This one goes out to all my Muff Monkey Massive. Never let anyone put you down, cause you are awesome just the way you are.

I don't own Skins, but when I met it, I knew I was in love.

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23. When You're Smiling

Naomi

You cannot stop Effy smiling to save your life. Me and Thommo went down to the harbour a bit later that morning to give Ems some time with her friend, and for me to catch up on some sleep. The first thing that told me something was going on was when Cat greeted us at the back of the boat.

"Good morning sailors," she said breezily. "Captain Cat at your service. I shall be driving your boat for today."

"Where's Effy?" I asked before jumping to unpleasant conclusions. "Oh God, has something happened to her?"

From the state I had found Emily in last night, I wasn't expecting great things from Effy.

"Oh, something's definitely happened to her," smirked Cat.

"Is she ok?" asked Thomas.

"See for yourself," replied Cat, nodding towards the roof of the boat."

We clambered up there to find Effy lying on her back staring up at the clouds with a half empty bottle of champagne beside her. She was wearing nothing but a long T-shirt… and a beatific grin as wide as the Pacific Ocean.

"Naomi, Thomas," she said as our presence entered her consciousness. "Have some champagne. We're celebrating."

"We are?" I asked, wondering what could have effected such a miraculous transformation in the angry and aggressive coke monster I'd seen last time we went to sea. It was like she was a different woman. So ok, it was ten thirty in the morning and she was already tipsy, but this was no anguished bender. Her body seemed more relaxed than I think I've ever seen it, and her eyes were positively sparkling. She got up from where she'd been lying and gave Thomas a massive hug.

"Today is the most glorious of days," she told him. "It is a precious jewel of a day, and we must live it to the full."

My eyebrows shot up of their own accord. Effy was not one of life's spontaneous huggers, and yet here she was coming over all Gina Campbell on my ass. And all the while that dazzling smile remained plastered in place. I had seen Effy's wasted grin on more than one occasion by now, but this was a different beast entirely. This was the smile of someone whose soul was fucking dancing. As she reached out to include me in the spontaneous hugfest, it dawned on me that there was only one thing in the world that would make Effy this fucking happy.

"Katie?" I whispered in her ear as she embraced me.

"Hell yeah," replied the joyous brunette, breaking away from me into a full-on arms-wide twirl. "I got Fitched."

Thomas giggled out loud. He was new to the wonderful world of Fitch puns, and clearly found them highly amusing.

"So anyway, Cat's gonna take you out today, cause I got stuff to do," smiled the effervescent Effy. I was finding it unnerving, all this unbridled delight flowing out of the usually cool and emotionless girl.

"Stuff to do or people to do?" laughed Cat from the deck below.

Effy just beamed at her. She climbed down, pulled on her boots and picked up her jacket.

"Have a beautiful day," she saluted us.

"Is that all you're wearing out?" I frowned. She was barely covered up at all.

"Easy access," she shrugged, causing me to blush despite my own spectacular shenanigans of late. She grabbed what looked like a set of car keys from the table.

"Effy, you can't drive. You're drunk," I said.

Who was I, her mother?

"Good point," she consented, before yelling at a young man with a fishing rod who was sat on the opposite jetty. "Hey Russell, wanna earn some money?"

The boy nodded enthusiastically.

"Ok, come and be my chauffeur for the day," smiled Effy. "See ya later, Science Patrol. Wishing you fish."

And with that she swept airily from the boat and headed down the jetty, with the rest of us staring into her cartoon butterfly strewn wake.

"Is she skipping?" said Thomas warily.

"I do believe she is," answered Cat.

"Jesus Fucking Christ," was my contribution to the conversation.

Our day at sea was an uneventful one. The clouds closed in again and dumped yet more rain on our heads. In between our sample taking no one stayed on deck to monitor the video. The creatures of the deep were free to go about their business unobserved as we holed ourselves up in the cabin and tried to entertain ourselves the best we could. Thomas chatted to Cat about her fake search for the imaginary wreck. It felt weird keeping things from my best friend, something I had never felt the need to do before, so I kept quiet whilst Cat span him yarns about their dives. It felt that somehow the closer to Effy you became, the more you absorbed her need for mystery. I still knew hardly anything about her, where she came from or the nature of her 'business', but I was fast coming to accept the local custom that it was best not to ask. It still disturbed me though, and when we got back to shore I couldn't get away from Thomas fast enough. I rang Emily as soon as we were in signal range and arranged to meet her over at the Fitch's. I was feeling slightly deflated from the day and I wanted back in my lovely Emily bubble. That, and I was desperate to find out the gossip on Katie and Effy. I swallowed my guilt at the fact that my association with this band of adventurous women was pulling me away from Thomas, and headed over, promising myself I wouldn't let us drift apart over this secret.

