27. On A Mission

Naomi

I was miserable. I was fucking miserable in fact. It was nearly seven months since the wonder that was Emily Fitch had exploded out of the sea and into my life, heralding the most wonderful set of experiences it had ever been my pleasure to undergo. I had fallen in love in an instant, fallen in with a bad crowd, and found myself propelled headlong into a world of sex, drugs and adventure. It was at once an insanely wild headrush and a profound and tender bubble of intimacy. I had never known anyone like Emily, and I had never known the person I could become under her influence. After a life of insecurity where I had so skilfully honed my cautious loner personality, I found myself surrounded by friends I thought of as family, and had developed a bond so deep with a small Welsh village I had begun to think of it as home.

Thomas and I had returned to uni at the end of the project like two conquering heroes. Our work had been hailed a massive success, and we both passed our year with firsts. But even those two weeks away from her had been agony. I had grown so used to having her there. During the last heady days of my residency after the second pipeline raid, Emily had become ever more affectionate, as if she wanted to prove how much I meant to her in the face of the dangers to come. We had waved goodbye to Cat, but I knew that wouldn't be an end to it. Katie and I were just going to have to get used to the fact that our girlfriends were natural born heroes who were destined to take risks for the things they believed in.

The four of us, plus Thomas and Panda took the boat out for a three day jaunt. It was Effy's special treat, taking us out into the Irish Sea to the heart of the waters where the Minke whales swam, showing us first hand the creatures whose habitat we had been researching. Katie had of course complained at first, asking why we had to sail for so long just to go and look at fish, and whilst Emily had rolled her eyes and tried to explain that they were aquatic mammals, Effy had merely tempted her with drugs and booze and sex, and the fact that she could still do internet shopping thanks to the satellite internet. It was a brilliant trip and a fucking awesome party, even if there were, as Panda put it 'limited opportunities to make monkey' with so many of us squeezed onto the boat.

The morning of my last day there I found it virtually impossible to get out of bed, the thought of no more naked Emily for two weeks was simply to horrific to bear. In the end Thomas had to practically drag my ass to the car, with an eagerly snogging Ems still attached to my lips.

Of course, I was back the very second I could make it, cautiously checking for signs of fit Australians in the room that was to become my new home. I knew in my heart that Ems would never betray me, but a lifetime of assuming the worst of people was hard to shed. But shed it I did during the glorious summer that followed. It was a truly hedonistic Summer of Love spent in the finest of company, and it was hard to cling onto my old ways when I was surrounded by such awesomeness. Gina had rocked up a couple of weeks after I got back, and had charmed the pants of the entire village, especially Effy for whom Gina's cheerful, cuddly maternalism was something of a shock, and she immediately adopted her as a long lost mother figure. Even the human glacier that was Jenna Fitch slowly began to warm towards me the longer I stayed in the house, her natural sense of disapproval being eroded by mine and Emily's infectious happiness. And every time I thought Emily could not possibly become more amazing and gorgeous than she already was, she would astound me with some new act of random kindness or senseless beauty that would take my breath away. I had grown up believing that life never really had any happy ever afters, and yet there I was living and breathing proof of their unlikely existence. It was nothing short of perfect.

And that was the fucking problem.

There was no great drama or shocking revelation that kicked me from my perfectly formed cloud nine. Simply the cold creeping fingers of mundane reality. I had to come back to Plymouth. I had a degree to finish, and work to do in a place that held no Emily. She had work to do too, and our plans of seeing each other as much as we could started to slide through our fingers. Cause the long and the short of it is that West Wales is just really fucking hard to get to from Plymouth. Over four hours and eighty-five quid on the train makes nipping to and fro for a weekend more of a mission than an excursion. I have no car, and Emily can't ride her moped on the motorway, and although Effy offered to help, I know Emily doesn't like relying on her for money.

She did lend her the boat one time, when Effy had taken Katie off on a jaunt to Paris fashion week, and Emily sailed over to North Devon, and we had a wonderful few days in a beautiful place called Croyde filled with snogging, shagging and surfing. Yes, that was another product of the Summer of Love. As well as teaching me some advanced dive skills, Emily had finally gotten me out on a board. Of course I was more on a level with Rubbish Pete than the Sea Goddess herself, but it gave us yet another thing that we could share and enjoy together, and the smile on her face when I stood up for the first time was worth all the gold and diamonds in the world.

It was after that that things began to slide. It wasn't through will or lack of intention, but there was a recession on and times were hard for everyone. At first we would Skype all the time, but it was a poor experience compared to the real thing, and after a while the thought of seeing her without being to touch her became more painful, and less and less appealing. Ours became a cyber relationship of tweets and texts rather than meaningful exchanges, and I felt myself slowly drifting back towards the grumpy Naomi from before. I wasn't helped by Thomas jumping in his car all the time and whizzing up to Bristol, or by Pandora's bouncy bundle of fun when she made it down to Plymouth. Seeing the two of them so happy reminded me of what I was missing and made me feel even worse.

