I apologise for the weird reuploading three times of this chapter. Apparently even did not apperciate Haruki's gushing...:P Enjoy.

Get Your Ass in Gear

I woke up.

The hell?

I cricked my neck from my uncomfortable sleeping position on the floor, and felt the aches from lying on the hard floor. I stood, carefully stretched, and glanced around. Oh, that's right. I was in an alternate dimension, where at least one example of gender switching had occurred.

Hm. Well, we'll see.

I passed by the mess of brown hair still in bed, and carefully made my way to the 2nd floor bathroom. Quickly brushing my teeth and generally waking myself up, I swiftly tip toed back into my female self's room. Thinking it best to wake my gracious host up, I proceeded to shake her gently.

"Oi. Get up."

Her eyes flickered open, and she rose first, rubbing her eyes with both fists. She took one away, and glanced my way with one open eye, stifling a yawn. "Oh…right. You."

I stopped shaking her. "I'm assuming your family would not take kindly to a male intruder?"

"True…alright. I'll get freshened up and change and things. Wait for me here." She slid out of bed and groggily walked to the bathroom, before returning in a change of clothes and looking much better. "Come on. Out the front door, no one else is up yet."

As Kyonko closes the door behind us we hear a scuffle from behind and a distinct, but muffled "Kyonko-chan where are you going~?"

"OUT." She shouts back, lets the word hang for a little, before finally letting go of the door knob.

"Your little brother?"

"Yeah. Cheeky little bother. Right, you need new clothes and a way back home, right? Let me ring up Itsuko…"

She took out her cyan coloured cell phone with a cute dragon cell phone strap. Had she any other colour cell phone I would've taken offence at such a strap. Good thing cyan was my favourite colour…she muttered a few sentences, before hanging up. "Come on. We'll meet her at the café before Haruki shows up and accuses you of stealing my maiden heart."

"Hm. So he wouldn't accuse you of cheating first?"

"Of course not! I've proven my fidelity, now he thinks only a wizard can take me away from him."

"Interesting…"

Eventually our stroll through town leads us to a table at the café in the train station. Itsuko was neatly dressed in a yellow blouse and green skirt, which I felt fitted her counterpart's usual formal and crisp demeanour. "Ahah. I see our guest to our dimension is quite devoid of any suitable attire." Her vocabulary and eternal smile spoke volumes about her personality. Exactly like how I'd thought of Itsuki.

"…Right." Kyonko also seemed to be uncomfortable with the unnerving unchanging smile. "He just needs one change of clothes before he gets whisked away to wherever he belongs."

"Good." Itsuko pulled out her own mobile phone, sleek black with matte finish, hit a speed dial, and muttered a few commands. A waitress arrived at our table, and I ordered a big Western breakfast and some coffee, while Itsuko ordered an English breakfast teapot, a plate of scones and butter for herself and Kyonko.

Hey, sometimes greasy bacon and eggs can do some delicious good for a brain, despite Itsuko's obvious disdain for such ordinary plebeians like myself.

Meh.

As we were eating, the rest of the Brigade showed up. They were all similar and yet…different. The male Yuki (Yuuki) still had the same colour hair and vaguely same haircut, but was much much taller, even passing me in height. He nodded in my direction, and sat down next to me. The male Mikuru (Mitsuuru) strangely still retained his counterpart's short stature, but sported a short shaggy haircut, with the fringe swept to one side. Nervously waving to me, he sat next to Itsuko, who immediately offered him a scone which he gratefully received. Male Haruhi (Haruki) bounded into the café with all the vigour of a joyful 8 year old, gave Kyonko a swift kiss on the cheek before drawing up a chair and sitting next to her. She patted him on the head a few times before returning to her scone and he grinned at me lopsidedly, winking.

So this was the genderbent SOS Brigade, huh?

Itsuko cleared her throat.

"Right, down to business," She placed her teacup down onto its saucer and daintily wiped her mouth with a tissue. "Your clothes will be here shortly."