I found Emily semi-crashed out on her bed.

"Hey gorgeous," she said, making the effort to welcome me, but barely raising her head from the pillows. She looked tired, and my protective instincts snapped to attention as she tried to struggle to sitting.

"Stay right where you are," I said firmly, joining her on the bed and opening my arms for her to snuggle into. If I was honest, I had to admit I loved moments like this, moments where my superwoman revealed her human side. Her limbs were heavy as she wrapped them around me, but I cherished the weight of them as she let me be her comfort.

"Sorry Naoms, I'm just a bit wiped for some reason," she said. "Guess with the strain of last night, and then the lack of sleep. Plus those corporate dudes are really fucking demanding, I have to work twice as hard to get through to them."

"It's ok, just relax," I soothed. "Your geek is here to save you."

She sniggered into my chest, and what were solid organs and bones instantaneously liquefied inside me. For all the blazing hot sex, for all the cool heroics (and I'm not saying I minded either of those things), it was this intimacy that fuelled my dependency. I loved looking after her. I loved making her laugh. I loved being the one who saw her with her guard down. I loved just being there for her.

"I am saved," murmured a sleepy Emily. "You save me every day."

If I really was a superhero, my name would have to be The Overthinker, and my special power would be fucking myself up by never allowing myself to live in the moment. Emily's words stimulated thought processes that exploded through my synapses. Any normal person would have just gone with the snuggling and perhaps some gentle making out, but no, I had to suddenly start projecting into the future. We were past the halfway mark on our project now, and soon I wouldn't be there for her. I wouldn't be able to save her every day. The thought of it was horrible. How the fuck was I going to cope without her? Without this body and this presence that had some how become so inextricably linked with mine? How would I get to sleep within the yawning chasm of my empty bed? How would I make it through the day without her smell lingering on some part of me to remind me I was loved? How would my ears adjust to a soundscape that wasn't fuelled by the delicate bass tones of her husky voice? How would I function as relativity played tricks on me, and the arrow of time slowed its inevitable progress to stretch into small eternities the days we were apart? How would…?

"I can hear that brain fucking working from here?" said Emily.

"It's nothing," I lied. "Science problem."

"Yeah?" said Emily. "Tell me all about it."

"Not that interesting really," I attempted to deflect.

"You came here to save me with geekdom," she laughed. "I demand nerdy pontificating."

"I was pondering the paradoxes of surviving an alternate universe," I said. "One that doesn't have you in it."

"What kind of freakish hell is this?" she said, sliding herself more on top of me, increasing that delicious weight of her and making me even more aware of what I was going to be missing.

"Plymouth, in a few weeks time," I said despondently. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"It's going to be strange," admitted Emily. "Kinda gotten used to having you around."

"Like a piece of the furniture?" I conjectured, attempting some gallows humour.

"Like you're a piece of me," she answered. "A piece that's going to go missing when you're gone."

"Fuck," I sighed.

"I didn't mean to upset you," she said, concern shining deeply in her soft brown eyes.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do," I replied.

"What are you going to do?" said Emily. "In the summer, I mean. There can't be much of term time left when you get back."

"Just a couple of weeks," I said. "Then I'll have to look for a job I guess. It'd be easier to go back to Mum's and then I wouldn't have to pay rent, but I really need to get my diving up to scratch, cause there's a lot of practical modules next year, so I should probably stay in Plymouth. Fuck I don't know."

"So let me get this straight, what you need is to get some work, but at the same time be able to do more diving?"

"Yeah."

"What kind of work?"

"Anything, I guess," I shrugged.

"So you'd be fine with say, an admin job?"

"What are you getting at Emily?" I said. I could tell from the change in her demeanour that she was plotting something.

"Maeve who works in our office is going on maternity leave at the end of June," she said excitedly. "And I don't think we've got anyone to replace her yet. It's simple stuff. Answering the phones, taking bookings, sorting out payments, that kind of thing. I'm sure you could do it in your sleep."

"But isn't that like for a year or something?"