But the bottom really dropped out of my world as the cringefest that was Christmas crept into view. I fucking hate Christmas at the best of times, all that materialism wrapped up in a thin veneer of religion turns my stomach, and the only way I can handle it is to bunker myself down with like-minded people and ignore the whole fucking charade. But one by one my options shattered before me. My Mum had met some new bloke she had really taken a shine to and was dragging him off to Laos with her. Thomas was going back to visit relatives in the Congo for the first time in years. But worst of all was that Katie and Emily were being taken off to the North of Scotland to visit with their maternal grandparents. These were the people who had produced Jenna, and it was made very clear that even though the Ice Momma herself had begun to soften, Effy and I were most definitely not welcome to join them. So whilst the rest of the world was pretending to be jolly, I would be left to feed the howling beast of my melancholy all alone.

We were out on our last field trip of the term, on one of the university boats, sailing over to Cornish waters to do a dive cataloguing undersea coastal vegetation. My bad humour had been slightly punctured, by the fact that my status within the group had gone from dork with bad circulation to hardcore diver thanks to the efforts of my amazingly patient girlfriend and a super insulating wet suit that Katie had found for me, and although I had already been down, I was still in my suit giving some advice to another girl who was about to go under, when I was interrupted by the sound of Thomas laughing. I gave the girl a pat on the back, and wandered over to him.

"What's up Thommo?" I asked him. "Thinking about Panda again?"

Just the mention of her name increased the width of his smile exponentially, but that was not what had amused him.

"Look," he said, pointing over my shoulder and out to sea. "That looks like Effy's boat."

I turned round and stared out over the swell to see a small craft that was heading in our direction. I squinted against the sun and made out the familiar sleek lines of the Catherine The Great.

"Fuck me," I hissed. "That is Effy's boat."

I didn't want to believe it only to have my hopes dashed, but I knew it's contours so intimately, and as it drew closer my heart starting smashing against the confines of my chest like a drunk and angry lunatic I couldn't control. The chance to hold my Emily in my arms again? The prospect was almost too terrifyingly beautiful. It seemed impossible, but if she really was here I feared I would go into meltdown. How could the couple of days she might have to spare for me ever be enough? I chanced a quick glance back over my shoulder at Thomas, and the smirk and cheeky eyes that graced his features was enough to tell me that those sneaky Ninjas had conjured up a plot, and that he had been in on it. It wasn't long before the boat came close enough to prove with out a doubt that it was indeed my girlfriend and her best mate conducting a guerrilla raid on my marine botany class. I felt a light touch on my arm and turned to discover my tutor.

"Naomi, I wonder if you wouldn't mind buddying with Parminder," he said. "She's starting to get nervous again."

But in the moment before he had distracted me, I had caught a glimpse of red hair blowing in the breeze and it drew my gaze back towards her like gravity.

"I'm sorry Charlie," I said, as my eyes locked with hers over an ever-decreasing stretch of water. "I can't."

"Why not?" frowned my tutor.

Old Naomi would never have done what I was about to do. She would have dithered about on the boat, embarrassed and gazing at her shoes, and certainly never brave enough to take a leap of faith. But I was a changed woman now.

"I have to make a fool out of myself for love," I told Charlie. "I have to take the plunge."

And with that, and with the sound of Thomas's cheering ringing in my ears, I climbed up and over the railings of our boat, and dived head first into the dark and wintry waters below.

I resurfaced to the sound of cheers and the chanting of my name by my fellow students. When the fuck did I get cool all of a sudden? I swam powerfully and coolly towards the Catherine the Great, my swimmer's muscles much improved from my summer with Emily. Admittedly I had a long way to go before I attained anything like Fitchtastic shoulders, but the effects of my girlfriend had been profound. She had made me into a better person, not by changing who I was, but by unselfishly releasing my potential. I had matured emotionally, spiritually and most definitely physically, finally shaking off the insecurities of my youth and embracing the beginnings of the woman I would become. A woman with a mission.

Effy pulled the boat to a halt ahead of me, and as I reached the dive platform that skimmed just above the surface of the water at its stern, Emily leapt down from the back deck and hauled me from the water straight into her arms.

"I'm all wet," I protested, but she wouldn't relinquish me.

"Just the way I like you," she husked, dragging me into a soft and yet entirely lustful kiss. I immediately deepened it, seeking out her tongue with mine, as a volley of cheerfully lewd catcalls erupted from the other boat. I raised a triumphant fist into the air without breaking our contact, unabashed and unashamed to show the world how much I loved this woman.

