but a coward," Marissa told her forcefully, gripping her chin and pulling her face back up to meet her eyes. "You are the bravest person I have ever known in my life. If anybody is the coward in this situation it's me for running away from it for so long."
"Okay you asked me to quit questioning your resolve about being with a woman and I'm going to ask you to quit beating yourself up for that," Bianca said. "That just doesn't matter anymore. We're together now and that's all that counts. Right now. I'm here holding you and you're holding me back and our kids are asleep upstairs. That's what's important. Everything else is just background noise, remember?"
"I remember," Marissa croaked. "You have yourself a deal."
"Good."
Marissa's smile lingered on her face as she peered lovingly at Bianca, and after a brief moment the brunette shook her head slightly and asked "What?"
"Our kids," Marissa said somewhat breathlessly. "You said 'our kids'."
"You said it earlier," Bianca reminded her. "And it's the truth isn't it?"
Marissa could only nod as she captured Bianca's lips again, pushing her back down against the cushions but she made herself pull away before they got completely lost again. She slid her head back onto Bianca's chest and listened to her steady heartbeat for a while, the smooth rhythm of her breathing matching her own and she sighed happily into the still night. "Bianca?" she asked after a few quiet minutes.
"Hmm?" Bianca hummed, and Marissa heard the sound echo inside her chest.
"Can I stay here at Wildwind with you?" she asked softly. "At least until I find a place of my own."
"You can stay here with me forever," Bianca breathed in reply, and Marissa heard her heart rate quicken beneath her ear. "I wish you would stay."
"I'm not ever going to want to leave, I'm positive of that," Marissa assured her, lifting her chin to start a trail of kisses from her clavicle to her ear, but Bianca's hands found her cheeks and pulled her to her.
"Please don't," she said, her voice overcome with cracking emotion as the two women gazed adoringly into the other's eyes for a long moment.
My god I've never seen anything more stunning, Marissa thought as she looked down at Bianca, her luscious brown hair splayed out on the cushion beneath her, wreathing her head in silky flowing locks that she wanted nothing more than to tangle her fingers into. I've fallen harder than I thought possible.
Bianca's hands brushed Marissa's falling hair back from her face, tucking it smoothly behind her ear as she laid there entirely incapable of speech. How in the world did I get this lucky? she thought dreamily, memorizing the way the moon glinted off her shining red hair, illuminating her already spectacularly glowing face. I must not have ever been truly happy before…
Marissa leaned down slowly and kissed her gently at first, her hands forcing their way under Bianca's back as she clutched her closer and the two rolled over so that they were both on their sides, but in spite of both women's escalating desire for the other they pulled apart after only a moment.
Bianca took a deep breath. "Riss?" she asked, and the redhead blinked languorously at her.
"Hmm?"
"Are you about to pass out?"
Marissa smiled and nodded, burying her head in Bianca's shoulder. "Definitely," she replied, wave after wave of heavy fatigue crashing down her body, making her muscles feel denser than normal. "I think the events of the past 24 hours have finally caught up with me."
"Thank goodness – me too," Bianca groaned. "I think maybe we should head back upstairs before our legs quit working altogether."
"Another great plan," Marissa agreed as the two climbed achingly from the couch. "And besides – we have a bed painstakingly put together by our thoughtful children to sleep in and it's calling my name."
"Our thoughtful children?" Bianca asked with a sly grin, and Marissa walked forward and hugged her tightly.
"Yep – our thoughtful children."