"No, she wants to come back to work as soon as she can, so it's like three months or something. I mean it's only part time, but all Fitchwater employees get access to free lessons, and I hear their diving instructor is kinda hot."

"Yeah, I heard that too. I wonder if I'll be able to pull her."

"Naoms, it's perfect," said Emily. "You'd have everything you need, and we'd get to be together. I'll ask my Dad about it."

"But where would I live?" I asked, unwilling to believe in this sudden dream of a plan. "You said yourself that it's well expensive to rent a place round here."

"With me," she said with a gentle laugh. "You'd live with me. And then I'd get to have you every night."

"I'm not sure your Mum would be too keen on that."

"I never thought I'd see the day," she grinned. "But I think she's kind of getting used to having you around."

My brain did it's usual trick of trying to present every possible future scenario of how this might blow up in my face, but try as it might, it kept getting sidetracked by beautiful images of a whole summer in the arms of my Sea Goddess, and I had to admit I couldn't find fault with her plan. Ems was trying to be cool, but I was becoming an expert at reading the subtext in her eyes, and right now they were practically screaming at me 'please say yes, please say yes, please say yes'. Resistance was useless, there was no way that I could ever hold out against those eyes. I was just about to open my mouth to speak, when there was a loud banging on the door.

"Are you shagging?" came the inimitable sound of the other feisty Fitch.

"No, we're not shagging," shouted Emily. "You're safe to come on in."

"How do I look?" asked Katie, bursting into the room.

Emily and I reluctantly raised our weary heads from the pillows.

"Wow," said Emily and I in unison.

Even on an average day, Katie made more of an effort with her looks than most of us made even for a night out, but this was Katie dressing up to the nines, and the results were breathtaking. Her hair was curled and wrapped up into some elegant twirly bun thing, with a few artfully placed strands tumbling down from it in all the right places. Her carefully applied make up was red carpet gorgeous, subtle purple shadows around her eyes that drew your gaze right into them, and a luscious full dark red temptress lipstick. She wore a dark crimson satin dress that sculpted her already impressive curves into an enchanted landscape with the power to captivate your soul. And the whole effect was perched upon a pair of vertiginous heels that would have lesser beings in need of an oxygen mask. She looked like an airbrushed high fashion photo, but she was real.

"Effy's taking me out somewhere posh for dinner," she explained. "I wanted to look nice for her."

"I don't think nice even comes into it," said Emily. "I mean, you look, just wow…"

"Yeah like wow," I repeated helpfully.

"Wow? That's all I get?" pouted Katie.

"Seriously," grinned Emily. "I don't think Effy's even going to make it as far as wow. Probably just some open-jawed staring and some drooling."

"She may even faint," I laughed.

"So you think she'll like it?" asked Katie, still insecure after three years of unbridled adoration from her girl.

"It's Effy," said Emily. "She'd like it if you turned up in a cerise tracksuit and a lime green puffa jacket, and long as it was you inside them."

Katie scowled at the image that Ems had put in her head.

"Katie, you look stunning," I said to ease her distress. "Effy's going to fall in love with you all over again. And I'm sure she'll appreciate the efforts you've gone to for her. And I'm even more sure she'll be more than willing to show you just how much."

The shy smile that crept across Katie's face told me everything I needed to know about how she felt about her recent liaisons with Effy. When Katie Fitch starts getting all coy on you, you know this shit just got serious. The feelings she had told me about were real, and now that she had let them speak they weren't about to shut up again in a hurry.

"Now go and get your girl," I continued. "But be careful. Don't let her get too close, otherwise you'll never make it to dinner. You look perfect, and I hope you have a perfect evening."

"Thanks," smiled Katie, giving us another excited twirl, until her phone rang in her bag.

"Yeah babes, I'm ready," she breathed into it. "I'll be right out. Can't wait to see you either."

Her eyes were sparkling as she looked back at us. She looked as giddy as a schoolgirl on a first date.

"Be good," said Emily, and was greeted with a sceptical gaze that said being good was the last thing on Katie's mind.

"You're really good with her," said Emily, once Katie had left. "I know she's not always the easiest person to get on with."

"We share a mutual interest," I said. "We both love you. Besides, she must be all over the place right now, confused and dizzy and excited all at the same time. I was just trying to make it easier for her."

"She doesn't seem that confused," said Emily. "In fact she seems disturbingly certain."

"It's been a long time coming," I replied.