"God, I've missed you so fucking much," said Emily, resting her forehead against mine and tangling her hands in my still dripping hair.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked her.

I know that might not have sounded like the best of greetings for my long absent lover, but in my defence I was still in shock.

"We have a cunning plan," said Effy, lounging on a bench seat and smirking down at us fag in hand.

"Does this plan involve a naked Emily at any stage?"

"It does," replied Effy.

"Then I'm in," I said enthusiastically.

They refused to divulge any further details until I was dressed and settled. I had learned well enough that impatience had no value where Effy and Emily were concerned. There would be no point trying to drag it out of them. Simpler just to wait until all was revealed, a particularly entertaining thought where Emily was concerned. Effy pulled up next to the uni boat, and Thomas chucked down my bag with my gear. A stiff towelling down, a change of clothes and a hearty tot of warming rum later, and the three of us were sat round the table in the cabin. I sat with my knees up against my chest, one of Emily's hands encased in both of mine. Like a tiny child obsessed with a new tactile discovery I could have played with that hand all afternoon, relearning the way it worked, the way in smelt, the way it felt against my flesh. My misery had evaporated, and every gorgeous contour of Emily's hand filled me with an infinite joy. I could feel Effy smirking at me, but I didn't give a damn. She might still attempt to maintain her air of mystery, but I knew she'd be a hopeless wreck without her Katie.

"So," said Emily conspiratorially. "Me and Effy are sailing down to the Canary Islands for Christmas, and we want you to come with us."

"You're doing what?" I spluttered.

"Warmth, the beautiful ocean, naked sunbathing," said Effy temptingly.

Ok, so I got a visual, and it was bloody beautiful. I was long past the point where I became embarrassed when my thoughts turned distinctly carnal, and I had grown kind of fond of the sexy beast Ms. Fitch had released from its cage.

"I'm supposed to study," I said half-heartedly.

"Naoms, if you can't study on a boat, then you might want to re-examine your career choices," giggled Emily.

"I'm sure it's not the boat that's going to distract her," countered Effy.

"Please come, babe," said Emily, those unfeasibly soft brown puppy dog eyes gently crushing any last thought of resistance.

"It's kind of a special voyage," added Effy. "So you really ought to be there."

Sensible Naomi would have poo-pooed such a recklessly spontaneous adventure, citing work and any other number of excuses to decline the trip. But sensible Naomi didn't live here anymore.

"I'll come," I smiled.

"I'll make sure of that," promised Emily in a filthy sex voice that nearly had me coming in my pants right there and then.

"Why a special voyage?" I asked Effy, trying to distract myself from the lust that had overwhelmed my body.

"It's my last voyage as the captain of the Catherine The Great," she said.

"What?" I said in dismay. "How come?"

The smile that broke across Effy's face held no signs of dismay at all. In fact she looked fucking ecstatic.

"Katie's moving in with me," she said, near to bursting with pride and happiness.

"Fuck, that's great," I said, trying to disguise the flash of jealousy that ripped through me.

"Yeah," beamed Effy. "But I'm gonna need a bigger boat. You know, for the shoes and stuff."

"What are you going to do with the Catherine?" I asked.

"Sell it, I guess," she shrugged.

I couldn't quite believe she was being so casual about it. This boat held so many amazing memories for me and I had only known her for a summer, and couldn't imagine letting her go if she had been my home. Still, I guess Effy was looking to the future, speaking of which…

"Where is Katie?" I asked.

"She's got to keep the shop open for pre-Christmas sales," said Effy. "She's flying down to meet us when we get there."

"So what happened to Scotland?" I said.

"Katie happened to Scotland," laughed Emily. "It's fucking typical. All those years I tried maintaining family harmony in spite of my inconvenient sexuality. Katie sleeps with one girl and she turns into a one woman Stonewall Riot."

"I believe her exact words were 'If you think I'm going to waste Christmas trying to appease some homophobic dinosaur in Aberfuckingdeen when I could be in the Canaries with my gorgeous bikini clad girlfriend, you've got another think coming'," said Effy. "She was magnificent."

"Well, I owe her," I said, siding my hand along one of Emily's thighs under the table, to a satisfyingly ragged intake of breath.

"Yeah, well I'm gonna drive us back to Plymouth," smirked Effy. I'll leave you two to 'catch up'."

She had barely reached the bottom step before Emily was dragging me towards the bedroom. Looked like I was going to discover the meaning of festive cheer after all.

