A/N: The only note I bring you for this chapter is that from here on out there is some possible if-you-look-at-it-sideways-and-under-a-blacklight-during-Lent-once-every-ten-years kind of way SS/NT. That's right kiddies, Snapey's here! Also, this is the fabled "hot Snape." Don't like it, don't imagine it so. Also, I do not own the "Airplane!" reference in this chapter. Enjoy and PLEASE review!
Severus Snape approached the front door of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place and was about to knock, but then remembered that
Sirius hated it when people rang the doorbell, so he did that instead. The portrait of Mrs. Black screamed inside and Snape imagined his
old rival falling down the stairs in an attempt to get to the portrait. It brought a twisted smile to his face.
Almost as soon as the screaming started, however, it stopped. Rather than being greeted with a string of swears by Sirius like he usually
was, the door instead only opened a few inches, as if on its own. Against the laws of common sense (#22: If a door opens by itself, don't
go in), Snape pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside. The front hall was empty, which of course, was quite unusual.
"Hello?" he called out cautiously. The door closed behind him, and before he could turn around, a hand clasped over his mouth and a
strong arm held his arms to his sides. Snape struggled and tried to pull out his wand, but the figure tightened the grip on him. Whoever it
was, there were surprisingly strong. The figured dragged him into a nearby closet and released him. "WHAT THE BLOODY—" Snape
almost yelled.
"Shh!" hushed the figure mid-sentence.
Snape muttered, "Lumos!" and the closet was illuminated by a dim light. Snape was shocked when his captor was revealed.
"Nymphadora?!" he cried in a hushed tone.
"In the flesh!" she replied cheerily. "And it's Tonks." Snape rolled his eyes. A million questions ran through his head, the most
important being "What the bloody hell is going on?!" a concern which he voiced to Tonks, who was looking out at the hall through a crack
in the door.
"I'll explain soon!" she said. "Just keep quiet!" Put off at being bossed around by the bumbling Auror, Snape was about to argue, but
obeyed the order when Tonks flashed him a warning look. She turned her attention back to spying out of the closet. Curious, Snape
positioned himself so that he could see too. Standing in the front hall was...a ninja? 'No, it can't possibly be,' thought Snape. Upon closer
inspection of the figure, he came to realize that not only was it indeed a ninja, but it was one of his least favorite students, Ron Weasley,
dressed as a ninja. Snape's jaw dropped in shock. He pinched himself to make sure this wasn't some kind of twisted dream. It wasn't,
much to his dismay. He tried to say something to Tonks, but his brain was too confused to produce words. Instead he only ended up
looking like a fish gasping for air. Out in the hall, Ron looked around, shrugged, and went back the way he came. He and Tonks remained
in the closet until they heard a door close in the distance, at which point Tonks opened the closet door and stepped into the hall. Snape
had been leaning against the door, and when Tonks opened it, he fell flat on his face with a loud THUD!
"Jesus, Sev!" she said, turning around. "Don't be so clumsy. They might hear you!" She grabbed him by the robes and helped him to his
feet. He was about to argue, but instead just shook his head. It wouldn't do any good.
Only when Snape was back on his feet and brushing the dust off his robes did he finally notice Tonks' strange attire.
"Are you...dressed as a...a pirate?!" he asked incredulously. Tonks didn't reply. She took him by the arm and led him up the staircase
and into a room on the second floor. If being pulled into a closet by a pirate Tonks, seeing Ron Weasley dressed as a ninja, and falling flat
on his face weren't enough excitement for Snape for one day, what came next was good enough to do him in for good. Gathered in the
room were Harry Potter, Fred Weasley and ... 'Albus Dumbledore?' And they were all dressed as pirates. "This day keeps getting
worse and worse," said Snape to himself as he examined the pirate crew. Shaking his head as if trying again to wake himself from this
horrible nightmare (God, how he wished it was a nightmare!), he finally said, "So will someone please tell me what's going on here? Is this
some kind of psychological warfare against Voldemort or something? Because if you wanted to do that, you should have dressed up as
flamingos, not pirates..." he ended sarcastically.
"This, Sevvie," said Tonks (she ignored that he flinched at the use of the diminutive, but Harry and Fred snickered.), "is the Pirate team.
Welcome to our little game of Capture the Flag!" Snape blinked, the look on his face blank. With an exasperated sigh, Tonks quickly
explained the game and the Pirate team's current situation. When she finished, Snape said, "So let me get this straight. You've spent all
day dressed like pirates, looking for a bloody flag, and shooting each other with Muggle water guns?" The team nodded. "Surely you must
have something better to do!" The team shook their heads.
"And don't call me Shirley!" added Fred. Harry and Tonks snickered. Snape rolled his eyes. Dumbledore was completely ignoring the
whole situation and instead was sitting on a bed attempting to play paddleball, but the ball simply would not get onto the paddle. After a
few minutes of trying, he threw it aside, muttered "It must be broken..." and conjured up a new one, which also would not stay on the
paddle long enough to bounce.
Snape was still completely astounded by the stupidity of whole the situation. Fred laughed at him. "You're acting just like McGonagall,"
he said. "She's on the other team though."
"Speaking of," said Tonks, "Harry, what did you do to her? I trust you have the location of the flag, by the way?" she added
expectantly.
Harry grinned. "Of course! As for McGonagall...she...well..." his almost looked a little sick.
"She's...umm...she'soffshaggingCrookshanks." The Piartes wished they hadn't heard what he'd said, but they did. Everyone in the room
gave a collective shudder. "In cat form, of course!" he added. "Ya know, if that helps." It didn't. They all shuddered again.
"ANYWAY!" said Fred loudly to break the awkward silence in the room. "So, Harry, where is the flag?"
"What?" said Harry, trying to banish the bad mental images from his brain. "Oh, the flag, right. It's in the bathroom on the first floor,
Spell-O-Taped underneath the toilet seat."
"Perfect!" cried Tonks excitedly. "Now we need a plan. But first..." Tonks grabbed her wand and pointed it at Snape and his usual
plain, black robes were transfigured into a pirate costume. Snape was not terribly happy with the change in wardrobe, but Tonks thought
she had done a good job. She blew on the tip of her wand suavely to emphasize her pride in his new look. Snape now wore black leather
boots, black breeches that (Tonks wasn't ashamed to notice) showed off his surprisingly nice figure, a dark green poofy pirate shirt and a
black vest embroidered with silver. To finish off the look, his long black hair was tied back in a very pirate-y ponytail with a dark green
ribbon. Tonks had every right to be proud of her work – he looked hot.
Snape sighed, resigned to his fate. "So," he said, "what's the plan?" Tonks grinned and the Pirates gathered close around her.
"Okay, so here's what we're gonna do..."