"I love you, Naomi," said Ems. "It really feels like you belong here. Not just with me, but I can see you being a part of the family. Come on, let's go and see Dad about the job. I want you to stay here for the summer."

Rob and Jenna were curled up on the sofa together when we were downstairs, and again it struck me how closely knit this family really were, but when I looked at the dark haired woman in front of me, I felt nervous about whether she would ever really accept me. Emily was aware of it too, as she went straight for her more liberal parent.

"Dad, have we found anyone for Maeve's job yet?" she asked him.

"Oh no, I need to get onto that," he said. "Thanks for reminding me. Do you have anyone in mind?"

"How about, Naomi?" suggested Emily, with a look she must have perfected over the years for wrapping her Dad round her little finger.

"I need a summer job when term finishes," I told him.

Rob was nodding his head, as he weighed up the idea.

"Oh, I'm not so sure," piped up Jenna, pulling herself up to a sitting position. "I think we need someone experienced."

"Mum, Naomi's fantastically intelligent," said Ems. "She could probably do the job in her sleep."

"Well, will she be able to handle the computer system?" frowned Jenna.

"Mum," laughed Emily. "She has just designed an incredibly advanced modelling programme that can project the results of her study, and predict the levels of pollution as affected by the currents for years to come. I think she can handle our booking system."

"Brains as well as beauty," grinned Rob. "I think you might want to hang on to this one, Emsy."

"I do," she said, sitting on Rob's knee and putting her arms around his neck, working the daddy's little girl angle like a charm. "Hence the wanting to keep her around."

"Smart move, Emsy. The job's yours, Naomi. Welcome to Fitchwater."

"Thanks Dad," beamed Emily, kissing him on the head.

"Is this really such a good idea?" insisted Jenna.

"Look love," said Rob patiently. "I know you still struggle with the fact that Emily likes girls, but she does, and that's it. I can tell that this one's special. I mean, how could you object to anyone who puts that kind of smile on our little girl's face?"

I had to smile myself. Emily did look radiantly happy.

"But it's business, Rob" persisted Jenna. "I mean what if they fall out, or something?"

"We're not going to fall out," said Emily kindly. "She's amazing and kind and wonderful, and I love her."

"You love her?" said Jenna curiously, as if this was something she had not come across before.

"I do," replied Emily enthusiastically.

"Well then, congratulations, I suppose," sighed Jenna.

Emily leapt off her Dad's knee, and went to give Jenna a hug.

"Just give her a chance, Mum," said Emily. "I'm going to be with her for a while."

Jenna eyed me up and down carefully before she spoke again.

"Well, if she's your partner then you should invite her to the next family dinner," she said.

"Thank you," I said simply, trying not to react to the sheer amazement in Rob and Emily's eyes. Evidently this was some huge leap forward for Jenna, and I wanted her to feel ok about it. I watched her crawl back into her husband's arms as Emily and I left the room. Despite her prejudices, Jenna was a woman who understood love, and maybe that would be her salvation.

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Another woman who understood love was stood next to me at the wheel of her boat, her features still set alight by the smile that hadn't left her face for three days. Last night the four of us girls and Thomas had gone to the arts centre in Swansea to watch some deep and meaningful Argentinean film that Effy and Emily had wanted to see for ages. It was beautiful and yet inevitably tragic. Emily had cried, and even Katie, once she had stopped bitching about the subtitles, had been visibly moved. As we came out afterwards, each one of us was in a somber and reflective mood. All apart from Effy who simply held Katie's hand and appeared to drift along on little pink fluffy clouds, beaming from ear to ear. A whole menagerie of cats could have occupied a cream-making factory and yet they would not have looked a fraction as happy as the brunette seemed to be. Effy had found a new drug, and she was indulging in it even more wantonly than she had consumed the raft of chemicals that had previously sustained her. All at once she managed to look stunned at her good fortune, smugger than a banker on bonus day, and overflowing with a childlike wonder at her brave new world.

This morning Thomas and I had had to wait for twenty minutes of the back deck of the boat for our radiant captain to deign to join us. It wasn't unusual for Effy to still be in bed when we turned up, but I was used to just going on down to the cabin to wake her up. This morning, however, it only took a few seconds of hearing Katie's screams and filthy mouthed exhortations of what she wanted her lover to do to her, to make me turn on my heels and bundle Thomas back up the stairs, where we were forced to listen to the muffled but still unmistakable sounds of viscerally abandoned sex until Effy finally appeared, once again wearing very little apart from her shit-eating grin.

"Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all. "You know how it is."

Thing was, I did. I too had been caught in the clutches of an irresistible Fitch. Moments later, Katie emerged with wild hair and not much else on, and she wobbled a little bit when she walked.

"Babes, come back to bed," she growled. "I'm not done with you yet."

"Can't," said Effy apologetically. "Got to go to sea."

"Bollocks," said Katie, catching sight of me and Thomas grinning sheepishly at her, desperately trying to erase the images that the recent earthy soundtrack and her dishevelled appearance had conjured in out heads.

"Do you have to?" she pouted appealingly at Effy. "It's my day off. I wanted to spend it with you."

She tugged at Effy's T-shirt and pulled her into a kiss. A kiss that was filled with promise. Thomas and I were fucked.

"Can't mess up their data, honey," said Effy breathlessly. "It's important."

"You're so good," said Katie proudly. "Always saving the world and shit."

"Come with us," said Effy "We can save the world together."

Effy's current version of saving the world appeared to involve staring at Katie sunbathing on a sunlounger in a bikini, whilst paying scant attention to where she was going.

"Effy, are we on the right course?" I asked her, frowning at her instruments.

"Huh?" said Effy dreamily, still smiling at her curvaceous lover.

"Effy," I said, resorting to waving my hand in front of her face. "We're going the wrong way."

"What?" she blinked, looking down at the controls. "Oh shit, yeah."

Effy turned the wheel, and the lines on her navigation systems aligned themselves again.

"Sorry," she smirked. "Got a bit distracted."

"Yeah, I spotted that one," I said, shaking my head. "Want some coffee to help you focus?"

"Sweet," she replied.

When I returned several minutes later, I found her in exactly the same position, gazing adoringly at the woman on the front of the boat, her hands gripping the wheel but paying no mind to where it was guiding us. Jesus, even fucked off her head on coke she was more competent than this. We were never going to get there at this rate.

"You're fucking it up again," I said in frustration.

Her eyes snapped back round to me and she started to laugh.

"You're right," she said, abandoning the wheel. "You'll have to drive."

"What? No. I can't drive this thing," I said in alarm, grabbing at the wheel in panic anyway.

"Sure you can," she assured me. "Just line this up with this and Bob's your Uncle."

Without a second glance she wandered off and left me to it, going to kneel down beside Katie. I glanced at them occasionally in between keeping my eyes riveted to the navigation device, and once my initial terror had worn off, I found myself softening to the sight before me. The pair of them looked so incredibly in love as they laughed and joked together, hands drifting lightly over each other's skin. They had an infectious chemistry that bubbled up out of them and released itself into the atmosphere, making the world a happier place. I was surprised to witness an incredible tenderness between them too, and realised that Effy's indelible smile was not just about getting laid, it was about finally being able to reach the one person who made sense of her world. I couldn't stay angry at her. It had taken me only a week to get Emily into my bed. I tried to imagine what it would be like if it had taken three years, and decided I couldn't deny Effy that goofy smile a second longer.

On the way back I was sitting looking through the days captures on fish tv with Thomas, when Katie came to join us. She looked at us with a serious intent in her eyes.

"How do you know when you love someone?" she asked.

"When you suddenly find that they're in your heart every moment of the day," smiled Thomas, and I knew he was thinking about Pandora. "When your whole body feels like it is glowing the moment they walk into a room. When the tiniest everyday thought about them makes you smile inside. When you look into the future, and you see them holding out their hand to take you there. When sex becomes a conversation that tells you truths only the two of you can share. When you realise that knowing them has finally allowed you to know yourself."

"Deep shit, Thommo," laughed Katie.

"The deepest," he replied.

"So when did you know you were in love with Emily?" she asked turning to me.

"The moment I saw her," I admitted.

"Really?" she questioned.

"Crazy, I know," I said. "But true. I can't explain it, but I know it was real. She moved me, and I knew I would never be the same again."

"Is it always like that?" frowned Katie. "So instant?"

"I think it's different for everyone," I shrugged.

It's not like I was an expert or anything. It had only happened to me once.

"Sometimes love smacks you in the face and knocks you flying," I said. "Other times I think it just creeps up on you."

"Like a ninja," winked Katie, with a conspiratorial glint in her eye.

I laughed when I realised she was in on the secret. Sometimes she hid it well, but Katie was no fool.