"Err, great." I smiled, feeling quite uncomfortable among such a familiar group. They hit the uncanny valley in my consciousness for the people I already knew.

"Haruki, Yuuki, Mitsuuru, this is Kyon. He's…a slider." She chose her words carefully, measuring Haruki's reaction. He seemed to be restraining himself for the moment, and was content to just watch me, eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Hey, I didn't come here of my own accord. An actual slider forced me here." I rose my arms in the universal "I-couldn't-help-it" gesture. "I'd like to get back as well, since I have a feeling he'll try to raise hell back there."

At this point, Haruki burst out with inane gobbledegook I couldn't understand, the words gushing from his mouth.

"Hey hey, slow down. First, I haven't noted anything different apart from the switched genders."

He pouted a little at that, looking like I'd just stolen candy from him.

Itsuko butted in, returning the conversation to its businesslike style.

"First, Mitsuuru, was this event planned or…?"

Mitsuuru squeaked and jumped in surprise, evidently very focused on eating his scone.

"Uhh…I don't think so. I don't remember anything like this from what I remember of any briefings…" His eyes came back from being deep in thought, and he clammed up. Obviously he'd said too much already.

"I see. Alright, Yuuki, any way for you to be able to return him?"

He adjusted his glasses and tilted his head a bit. Then gently nodded.

I arched an eyebrow. "Really? But you manipulate data, don't you?"

"Interdimensional travel is manipulating data in a way. Copying your form here, rebuilding it back in your own dimension, and then wiping you from here."

"Would the initial changing of dimensions have affected the process in any way?"

Yuuki shook his head. "Even if the slider had done an imperfect dimension swap, your form in your world will be destroyed as soon as you enter. The similarity in data between the two entities would force one to be overwritten. As you say…you can't be in two places at once."

"You better get your ass in gear buddy," Haruki grinned.

I crept up the stairs to the second floor. Carefully reaching the landing, I held my breath.

No sound. Good. I could at least complete this part of the plan without a hitch. I slowly and carefully knelt, and hit a button on my glasses. A heads up display winked on, with TAKAHASHI, TATSUYA – AGENT CONFIRMED flashing for a moment, before it cleared. I switched through the visual modes to night vision, and the area lit up in varying shades of green. I curled my hand around the doorknob to Haruhi's room, and turned it. The door made a few slight creaks as it swung open. I edged my way inside the room, gently letting the door close behind me. I knelt beside Haruhi's bed, gently removing the covers and slid the arm of her pyjamas up. I looked at her lying form, and realised that she was silently crying. Hm. Poor girl. Too bad her and all her incarnations had to be destroyed. Extricating a small syringe from my webbing around my waist, I switched my visual mode to x-ray. I laid the syringe on the table, before taking out a small bottle and a linen cloth. I soaked the cloth in the bottle's contents, a mixture of chloroform and radioactive marker the lab boys had supposedly made. Not that much of in house developed tech worked…I laid the piece of cloth over Haruhi's mouth and nose, and let her chest rise once, twice, three times. I took the cloth away and stowed both it and the bottle back into their pouches, as I watched the radioactive marker travel lazily down her arteries, and then back to her veins. Paying attention to the path the marker took in her arm, I laid her arm out straight, before finding her vein. Clutching the syringe I breathed in once to steady myself, held the air in my lungs, and gently punctured her skin. Once the contents of the syringe were put into her bloodstream, I slid it out, dabbing at the small wound I had created with some tissues on her bedside table. Once the bleeding stopped, I placed a round band aid on it, before replacing the sharp within my webbing. I slid her shirt's arm back down again to cover hers, before creeping out of the room, sliding down the bannister, and slipping out the front door.

Hopefully the scientists' had done their job properly, and her mind will be mine by tomorrow.

That was the plan after all. To eliminate the master copy, the first instance of herself, before moving to exterminate the rest of her kind. And what easier way to do that than to win her hearts and minds, exploiting humans' very weaknesses?