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I was happy. I was fucking happy in fact. The cunning plan had indeed featured a great deal of naked Emily, and I was beginning to wonder if happiness was an infinite concept, because the more time I spent in her company, the happier I got, each new peak of delight being eclipsed by the next. I was pretty sure my face now sported a permanent grin to rival Effy's. The Bay of Biscay crossing had been kind of rough, but I trusted Effy's sailing skills, and the rewards were more than worth it. We were currently moored up in the harbour at Corralejo, a town in the north of Fuerteventura, with beautiful beaches close by and a funky surf culture as well as great restaurants and bars. Even though it was Christmas day, it was still twenty-five degrees and our Christmas lunch had consisted of an amazing salad made from the local goat's cheese, avocados, and tomatoes. We were all cheerfully tipsy in the sunshine out on the back deck, looking fit and healthy with our tans.

"Got to hand it to you Katie," said Emily, raising her glass of champagne. "This is a hell of a lot better than Aberdeen."

"Bitches are well fit," smirked Katie. "Well, mine is anyway."

"Who's next?" I said, ignoring the wind up from my friend.

We were halfway through the gift giving and I found myself unusually possessed with Christmas spirit.

"My turn," said Effy, sitting up straight and rummaging in the bag beside her, extracting a small box and an envelope. "Normally I would dream of giving a couple a joint present, cause it's unbelievably naff, but in this case I hope you forgive me. Who wants to open it?"

"Me, me," I said excitedly, completely forgetting that I hated Christmas and fidgeting like an overexcited six year old on e-numbers.

Effy pushed the gift across the table. I ignored the envelope and went straight for the box.

I yanked the lid off the gift box, and frowned. Inside was a very ordinary looking key on one of those long silver ball type chains that might house a set of dog tags.

"It's lovely," I said uncertainly, holding it up to the light, but when I looked over at Emily her eyes looked like they were about to explode out of her head.

"You can't be serious," she said incredulously.

"Why not?" grinned Effy. "I want her to go to a good home."

"Want who to go to a good home?" I frowned, not quite sure what was going on with the fucking mystery girls.

"Naomi, that's the key to the boat," said Emily.

"What boat?" I said, doing my dumb smart lady act again.

"This boat, honey," said Emily. "Effy's giving us the Catherine The Great."

"What the fuck?" I said, dropping the key, and tearing open the envelope. And sure enough inside were the papers for the boat, made out in mine and Emily's names. Effy fixed me with a steely glare, effectively silencing any protest I might make.

"Now, whatever piece of the world you end up saving, you'll always have a place where you can be together," she said.

And who was I to argue? I knew how much I had hated being without Emily, and Effy had just given us a home. A home that could take us anywhere in the world.

"I don't know what to say," I said.

"I don't need you to say anything," said Effy. "Just make my best friend happy."

"And don't you dare change the name," laughed Katie.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I smiled at my friend.

A message tone went off in Katie's hands. She had given Effy a new iPhone 4S for Christmas, but had spent most of the morning playing with it herself.

"Ooh, Babes, you got mail," she said, tapping the screen. "Oh, for fuck's sake…"

"Who is it?" asked Effy.

"Just some stupid fucking spam," frowned Katie.

"Let me have a look," said Effy, reaching out her hand.

"Trust me, Babes. You do not need a penis enlargement," laughed Katie.

"Let me see anyway," said Effy.

Katie almost dropped the phone into her outstretched hand, but pulled it away at the last minute.

"Hang on a minute," she said, looking suspiciously between Effy and Emily. "This is fucking Cat, isn't it? It's just her style of humour to send you a coded message in a fucking penis enlargement email. Are you bitches on a mission?"

"Well… we don't have to," said Effy.

"But, there does happen to be a fleet working out of Lanzarote that we know are flouting the ban on bottom trawling around the Canaries," said Emily with a cute little innocent face.

"When?" said Katie.

"Tomorrow," replied Effy. "When everyone's still distracted by Christmas."

"Fine," said Katie, her attempt at faking disapproval completely transparent. "You better have booked me into a nice hotel."

"And I'm supposed to be the mindreader," said Effy, her face radiant with her special Katie smile. "And for you too, Naomi. Unless you want to come with us."

I thought back to the morning after that incredible night in the boathouse when I had made my pledge to Emily. I thought back to all the incredible times we had had, and to everything she had given me. Thomas had been right all along, being careful will only get you so far. Sometimes you have to take the plunge. Emily had turned me into a warrior, and I belonged at her side.

"What do you think, Naoms?" asked Emily gently, trying not to pressure me one way or another, but there was no need. My mind was already made up.

"Just point me to the fucking sandwiches," I smiled.

Bitches on a mission. Saving the fucking planet.

THE END

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For beautiful Cat, for whom the adventure is just beginning….