Laura

I Chat About Mythology with the God of the Sun

I sat silently as the man-no, god- -that I now knew was Apollo continued to drive down the Virginian countryside, rock music playing on the radio. I refused to look at him, choosing to look out the window instead.

"Come on, sunshine. What can I do to make it up to you?" He asked casually, as if talking to a small child. I finally decided he deserved an answer as I turned to him with a stone-cold expression. "Do you think I even care that you're a god? Not only did I grow up without a father, but I lived with a mother who absolutely hated me. As far as I'm concerned, you might as well not even exist." I turned my back to him once more when I was finished.

The Greek god of the sun was silent for a moment. "Did you know this car is actually the sun?" He asked suddenly, causing me to look at him with a critical expression. "No, it's a car. The sun is an enormous ball of gas in space. Besides, if this was the sun, we'd be dead and blind."

Apollo only laughed at my answer. "You've been hitting too many books, sunshine. Besides, I have it on a low setting. That's why it has such a killer shine."

The blonde laughed for a moment, but stopped abruptly. "Hey, what do you mean you 'lived' with your mom?" He turned to me, letting go of the wheel. I was about to say something, but the car seemed to drive itself. Then again, why should I care if it gets wrecked anyways?

I gave an irritated sigh. "Like I could live with that crazy bitch. Of course I ran away." I said blankly, as if talking about the weather. "Okay, one, don't talk about your mother that way. She was a great woman." He went silent for a moment. "Apparently only when I was around."

"If she was so fucking wonderful, then why did you leave? Why do you have so many other kids? If you loved her so much then why leave to go mess around with other women?" I turned away from him angrily, crossing my arms in frustration.

Apollo got quiet for a moment at that. "So you lived on the streets?" He finally asked, looking straight ahead at the road instead of me. "Well technically yes. I crashed with a friend for a while, but then that got bad, so..." I let the sentence hang, not really remembering how long I had been living off of broken-in motel rooms and abandoned summer cottages. "I've been living in an apartment recently, though; a pretty shitty one."I added with a frown.

"I'm sorry, kid. I really am." The god of the sun looked at me and smiled sympathetically. "From now on, I promise I'm going to spoil the Tartarus out of you." He ruffled my hair, but I moved away. "Just take me back to camp." I mumbled, staring out the Maserati's window.

"Gods no! We're gonna hang out if you like it or not!" He said with a big grin, shining teeth as white as clouds. I waved him away dismissively, a lock of his hair catching fire before burning out abruptly. "You can't burn me, sunshine; I helped invent fire. Besides, I'm the god of the sun. You know, sun equals heat, heat equals fire?"

"Annoying sun god equals irritated Laura; irritated Laura equals five fingers across the sun god's face." I shot back, glaring at him threateningly. He only laughed at my comment though. "Feisty! I like that! So where you wanna go, kiddo? Anything special you wanna do?"

"Besides break your nose with my fist again?"

"No hurting daddy, sweetheart. And no going back to camp, either."

"Do you treat all your little infidelity screw ups like this?"

The car breaked suddenly, and I probably would've flown out the windshield if it weren't for the magical seatbelts. When I looked over, Apollo was looking at me with a stern, almost angry expression. "My children are not screw ups, and neither are you." I only smirked at him, crossing my arms as I rolled my eyes. "I hope gods can't get syphilis, since all of you sleep around so much."

There was a rumble in the sky, even though it was a sunny day. "Insult me all you want, but don't drag the rest of the family into this." The sun god warned. "They'll fry you in a heartbeat."

I raised an eyebrow daringly. "I think I'd rather be dead than live this life." I muttered, staring out the window with a serious expression. "Laura, you probably think there isn't a life after death, but there is. Didn't you read about the Underworld when you studied Greek mythology in school?"

"I never finished school, and I never studied your stupid Greek mythology. All it really is about is a bunch of immortals who either get jealous and do something completely horrible and unjustified, or fall in love with a million people, spawning bastard children like the Cyclops, leaving their lovers to die as they move on to the next whore."

Now this time there was a huge rumble, the ground seeming to shake and the road ahead of us cracking up. I noticed the tide of the ocean near where we were driving sped up dramatically, water rushing over the country road we were driving on. "Laura, I said don't! You're gonna piss them off!"

"What do I care? I might as well be dead. And don't you even deny that the whole thing with you did with Marsyas was complete bullshit."

Apollo was about to reply back until a grin spread across his features. "So you have been hittin' the books. That's great, sunshine." He gave a laugh and ruffled my hair before his expression grew a bit irritated. "Secondly, Marsyas was a total dick."

"Oh please. All of you up there in Olympus are fucking shallow. If someone says they're better than you at something, you don't just ignore it; you challenge them or do something completely awful to them! Like, remember that chick who Aphrodite made fall in love with a bear because she didn't want to get married? What a bitch! Women can be happy without having a man!"

I have the feeling the sun god was going to yell at me again until he let out a laugh. "Actually, Aphy is kinda a bitch." He grinned, looking up to the sky. "No offense, sweetheart!"

"Oh, and Athena? That shit she pulled with Arachne was real cute; I fucking HATE spiders."

Apollo laughed again until a sharp ringing noise rang out, causing the god of the sun to pull out his cell phone and flip it open, giving me a brief glance.

"Hey, don't bitch at her! It's not her fault I couldn't raise her right!" He said the moment he answered the phone. "You didn't raise me at all, you hypocritical dick." I mumbled under my breath, receiving a light swat on the back of the head, which really didn't even hurt. "Listen guys, chill out. I wasn't there for her and she's a bit stressed. If you want to be miffed at anyone, be mad at me."

"Since you're on the phone with the gods, tell Hermes I said hi. I don't have anything against him yet."

"Herms, Laura says hi. And Aphrodite, quit threatening her! What, you jealous 'cause I've got a daughter that's way prettier than any of your superficial kids?" I snickered at that comment, probably because it was true. "Laura, Hermes says to behave. And second, he stole from me; be mad at him for that."

"Good. He's my new favorite god. Besides, if it weren't for him, Pan, and Dionysus, we wouldn't even have masturba-"Apollo clamped a hand over my mouth. "Sunshine, you shouldn't even know what that is." I only laughed at him.

"Listen, I'm sorry my little care bear isn't exactly your cup of ambrosia, but try and chill out. Pleeease?" I heard a few voices on the other end of the line. "And if you don't tolerate her, you can all say 'bye bye' to the sun." Apollo added with a laugh, as if he didn't just threaten to doom the planet. And with that, he flipped the phone shut.

I stared at him with a look of irritation, shock, and confusion.

"You really are an evil bastard, you know that?"