"Yeah, like a ninja," I said.

Katie got up and walked to the prow of the boat. She stared out at the shifting oceans for a moment, before taking a deep breath and turning round.

"Effy Stonem," she yelled above the noise of the Catherine the Great cutting through the waves. "Effy Stonem, I love you. I fucking love you, yeah?"

Effy abandoned her post at the helm in an instant, and practically leapt across the deck towards her. I watched as she flung herself into her lover's arms and they kissed frantically on the brow of the speeding boat, the wind whipping their hair around them. I allowed myself a moment to gaze upon the romantic movie scene playing itself out in front of me, before slowly turning to Thomas.

"Guess that'll be me driving again," I smirked.

Like every good Fitch, Katie's thoughts turned to food the moment we hit shore and she suggested that we all go down the pub for dinner. Her idea met with little resistance, and I texted Emily to let her know our plans.

"Already there," came the reply, complete with little winky smile.

I knew she'd had her last class with the corporate bods today, and was probably in the mood for celebrating. The thought of her getting happily drunk whilst celebrating her freedom made me smile inside. Yep, I was undeniably in love.

There was a definite ripple of interest the moment we walked into the pub. I looked around, and you could see people whispering to each other and nodding in our direction. Some of them were trying to be subtle, but some of them were downright bleeding obvious. I looked back at Katie and Effy as the wheels of the village gossip machine whirred frantically all around them.

"Ignore them, babe," said Effy soothingly, but at the same time releasing her hold on Katie's hand.

"The fuck I will," said Katie, grabbing it back and kissing it.

She marched over to the bar, and much to everyone's surprise she clambered onto a barstool and kept going till she was standing on top of the bar glowering down at the rest of us. All conversations ground quickly to a halt as every person in the pub turned to look at her. She eyed them with an evil grin.

"Now much as though you all know I love being the centre of attention," she said. "The wind from all your flapping tongues could blow a ship off course. So listen very carefully, cause I'll say this only once. Yes, Effy and I are shagging. And you can congratulate me later, cause I am one lucky bitch, but there's no need to work yourselves into a frenzy about it. I fell in love, and that's all there is to it. Thank you, and have a wonderful evening."

"Fuck yeah, Katiekins," yelled Cook, leading a round of applause that soon scattered round the pub.

"Now that was coming out in style," said Emily, suddenly by my side and gazing proudly up at her sister.

"She doesn't do things by halves, does she?" I said, slipping my arm round Emily's waist.

"I don't think she's even aware of the existence of halves," grinned Emily.

"What's going on? What did I miss?" asked Freddie, ambling up to us a few moments later stinking of weed.

"Looks like Emily's army's got a new recruit," laughed Huw, the old guy from the harbour who had told us about Bob's accident. Otherwise known as Mr Tactful. Not.

"What do you mean?" frowned Freddie.

"Effy and Katie," said Huw. "They're having it away, so they are."

Freddie's pint went crashing to the floor as he looked over to where Effy was helping Katie down from the bar.

"Steady on lad," said Huw. "I know it's a sexy image and all that, but there's no need to go wasting good lager over it."

Effy's head had turned round at the sound of splintering glass, and now her penetrating blue eyes had locked with Freddie's. Her special Katie smile spread slowly back across her face, but there was no malice in it. It was the first time I had seen her look at him without hate. She didn't need it any more. She had won. She turned back and kissed her girl to a chorus of cheers from the rugby boys in the corner. The love triangle of doom had been irrevocably smashed apart, and Freddie was the collateral damage. I saw his eyes fill with tears, and he turned and bolted from the pub. Emily watched him go, before she turned back to me questioningly.

"Go," I said. "He's going to need someone."

"Are you really taking over the world," Cook asked me cheekily. "Cause when Katie Fitch goes down, you know we're in trouble."

"Oh, she's been going down," I said smuttily, causing Cook's eyes to roll back into his head at the thought of it.

"We're doomed," he laughed. "Doomed, I tell you."

"Hey," I said, spreading my hands out towards him. "With the Cookie Monster out there, I'm sure there's always hope."

Cook laughed his infectious irreverent laugh.

"I've always like you, Blondie," he grinned.

"There's only one thing this situation calls for," I said with faux seriousness.

Cook's eyes flashed as he cottoned on.

"TEQUIIIIIIIILLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA!" he yelled to the rafters.

I had a feeling it was going to be a messy night.